I answer to no one!

I am nice.  The nice one.  Non confrontational. Generally level headed.  While I will not be a doormat, I pick my battles so to say. 

With that said most of the time I choose not to respond to dickheadery.  Most of the time I will just roll my eyes and ignore when people are clearly trying to pick a fight or being pig headed. 

The problem occurs when you push me too f**king far or catch me at a bad time.  The problem is I don't have to explain myself to ANYONE.  The problem is if you come at me aggressively because you think you are entitled to know where I am and who I am with. 

My husband is literally the only person who is entitled to that information and he NEVER pulls any cards on me.  Plus we tell each other our plans if we aren't going to be together.  Its a non-issue. 

A week or so ago I had a person we'll just say is close to me send me a very aggressive text.  It was after midnight, after an evening of fun.  When I say aggressive, I mean it was all CAPS, a paragraph of anger accusing me of basically being a hypocrite because I went out after not going out earlier in the week.  

I responded calmly at first. Then they doubled down and I kinda snapped.  I am sorry but you do not get to monopolize what I do and who I am with.  So I said so much as kindly as I could but it wasn't my normal niceness or my normal laissez faire attitude.  

Now I am the bad guy.  How does that make sense?!?!?  I am getting the silent treatment.  They are telling everyone they can how I am being a b**ch.  How I attacked them.  I am the bad guy because I finally had enough of the badgering because I dared to do something without their knowledge.   So I am trying to pretend I am oblivious to this because I don't want to give it legs to run on.  But its hella hard because I really want to call them out but I wont.  I wont because that is what they want.  So instead I will kill them with kindness and move on.  

I HATE DRAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crying wolf is not okay

Why do people think this is okay?  You can’t cry wolf for every little thing!!!  Don’t you know the story??? Basically,  Kid screams wolf all the time when there isn’t a wolf. People become numb to it and when there actually is a f**king wolf, no one believes him!

Not everything is an emergency.  How the hell am I supposed to know when it’s real or not?!  I hate hate hate games.  I hate wasting my time on stupid $hit. I hate looking crazy because you are crazy!

If you tell me an animal hasn’t eaten in 24-48 hrs and isn’t moving much, I’m jumping into action.  I’m looking for vets.  I’m looking for best possible routes.  I’m looking for a solution!  So when you say “oh just kidding he’s walking around now” I am going to be an @$$hole to you.  Do not be shocked by this!

I’ve just wasted an hour...MY LUNCH HOUR... trying to help you and it was all because...why?  You made it sound like the thing was on its death bed and I am over here wondering wtf you are doing calling me!  So yea, I’m mad.  Yea I’m pissy.  Yea I am being a b**ch.  Next time I won’t jump to help.  And next time it could be serious.

Why am I the f**king only adult here?!?  You are 30 yrs my senior, quit acting like a spoiled clueless damsel in distress.  Put your big girl panties on and use the small computer in your pocket and do something!!!

I’m done.  I hate people.  I’m going back to work.

Some people wonder how others can hate the holidays...because drama...plain and simple. Its f**king Christmas people, can't you just be happy...for once?

This is a RANT, feel free to not read...

I'm really trying hard not to be judge-y but as I get older I notice more things that I used to...I guess ignore.  I used to let people (family mostly) get away with the rude or nosy or inappropriate comments but lately it seems to bug me...A LOT.

For instance on Christmas I was wishing someone Merry Christmas.  They asked "so what did you get from your husband?" I told them (very excitedly).  I expected:

"Oh that's so cool!" 
"Oh wow, I've been wanting one of those"
"How do you like it so far"

Something of that nature...said with enthusiasm. 

Instead I got "Did you even want that?".  I...um....what?!?  "Did you ask for THAT?" *Said in the most serious tone*  

What on Earth...why does that matter?!?  If you must know I didn't "ask" for anything.  So I just said "uh...yea...I mean yea I want it." 

The response...."oh, just checking because you've never mentioned it and I didn't know he was going to get you one.  Did you give him something equally expensive?" 

I'm sorry...what?!?!  That is not... wow!  So what YOU were going to get it for me...?  I highly doubt that.  Or do you think he spent to much on little old me?  Am I not deserving of such a 'lavish' gift...from my HUSBAND? I just found this extremely rude.  That is rude...right?  Is this some sort of jealousy?  I'm being serious...because I honestly have no idea what to think.   And no it was not his family or a friend...it was MY FAMILY. 

So to answer the "why don't you come around as much?" question...this is f**king why!  This is why NONE OF US come around as much.  I'm still shocked 3 out of 4 of us turned out semi-normal.  Keep your drama...we had enough of it growing up.  *geesh*

Well that's a new "insult"...

Sooooooa big pet peeve of mine is unnecessary nosiness. I am not talking about my friends/family grilling me about whatever.  I am talking about when people ask pointless, irrelevant questions and then use the answers to cause drama.

Since I am now aware of the BS questions, I call people out on them.  Not meanly but I say SOMETHING. 

For example:
A friend surprised us and came in town.  Few people knew about it.  She rode with one of the peeps that knew and surprised the rest of us.  I told someone about this happenstance.  But I left out who she arrived with, opting to just say "she surprised us by coming in and only Person A and Person B knew. "   The response wasn't "oh why was she in town?"  or "where is she staying?"  or anything that a normal f**king person would ask.  No the ONLY question asked was "Who'd she ride with?"  Ummmmmm why the f**k is that relevant?!?!?

But I knew why!  Because that was going to be used as a drama starting thing about why she rode with one versus the other and why no one else knew, even though I said "it was a surprise".  So I said "Hmmmmm what an odd question...she rode with Person B".

This opened up a CAN OF CRAZY. 

Them: Why is my question odd. It is a normal question?
 
Me: Well it doesn’t really matter to the story who she came with so i wasn’t sure why you were asking hence the “odd question”. 

Them: Why is it you are always picky with anything I say . I am afraid to say anything!!!!! Your ____ & family did that to me and s lot of people thought they were so rude. Why can't you just answer the question and not always finding fault with what I say or ask. You sounds like Hil Clinton.

Like Hil Clinton....uuuuummmmm.  I stopped replying...and not to be a complete $hit but I DID answer the stupid question...just saying *rolling eyes*.  Clearly I hit a nerve......ooops

So you are going to "punish" me for that?!?!

People can be REALLY self-centered.  Just because you don't drop everything to accommodate them, they get angry. I don't like games...I don't fall for guilt trips...I don't like drama!

Person: I know its only 24 hour notice but can you come over tomorrow to celebrate (insert YOUR life achievement)?
Me:  Sorry, can't. We wont be available tomorrow
Person: Why?
Me:  Um well we have plans.  
Person: What is more important than celebrating your (Insert the thing).
Me:  We are going to (Insert a REALLY fun thing) and have had tickets for over a month.
Person: Okay, what about the next day?
Me:  We aren't available until later in the evening
Person: What?  Why?
Me:  Husband has work
Person: *said very snidely* I thought he wasn't going to have to work as much on the weekends
Me:  He doesn't...he has a schedule...if I had more than a 48 hour notice we could have figured something out.  What about the day after that?
Person: Oh we have plans.  Guess we will just celebrate YOUR (Insert the thing) without you.
Me: Okay if you must

I don't do well with games.  Look, I am sorry I have a life and whatnot but if you give me more than a 24 hour notice we can probably figure something out.   And yes I know it has been a CRAZY couple of weeks.  But why be a jerk about it?!?!  We are busy and if you are going to be an @$$ I don't want to go anyway *raspberry*. 

When you get to a certain age, the bitterness fairy descends upon you and makes you a horrible person!

That may sound mean and generalizing but lately it seems true.  Or maybe my family/extended family are a bunch of @$$holes that once we turn 60, feel the need to unleash the bottled up fury on unsuspecting persons. 

And by unsuspecting persons I mean me.  Now most of it wasn't directed at me so to say but the things I was told made me cringe.  Examples below (there was so much more but I wont bore you).

Old Person:, knows fully well I am working out, trying to lose some inches.  They say "Oh you've gained weight.  I mean look at your calves, they are at least twice the size they used to be.  Won't working out just make them bigger?  They shouldn't get bigger, then you'd look like a dyke"
Me: *stunned stare* A...a...a what?  That's not very nice and a wildly inappropriate term and no they are not twice their size nor will they get "bigger" *geesh*

Old Person: That "woman" *said with utter disdain* steals his money.  She's a golddigger, she NEVER wanted anything more than his money.  She came from nothing and leeches off of him.
Me: *developing a migraine* Are you sure?  I don't think that is accurate...they've been married for 20+ years and I distinctly remember her having a job and owning a home BEFORE...she was pretty independent. 
Old Person: You are so naive
Me: *screaming in my head* Wow...

Old Person: *speaking of my grandma from the other side of the family* Gertie would never allow that. She tried to control everything.
Me: Huh, you mean Gammie?  My grandmother?
Old Person: I KNOW your grandmother, her name is Gertie not Gammie. 
Me: What are you going on about?  I call her Gammie....
Old Person:  I coulda punched her in the face the first time we met *goes into a more than likely 
UNTRUE telling of a story I've never heard*
Me: Oh for the love of...That was before I was born...I am over 30...why does that even matter?
Old Person:  Because you speak highly of them and they are dirt
Me: *shaking with frustration* Woooooooooooooow....

Me: Look at this adorable picture of Uncle so and so's grand niece!
Old Person: Oh is that "HER" niece's daughter?
Me: Yes...
Old Person:  She's not very pretty
Me: That's ludicrous, she's gorgeous (and she's 6)
Old Person:  No, she isn't.  She is homely...ugly even
Me: That is an awful thing to say about a child!
Old Person:  She's not my family, doesn't matter
Me: *beating head on table* 

Old Person: Her husband is an alcoholic and has a gambling problem
Me: What? *getting concerned*  No he doesn't she would have told me if something was wrong.
Old Person:  He does.  He spends all their money and leaves nothing for her and the kids
Me: He works TWO jobs, that doesn't make any sense and he LOVES his kids AND wife
Old Person: He's not good enough for her.  He's a bad provider, you are so naive
Me: *jfc* Please don't spread that rumor...I don't think ANY of that is true.

Old Person:  Who was at the holiday dinner?
Me: Oh, the usual suspects.  Me, hubs, my brothers, their wives and kids.
Old Person: Step
Me: Huh? 
Old Person:  They are NOT your brothers.
Me: Um, yes they are
Old Person:  You have no relation to them except your father is married to THAT woman.
Me: *losing my cool* OMG! Look, "family don't end with blood", alright...and they've been married for almost 25 years!!!!

I just hate the anger, the rudeness, the BITTERNESS!  You have got to let some things go!  Just shoot me if I ever go down this path.  This is NO WAY to live.  Who wants to be in their golden years and absolutely HATE everyone.  Who the f**k holds onto grudges for over 20 years...30 years in some cases.  That CANNOT be good for your metal state.   Also, don't sit there and claim to be all religious.  You are NOT living like God taught us or whatever.  You covet your "neighbors" belongings, you hate everyone, you LIE all the time...you are NOT a good person, you are toxic and you just justified why I rarely visit!

Will I go back...yes, I have to because family and whatnot...do I want to...not really....will it be often...nope.

On a completely unrelated note - One of these persons is also a borderline hoarder...I swear I break out in hives every time I visit.  Who the f**k needs 8 boxes of creamer and 6 cases of cereal???  And no its not for a huge family...TWO PEOPLE...TWO!

Why do you care so much?!?!?

Okay time to be serious for a second.  So I have this "friend" on Facebook.  I put friend in quotes because although we were kinda tight in school we have drifted apart and based on recent posts they are insane now.

Excuse me while I become a broken record but like I've said before EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion(s).  You can have them all day long but once your start forcing your beliefs/opinion(s) on others that NEGATIVELY affects them I want to cover you in paper cuts, roll you in salt and throw you into a pool of lemon juice.

You can be religious, that is fine.  If your religion says that being homosexual is wrong, fine (I guess).  I loosely (key word) follow the same religion but I have a very, very different belief.  These people are just like you and me.  They are human and sorry to burst your bubble but they were also made in God's image so to say.  Some immensely religious people from our youth are gay and that is OKAY!  They were brought up just like us, you can't tell me they were suddenly "corrupted by Satan" or whatever nonsense you have been blabbing all over the inter-webs.  You want freedom of Religion, freedom of speech, just FREEDOM to be you but you don't want these people to have the same?  Why?!?!?! Because they are different?  If you didn't know their preference would you still treat them like they have a horrible disease?  No you wouldn't...so why does it matter to you?!?!?!

How does a gay couple getting married affect you exactly?!?!?!  Because they like someone of the same sex they are evil...bad...corrupt and getting married would enhance that somehow????  I know enough people to know that they are 100% the same as us in every aspect except who they are attracted to.  They just want to be happy with who makes them happy...WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH!?!?  Are you scared your children will *gasp* be gay?!?!  And what if they are?  It wont be because they saw two guys kissing...it isn't a freaking lifestyle choice.  If they are attracted to the same sex there is no changing that...it is just who they are so stop trying to change them! I'd be more worried that a serial killer moved in next door.  A gay couple wont murder you in your sleep, they'll probably bring you a bottle of wine and try to be your best friends...ya know like a normal couple because that is all they are, a NORMAL COUPLE.  Stop putting awful things on your Facebook.  You sound like a crazy person!!!

Them: *posts article about "gay marriage" in their area* "OMG, this better get overturned!  They'll start spreading this like the plague!!!"
Me:  *thinking* Did you just compare "gay marriage" to plague??? Are you f**king kidding me?!?!? 


Just note that I'm not associated with them anymore.  A while back I posted something about two of my friends getting married in another state, "OMG (Insert Friend name) and (Insert other friend name) are getting married in (insert state name) today!!!" It was meant to be happy.  I posted the exact same effing thing when my BFF and her husband got married last year.  But on this one, swear to God they commented with "OMG how horrifying!  I can't believe they are doing that to you!!!" Ummmm what?!?  They think just because we knew each other and are both Catholic that my post was meant to be negative.  Why would I TAG them if I was trying to be an @$$????  I responded with "I am happy for them, they are my friends." They responded with "you should know that it is wrong and are guilty by association." Guilty of what?!?!  I ended up deleting the exchange because I didn't want my friends to see it.  I instead messaged them my well wishes.  I am surprised they left me as a friend on FB since I associate with such "heathens", I should have deleted them then but I forgot about them honestly.

Then recently they went on a rant about a transgender child who was wanting to use the girls bathroom because he identifies as female.  They were going bat$hit about him just wanting to peep on the girls and that he was a perv and all this other really awful stuff.  I think they went so far as to say  something about transgender persons being monsters and accepting them would be the "downfall of society" and the beginnings of "Armageddon".  For one she is a CHILD, stop it!  Second, she was asking because she was getting bullied horrifically in the boys bathroom.  There were other things posted about this topic.  One about a female in the army who identified as male and another that happened at a gym.  The army sided with my "friends" beliefs, the gym sided with mine.  Can you picture the comments that happened?!?!?  They were awful...(I finally blocked them).  Mind you I saw these articles on other pages as well but they weren't posted with hatred. 

Seriously the things they said made me want to cry.  Doesn't your religion teach you about acceptance????  Teach you to love EVERYONE???  I seriously don't think Jesus was like "love everyone...except that guy...don't love him, he is different".  I don't see this type of discrimination often because I happen to be "straight" and tend to surround myself with people who think like me. But when I see it I want to build a wall and protect all those who experience this type of hate.  No one deserves to be treated poorly just because they are "different".  That goes for EVERYONE not just who you choose to believe is like you. 

Sure, lets all sign a blood pact and die slowly together!

So there is this smoking ban possibly happening down here...it is causing a very heated debate and I don't quite get what all the hubbub is about.  I do not smoke...never have...well not...not important.  Anyways, I've always HATED IT.  I grew up in a strangely typical 80's household where both parents smoked...inside...with me there...and in the car...with me there.  I didn't realize how much I disliked it until my dad remarried and wasn't allowed to smoke indoors.  That is when I started to notice things...like everything I owned smelled like an ashtray.  Dude I was like 10 and started getting paranoid!  This must mean when I go to school...OMG!  Things happened and my mom thoroughly hated my antics until I went to college but that is for another blog post. 


My point is I have a strong dislike for being around smoke so I may be a bit biased.  With that said when I turned 18 (possibly a little before - tee hee hee) I started going out...party all night...come home sweaty and smelling like a pack of ciggys.  Nothing abnormal about that...its just how things were.   Then I started having a skin reaction.  That's right as a blossoming young adult I developed a rather odd allergy.  Whenever I was surrounded by clouds of smoke, even worse in a poorly ventilated area, (be it a club or a house/apt) my eyes would burn almost unbearably and the next day I wouldn't have just normal purple circles under my eyes...they would be bright red and puffy.  The skin would eventually HARDEN, turn scaly (ewwww), and peel off.  "Hmmmm that's odd."  Anyways we discovered I developed an allergy to smoke...go figure.  I dealt with it...what was I going to not go out...are you kidding, I was in college!  I learned to live with it (cortisone creme was my BFF)...then I went to New York and my perception was forever changed.

You see they had recently passed a law there where you couldn't smoke in a restaurant/bar/club/public area/whatever.  Down here we were working on the just banning it in food establishments (which didn't happen until 2007).  It was amazing.  We went back to the hotel after going out and didn't smell like we bathed in an ashtray!  Of course this was short lived as we came home...back to the smokey bars and clubs of the south. 

I have NEVER forgotten that and have always wished something like that would happen down here.  I have so many friends and family that work in the bar/club industry.  Some do smoke but many don't.  It cannot be good for them to be immersed in that much second hand smoke all the time.  So I was ecstatic when there was talk of this ban. But apparently smokers and non-smokers alike who work in the industry are very upset.  Saying that this will be the end of Bourbon Street...it will kill revenue at the casino...people will lose their jobs. 

Look I am not dumb, I am aware the industry will probably take a hit.  People may stop going out to some of these establishments because they cannot smoke inside or whatever.  But isn't this worth it?!?!  Not only a healthier environment for the workers and non-smoking patrons BUT it would encourage others to possibly quit...maybe.  I am sure the markets in NY and CA (among countless other individual counties/cities) took hits when they banned smoking in bars but I am fairly certain they have recovered.   I just don't see a strong enough argument against the ban.  I guess it could affect tourism but I don't believe it will be to the degree that people are screaming.  I may be completely wrong but I don't think people specifically travel here just because they can smoke in our establishments.  There are studies...many many studies showing no adverse affects on businesses caused by smoking bans. I dunno...I know business owners feel like their right to choose is being taken away...I just can't get behind it to continue with everything we know. 

I think all the rigamarole is because people inherently don't like change.  This is something different therefore it is seen as bad.  Look it is 2015, we all know the dangers of smoking and secondhand smoke.  It may not be proven 100% to cause cancer (2nd hand smoke) but it causes a load of other issues.  This is a step in the right direction, not something negative.

P.S.  Yes I think there are other more important things to be concerned about like the increase in crime in the City but this is what they are talking about right now.

**NOTE**- I am not a business owner nor do I work in the industry so I may be missing a huge piece of the puzzle.  

I am totally a time traveler

That is the only explanation.  I have somehow been zapped back into the dark ages.  Or maybe the early 1900's.  Or maybe I am in a totally different universe, as in Game of Thrones.  You know where is is acceptable for men to think they can control women! Even in Game of Thrones they are trying to break that habit (hello, Asha...Cersi...Arya...)!

But alas it is 2014 and I want to punch someone so bad I am shaking!  I wont go into complete details but there was drama.  I mean all out stupid "on Wednesdays we wear pink " type drama (as in High School).  Yet we aren't in High School, much less the movie mean girls so why all the drama?!?!? 

I'll tell you why.  Because someone who happens to have a penis thinks he can tell the rest of us (who don't have that appendage) what we can and cannot do.  And this isn't a boss-man.  A boss-man has the right to BOSS you around some (he signs your paycheck).  No this person isn't any of our bosses, he's not a policeman or anything like that, he just happens to share our bloodline.  Seriously, why should anyone care who I (we) talk to...family is family...why should I not speak to someone because you have a beef with, not them, but their "other" family. So because of that we cannot associate with our family.  I, just...what?! 

Listen up you Lannister wanna be.  You ain't my daddy and you ain't my husband (which in GoT could be one in the same) and even if you were I still wouldn't listen.  You know why?  Because I am a grown ass woman and there is no flipping way I am going to let you tell me (or the other females) what I can and cannot do.  And if I ever here you say "*she* should have known her place" in front of me, holding back a slap will be very difficult.  Granted this phrase wasn't directed at me but another female and I wasn't there when it was said.  But who says that???  That is like the ultimate verbal slap to any female.  It almost as bad as "shhh, the men are talking" or "why don't you go fix me a sandwich".  Ya know what F you, you F-ing, F-er!  I don't care if we are related you will not speak to anyone like that! 

And be glad this isn't GoT, because if it was your ass would have been poisoned by now or shot with an arrow while on the loo by the son you don't really claim. 

Having peen does not give you privileges.  Having no peen does not take away my rights.  Basically being male/female/undecided does not mean others have to bend to your will.  We are all human get over yourself! 

Ugh, I cannot believe this even happened.  The nerve!

I thought you were supposed to mature with age...?

I know we all have our moments of immaturity but I find some people just act like spoiled brats well into adult hood. 

The sad thing is I am not even talking about persons my age (or younger)...I am talking about people who are well passed 50.  I just don't get it.  I get that with age comes a lack of caring what others think but acting like a scorned tween is just beyond annoying. 

I never expected someone older than me to resort to this kind of behavior.  I had to cancel on something last minute.  I was stuck and couldn't get out of a previous engagement that ran over.  Since I couldn't make a call I sent a text apologizing profusely and suggesting they go on without me.  This would entail driving themselves.  I never got a reply.  So when I was leaving my prior engagement I called.  No answer.  Hmmm, maybe they decided to buck up and drive, cool. 

A few phone calls and texts later I decided they were either dead or ignoring me.  I was leaning towards the latter.  So I sent a text requesting them to acknowledge they were indeed alive and *ding* got a response.  Ahhhhh, I see now.  So we ARE in fact ignoring me.  It has been 4 days and still no conversation...nada.  I guess we are still mad.  I don't get it.  Yes, of course I was upset I missed the event but I had no choice unless I left in the middle of something else and that is just rude.  The person hosting the event I missed was not angry.  She totally understood and we made plans to meet up at a later date.  Yet my temper tantrum throwing adult is still immensely upset with me.  Sorry but I am not sorry.  Okay, I am sorry I missed the other event but I am not sorry that you missed it.  You could have gone without me.  Don't be mad at me because you chose not to drive someplace you were not 100% familiar with.  I do it all the time, grow up.  Print a map...or something.  I was being nice agreeing to rush from the other event to meet you someplace to pick you up so you wouldn't have to stress about driving but it is not my responsibility to make sure you have a ride when you are perfectly capable of driving yourself.    I had plans already...plans you knew about...plans that I said before hand may prevent me from making it to the other event and you chose to ignore me.

Being angry with me the day of is one thing but ignoring my calls and texts for DAYS is a whole other level.  If you cannot be an adult and speak to me and tell me you are upset I am not going to call you anymore.  I will wait until you are ready to be mature, I am not begging for forgiveness.  I apologized, I tried to call and apologize ...now I want an apology for having to deal with this BS but I am not going pursue it.  I refuse to be a part of your drama.  I have better things to do than stress about whether or not you are mad at me because of something so trivial. 

Does anyone else have this issue with an adult(s)?!?  Or am I the only one blessed with this type of person. 

I need to control my facial expressions or maybe others should learn how to be human!

Okay so I've been told since I was a wee wittle one that I am very expressive. I would put on a face to let people know I was not having any of their $hit.  My mom has always said that getting me to smile as a child was sometimes a challenge which cracks me up because these days I am usually all smiles, even when I am not feeling 100%.  I guess I learned that one as I grew up.  You know put on a happy face so no one will ask what is wrong.  Probably not the healthiest way to deal with things but I like to keep stuff to myself so yea.  So I have the open look where you know what I am thinking or I have the closed look where I could be feeling anything but on the outside you'd never know. 

But apparently as I get older my open facial expressions are more telling and more frequent.  So when before I used to wear a "mask" so to say and people didn't really know what I was thinking...today my thoughts are written all over my face.  I can still do the mask if I think about it but its become less of a habit. 

This my friend is a problem!  I work with face to face with clients fairly frequently and when they say dumb things I have to remind myself to not react.  It is almost torture.  Because I want to give the ultimate "bitch please" face but instead I just smile and say, "its not a problem" or whatever. 

So I must remember that my raised eyebrow, deer in the headlights look (its my surprise face but my boss calls it that),  sideways stare, expressionless "are you kidding me" look, eyebrows pulled together while staring people down and fake "hahaha, you are an idiot" laugh should probably be left at home only to be used in my personal life.  Otherwise I risk the chance of getting fussed at for being intolerable, inconsiderate, unprofessional or something of that nature.  I am not trying to be a jerk but other people are rude; unfortunately I work in high level customer service...I wish I could be rude right back but I cannot because then I am the "bad guy". 

But you know what if you say something inappropriate to me be prepared for my bitch face + sarcasm.  Go ahead and report me! My figure/my face/my clothing/my marital status/my whatever have NOTHING to do with why I am meeting with you.  You have no right to make me feel uncomfortable because you can't control your hormones!  That is something no one has to tolerate no matter what their position is. 

Let me clarify, I am not talking about someone saying I look nice today or I like your shoes/skirt/hair...I am talking about the oogy, look you up and down and make a lewd comment people.  Or the people who "get in trouble" for not doing their job so they complain about what you wear because "it is distracting".  Swear to God this happened!  I don't dress "sexy" for work.  I dress professional/trendy.  I am sorry but if you see some shoulder or some collarbone or some kneecap and can't think straight enough to work that is YOUR problem, not mine!  Quit looking at me as a sex object you creep! Yes this still happens.  I know some people try to say that this doesn't happen in the workplace/business setting anymore because of "laws" but I can tell you it most certainly DOES still happen and reporting it isn't easy because it is your word against theirs and honestly unless they are being touchy or aggressive it is not worth it (isn't that awful?!?!?!). 

So I use my bitch face, my sarcasm, my invisible armor and I make a mental note not to be alone with people who make me uncomfortable or I suggest we meet in a more public area instead of their office.  I protect myself because we all know I am the only one who really cares what happens to me.  All I need is another weirdo showing up at my office because they think we are whatever and then yelling at me because I don't return the feelings (yes this also happened...it wasn't a client but my "niceness" bit me in the ass). 

Maybe I should rename my blog, "some people make me feel stabby"

Or start a new one dedicated to the assholes I encounter/hear about on a regular basis.  Its not that everyone I know or run into are jerks, it is just that I keep seeing how horrible people treat each other and it physically pains me. 

Some of it is trivial but ya know sometimes those little things are the things that push us over the edge.   I don't suffer from diagnosed depression or anxiety but I do have moments...honestly I think everyone has moments.  I've learned to control them or overcome them but I have instances where one sentence or one word even can send me into a downward spiral.  It's almost like someone cut the only thing keeping me from falling into an abyss, it truly sucks.  On occasion people say things to me and I have to mentally *whoosa, whoosa* while reminding myself that they aren't trying to upset me it is just a conversation.  But there are some individuals that you can just tell they are saying what they are saying because they know it upsets you.  It is a deliberate attempt to hurt you and I feel these people should have acid sprinkled on their genitals. 

I'm not talking about opinions that I don't agree with, I am talking about just being an uncivilized ass.  Yea I deal with it pretty well most of the time but I know its not that easy for others and my heart goes out to them.  I heard about something recently that reminded me of this.  It's not an extreme case of bullying or anything like that but it is someone who felt the need to be a jerk for the sole purpose of being a jerk, I think.  I don't know where it took place or when (may have been some time ago) but it was at a convention of some sort.  These persons seemed to feel the need to go there just to make the people there feel stupid. I know not everyone likes every show/movie/game/other "nerdy" thing but why degrade other people?

From what I gathered it was them asking why the person likes *insert TV Show/Movie/Game/Whatever* and then when they answered all excited they were made to feel stupid.  I was informed many responded with witty remarks firing right back at the persons but apparently some felt attacked.  As in it ruined the rest of the day for them.  Now this could have all been done out of a need to be silly but possibly they didn't make that clear to the persons they were speaking to.  I don't know, I wish I could see it and make a judgement for myself instead of going off of hearsay.  I know we can't please everyone or mind everyone's feelings but we all should be aware that deliberately goading someone is not kosher. Not everyone has a thick skin.  What if you ended up being a trigger...what if that person was finally feeling accepted and because of your joke went home crying because even in nerd central they weren't safe from attack...? 

Supposedly, these persons were fans of other Sci-Fi and were ambushing people who liked stuff they didn't or something of that nature.  I don't get it...I personally think "nerds" should stick together not tear each other apart.  If you like Star Wars and I like Star Trek, I'm sure we can "argue" all day long about why one is better than the other BUT I'm not going to degrade you because you like a different piece of Sci-Fi than I like (I like both by the way).  People go to Conventions to feel accepted.  Seeing their favorite actors is lagniappe.  They want to be surrounded by others that are die hard fans like them, not to be cut down because they have a different idea of what is "proper" Science Fiction.  That is the beauty of Sci-Fi you can't define it in any particular way.  It is all things nerdy and it is amazing so don't knock your fellow nerds...they get enough of that from non-nerds. 

I am going to give these persons the benefit of the doubt and say they were just having a little fun at the expense of their fellow fanatics and not deliberately trying to be hurtful.  I hope I am correct.  

I guess this can apply to this situation, maybe (among many, many others):

“I would wish that people would accept people for who they are, not be judgmental, allow people to live their lives and enjoy themselves and that would be my wish for people.”
― John Barrowman

Stop hiding behind the internet!

Okay I guess that may seem slightly hypocritical as I complain and talk about many different things here BUT I have never deliberately called someone out on my blog.  I may talk about people but there are no names mentioned, not enough description to figure out who it is and I am not being passive aggressive just telling funny stories for the most part or giving lessons in life based on my experiences. 

What I am talking about here are two specific types of people.  I am talking about the Facebookers who hide behind the fact that they aren't actually face to face with a person and the "anonymous" commenter on Tumblr (or similar type site).   In recent years I have noticed an increase in people wanting to shout their opinions into cyberspace, not caring who they run over in the process.  And ya know what, I really don't care.  Everyone...and I mean EVERYONE is entitled to their own opinions.  Some I agree with or relate to and some I don't but just because I don't agree with their opinion does not mean its wrong or that I can't be friends with you.  It just means I see things a little differently.  So what is an opinion? 

 

"In general, an opinion is a judgment, viewpoint, or statement about matters commonly considered to be subjective, i.e. based on that which is less than absolutely certain, and is the result of emotion or interpretation of facts."

An opinion is not a fact and it is not a law.  It is your own interpretation of a situation.  It does not make you right or wrong...it is a show of your beliefs.   Many will try to change your opinion and that is okay too.  Its like an educational thing.  If I think one way and you explain it to me differently, that may help me see it from your point of view and change or mold my original interpretation of things.  But don't get pissed at me for trying to explain my POV just because it differs from yours.  I am not trying to be an ass...I am expressing my views just like you are...it is an opinion!  If everything offends you then don't broach the subject if you don't want a reply. 

On the interwebs I usually steer clear of potentially heated discussions, mainly because its hard to express your opinion properly when someone can't see your face and things can be taken out of context.  What I've noticed lately is those who feel "slighted" by society, seem to be using Facebook (or other social media) to attack unsuspecting "friends" based on said "friends" opinion on something.  If you don't want to friend someone on Facebook, IGNORE the friend request or delete them.  You don't have to give a reason, just ignore it.  That is how a mature person should handle the situation (at least in my OPINION).  But don't go calling them out in a passive-aggressive Facebook status because you don't agree with something they posted.  Seriously who cares...you clearly aren't friends with this person to begin with...you probably popped up as a suggested friend and they clicked "friend request".  Don't turn it into an internet war where you private message them provoking them and then publicly post their responses for your "friends" to see.  What purpose does that serve?  You post their full name and their idiotic response...so what...you are just as much of an ass for provoking them.  Yea maybe their views are racist or prejudice...I sure as hell don't agree with them BUT what is the purpose of starting the fight to begin with?  My opinion is if you aren't brave enough to say it to someones face don't say it online.  You my friend are hiding behind the internet.  You are an adult, older than I am and you are acting like a "mean girl".  Most people I have seen do this are the kindest people in person and I guarantee you if they saw these people on the street they would be sweet as pie to them or avoid them all together.  And you people that are egging them on are nothing but a bunch of minions.  I bet most of you wouldn't do a thing in person so stop supporting this childish behavior.  And yes I would say this to anyone's face IF and that's a big IF they are brave enough to broach the subject to my face.  Its just I see this back and forth online and it makes it hard for me to accept the kind person I see in person.  It makes me think that is all an act and then I don't want to be friends with you anymore.  Not because of your opinion...because of your seemingly fake/split personality. 

This also goes for the "anonymous" responder.  If you aren't brave enough to respond with your real name/user name then you shouldn't be replying.  You are being a coward and a jerk.  I experienced an example of this the other day on one of these sites.  I made a comment about a character on a TV show.  Nothing that bad just an opinion.  The way the person was acting on the show made me dislike her and think of her as spoiled and bratty.   I received a response from an Anon saying "That's okay you think she is a brat, because we think you are an asshole, Now keep your hate out of this tag! Dickhead."  Wow, okay then.  First of all it wasn't hate exactly, it was an observation.  Second of all I dislike the character but I love the show.  Third I received numerous reblogs and likes on my comment so clearly using the phrase "we think" does not encompass the entire Fandom.  This is not "we think" this is you think.  If you think I am an ass/dickhead, whatever but don't hide behind Anon and don't generalize the entire Fandom.   I didn't respond.  If you can't hate message me off Anon you don't deserve a response.  Granted this wasn't bad but it was annoying.  I saw a better example yesterday.  Someone messaged another user saying "I hope you die".  That is a bit extreme.  The funniest part is the person forgot to put themselves on Anon and freaked out because the user could see who it was and was begging the other person to delete the message because they didn't want anyone to be mad at them.  The user posted the message for everyone to see.  Maybe they were being just as much of an ass by calling them out publicly but I see how they were making a point (similar to the one I am making here).  They were attacked for no reason, they didn't provoke it as far as I could tell.  It was just a hateful person wanting to be a jerk.  This is a perfect example of hiding behind the internet.  They were all "brave" to tell this person to die while they were anonymous and then retracted because they didn't want to be seen as a bad person.  I am almost certain these people are probably much younger (maybe not, who knows) than me but they should learn at a young age that you better be able to back up what you say.  

My point is you can't hide behind the internet forever.  It will catch up to you.  And one day you are going to be a jerk to the wrong person online and they are going to get back at you.  Whether it is online or in person one day Karma is going to bite you in the ass and honestly I am not going to feel sorry for you.  What if the Facebook person gets fired because you provoked them into those responses.  What if one of your "followers" takes revenge on them on your behalf?  How would you feel about that?  What if they were having a bad day and said those things out of anger or if you took their posts out of context?  They are still not politically correct but I am just saying.  How would you like it if someone took something you said out of context and you got hate for it?  Its just messed up and people should realize that.  "If you can't say something nice, say nothing"...or better yet if you must say something, be an adult about it and quit hiding behind the interwebs!

This is my opinion...I hope it wasn't offensive but regardless it is still just an opinion...I'll respect yours if you respect mine. 

Hyp.....per.....vent....il.....a....ting....

*breathe, breathe*

Ok so its not one huge thing but all these little things are starting to make me a certifiable crazy person. Where to start . . .

1. Car issues. If you are confused please go back and read recent posts about my adventures with Chrissy & Mike (fiance's vehicle). We are ok (for now) Shhhh don't say anything too loud, I think she can hear me. . .

2. I'm getting married. . .like soon o_O. Which at the beginning was very smooth and easy. These last few months have tested my patience. I am a VERY laid back person. I usually take others opinions and advice and figure out what I want to do. I'm non- confrontational and if you have a better idea than me, I can accept that. So what I am saying is people aren't used to me having a STRONG opinion. . . much less saying, No. Well its our wedding and we have an idea of how we want things to look and be. Well apparently we are wrong and that's NOT what we want. . . who knew I didn't know what I wanted. Long story short, I pissed off many people by sticking to what I want and not what they want and saying, "no sorry we want ____". My dad is 100% supportive of, "this is our wedding and we can do what we want" (nothing tacky). Just because you like something, doesn't mean it is something I like or picture in my wedding. It doesn't mean its not nice/pretty/a good idea BUT its not ME. I am not preppy (not by any means) so doing anything preppy would not scream NOLA Girl. . . it would seem fake. So I am having a lot of you shouldn't do this, you just CAN'T do that, etc. I had few upturned noses at my color choice for my Bridesmaids. . . its deep purple. . . WTH is wrong with deep purple?! Its not like hot pink or electric blue .. .Anyways in the midst of all my 'decision making' I am pretty sure my nephew was pulled from the wedding and some other important peeps are not participating as much as before (like not coming to events and not having good excuses). The budget got way outta control which I am confused because last I checked we were under so WTH was added????? Its not all my fam either...just saying. Me and my fiance are so NON DRAMATIC so this is really testing our patience.

3. I'm going to Vegas!!!!!!!! For another wedding. . . right before mine. . . which is soooooooooooooo exciting but just means I have that much more to do. Oye Vey.

4. I still haven't sold this STUPID house so I am STILL linked to my ex via this STUPID house. Now I am stressing out because come wedding day new husband is moving in with me come hell or high water and I cannot pin down my ex to explain this to him and why I cannot be tied to him any more!!!!! I was REALLY hoping it would sell before the wedding. But contrary to the media. The housing market still SUCKS! People are making offers. . . but they are offering $10,000 LESS than what I still owe. Sorry I am not taking a loss . . . that is DUMB! So as of today its not sold :( And I know its not just me. I have 4 friends that are selling houses in different areas and none can get a bite. . .so depressing.

5. Job DRAMA! Mine is always drama but its tolerable. . .usually. Its depressing now because a few months back we got rid of 4 people and we had 1/3 of our customers pulled from us because of new laws, etc. So we shrunk and cannot add much new business easily so its scarey. Again contrary to the 'media' the economy is NOT recovering. Business is FAILING, prices are rising and just living costs so much its not even funny. So its constantly in the back of my mind I will show up one day and the doors will be boarded up with a sign that says "out of business". Or that they'll decide I am no longer needed because they need to cut back more. . . I'm so nervous all the time! Then my fiance's job is taking a toll on him. He has a boss that doesn't always take the professional route. I mean he was called an "oversized paperweight" and they keep threatening him . . . and said boss walks in and screams at him in front of everyone . . .insulting his intelligence and just being a bully almost. But he was never really trained on how to do anything so if he's not doing something its because he was not aware that he was supposed to be doing it. Regardless you should NEVER do that. . . its so unprofessional. Plus other people mess up MUCH worse than him but they always target him. . . its almost like they are trying to pin something on him. Its really stressful for him and me because we don't know when the hammer will drop, ya know. Ugh, I hate drama!

So that's my rant. Its nothing huge . . .yet but its enough to stress me the heck out!