Karen in the Wild

So I was leaving to go to the store to drop off some donations for an animal rescue.  Well this truck was at the stop sign right behind me and waved me to go.  I looked both ways and started backing up.  This little silver car comes out of nowhere and BLOWS through the stop sign going towards the main road. She missed me *whew*

But I’m headed in the same direction and am right behind her.  She turn right, I turn right.  She turns left, I turn. She turns right, you guessed it…me too.  I was like she's going to think I am following, hahaha. Nah she probably doesn't realize it.  Well we are coming to a "stale" yellow light and as it turns red she guns it and blows through a red light.  Hmmm maybe she does see me.  Well I caught the light but as we get to another main road she is in the turning lane and I pull up behind her.  She turns and well so do I.  As we are trudging along, she sure as f**k turns into the same store I am going to!!!!

I'm like you have got to be kidding me.  So I turn in and park and get ready to get my donation bags out.  As I get out she starts yelling from 3 spots over and across the lane....I was like huh. She screams "YOU!!!" 

Who me?

Followed by, “I didn’t hit you. You didn’t have to follow me to prove a point. You are just going to give an old lady a heart attack” or something of that nature. More words..less coherent.  As she’s yelling her voice is getting louder and louder and more like screetchy.  You know what I mean.  Its like a frantic banshee. This whole scene is causing a lot of stares.  At this point I have said nothing because I am so confused why she still screaming at me.  

Finally, I was like whatever so I just opened my trunk and said “lady I have no idea what you are talking about I’m just here  to drop off the donations for the rescue”.  As I pull two black garbage bags from my trunk.

*crickets* *slow blink* then she aggreessivly huffs/screams...slams her door...she grabs her purse and storms inside. 

She clearly knew she did something wrong but it was just the universe having fun at her expense.  

Honestly if I thought a crazy person was following me...

1) I wouldn't have stopped

2) I would have called 911

3) I would NOT have started screaming

What if the person had a gun?!?!?! People are crazy, totally....but I am not one of them.  

Also don't run stop signs!!!

Calm down there, Hannibal

Went get lunch...almost became lunch....

Me: *standing in line being oblivious*
Guy: You smell delectable
Me: *trying to ignore the conversation behind me*
Guy: *tap tap* Seriously what is that scent, I could devour you
Me: *wtf* *turn around* Excuse me?
Guy: Sorry but whatever your wearing smells so incredibly tasty
Me: *blushing* Right...um its an oil perfume I just got as a sample...

Guy: *looking dazed* What scent is it?!

Me: Uhhhh I...don't....know...I remember something about pomegranates and marshmallows...
Guy: Since I can't eat you, guess I'm getting pomegranates and marshmallows for dinner

Me: *jaw drop* what?!

Guy: No...wait...no...sorry....
Me: Its...wow...ok....*hysterical laughter*
Guy: *beet red* Jesus...seriously...sorry!!! 

I ordered my food and went and hid in the corner until it was ready....

What just happened?!?!?  What is in my new perfume...?!?!?  Who says that?!?

I really don't think he was hitting on me intentionally.  I don't even think he realized what he was saying...maybe...was I being punk'd?!?!!?

SIDE NOTE - this was paraphrased but you get the gist and he truthfully was CREEPY about it!

Someone call the Winchesters, we have a Werewolf on our hands

Saw this..............

 I...what?!?!  Is this for real?!?!  The mental status of society as a whole is terrifyingly unstable.

I swear these are those headlines Sam reads and says to Dean/Cas "So get this....."

and then they all hop in the Impala and go kill the whatever.

"She said she planned to eat the victim’s heart after she killed him, and said she had already written a note to leave on his body explaining that she planned to kill again, according to police."

What?!?!  So like this is about the time I start hoarding toilet paper and don't leave my house...right...?

Educate yourself BEFORE you speak

Also - stating opinion as fact is WRONG 100% of the time.  Also believing your are right in any situation does not give you the right to be an @$$hole...being an @$$hole actually diminishes the validity your argument.

Look I am all about Freedom of Speech and Expression.  I can handle people who don't always see things the same way as I do.  But I'll be damned if you think I am going to sit there and let you spew "information" at me that is not only inaccurate but also insulting.

It is not a secret that I am a child of divorce or that I was raised Catholic.  Apparently that was all the rage back in the day.  Get married in the 70's, have a few kids, get divorced in the 80's.  Whatever, not everyone I knew came from a divorced family but there were a few of us.  NOTHING WAS WRONG WITH US.  My parents and theirs thankfully raised us semi-normally. 

With that said I will not sit back at the age of f**king 30+ and listen to you tell me that kids of divorce are always f**ked up and lead awful pointless lives.  What?!?!?! Listen here @$$hole, I know quite a few children of divorce and while yes some of them have issues, MOST of us are fine.  We have grown up, have educations, have jobs, have spouses, some have kids, and almost all of us are happy and not on drugs or whatever other crazy $hit I just heard.  We didn't fall down the rabbit hole of drugs/financial instability or any of that nonsense YOU have been brainwashed to think.  Most of our parents remarried and we love our steps because they are GOOD PEOPLE! 

Also, just because a Catholic Marriage is annulled doesn't mean any kids in the marriage are now illegitimate.   What fear mongering non-sense have you been reading?!?!  Do NOT sit there and tell me that because my parents had their marriage annulled 12 years after the divorce and 8 years after being remarried that now me and my brothers are "illegitimate".  Educate yourself on YOUR religion before you make yourself look dumb.

While I can accept that you believe that and think that MY FAMILY is wrong, don't argue with me when I show you facts.  Don't tell me that my family did WRONG because they wanted their 2nd marriages blessed by the church after almost 10 years.  F**k they've been married for over 25 years now...whatcha think about that?  Still think its wrong...?  That's fine but call me "illegitimate" again and we are going to have an issue.  Because according to YOUR CHURCH, I am not. 


"For this reason (or for other reasons that render the marriage null and void) the Church, after an examination of the situation by the competent ecclesiastical tribunal, can declare the nullity of a marriage, i.e., that the marriage never existed. In this case the contracting parties are free to marry, provided the natural obligations of a previous union are discharged."

"Although an annulment is thus a declaration that "the marriage never existed", the Church recognizes that the relationship was a putative marriage, which gives rise to "natural obligations". In canon law, children conceived or born of either a valid or a putative marriage are considered legitimate..."


So okay yea my parents divorced and the marriage was nulled BUT according to the church (after an INVESTIGATION) it was deemed a valid or putative marriage i.e. WE ARE STILL LEGITIMATE.  So f**k off with your half @$$ED assessment of things you clearly know NOTHING ABOUT.


Also, children of divorce are not all predisposed to get divorced.  What cracked out preacher told you that?  In my experience many children of divorce are LESS likely to divorce (actually they are less likely to marry in the first place) BECAUSE they don't want to go through the BS. Meaning I know I don't want to go through what my parents went through therefore I'm gonna do my darnedest to NOT marry someone unless I think we can stick it out.  Does this include everyone, OF COURSE NOT, but neither does your assessment so go back in your high an mighty bubble and leave me alone. 


Rant over...PEOPLE SUCK!

Stop killing people you f**king tw@t$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I saw this posted online after the Orlando Massacre.  It may be from something else tragic that happened but its the first time I saw it.  I saved it because unfortunately we live in a world where MURDER (sometimes on the mass scale) is common place.  Yes I know there has always been crime...assault...murder but it seems like lately we are De-evolving.  Instead of growing into a more peaceful tolerant society, we have grown into a society where if we want something we take it.  This includes but is not limited to theft of money/personal property, rape, vandalism, and MURDER. 

What did I say in my last "serious" post??? This one!!!  You will not always get what you want...you are not entitled to ANYTHING!  Why is your life more valuable than someone else's?!?! 

Where is this coming from?!?!  In the last MONTH.......

1.  I saw this while on vacay - Christina Grimmie shot and killed after concert by obsessed fan.  *OMG*
2.  The mass shooting at Pulse night club just two days later! "What the actual f**k is happening?!?!?!"
3. Mass shooting at a Germany Cinema
4. A member of Parliament is gunned down because she was campaigning for The U.K. to STAY in the EU.
5. Mass shooting AND bomb at Istanbul Airport
6. Just the random acts of 1 on 1 violence alone that are on the news daily
7. This morning was the horrific cherry on top...I woke up to something absolutely atrocious.  A 21 year old manager is STABBED TO DEATH by a 23 year old former employee who is robbing the store she works at...AFTER she gave him the f**king money!!!!!!

F**k everything!  Something has got to change.  If it isn't guns, its bombs, or KNIVES.  People are LOSING it.  There is NO respect for life.  It is now "I didn't get my way so YOU have to die" or "I don't agree with your beliefs/decisions/life choices so YOU have to die" or "I am just a f**king tw@t booger, therefore you have to die".  What?!?!  Noooooooooooooooo! Where does it end?  We aren't safe ANYWHERE.  Who says I wont go to a popular restaurant and be held hostage by a disgruntled ex-employee.  Or maybe I go to a festival that happens to support LGBT therefore it is targeted.  Or maybe I am just walking down the God Blessed street and some hooligan decides they like my whatever, therefore they will take it...by FORCE if necessary.   It makes me want to become a hermit and never leave my house. 

I have used the $hit out of this meme but it is sooooooooooooo true. 

I got nature in my eye!

So I am not a girly girly girl.  I like dressing up and being pretty sometimes but I also like playing in the garden, camping, and dancing in the rain.  Which is why when I am told there are TRAIL RUNS, I am usually one of the 1st to sign up.  I love them.  I love running but trail runs are so fun!!!  Its not your typical run.  You aren't on asphalt.  You are in the woods, by a stream, enjoying nature.  Until nature turns on you and you wonder what on EARTH you were thinking!!!

So getting back from vacay where you are eating horribly and NOT exercising and then doing a race is probably not the best idea.  Make that race a trail run and I feel like you are just asking for trouble.  That is what I did.  But I was ready to get back into the swing of running.  At the @$$ crack of dawn we headed out.  We'd been checking the weather.  Two days before 20% chance of rain, day before 30% chance of rain, night before 45% chance of rain (hmmmm), day of 60% chance of rain (ummmm), arriving at the race 90% chance of rain (well f**k).

Hmmm that looks ominous...but we live in the South...that's a summer shower...it'll blow over...

 

  So we continued on...then this happened

I'm pretty sure we just drove through a water spout...HALP!  Shut-up! It'll blow over!!!!

We get to the race and pre-race selfie...

Ooooo f**k you, what is BEHIND us?!?!!?  It's moving south....*whew*...that is moving AWAY from us.  It'll be fine...we'll be fine...its FINE!  But just in case we left our phones and earbuds in the car...ya know to be safe.

So we get to the start line and the guy on the PA is like "I know we are supposed to start at 8 but since people were delayed because of weather we are delaying the start time slightly but not too much"...K. 

8:09: "The lightening you are seeing is moving away from us, no need for concern, we will start soon.  The trail is clear, a little muddy, only a few spots maybe ankle deep water"...ummmm kaaaay, I mean I am a little concerned...its wet and I am about to be in the woods!

8:15ish: "Ummmm, weather reports show some storms over the lake and NOLA East.  They are, uh, moving in a South Easterly direction....so, uh, yea basically they are moving right towards us *nervous laugh*.  We will start shortly".  WTF?!?!?

8:19: *star spangled banner* starts playing. It ends.  The thunder crashes so loud my teeth clanked, the sky opens up in a deluge and we hear a *horn*.  Seriously?!?!?!  We are starting now?!?!?! 

So we went.  All 200 or so of us took off running INTO the woods.  I don't mind running in the rain, keeps ya cool.  Well me and my bestie are a giggling mess running and dodging branches when we hear *screaming* up ahead.  Ummmm, no bueno...what is happening.  We come around a bend and there is literally a STREAM flowing across the trail.  Ankle deep my @$$ that is over that girls shins!!!!  Can't go over it...can't go around it...gotta go through it...and "holy f**king $hit that is cold!!!".  Once that was done we were like "oh, mud is fine, this is fine, we are fine.  A little rain wont kill us" *thunder crash* "$hit".  We go a little further and the ENTIRE TRAIL is knee deep water.  Hmmmm I mean it must just be this section...right?!?  .5 mile in and people are turning around.  What should we do?!? "We aren't p***y's, we got this!" 1 mile in, STILL IN KNEE DEEP WATER.  WTF were we thinking?!?!?!  This is a 5k!!!  Holy mother of f**k, I'm gonna die.  We are in SOUTH LOUISIANA...what if there is a gator or a snake or just a raging f**king creek...*lightening streaks overhead*.  OMG hold my hand, I might wash away!!!  Oh yea and its STILL RAINING.

So yea, 3.1 miles of wading through water...in the rain...in the lightening...IN THE WOODS.  There was maybe .1 miles of just mud.  The rest was just below knee deep to OMG I think that touched my vag, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! 

That was not a trail run...that was a trail swim.  I had mud, twigs, NATURE in the most unusual places.  We were soaked to the bone.  We were cold.  It took us 1:20 to finish a 5k!!!!!!! I usually do a 5k in 35 min or less. 

Should we have run it...probably not.  But hey now we have a funny story to tell, ha...ha...ha *sigh*. 

I have been claimed!!!

Not like by a fae, although that would be kinda cool I guess.  I was claimed by a CAT...actually more than one.  Not my cats, some strays that decided I seemed nice.  I thought we were past this whole strays in the yard thing.  Crazy neighbor is gone so their "sanctuary" has been sealed off, gutted and remodeled.  Apparently there are a few hold outs and since I am Dr. f**king Dolittle they picked me.

My first clue that they were staking claim to me/my house was a cat fight, on top of my A/C unit at 3AM a couple weeks ago (this is right outside my bedroom window).  Ah, nothing gets the blood pumping like a loud crash followed by an angry cat fight. A few days later Speedy bee lined it to the other side of the shed.  I heard a *reow*, a bird flew away, a black and white streak went running, Speedy followed barking.  He had it cornered by the A/C unit but was just BARKING.  I managed to move him and shoo away Mr. Kitty.  I figured seeing the dogs would keep them out.  Over the next week he came back but would jump the fence as the dogs came a running.  Then I realized it was THREE cats.  One black & white, one white & black, and one beige & white.....hmmmm.  The look I got from them was a "you'll adopt me...right...?"  No!

Unfortunately one night the black and white one decided to fight my dogs for the yard.  It ended badly for him.  They weren't attacking just barking but when he attacked Speedy's face, Convict went into protect the pack mode.  We pried the dogs off this poor cat who was IMMEDIATELY abandoned by his friends.  He looked bad, but was alive...  He wasn't moving much but would try to bite, scratch if we got to close.

I couldn't let the idiot suffer so I called animal control.  45 min later they showed up to get the dying cat who hadn't moved.  The SECOND we got in the yard that Mother F**ker got up, darted to the fence, and got on the roof *WTF*.  He was gone.  It was like a "you'll never take me alive coppers" *muahahaha* kind of thing.  Well okay then.

Waaaaaay later that night we found him...ALIVE and pissed off with his posse just hanging out on my roof again.  He growled and hissed and stared us down...GREAT!  "He's gonna die on the f**king roof...that's just wonderful" stupid cat. The next morning he moved but was still on the roof.  I got home from work...chilling on the roof over the front door.  I said "are you going to let me help you????" *hiiiiissssss* *growl*  Ugh, fine!

You'd think he would steer clear after that, right?!?  Nope.  Two days later, back in the yard behind the A/C unit picking a fight with Speedy.  WTF?!?!?!  He can barely move one leg but he was ready to defend "his territory".  Um sorry buddy this is actually THEIR territory...and they will eat you...apparently.  The dogs didn't hurt him again, just barked...A LOT.  Realizing his mistake, he eventually scurried off. 

Its been 3 days and I haven't seen him.  I hope he lived and will be okay...he was a jerk but I don't want the poor thing to suffer!  But I also don't want him back in the yard.  The poor pups had to go to the vet and be examined because they were all scratched and bit up.  Hopefully animal control came back out and got him.  I told them where he was.

I am also concerned the other two were females since male cats rarely hang around together.  If they leave me more kittens, so help me, I may actually go loony. 

I think we are overdue for a new plague...

Alright, that sounds really awful and honestly I do not want to go through something like that.  But as stated in a previous post our society is in a downward spiral plummeting towards something really really really REALLY bad. 

I don't know what happened.  I am not a religious fanatic (obviously but I still have MORALS) so I'm not gonna be like "y'all need Jesus" but...ya know what "y'all need Jesus!" Or at least what he represented.  Some sort of moral compass.  Love thy neighbor.  Don't take what isn't yours.  Quit MURDERING people...which if we are being truthful that kind of goes along with the "don't take what isn't yours" thing.  Their LIFE isn't yours to take!!!!!!!

Why can't people cope with their life without enacting harm on another person?!?!  It's like an epidemic!  Life is hard, I know this.  I have stupid crap happen all the time.  Look rejection sucks...but...Rejection.is.normal.  Rejection is a healthy part of life.  Rejection makes you strive harder.  Rejection makes you better yourself so that next time you get what ever it was. 

You will not always make the team. 
You will not always get the job. 
You will not always get the promotion. 
You will not always get the girl/guy. 
You will not always GET WHAT YOU WANT. 

That doesn't mean that you now have the right to harm another person because you were rejected.

Maybe its because I am older but I really feel like the world has become an absolute nightmare.  A place where you can hurt someone or take their life just because YOU feel wronged in some way.  More often than not I am hearing about people who take EXTREME measures against others because they didn't get their way.  It is like they never got passed that Toddler Temper Tantrum phase. 

If a girl/guy/company rejects you:

- You do have the right to be upset
- You do have the right to be angry
- You do have the right to throw YOUR things, in YOUR residence
     ***not at another living creature
- You do have the right to question YOUR choices

- You do not have the right to physically attack anyone
     ***which also means not MURDERING them whether by your hand or a hired one
- You do not have the right to stalk - This includes but is not limited to:
    - Showing up at their work
    - Showing up at their home
    - Showing up when they are out with friends/family
- You do not have the right to harass them
- You do not have the right to damage their property - This includes but is not limited to:
    - Slashing their tires
    - Breaking their windshields
    - Throwing bricks through windows
- You do not have the right to harass their friends/family
- You do not have the right to harm their pets (there is a special place in hell for you if you do)


Just because you have been "wronged" does NOT give you the right to do anything but move on.  You should NEVER lay hands on another person unless in self defense.

No I wasn't attacked but someone I know lost their CHILD because of a "jealous" ex.   It doesn't matter that this person was an adult...they are still someone's CHILD and their life ended prematurely because someone else couldn't cope with them moving on with THEIR LIFE. 

P.S. This includes when you are a parent.  If your child is rejected, teach them a lesson...don't go bat$hit crazy to "save" their feelings.  You are making it WORSE.

P.P.S. People have differing opinions and lifestyles.  Unless their choices are harming you in some way (which is RARE) you have NO RIGHT to harm them or control them.  Live YOUR life and leave them alone to live THEIR life. 

And that's how you realize you should have just stayed in bed

To say it has been a rough week is an absolute under statement.  Work is work is work.  Its been a rough week but whatever.  Add in crazy psycho weather with a dash of tornadoes and it gets worse.  Compound that with stupid f**king animal that decides the best way to remove an annoying growth is to chew it off and you start wondering what divinity you pissed off.

So work sucks.  Weather sucks.  House looks like a murder scene and now dog needs surgery...SUCKS!  But I was coping.  Then I got to work today and went to use the facilities.  I almost started crying...almost.  Instead I started laughing hysterically and couldn't stop.  We are talking full blown gut aching laughter complete with silent laugh and clapping.  God help me I have lost it.

Why, is probably the question you are asking. Why would I lose it laughing in the ladies room of all places.  And no it isn't anything gross.  You see we recently moved, right?  Well in the move we went from the Taj Mahal to Taj Mah-what the f**k.  Meaning the place we moved into was a bit below our normal standards.  Everything is "cheap".  I am not being snobby, you can do cheap and still have nice.  This is cheap...like falling apart cheap or non-functional cheap.

Side Note - There were SPIDERS in my office!  I do not fear spiders but I do not like them hanging out above me watching me work!!!  I've heard of an angel on your shoulder but a spider...no thank you!  And...AND there were mouse traps everywhere!!!  What kind of dirty @$$ people worked here?!?!?!?

One of the cheap items is a toilet paper holder in the ladies room. This is no ordinary holder.  My holders at home are nothing fancy...BUT THEY WORK.  This was one of those ones that only has the two arms that "grip" the TP, without the spring loaded tube in the middle.  The problem is this one is jacked up and doesn't grip correctly.  Meaning when you tried to get TP it either gave you one square at a time or wouldn't move or would come lose causing you to spastically catch it while trying to maintain your dignity on the porcelain throne.

Well today this POS TP holder sent me to the edge of sanity.  I reached for the TP and pulled.  The TP popped off the holder and rolled 4 feet away from me.  So there I was...jeans around the ankles with one square of TP as I watched the roll, keep on rolling out of my reach. Before waddle walking with my jeans around my ankles, I just busted out laughing.

I could have cried in frustration but instead I giggled...and giggled...and giggled...and snorted.  So much so that when I finally made it out the bathroom our janitor was like "jew okay...? *sideways stare*" *sigh* Si senor, I'm okay.

Sometimes I want to fake an accent so people don't know where I am from...is that weird???

That sounds terrible...and I really am proud of my heritage BUT when traveling in other countries it becomes PAINFULLY obvious that I am not the norm for Americans.  I am not exaggerating.  We were out of the country recently and were told more than once by Europeans and citizens of the country we visited that we did not seem American.  Not because of our look...because of our attitudes. 

While I am fully aware the rest of the world basically laughs at us (come on we are a nutty/spoiled bunch), I guess I didn't really grasp why.  And yes I know every country has its crazies or rude people or @$$holes but I am not really talking about that.  Our citizens are just different and I am fairly different from many of my fellow citizens.  For instance, I have zero desire to go bankrupt buying designer things or live in a over-sized house, in a neighborhood I can't afford or have a car I can't make payments for without cutting back on things like food...I think you get the picture.  I always felt like I was weird because this stuff didn't matter to me but now I am realizing I am better for it.  And I don't mean people that can afford it...I mean people like me who live semi-comfortably but probably shouldn't blow $600 on a f**king purse when they aren't able to buy necessities...can you eat that purse? No.  That material stuff doesn't matter to me, it doesn't tell me you are of higher stature...it tells me you don't understand the value of money.  I'd rather spend my extra money and time, traveling the world but that is just me...more power to you if that material item gives you the joy and memories I have from visiting other countries.  I am not being a travel "snob".  I've had friends & family ask how we can afford to travel so much...they WANT to travel but they can't think beyond the purchase of (insert unnecessary EXPENSIVE item). 

Moving on, why do I say this...because when I travel outside the US and see Americans who do manage to travel, I cringe.  It is clear many have zero appreciation for other cultures and expect everyone to bend to their needs and wants.  "I am important because I am me", um no...you aren't really that important, you are just another person in a sea of people.  Yea they may travel there because it is "exotic" but they don't attempt to learn, understand, or respect these places.  It isn't all of us, obviously, but it is a frightening majority.  When I go to a foreign country, I want to be a part of it.  I learn key phrases in their language or learn their terminology (we all know words mean different things in other English speaking countries, WTF is a nappy?!?! I know now but I had to look it up).  It just hurts my head when I see others from my nation being disrespectful to locals (or other guests) because of a language barrier.  Sorry honey, you are in THEIR country...they may not know English well but at least they are trying.  I don't hear you trying to speak in their language.  Or b**ching because they don't have some American food/drink.  Who cares?!?! You are in a foreign country...try something new!  My favorite was "you know you talk funny right?!?" said to a British person in a immensely disrespectful way.  Yea well you "talk funny" to them also and that's not even proper English!!! Just saying!  Stop being a tw@t! 

Side note - control your spawn...no one wants to hear lil Johnny screaming his brains out (at the infantile age of 10) because the resort has Pepsi and not Coke and then hearing you yell at him to shut up, arguing with him instead of putting your foot down and then giving in and saying you'll buy the f**king $2.50 small BOTTLED Coke in the gift shop that isn't part of the all inclusive you clearly spent A LOT of money on.  Give him a water, its better for him anyway. 

My point is I've noticed I can scan a room of hundreds of people and pick out the Americans mostly because they are the ones being ignorant and rude.  Not all...for instance, there was this older retired couple who were just adorable and friendly and kind, we want to be like them when we grow up!  Clearly there are others like us but we seem to be few and far between.  At least where I was recently those rude/ignorant are the types of Americans we saw...  Which is probably why when making friends with a British couple they were shocked when we spoke because we didn't act like the other @$$es at the resort. 

Side Side Note - I've been told in my miniscule travels that the locals appreciate it when you attempt to communicate in their language.  It might not be perfect but it's a show of respect...something many in our country seem to be lacking these days. 

Stop being an @$$hole *drops mic*

This is a RANT, I just have to get this out before I explode....you have been warned.

No but really, I don't understand the need to be a prick just for the sake of being a prick.  I get that we all have bad days but lately I have been witness to ADULTS treating children, their adult kids, other adults, etc poorly and then blaming it on something else (that happened a LOOOONG time ago).  What is sad...this is more than one adult.  Having one do any of this is bad enough but I've been exposed to THREE!

I try to remove myself from drama, its why I live 30+ min away from everyone.  I could move closer but every time I consider it, BS like this happens and I am like, I don't need this crap.  As much as I try to be drama free I get sucked into it from time to time.  The difference between myself and others that were sucked in is I am going to give you options on how to fix it.  If you have been b**ching about the SAME THING for the last 'x' number of years I am going to get real with you and tell you it is time to STOP!  If you are using something that happened more than 5 minutes ago as an excuse to be a twat to everyone, I am going to loud cap you next time you say something in front of me.  Not because I am an @$$hole...because I am going to protect the people I care about from your toxic behavior since I have now been dragged into this nonsense.  But you won't say that in front of me because you only ever do this in small groups and I am never "alone" with you.  You are a coward...you attack women when no one else is around to defend them or hear how f**ked up you actually are. 

Let me reiterate that I hate when people take out their aggressions on others.  I am sorry that your life went to $hit but 99% of the time the person you are ripping apart had nothing to do with that and you are just pouring your anger into them because they are there.  NOT COOL!  Ever!  If it happens once, I will forgive it but if it happens repeatedly with the same person(s), you my dear are a bully and I have lost respect for you.  When my little one calls me crying because you verbally abused them, I see red and sorry but once that happens it will be very hard for me to forget.  I am the type that I take $hit up until a point but once I am past it, I am done.  So let me say that if a person knows certain things bother one of my littles and they continue to use those things to purposefully hurt them, I am going to expose their shenanigans to everyone.  Using the 'n' word and the 'f' word (not f**k) to describe anyone is 100% NEVER acceptable.  And if those words make someone uncomfortable you do not have the right to call them a 'n' lover or 'f' hag.  WTF is wrong with you?!?!?!  That is bigotry at its finest.  "If you don't look like me or think like me, you are not as good as me." It is 2015 STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On another note...just because you have a d**k doesn't mean you are better than me (a person sans d**k).  It drives me spare when "men" dismiss me or my littles because we are women.  My "littles" are adults, just younger than myself, FYI. And when I hear about one of our trusted "men" trying to control them or belittle them, I want to punch things.  Mainly things between their legs because god I just want to cause them pain at this point (I know, I know bad but I wont actually do it because I am a sane individual).  It kills me further when other "adults" (including other females!!!) feed these men's aggression by agreeing with them and ostracizing myself and my littles based on what a twat booger said.  Group think at its finest.  This is where I come in.  This is where we have a "come to Jesus" talk because I am 1000% done with this bull$hit.  Abuse is not just physical hands on a person.  It is verbal, mental, emotional.  If you purposefully cause HARM to another person just for the f**k of it, that is abuse!

It is not okay to call me or anyone else "names" like c**t, etc because we don't agree with you.  So a woman hurt you (and in a couple of these cases, she did, I get that, she was a royal B) BUT that does NOT give you free reign to attack all females around you.  Also, it happened years ago.  It is time to move on.  You can't blame your anger towards us on that anymore.  You have had more than a decade (in some cases THREE decades) to fix this, yet we still hear the same broken record excuse every time, "You can't get mad at him.  Think of what he's been through." NO!  I don't f**king care anymore.  Just because they had a bad run a few years ago doesn't give them the right to flip out on other people or try to control them.  You don't get to tell me (or anyone else) what to do or how to feel, sorry (not sorry). If you want to wallow in angry self pity fine but leave us out of it!

The "definition" of crazy is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different outcome.  If someone TRULY wanted to move passed all this nonsense they would have done it by now.  This extended DRAMA is 100% their own creation and I do NOT feel sorry for them anymore.  How do you live like that?!?!  It can't be good for you to harbor so much anger and aggression for THAT long.  I feel sorry for (empathize with) people of course but you have to fix things for yourself.  YOU have to break the cycle.  If you don't it just keeps happening over and over and over.

I guess some people feed off of drama.  They thrive on it.  I despise it. If I have a problem, I fix it, if I can't fix it, I stop b**ching about it until I can fix it.  It does me no good to dwell on things that are out of my control and I sure as hell wont continually attack someone else because my life is in the $hitter.

And yes I would say this and have said some of this face to face.

Rant Over.

Side Note: If you threaten my fur babies I will become defensive...you do NOT threaten them...EVER...if you hurt my fur babies...I can't express what will happen to you but it won't be pleasant.  It might involve paper cuts, salt, and lemon juice. 

Is this a thing?!?! Why is this a thing?!?! Who needs rainbow eyeliner?!?! Wait, I need that but I won't do this....

You know in grammar school when they tell you not to eat glue and/or crayons...it is because those things, while nontoxic, were not meant for continuous human consumption.  Right...RIGHT!?!?!

So I would assume the same applies to things like not using Colored Pencils as eyeliner.  You know because although they are nontoxic, they also aren't up to code with the makeup code enforcer peeps standards for cosmetics. 

With that said...why is this a thing?!?!  Made so popular by YouTube makeup hackers that Crayola had to issue a statement about why its a bad idea.  I just can't understand.  I don't think I would ever be like "Hey, I really like this shade of pencil, let me put it on my lash line." 

This is the article from Cosmo. As B97 said..."Who needs to be told this?????"


Makeup goes through a fairly rigorous trial before being released to the public.  Things are added to it to prevent bacteria from growing on it and it is made so that it WON'T irritate most skin types.  So why would you think that something, albeit nontoxic, that isn't meant for skin use be okay to be used as makeup...?  That might not make sense, I am flabbergasted and having issues forming proper sentences. 

Seriously though, what's next?!?  "Hey don't want to spend $8 on a new liquid eyeliner, just use a Sharpie, I mean it's nontoxic so it's safe...right?"  And I mean you know it will last, how long does it take you to scrub sharpie off your hands? Don't mind that weird smell that makes your eyes burn, that is normal.  I just...wow!

Also, Wet n Wild, NYC, Nyx...those are cheap enough ($0.99, $2)  MAKEUP brands that are sold at most Drugstores and have a plethora of colors available!

My favorite quote from the article, "It's like how you can eat a jalapeño pepper, but you wouldn't want to put it in your eye." ~ Dr. Mark Jacquot, O.D., clinical director at LensCrafters

At least most of B97's followers agree with us...bad idea!

Why do you care so much?!?!?

Okay time to be serious for a second.  So I have this "friend" on Facebook.  I put friend in quotes because although we were kinda tight in school we have drifted apart and based on recent posts they are insane now.

Excuse me while I become a broken record but like I've said before EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion(s).  You can have them all day long but once your start forcing your beliefs/opinion(s) on others that NEGATIVELY affects them I want to cover you in paper cuts, roll you in salt and throw you into a pool of lemon juice.

You can be religious, that is fine.  If your religion says that being homosexual is wrong, fine (I guess).  I loosely (key word) follow the same religion but I have a very, very different belief.  These people are just like you and me.  They are human and sorry to burst your bubble but they were also made in God's image so to say.  Some immensely religious people from our youth are gay and that is OKAY!  They were brought up just like us, you can't tell me they were suddenly "corrupted by Satan" or whatever nonsense you have been blabbing all over the inter-webs.  You want freedom of Religion, freedom of speech, just FREEDOM to be you but you don't want these people to have the same?  Why?!?!?! Because they are different?  If you didn't know their preference would you still treat them like they have a horrible disease?  No you wouldn't...so why does it matter to you?!?!?!

How does a gay couple getting married affect you exactly?!?!?!  Because they like someone of the same sex they are evil...bad...corrupt and getting married would enhance that somehow????  I know enough people to know that they are 100% the same as us in every aspect except who they are attracted to.  They just want to be happy with who makes them happy...WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH!?!?  Are you scared your children will *gasp* be gay?!?!  And what if they are?  It wont be because they saw two guys kissing...it isn't a freaking lifestyle choice.  If they are attracted to the same sex there is no changing that...it is just who they are so stop trying to change them! I'd be more worried that a serial killer moved in next door.  A gay couple wont murder you in your sleep, they'll probably bring you a bottle of wine and try to be your best friends...ya know like a normal couple because that is all they are, a NORMAL COUPLE.  Stop putting awful things on your Facebook.  You sound like a crazy person!!!

Them: *posts article about "gay marriage" in their area* "OMG, this better get overturned!  They'll start spreading this like the plague!!!"
Me:  *thinking* Did you just compare "gay marriage" to plague??? Are you f**king kidding me?!?!? 


Just note that I'm not associated with them anymore.  A while back I posted something about two of my friends getting married in another state, "OMG (Insert Friend name) and (Insert other friend name) are getting married in (insert state name) today!!!" It was meant to be happy.  I posted the exact same effing thing when my BFF and her husband got married last year.  But on this one, swear to God they commented with "OMG how horrifying!  I can't believe they are doing that to you!!!" Ummmm what?!?  They think just because we knew each other and are both Catholic that my post was meant to be negative.  Why would I TAG them if I was trying to be an @$$????  I responded with "I am happy for them, they are my friends." They responded with "you should know that it is wrong and are guilty by association." Guilty of what?!?!  I ended up deleting the exchange because I didn't want my friends to see it.  I instead messaged them my well wishes.  I am surprised they left me as a friend on FB since I associate with such "heathens", I should have deleted them then but I forgot about them honestly.

Then recently they went on a rant about a transgender child who was wanting to use the girls bathroom because he identifies as female.  They were going bat$hit about him just wanting to peep on the girls and that he was a perv and all this other really awful stuff.  I think they went so far as to say  something about transgender persons being monsters and accepting them would be the "downfall of society" and the beginnings of "Armageddon".  For one she is a CHILD, stop it!  Second, she was asking because she was getting bullied horrifically in the boys bathroom.  There were other things posted about this topic.  One about a female in the army who identified as male and another that happened at a gym.  The army sided with my "friends" beliefs, the gym sided with mine.  Can you picture the comments that happened?!?!?  They were awful...(I finally blocked them).  Mind you I saw these articles on other pages as well but they weren't posted with hatred. 

Seriously the things they said made me want to cry.  Doesn't your religion teach you about acceptance????  Teach you to love EVERYONE???  I seriously don't think Jesus was like "love everyone...except that guy...don't love him, he is different".  I don't see this type of discrimination often because I happen to be "straight" and tend to surround myself with people who think like me. But when I see it I want to build a wall and protect all those who experience this type of hate.  No one deserves to be treated poorly just because they are "different".  That goes for EVERYONE not just who you choose to believe is like you. 

You won!...sort of

This is paraphrased but you get the gist. 

Caller: ...An all expenses paid trip to (insert posh vacay) doesn't that sound wonderful?!?!
Me: Um really??
(mind you I did do one of the "enter to win" things at WWNOLA)
Caller:  Yes, do you have a pen and paper, here are the deets
Me: Uhhhh sure, go ahead.
Caller:  Rattles off the most amazing sounding vacay to Orlando, FL for 5 days.
Me: Huh, cool...
Caller:  It gets better...proceeds to rattle off more amazing vacays that come with this "package"
Me: Ummmm, ooookkkaaaaay
Caller:  Still prattleing on about the 3 additional trips that comes with my winnings
Me: Wow... *thinking* why do I feel like I'm on some infomercial "but wait there's more"
Caller:  Yes wow!  You and 49 other lucky winners.
Me:  *Getting more suspicious* Soooo what's the catch
Caller:  There's no catch, this is a $4,000+ value all yours.  For you and your hubby and two other adults. 
Me: Kaaaaay...
Caller:  All you have to do is pay the processing fees and taxes today and you have 2 years to go on these four luxurious vacations. 
Me:  I, uh, only signed up for the Orlando thing. 
Caller:  but this is all free!
Me: Processing fees aren't "free". Although I would expect to pay taxes
Caller: But listen...get this its only $349
Me: Okay not that bad...
Caller: Per person
Me: What?!?  Isn't this a vacation for four?!?!
Caller: But you only pay for two people the other two are free
Me: Um $700 today...who are you again?
Caller: (insert name of travel agency) Is the money the only thing holding you back?
Me: Y...eee...ssss *thinking* that and I don't normally give my CC out to random people that call me over the phone.... oh and this doesn't seem like that GREAT of a deal
Caller: Hold on let me see if I can get a better rate *puts me on hold*
Me: It sounds waaaaaay too good to be true.  Eff this *hangs up*

Did I miss out on 4 GREAT vacations.  Possibly.  But we have to be able to use them in two years time and we have to pay our way to get there so all expenses paid is not quite right...maybe I miss heard her.  Maybe she didn't say that and I inserted it but I don't think I did.  Yea Orlando hotel and theme park tix paid (well, actually, we can buy them at BOGO) but I have to fly or drive to get there.  A trip to Miami...I love Miami but I have to get there.  And only the hotel is paid for.  Cruise sounds wonderful but it leaves out of Miami (again flying issue) and you get no extra moula so you have to pay for everything else.  Trip to Vegas, again REALLY?!!?!?

So this deal sounds more like hey we'll pay for your hotel if you figure out your own passage, pay for your own food, etc but we would really like a good review/recoomendation from you in return. 

NOTHING IS FREE PEOPLE!  Like I said, I expect to pay taxes on contests that are won but really?!?   Plane tickets alone are $200+ per person unless you get an awesome deal on Southwest.  Food...omg...food is ridiculous!  For two people to eat out everyday for at least two meals...even going cheap cheap, it's no less than $75 per day (and that is chain restaurants and no alcohol).  Plus a rental or cab fare to get around.  And if you are in Miami or Vegas you are going to want to go out to a club/bar at least once which I can tell you first hand isn't cheap!  For Vegas you get $100 spend how you want card (usable at casinos).  I can tell you that $100 will get you 1 and a 1/2 buffets (maybe) if you use it for food.  Basically I am saying it wont go very far.

So all in all they wanted me to pay them $700 but each trip would cost us an extra $1,250 (I mean BARE MINIMUM).  In reality it would be way more.  Actually it would be more for the Orlando trip because it doesn't include the park passes.  It is 4 trips...that is $5,000+ over TWO YEARS!  Plus the $700 I have to pay upfront.  In what way does this sound like a good deal?!?!?  For $2,000 I can fly both of us to Orlando, stay on the Disney grounds, get two 5 day hopper passes and probably meal plans (those changed recently so I am not sure).  Oh an transportation is included unless you need to leave the grounds....

Stop being attractive!

Okay, maybe don't stop completely.  But stop a little...or stop being charming.  You can't be both of those and crazy talented that just isn't fair. 

I am an adult, I should not have a celebrity crush but I so do.  It's stupid really but *argh* I want to vomit rainbows every time I see something about them.  Anyone else over the age of 13 have this problem?!?!  I feel like I am regressing to prepubescent times.  Ya know where you write "I love __(insert name of stupidly attractive famous person)___" on your paper bag text book cover and then draw a giant heart around it.  I mean I am not that ridiculous (I think he's hot I am NOT obsessive). 

What's also annoying is he is quite talented.  I've watched many things he's been in and most are decent. Even the horrible ones are watchable...or maybe I am being nice.  Who knows.  I feel like a weirdo though.  It's like "oh so and so is in __________.  Lets record it and watch it later because reasons."

Anyways,  I keep thinking this silly crush will pass and it totally doesn't.  Then I see people doing creepy things to said person (jfc some people are MENTAL!) and I am like "OMG being famous sucks!" Then I think "thank god I'm normal.  If I ever met so and so I'd probably just smile like and idiot and not be able to form a proper sentence." Weeeeeeeeeeell not really.  I've met famous persons before and while I was nervous, I was fairly normal and I have a feeling even if I met someone I thought was stupid attractive, I'd still be semi-normal.  Because well that's just me, I'm not big on making a scene or a fool of myself, so yea. 

Moving on, I read something recently about said person and an experience they had with fans...not sure if it was a recent experience or what but it was something.  Can I just say, people are seriously out of control.  He is MARRIED!  I mean happily married as far as anyone knows and she is adorable and people do these things and I cringe because I feel so bad for them.  And as badly as I would like to meet some celebrities, I just don't think I could stand being in a crowd that is that bat-shit crazy.  It's like some people cannot see the line between fantasy and reality.  Okay so you think their character and another character on whatever show/movie should be together.  Whatever that is fine but please understand they are NOT actually those characters.  They are a real person, with a real life, and a real family.  QUIT BEING UBER-CREEPY!  You are making all fans look like loonies.

So instead I will settle for checking Tumblr (stop laughing) and giggle at how silly it is to be a happily married adult and have a crush.   At least he is older than me.  It would be wrong on so many levels if I had a crush on someone younger and by younger I mean like early 20's.