We all paid to be here, no need to be a whale vagina

Okay okay its actually getting to the end of festival time because its about to be hella hot. But the last couple weeks have been one of the BIGGEST and most known.

The New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival!!!!!!!!!!

You see this insanity is two weekends.  It brings in HUGE musical acts from around the world and patrons from around the world.  Its INTENSE. But outside of the festival there are always hundreds of concerts all over the city from Tiny venues to the superdome.  Performers are everywhere and fans are ready to attend.  

I've not been to a concert since pre-covid.  I've been to festivals but not a concert (Garth doesn't count, that was a f**king Stadium!!!). 

So I attended a locally popular band who came in for Jazz Fest.  And can I tell you people...are still f**king AWFUL.  You forget how terrible people can be until you are in a crowd. 

We got there early to get a spot upfront (well like 2nd row of peeps, SUPER close).  It's a small venue and honestly there isn't a bad place to stand/sit in the house but we had "VIP" and got in early.  We made friends with everyone around us because we all know at some point you have to pee or get a drink and you want "help" keeping your spot while your partner runs off.  

It wasn't too bad.  Like no throwing elbows.  But right before the main act came on my "new friend" had to go pee so her husband who was a bigger guy was "holding" their spot.  I literally turned my head for two seconds and two chicks jumped in front of him *WTF*.  There wasn't alot of space, they just pushed in.  

So I put my foot out to keep them from standing in front of me because like hell I am giving up my spot when I've been here for 2 hours.  Wifey came back and was WTF??!!?  I pulled her next to me and was like nope you are still here ma'am.  Well then hubs had to pee so I did the RIDICULOUS straddle the area move.  Our "friends" were teasing me but all in good fun.  But Like I am legit 5'1"....my stance is not big.  But I made myself as "BIG" as possible and my new friends helped me keep the space.  OUT OF NO WHERE some chick comes be bopping up from the back.  Now I am 1000% non confrontational but come on.  

She straight up stepped on my foot and I said "No ma'am.  My husband is standing here."  She looked at me like I was crazy but the nice man behind me said "you dont look like her husband, go on git".  She was about to argue and he goes, "look, we've been here all night.  You want front row you get here early, move ON!".  And she left.  I was like OMG thank you!

As I am still straddling (don't think I was being an @$$, I literally was just trying to keep a small space for two persons) some chick stands literally in front of me.  Leans back INTO MY CROTCH and hands her friend (spot stealer #1 that stood in front of the couple next to me) a drink.  

My mouth got the best of me and I said "are you f**king kidding me????"  She is literally twice my size and probably 5'6"-ish, she looked at me like I grew a second head and said "what?".  I said "You are NOT standing there.  I've literally been here for 2 hours and you are straddling my f**king leg!!!"  She said "OMG bish chill, I'm going to the other side of my friend."  I said "cool fine, then move". And she did.  And I 100% know she had zero plans of doing so until I made a scene.  Because if you are moving along you say "omg excuse me just trying to get through".  She just stood on top of me and seemed perfectly comfy resting on my thigh/crotch.  There was ZERO room in front of me.  She was being a TW@T.

Anyways main act begins and its f**king amazing! We are all singing and bonding and having the best time.  When suddenly I feel tits...on my shoulder!  Like not the lady behind me who is literally my height.  Like someone taller so pressed up against me their tits are on TOP of my shoulder. Okay look I know I am at a concert and people will squish together but this felt different. 

So I turn my head and this chick straight up says "can i get in front of you for a few minutes."  

*you CANNOT be serious*. 

She is literally almost a foot taller than me...  So I said "hahaha...No...".  She seemed shocked I would deny her and was like lost for words.  Then said "well can I stay here?"  I said you need to ask the lady behind me.  And I STG she said "I don't want to she's mean".  And I was like "well yea I guess she is!" and turned around.  My friend next to me pushed her shoulder next to mine and screamed "HOLD THE LINE!" hahaha

Well the nice lady behind me was like "Um get the f**k B." and she was like "but I paid...just like you did". And the nice lady's husband goes "yea but you didn't get here 2 hours ago so move your @$$". 

So she backs up...and stands in front of a woman who is WAY shorter than me.  A complete stranger...as in someone who didn't know this tiny lady lost his $HIT on this chick.  It was EPIC!!!!  She went back further.  But the thing is she lost her original spot so she kept getting pushed further and further back by other irritated patrons.  And honestly I didn't feel bad for her at this point. 

The rest of the night was perfection. A few times someone had to go pee and the group collectively helped save their spot.  It was AMAZING. 

So here's my "question". Were we in the wrong for trying to save our spots???   Its not like we blocked off a giant area.  We all got there early and the couples never left together.  But these persons decided to get there late and jump in front.  Am I crazy or is that 1000% just f**king rude??!?!?!  Like if you like a band that much, get there early or stay in the back.  F**k it's one of my fav bands but if we got there 2 hours after the doors opened, I wouldn't think it was okay to stand in front of someone that had been there for hours.  

Karen in the Wild

So I was leaving to go to the store to drop off some donations for an animal rescue.  Well this truck was at the stop sign right behind me and waved me to go.  I looked both ways and started backing up.  This little silver car comes out of nowhere and BLOWS through the stop sign going towards the main road. She missed me *whew*

But I’m headed in the same direction and am right behind her.  She turn right, I turn right.  She turns left, I turn. She turns right, you guessed it…me too.  I was like she's going to think I am following, hahaha. Nah she probably doesn't realize it.  Well we are coming to a "stale" yellow light and as it turns red she guns it and blows through a red light.  Hmmm maybe she does see me.  Well I caught the light but as we get to another main road she is in the turning lane and I pull up behind her.  She turns and well so do I.  As we are trudging along, she sure as f**k turns into the same store I am going to!!!!

I'm like you have got to be kidding me.  So I turn in and park and get ready to get my donation bags out.  As I get out she starts yelling from 3 spots over and across the lane....I was like huh. She screams "YOU!!!" 

Who me?

Followed by, “I didn’t hit you. You didn’t have to follow me to prove a point. You are just going to give an old lady a heart attack” or something of that nature. More words..less coherent.  As she’s yelling her voice is getting louder and louder and more like screetchy.  You know what I mean.  Its like a frantic banshee. This whole scene is causing a lot of stares.  At this point I have said nothing because I am so confused why she still screaming at me.  

Finally, I was like whatever so I just opened my trunk and said “lady I have no idea what you are talking about I’m just here  to drop off the donations for the rescue”.  As I pull two black garbage bags from my trunk.

*crickets* *slow blink* then she aggreessivly huffs/screams...slams her door...she grabs her purse and storms inside. 

She clearly knew she did something wrong but it was just the universe having fun at her expense.  

Honestly if I thought a crazy person was following me...

1) I wouldn't have stopped

2) I would have called 911

3) I would NOT have started screaming

What if the person had a gun?!?!?! People are crazy, totally....but I am not one of them.  

Also don't run stop signs!!!

Ya know Math just isn't for some people......

But those people maybe shouldn't work in the accounting or billing dept.....

Look I get it. I have besties who sometimes the numbers just don't click.  And its okay.  There is nothing wrong with that.  But when you work with money or better yet OTHER people's money, you should have a basic understanding of numbers. 

If you are AP or AR you should know that a number in parentheses is a negative.  A negative number...is a credit.  A credit should be SUBTRACTED from a total not added to it.  

You should also understand what "billing cycle" means.  And most times a billing cycle is billed AFTER the cycle ends.  So if say your billing cycle run from 11/11-12/10 and is due on the 1st of the following month.  That would mean they are due on 1/1....right?  Right.  This would also mean that the next billing cycle (12/11 - 1/10) would be due on 2/1, right? Right.  

So if you were me and got a bill for 11/11 - 12/10 AND 12/11 - 1/10 saying they are BOTH due on 1/1 you would have an issue, right?  How can you bill me for 12/11 - 1/10 when we are still in the middle of said billing cycle?!?!

Apparently that was confusing to the poor AR person I was speaking with.  He tried but he tried wrong.  He tried to make me feel stupid, tell me I needed to ADD the (12.66) to my total not SUBTRACT it, and mansplain how billing works.  That works never with me.  I was kind until he tried to make me feel dumb and spoke down to me.  

At that point I was not kind.  I didn't yell.  That isn't my style.  I started asking questions making him realize he was not in the right...to the point that he finally gave in and got his manager.  What was worse, that manager did the same thing, well he tried to.  Then when he realized I had a brain he told me to call in to customer loyalty tomorrow since it was clear my billing was incorrect and he didn't have the authority to pull the detail to actually help me.  

If you can't help someone that's okay BUT don't treat them like $hit, make them feel inferior, or speak down to them just to make yourself right.  That is crap customer service and you should not be in that position.  

Some things never change

So I am not unfamiliar with the "friendzone".  I have unfortunately dealt with more than my share of offended masculinity.  

With that said, I have been "friendzoned" by guys if that's what you want to call it but I wasn't....it was different.  Did it suck if I had a crush and they didn't reciprocate? Yes a little but I was also aware...weird...whatever enough to not get mad about it.  99% of the time I ended up insanely good friends with these people and their sig others.  

But when guys I knew were "friendzoned" they got offended.  I can't tell you how many "friends" I thought I had that were 100% only trying to f**king win me or even better...sleep with me.  Gross....can we think with the brain and not the pee pee for one sec.  Also I am aware that there are some girls who are the same.  They play the long game to "get the guy".  Seriously we need to evolve a bit more...  

Either way you slice it saying you were "friendzoned" is such a dick thing to say.  Being a jack@$$ to someone who doesn't share the same feelings for you is so primitive.  It sucks but come on.  You can't tell me the proper response to "I see you as a friend" is to call someone a whore or an @$$hole.  NO!  

Being a friend is not necessarily a bad thing.  Being a friend is sometimes one of the best things to happen.  I know the friend thing doesn't always work or isn't easy when unreciprocated feelings are involved but sometimes those end up being the best friendships once you get past those pesky emotions.  Because being a friend doesn't mean there aren't any feelings, it doesn't mean someone doesn't love or care for you, they just don't share that special attraction.  

Where did this come from?  

While out walking today, I overheard the below:

Guy 1: dude…come on…

Guy 2: what…? She sucks, okay!

Guy 1: man…that’s called the friend zone!!!

Guy 2: Wait, what? okay…and…?

Guy 1:  and..? And!? And it’s a BAD THING! That’s like a funeral for your d**k! 

Girl: ummmm y’all are both @$$holes and it’s clear why your in “that” zone 

I mean good on the girl for calling them out but how crappy that a young 20 something had to call out two other ADULTS for being buttheads.  

Don't be a tw@t

Public Service Announcement:

If you notice someone has gained weight...SHUT UP.  I guarantee you that person is fully aware that they are heavier.  They are probably VERY upset about it.  They do not need to hear about it from judgy @$$holes like you.

We all see it with celebrities and it pisses me off.  They are still HUMAN.  Just because they gained some weight and aren't a negative 4 doesn't mean we should blast it all over the internet and make them feel worse.

Same goes with your family/friends/co-workers.  Trust me they know what they look like.  And you can't POSSIBLY know what is happening in their life so shut it!

I say this because I have recently become the "target" of such comments.  Not to my face...no that would be rude...BUT to my cousins and brothers and sister in laws...and aunts...and uncles...should I f**king continue?  It came to a head when I said something to a cousin and she told me "yea...I've heard a lot about your @$$ and thighs recently...it pissed me off!"  Yea well it pisses me off too!

I am not a size zero (nothing wrong with that by the way) but I am not f**king fat either!  I am horribly out of shape compared to this time last year.  My muscle has turned to...not muscle.  Booooooooo!  But its not because I've become a lazy f**k or something.  Its because I am dealing with stupid $hit that I can't talk to anyone about except my husband (NDA b**ches) and I am f**king stressed out!

I am still running races but I went from working out 6 days a week to maybe one...maybe.  I don't eat awful BUT I've been eating out much more.  I don't eat sweets much so that's good but my guilty pleasure is a coke.

Why?  Well because I am driving an hour each way to work...EVERY DAY.  I am working 10 hour days.  By the time I get home its f**king dark...or getting dark and I am trying to attempt dinner.  Otherwise we order in.  I don't stop at all 'til bed time.  I go to bed...rinse repeat.  Could I make time?  Of course...I'd sacrifice sleep and at the moment...I don't think I can.  I am barely getting 6 hours a night now.   I am taking supplements to help with lady things that happen to make you retain a bit more fluid.  I have diagnosed IBS and while its under control for the most part when I get stressed my tummy pokes out because just look up IBS and you'll get it.

So yea I am a bit jiggly in places I didn't used to be.  I think I look like $hit, thanks.  But I don't need comments from the peanut gallery and I still fit in my clothes (and no they aren't too snug) so suck it!  I mean somethings I forgo...like a really tight shirt....or anything that grips the tummy area.  And GOD am I dreading putting on a swimsuit but whatever. 

My point is quit talking $hit.  You don't know what other people are going through, unless you ask...and NO ONE HAS ASKED!  You aren't making comments because you are concerned...if you were you'd say them to me in the form of "hey, I noticed you aren't running as much...you okay?" or "I noticed you aren't working from home as much...wanna talk about it?" See that isn't RUDE!  You are making comments behind someone's back to gossip so, f**k you very much. 

Yea, no my car doesn't smoke, thanks.....

Yo, you people that flick your lit cancer stick out the window going 80mph down the interstate can f**k off!  That is still LITTERING!  You shouldn't do that.  The local wildlife is holding up unsuspecting hikers looking for their next nicotine fix!

Sometimes I see them coming and they explode in a blast of embers on my windshield. 
Other times I see the flying smoke stick zooming past my window. 
And still other times I completely miss them. 

Anyway, as I was driving, suddenly, it looked like my f**king car was on fire! 

...wait....no...

Side Note - She is my freaking spirit animal.  I LOVED her!  I watched that show ALL THE TIME and still do when reruns are on!!!

Moving on.  There I was lala-ing along when traffic slowed in-front of me.  As I slowed down I noticed the front of my car...

OMG IS THAT SMOKE?!?!?! 
My car isn't that old...it should not be smoking! 
Is there a tiny fire????

So I kinda panicked for a sec.  I was so worried it would overheat and damage something. 

Weird...no lights or alarms are going off. 
Ugh what is that smell?!?!

I turned off the outside vent, what is that?!?!?!

*ew ew ew ew ew* Move people!  The exit is right there!!!!

My car could explode at any second, MOVE!

So I got off at the next exit and stopped at in the first parking lot I saw.  I popped the hood and walked to the front of my car. 

Odd the smoke isn't coming from under the hood. 

Then I saw the little cherry glowing in my grill *WTF*.  There was a f**king cigarette wedged in my front grill...STILL LIT!  It was only about half smoked...if that.  Basically someone lit it and then threw the f**king thing out the window.

You'd think going 80 down the Interstate would have blown it out or whatever.  But it was protected. 

When it hit my grill it bent in half and the lit end was inside, partially protected from the wind.  The "smell" was the slight charring of plastic, mixed with cigarette smoke coming in my A/C vent.  I pulled it out, stomped it, and threw it away.  I dumped a load of sanitizer in my hand and drove the rest of the way with the windows down because my car now smelled like @$$ baked in the sun. 

Flicking a butt out the window is still littering.  Its gross. Its dangerous to wildlife...AND TO OTHER DRIVERS.  If you are hell bent on smoking in your car...KEEP IT IN YOUR CAR!

My vagina says you're an @$$hole

Just because you have a penis doesn't mean you can do or say whatever you want.  It goes the other way too.  Just  because you lack a penis doesn't mean you can do or say what you want.  Basically, genitalia shouldn't determine how you treat people.

With that said, I don't care how angry you are...you never never NEVER speak like this to a vendor/client/other human being. 

A client messed up.  Not a big mess up but an annoyance, EASILY fixable.  Except he didn't want to accept he was responsible for creating said annoyance.  So he proceeded to lose his f**king mind on the phone.  At first he just yelled a lot and spoke over me. 

With every shred of patience I could muster I waited until he was done and tried speaking again.  After carefully telling him there was an issue but I could fix it, he started screaming at me that I TOLD him to do it that way.  Ummm no I didn't.  Yes, you did.  Right, lets agree to disagree and get this fixed. 

But it didn't stop there.  As I was actively trying to find a feasible solution he was flipping out about how stupid we are, how stupid our system is, how inconvenient it is that he has to do all the work to fix HIS mistake.  I ignored the slimy dick socket while I chatted online with my CSR. 

Then I hear him pull the phone away from his ear and growl like a f**king psychopath.  He came back and asked if I was going to attempt to fix it or if I fell asleep. 

I calmly responded with "I am chatting with a CSR right now to come up with the best solution." He pulled the phone away AGAIN and growled like a rabid dog, came back and yelled "well I didn't f**king know that now did I?!?!?"

To which I replied, I got tired of you "speaking" over my explanations and decided to just fix it.  The insecure crotch goblin did his best impression of Beast roaring into the phone and screamed "you can't speak to me like that you ignorant c**t!!!!!!!!!!!" 

I immediately hung up the phone and told my boss.  Me and my CSR implemented the solution but I still needed to tell him it was fixed.  Before I could think about just sending an email my phone rang. 

I answered sweet as pie to a fuming psychopath who demanded to speak to my boss.  Sure, whatever.  My boss came on the line and introduced HERself.  The infected whale vagina says eerily calm, "I said I wanted to speak to the boss not another b**ch playing boss". 

The call was immediately terminated. 

My boss called his boss...hilarity ensued.  Mainly because that white trash taint monster tried to deny EVERYTHING.  Um sir, remember when you called in and the automated assistant said "this call may be recorded for quality assurance".  Yea, you were recorded. 

I may have gotten someone fired and honestly I don't f**king care.  Yes, I know I am being insulting here but I didn't say it to him or his boss...therefore I win the decent human award for the day.

Lesson of the Day:  Don't speak poorly to people and if you do for whatever reason make sure you aren't being recorded...dip$hit!  What is wrong in your life that you feel like that was an acceptable response to "I f**ked up and need your help".

Would you drink/eat something that makes you a little sicker everyday...?

If not then why DO something that can cause health issues overtime?  We all know stress can make you VERY sick...right? 

Well so can holding a grudge...right?

The amount of energy it takes to stay pissed off at someone is ridiculous.  I mean I am not a forgive and forget person if someone seriously hurts me but I also am not a 15 years down the road kinda person either. 

If you hurt me...like REALLY hurt me, I will distance myself for my own sanity.  I do forgive quick usually but I don't forget and am cautious.  With that said if someone is TRULY sorry, and proves that to me over time, we are cool.    Will I trust them 100%...probably not but I get over things...I don't waste my energy on hatred. 

Where did this come from?  Well I have an acquaintance who cannot fathom how I can stand to be in the room with another acquaintance. 

Backstory:  In 10 years ago a close friend of mine went through a thing.  This thing brought all kinds of skeletons out of the closet.  During this "thing" I learned that my close friend had been lying to me about a lot of things for 8 years.  ONe lie, lead to another lie, and so on and so forth.  I was friends with their spouse, auntie to their children, we hung out all the time!!!  And the lie was stupid.  It wasn't necessary...had I been told the truth from Day 1, I wouldn't have batted an eye but the compounded lie destroyed my trust.  How can you blatantly lie to someone you call your sister everyday for 8 years?!?!?!

Moving on, it took years for me to feel comfortable speaking to this "friend" when we saw each other.  I wasn't mean or hateful, just uncomfortable.  But eventually I realized they were honestly remorseful about what happened.  Basically the lie was told before we were close and the more time that went by it never seemed like a good time to come clean for fear of losing relationships which happened anyway but whatever. 

With this said it has been 10 years!  I barely hold a grudge for 10 minutes much less 10 years!  I am not one to keep reminding someone of their f**k up.  If you acknowledge it and apologize its done. Which is why it baffles me that this other person thinks I should still be harping on this 10 years later.  I don't care.  The past is the past, we have moved on, why can't you?  While this did affect person A, they weren't THAT close to person B so why the continued hatred?  Is it on my behalf?  If so, please STOP!  Holding on to something like that cannot be good for you!

I don't understand...maybe I am too forgiving but I'd rather focus my energy on happy times than dwell on the negative. 

Just my ramblings...*ugh* why isn't it FRIDAY?!?!?!

STOP DRINKING & DRIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was all ready to make a funny/fun/silly Mardi Gras post but that will have to wait....

For f**ks sake people there are other options.  I know a lot of people have done it...I know its stupid.  I know sometimes people don't realize how impaired they are until after they are driving.  I know sometimes friends aren't there to stop you!  I know $hit happens! I know! 

But there are so many more options these days than EVER.  You've always been able to call a friend.  Back in the day if you had cash, call a cab.  Or f**king walk!  But now there is Uber & Lyft and Cabs take CCs.  Or stay where you are and sleep it off.  Meaning you have NO EXCUSE! 

Not only do you endanger yourself, but you run the risk of KILLING SOMEONE ELSE in the process.  Mardi Gras is a time of partying.  This has been the case for YEARS.  But in the past TWO days I've gotten news alerts about FIVE accidents caused by an "impaired" driver and not all were in NOLA.  Not to mention my friend's son was involved in a hit and run with a DRUNK DRIVER just before the parade insanity started.  That Mo-fo t-boned him, backed up, and f**king took off!  I'm not even sure how his truck was still drive-able but whatever.  The son was okay (Thank GOD!) but pretty beat up and bleeding everywhere. 

I was down the street from the Endymion fiasco.  If you don't know some f**k nugget who was HEAVILY intoxicated drove his truck into the parade crowd injuring more than 30 people and sending 21 to the hospital.  Thankfully no one died but some are hurt and hurt bad.  Not sure how only one child was struck...that area is FULL of families...honestly that is a miracle and he only had minor injuries.  This guy is 25...he has messed up his entire life.  There is no scenario where he doesn't have a serious mark on his record and probably prison.  He is claiming he "accepted a drink" from a stranger on the street and doesn't remember anything else.  Sorry buddy that isn't really an excuse.  One don't take drinks from strangers and two DON'T DRIVE!  Now if his blood screen comes back with a roofie in it, okay I'll give you a little sympathy BUT your blood alcohol 2 hours after the accident was still three times the legal limit.....sooooooooo something doesn't add up.  I've been drugged before (unfortunately)...I didn't keep drinking...I think I had half a drink total and couldn't function anymore ...and I know others (unfortunately) that said the same thing...they didn't drink anything else after they were drugged...so this makes no sense to me but I am not an expert so who knows.  

In another incident a CHILD was killed on I10 because of an impaired driver and in another a woman in the vehicle with an impaired driver died after the vehicle flipped.  

Don't be scared to stand up to an intoxicated person who is trying to leave.  Take their keys and walk away.  If they somehow get in the car, DO NOT GET IN.  I've done it.  I've taken keys.  I've refused to get in a car.  Its hard! Your friend/family gets mad...sometimes very mean but its the right decision.  If something happens and you don't at least try you will feel guilty.  It isn't your fault but you will feel like you should have done something more.  It sucks... It is much easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.   And the next day you usually get an apology and a thank you...usually...some people are @$$holes...you don't need them...trust me but you still did the right thing.

It isn't worth it!  Please...please I beg you stop this.  And its all ages doing it..not just "young people".  I think one of the incidents was a 50+ y/o, so you can't blame just one generation.  No one wants to get a call/knock at the door saying their child/spouse/parent/sibling/friend/whatever was injured or killed in a crash.......accidents happen without impairment but these types...these are preventable.

Rant over, NOLA Gurl out....now lets go enjoy the rest of Mardi Gras, hopefully with no more craziness!

This is why we all have trust issues!

Right, so we all know everything on the Internet is 100% true.  *ahem*  Anyway, I see all kinds of goofy $hit on FB and other social media.  90% of the time the original poster is making a joke.  A *haha* lets see how many dumb@$$e$ there are on the interwebs.  I usually roll my eyes and move on.  I try not to get "offended" and I ignore many but when one starts to go viral in my friend list I have to say something.  And I am usually not the only one that does say something.  Especially when it is kind of mocking something...like Veterans.

COME ON people!!!  That is not a group of Vietnam Vets.  It is the cast for Tropic Thunder!!!!  That is Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr, etc.  STAAAAHP sharing this! I checked the original post...I can't tell if it was a joke or not but A LOT of people commented on it with "ha ha...that is the cast for Tropic Thunder" or "I hope you are joking...that is Ben Stiller etc".  I get that some people may not realize its a movie cast and share it because they share f**king everything they see online.  So bad on you internet troll...

If you want to support Veterans do not post a picture of a bunch of Hollywood elite who made a satirical movie about War....its insulting.  Instead, maybe find a REAL picture of Vets and share it.  Just a thought.   Or quit sharing everything you see online...geesh!

P.S. And yes I know quite a few Vets who find this movie hilarious (I laughed too)...its the misrepresentation in the Post that is annoying. 

How would you like it if I took your kid, drove him/her 20+ miles away and left them...? Hmmmmmm?!?!?!!?

Do NOT do this!!!!!!!!!!!  I mean obvi don't do this to a child but also DO NOT take it upon yourself to rid the neighborhood of unwanted Cats/Dogs by DUMPING them elsewhere.  What the f**k is wrong with you?!!?!?  If you were able to get close enough to an animal to catch it, chances are it is someone's f**king pet and they are probably looking for it! 

If you have a stray whatever that has babies bring them to a vet or the God Blessed shelter!!!  Do NOT drive them to the woods or another city and leave them.  What kind of MONSTER are you?!!?!?

Look we don't all like the kitty making poopy in our gardens.  And stray puppies/dogs, especially large ones, can be dangerous.  But why on Earth would anyone think, "hey, I don't like this animal around me so I'm going to go dump it in a PARKING LOT off of Airline Hwy"??!?!?  No, no, no, no...just f**king NO!  If its a neighbor's outside cat put deterrents in your yard.  NOTHING HARMFUL.  There are products and plants you can buy that keep animals away but won't hurt them.  Be responsible!

You call your City/Parish Animal Control and report it.  If you do catch them bring them to a vet to see if they are chipped or bring them to the shelter.  If you don't want to deal with it then wait for f**king animal control.  Don't assume because they don't have a collar they are STRAYS!  Animals lose collars.  People are probably looking for their fur babies.  Don't be a dick! 

Also, if you find an animal...make sure its not someone else's pet before deciding to keep it.  How would you like it if you lost your fur baby and someone else was like "oh, its in my yard...its mine now"???  Be responsible!!!  I have animals show up to my house ALL THE TIME.  I bring them to the shelter or the vet.  Or I leave them be...unless they are a danger to MY PETS.  I don't put them in a crate and dump them...or harm them...STAAAAAHP!  As an adult I've had 4 dogs and 3 cats come into my life.  Of those 2 were adopted from a shelter.  The others were stray animals that literally showed up on my doorstep or a family/friend's doorstep and I took them in.  They had no chips.  No collars.  Signs went up and no one claimed them.  They became my babies and the ones that are gone lived VERY long, VERY happy lives. 

In conclusion, DON'T BE A DICK!!!