Just be lucky I didn't grab your phone and rub it in my @$$crack or something

Alright, so I totally wouldn't do THAT.  Look I know peeps are germ crazy.  They think everyone is gross and no one washes their hands.  Usually THESE are the people who come around others hacking up a lung and snotting all over. 

Look I get it...its cold/flu season.  You don't want people touching your phone since you have to touch it and/or put it to your face.  But don't be an @$$hat about it. 

If you come to me and shove your phone in my face to show me something, chances are I am going to gently grab it NOT BY THE SCREEN, by the edges, to angle it so I can see better (especially if there is an open window behind me...HELLO GLARE!). 

You are practically throwing your phone in my face saying "look".  Don't yank it away from my reach like I have the plague only to hover it in front of me still saying "look".  I'm trying to f**king look, I can't see it, hence the grab.  If you don't want people touching your phone don't stick it in someones face saying "look".  Next time I will grab it and rub it around in my bra just to make a point *geesh*.

And I am not the one f**king hacking and sniffling every damn day with "allergies"...that would be you dear.  Just saying.


Good lord people there are ways to handle things without being a douche nozzle. 

Side Note - It wasn't just a move the phone away from me move.  It was a yank into the air so hard they almost fell over backwards from the momentum.  Slightly unnecessary *rolling eyes*.  

They.are.people!!! A pee pee (or lack of) does not change that! They aren't aliens!!!!!!!

I am clearly on the side of "I don't care what your lifestyle choices are as long as they don't involve harming another person or an innocent whether that is a child or an animal".  Why is this so hard for other people to grasp?  I've never heard of a transsexual sexually assaulting anyone...ever.  The ones I've met are normal, they are just PEOPLE.  Hell, most of them I didn't realize they were trans until they told me. 

So please do NOT give me that whole "OMG I'll be peeing with a man bull$hit".  The last I checked there were stalls in the bathroom so how the f**k would you KNOW if they are male or female?  If YOU are checking, YOU are the perv not them.  If you are in fear of your safety or your child's safety because pervs will use this as an opportunity to perv out in the ladies/mens room then I don't think you know how trans really works. 

There is usually A LOT of effort that goes into someone being trans.  They don't just put on a dress and say "I'm a woman now" full beard and all.  Most times there are hormone treatments to reduce hair or stimulate hair growth.  There is usually real hair, not wigs.  Sometimes there are surgeries.  Most times you can't look at them and go "OMG that's a man/woman" because most f**king times you cannot tell!  So unless there is literally a pee pee police officer at EVERY restroom entrance than I don't know how this proposed ban is gonna work.  I also don't know how the law is going to work.  I get what they are trying to do but it opened up a whole new can of bigotry...prejudice...Idiocracy.  What are we going to have to show our genitalia or provide a birth certificate to prove our gender to use the f**king restroom!!! What is happening?!?

Really though, I don't care if you have a pee pee or a hoohah, if you just pee and leave then what is the f**king problem?!?!?!  Real, trans people aren't pervs.  They aren't dressing like the opposite sex to get a look at your junk.  They are dressing like that because that is how they feel comfortable.  And don't forget some women look masculine, just like some men look feminine.  So you can't just go by looks!!!!!!  It's happened to me and I felt like an imbecile.  I thought I walked into the wrong restroom because the person that walked in behind me looked like a stereotypical dude.  It wasn't until I went to leave and she spoke that I realized she was female.  I apologized profusely for being an @$$hat. She wasn't offended.  She laughed and apologized for confusing me.  I said do not apologize, I'm an idiot and we both laughed.  See that is how you handle that, don't be an @$$hole.  You live and learn.

What pisses me off is how people are are using this to out people.  That is NOT your decision to make.  I am appalled at the ignorance of humanity. 

Selfish...me? I don't think that word means what you think it means.....

Okay so its a rant (kind of), get ready or don't read further.  I have two short scenarios that made my blood boil.



1.  FAMILY member asking me quietly about babies and whatnot (I am okay with this...this doesn't bother me).  FAMILY member taking my niece from my aunt and putting her in my arms so I could get then envie.  While I adore her...WTH people?!? FAMILY member asking if we were at least trying.  Me saying yes.  Them saying well maybe you need to seek other methods (IVF).  While I wouldn't be opposed to that IF I had more money, I am opposed to it right now, its f**king expensive!  And insurance pays for NONE OF IT here in LA.  Family member calling me SELFISH for not wanting to go further into debt to conceive.  How the f**k is that being selfish!?!?  Reproducing is not required.  I want yes but I don't want enough to have to file for bankruptcy!  If I come into some funds then maybe or maybe I'll use them to pay for adoption fees.  Whatever the case may be opting to not do IVF because of financial stability is not being f**king SELFISH!  What good is getting preggo if I don't have a house or car or money to raise a baby!?!?!




2. Me relaying the above story to an acquaintance.  Not a BFF or family but a friend in some ways (an acquaintance after this ridiculousness).  The response was "well I can't say anything because I CAN  have babies".  Me true but I just...its not something that happens for many without assistance.  The response "I don't know why.  I had babies so easy. All I did was think about a baby and poof I was pregnant".  Right.  This is true I have some family members like this.  I know its easy for many but some of US *emphasis on the US* (hello me, me...you know your "friend" who you KNOW has issues) can't without help so it would be great if insurance would at least pick up some of the tab.  The response "No they shouldn't do that.  Then our premiums would go up just because some chick was defective".  *gob smacked* Riiiight.  *thinking* So by your standards should insurance not pay for people with chronic illness too?!?!?!  *said* Well insurance is still stupid and I hate that ours is now 60/40 instead of 80/20.




I just found BOTH of these scenarios rude and insensitive.  Everyone can have an opinion but if you KNOW someone is having a problem conceiving, both of the above are probably not things you should say TO THEM.  Asking questions is one thing but this was just beyond unkind.

Haters gonna hate, hate, hate... hate, hate....hate....

How many should I put?!?!?  I wasn't going to post anything "serious" today.  I did my remembrance on the 10 year anniversary and while I'll never forget, I wont rehash it every year.  With that said, OMG people are brutal!

I have no idea who this is, I just saw the screenshot

I don't think that is what that means.  First of all at least spell $hit right if you are going to be an @$$hat.  Second, you can't fix anything with hate.  That is ignorant and just makes everything 10 times worse.  Being hateful towards EVERYONE who happens to be Muslim/Middle Eastern because a few extremist went all ape$hit isn't going to fix ANYTHING!  This hurt.  To see that much seething hatred, it is unnecessary.  Of course we should NEVER forget.  It was a horrible day and many perished but you can't blame an entire religion or part of the world for the actions of a few.  Yes there are many who probably supported this action (and they are bad or misguided people, sorry) but there are also others who were horrified to be associated with it.  There are extremists in EVERY religion/culture.  There are Christians I'd rather not be associated with and I have to say all the time "not all of us think like that". 

Then I saw this...

Yea it may not be beneficial to us to take in 10,000 refugees but that isn't really the point.  This statement isn't based on the problems caused by an influx of refugees, this is based on who and where the refugees are from. Where is your bible thumping bull$hit now?  Doesn't it say something about helping those less fortunate, in need, whatever.  These people seem to be in need.  Or should we turn our backs because they aren't the same religion?  Wouldn't you want the world to help us if something terrible happened here or would you want them to shut their borders and write us off as a total loss because we are "stupid Americans"? 

Of course this should be thought through very carefully...I mean the world economy is basically collapsing and taking on more people could be detrimental for any country. But the crazed hatred is still unnecessary.  Yes I know people who fought overseas after 9/11 and I know they suffered greatly because of some of the hateful people over there.  It's a f**ked up situation all around.  I just don't think using 9/11 as a "prop" is the way to go. 

Do I want to endanger my country, its citizens?  Of course not! I just want us to get passed all the prejudice/racist/extremist bull$hit.  

This song may not be about issues today (it is from 1992) but it sure hits home when you listen to it considering all the crap happening in the here and now.

We Shall Be Free by Garth Brooks

History of the song

I'ma post the lyrics too because they are meaningful to me.

This ain't comin' from no prophet
Just an ordinary man
When I close my eyes I see
The way this world shall be
When we all walk hand in hand

When the last child cries for a crust of bread
When the last man dies for just words that he said
When there's shelter over the poorest head
We shall be free

When the last thing we notice is the color of skin
And the first thing we look for is the beauty within
When the skies and the oceans are clean again
Then we shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
Stand straight, walk proud
'Cause we shall be free

When we're free to love anyone we choose
When this world's big enough for all different views
When we all can worship from our own kind of pew
Then we shall be free
We shall be free

We shall be free
Have a little faith
Hold out
'Cause we shall be free

And when money talks for the very last time
And nobody walks a step behind
When there's only one race and that's mankind
Then we shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
Stand straight, walk proud, have a little faith, hold out
We shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
Stand straight, have a little faith

We shall be free

Why haven't we invented Transporters yet?? Teleporting...? A Vortex Manipulator...? Something that means I can travel without strangers...something that doesn't include me springing for a private jet.

Has anyone ever seen that Jimmy Kimmel skit with Sir Patrick Stewart playing the part of the annoying airline passenger?!?!?!  Because I remember watching it ages ago and I laughed my @$$ off!  Not only because its freaking hilarious but also because how can you NOT love Sir Patrick Stewart?!!??!

With that said, on my flight back home the other day I had all of those annoying characteristics and more in ONE passenger seated behind me.  I should mention it was a later flight...after 7PM and it had been delayed a bit before we boarded.

We were delayed longer because of weather and he b**ched constantly.  He wouldn't shut up about how we'd been "sitting in the plane for 30 minutes and weren't moving", blah blah blah.  Yea well I'd rather be sitting here than trying to take off in a mini hurricane, just saying! 

Then he wanted to talk to everyone around him.  "Hey, you ever been to New Orleans? It's a great place! I've been many many times.  Bourbon is the best. This one time..."  Meanwhile I am just trying to sink as low as I can in my seat and read my book so he'll stop including me in the one sided conversation.   I think he realized this because then he started SHAKING my seat trying to get my attention (what is your f**king problem?!?!). He had also stuck his arm between the seat and wall and kept tapping my shoulder.

We finally took off and he started f**king clapping and cheering and WHISTLING!  OMG STAHP!

The entire 1 1/2 hour flight his knee was in my back.  He was so slouched, his GD knee was WEDGED in my back.  Which isn't kicking but its a close second when it comes to annoying. 

Then...oh then, he opened his dinner.  Yea, I don't care usually when people eat on a plane BUT it was something...Greek or Cajun or Hot Wings or some mixture.  My point is the smell of Garlic and other things was almost nauseating in the tiny space.

He didn't climb over anyone to go pee BUT he did practically run everyone over trying to exit the plane.  I thought it was common knowledge that you wait until the people in front of you exit???  He wasn't a small guy either...he was built like a f**king linebacker. 

Below is the video from Kimmel Live, so fitting

But you see my adventure didn't end there.  The part I left out...that ISN'T in the video is the absolutely DISGUSTING part.  Mid-Flight I kept hearing him clear his throat, like obnoxiously *aheeming* and *back sniffling*...I figured whatever smelly thing he was eating had spice or something.  Then it happened.  He f**king sneezed!  I am not talking about a normal "ahchoo".  I am talking full on DAD sneeze.

He didn't even try to cover his mouth/nose.  It was so forceful that even though there was a f**king seat back behind me my hair blew forward!  And...oh god it gets worse...and I didn't have my sweater on like I usually do and my arm that was near the window was suddenly moist and there were a few droplets on the page I was reading.  I freaked.  Normally I'd not cause a scene and I didn't say anything to him but I did say something along the lines of "*ahhhh* that is disgusting!  Great now I am going to get the plague!".  I didn't scream it...I said it just loud enough to be heard.  He didn't even apologize or offer me a napkin...thankfully the flight attendant was right there and handed me a bunch of napkins and some hand sanitizer (THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS) which I rubbed on my arms and face and hands...basically all exposed skin.  This leads me to the present. You see, a few days after my flight, I started to feel funky *crap*.  I don't have the full blown Plague, I have more of a Plague Light.  Which still sucks but not quite as bad.  *fingers crossed* it doesn't decide it wants to be full blown Plague. 

With all this said, it reminded me of something I saw on imgur or tumblr or reddit...I dunno, one of them and I've been laughing so hard my sides hurt...or maybe its a new symptom of the Plague...who knows.

Lesson: "Humans very well may be the Klingons of the Universe"
(I didn't come up with that, Source). 

Sugar, your problems do not make you a princess...I'll not bow down to ya. We aaaaaaaaaaaaall have problems, get over yourself!

Okay that seems harsh.  It is not that I don't care about other peoples issues (as stated we all have them).  I get annoyed when people act like an @$$ for no apparent reason and expect you to grovel at their feet, begging for an explanation because they have an issue that you are unaware of.

Me: Good morning *smile*, what happened yesterday when I was out?
Person: *dramatic sigh* it was normal *moves to the other side of the coffee room and is quiet*
Me: Okaaaaay. . .*raised eyebrow* just wondering because my phone barely rang
Person: *unnecessarily aggressive* I said it was normal! *storms out of the coffee room*
Me: *stirring my coffee* WTF was that about?!?!

Sorry "your majesty" but what the hell is your childhood trauma?!?!? I am not sure when in the 10 minutes I've been here that I managed to piss them off so royally but I clearly did.  The thing I now know (through years of experience) is that it has NOTHING to do with me...at least I am fairly certain it has nothing to do with me.  This person will have a personal issue(s) and then takes it out on everyone at work.  They give us all the silent treatment, clipped answers, close (slam) their office door, rude to customers, etc.  It's extremely immature and 100% unprofessional.  Then if you don't ask "awe pauvre bête, what's wrong???" in a timely manner (I've no idea what that time frame is...its hit or miss), you become the focus of their anger and the actions mentioned above are exaggerated tenfold.  

I don't understand.  If it isn't work related, leave it at home.  Of course we can't shut out everything once we get to work but at least try to remember you are a "professional" and act like one.  I have no "power" over this person so I can't do much about it.  And we aren't talking newbie, just out of college, doesn't understand office etiquette.  We are talking 20+ years experience and a bit older than me.  I am not going to coddle you because you lash out at me over something I have NOTHING to do with.  I am not here to do that...you want to be coddled go home to your spouse...if its their fault you are so pissy get a lover (just kidding don't do that).  Or act like a normal f**king human being and come out with it.  You obviously want to "talk" about it or you wouldn't be showing  your @$$ so come on then, spit it out or stop being a tw@t.

My point is we all have problems, I'm not diminishing the severity of theirs and I am not in a pissing contest over whose personal life sucks more at this point in time.  Put on your big girl panties and get on with it.

NOTE: I asked what was wrong about 2 hours later and was told with a very FORCED smile, "*sigh* nothing, everything is...fine *slowly walks away*."  OMG, just stahp!!!

Your momma failed you sugar

If you were never taught that saying "when are you expecting" or "how far along are you" or something of that nature is a big no no, she failed you.  NEVER...EVER assume a woman with a pooch is prego.  Unless you know with 100% certainty say nothing...it is safer.

Case in point.  I had on a dress (not even that tight but slightly fitted)...mind you as I've stated before...I am fairly small.  Not skinny but tiny none the less.  I heard a *ding*, someone at the front desk.  Well I was all alone and went to see who was here. 

Not a customer...not a vendor...some poor lost person who had no idea where they were.  I helped them with some directions and was ready to send them on their way when they decided it was time for a chat.  I was just finishing up the directions when this happened:

Person: Is that your first?
Me: *completely oblivious* *still writing* Hmmmm?  No people get lost around here all the time.
Person: No, I meant child *pointing at me*
Me: *slowly raises head* Ummmm what? *looking down* Yeeeeaaaa no...I just ate lunch...
Person:  *getting nervous* Oh I...I just assumed...I'm, I'm sorry...
Me:  *raised eyebrow* Soooo anyway, here are the directions...uh good luck
Person: *stumbling over words*  I'm really....I didn't mean...
Me: *sigh* Please just go.  Have a great day *fake smile*
Person: *dejectedly walking away because I didn't accept their lame apology*


I'm not normally rude BUT I refuse to be like "oh honey its okay...honest mistake." No!  You are a jerk!  You basically just called me fat because I had a pooch!  It wasn't like a f**king beer belly, it was literally just slightly distended because I'd just finished a bowl of f**king pasta.  It went away in like 20 minutes.  I didn't overeat, it just doesn't have anywhere to hide while digesting...I am not that f**king big.  On top of that, it's that time where my tummy is puffy anyways (have I mentioned I hate being female sometimes?!?!) so it was a little more exaggerated than normal.  That still gives you zero excuse for assuming there was a baby in there.  One, none of your f**king business...you literally just stumbled upon my office...I do not KNOW you!  Two, even if I did semi-know you...still none of your f**king business UNLESS I tell you.  Just saying.  Quit being rude!

Anyone else have the sudden urge to "switch teams"?

No? Yea me neither soooooo why are people freaking the f**k out?  After the ruling I did not have the sudden urge to leave my husband for a woman...I did feel the need to wrap myself in rainbow but that is just me..I like rainbows. 

Sorry, this one is not a silly NOLA Gurl post...just a warning. 


I LOST 4 "friends" on FB the other day when I posted about the Supreme Court ruling.  I didn't even say anything about it, I just posted it with a smiley face.  I went from 444 friends to 440 friends.  I only noticed because I remembered 444...it kinda stuck out.  Clearly they weren't my "friends" if they deleted our online friendship over a difference of opinion. 

It is equal rights. . .that is it in a nutshell.  It isn't some hedonistic witchcraft that will cause people to suddenly change.  It is just the country saying you can marry the PERSON you love regardless of the bits they have.  I personally think that is wonderful.  If your religious beliefs think that is "wrong", okay then...you probably shouldn't marry someone with the same bits as you.  But it also means you shouldn't engage in intercourse with people with the same bits either (I swear I heard someone who has had relations with both men and women bash same sex marriage in the name of religion, that makes ZERO sense).  Anyways, those are your beliefs, you follow them but you can't force other people to adhere to them just because you believe in them. 

I don't believe cinnamon should be slathered on anything I am eating but that doesn't mean I am going to try to create a law to force everyone else to not have it because I don't like it. If you like it, good on you...I will CHOOSE not to partake in it.  I guess I am just different (in the best possible way, ha!).

Someone's sexual preference will not change you...it will not change your kids...it will not change anything outside of that person's relationship.  I am so tired of hearing people say "I don't want my kids exposed to this...they will get ideas!" Honey, if your "kids" get "ideas" from this then they already were starting to realize they like persons of the same gender.  Being around gay people (or exposed to gay couples) doesn't make you gay...its not a f**king disease!  You can't catch it!  Quit being a @$$hat.  If you don't want to be friends with them or you want to alienate your family because of it, fine so be it but quit spouting your idiocy around me because it is giving me a headache. If you feel following that mantra will "save" you, okay then but quit trying to "save" the rest of us. . .we know what your religion says and we choose to believe differently.  I personally don't think anything is wrong with marriage between any person...unless it is between a 30+ yr old and a minor.  In that case I don't care what gender you prefer...you are a creep, don't do that.  And if you are a 30+ yr old in "love" with a 16 or 17 year old...just, just wait the two years...don't create a controversy over something that may not be real.  Moving on...

Things I've heard since the ruling that made me stabby:

1.)  "I am accepting of that choice.  We told my sister we accept her for who she is 100%, and that was 20 years ago but we made sure she knew she can't bring her girlfriends to family functions because we don't want our kids exposed to that." Sweetheart that is the exact opposite of acceptance and the fact that you've known for 20 years she is a lesbian and you STILL refuse to let her bring her partner around makes me very, very sad. 

2.)  *insert random bible verse* Ummm so are you going to want to enforce all bull$hit "rules" from the bible?  You do know it was written by MAN.  God didn't really write it...he "influenced" it but it was still written by MAN and it contains HIS biases no matter how you try to spin it.  It was also written quite a long time ago...things change...even religion needs to evolve.  Or would you rather condemn me because I am a woman and *insert biblical rule saying I should be stoned for whatever because I have lady parts*.  My point is if you believe it, fine but not everyone is required to believe in the same things you do (that's the whole point of freedom of religion).  Get over it. 

3.) "I hope they are ready for *insert stereotypical marriage issue* because that's what they'll get now."  You are a special kind of stupid.  You do know these people who want to get married have been in relationships...many VERY long term.  Just because they suddenly have the right to marry doesn't mean they suddenly have all the work that comes with a marriage.  They've already had THAT piece...this is the legal part.  The socially accepted part.  It isn't about your stupid "oh now they are married, no sex" mantra.  It is about them being FAMILY.  They are now able to legally be family so that if one, god forbid, is ill or hurt they have a right to be by their side.  Among other things you are privy to, like shared health insurance or life insurance or I dunno, just being acknowledged as a real couple!  How would you like it if your spouse was terminally ill but you couldn't be by their side because you are Italian and they are Canadian and we just don't recognize that as a REAL relationship.  Sounds silly doesn't it. . .Come on!

4.) "I am fine with them getting married but they shouldn't be able to have or adopt kids.  You shouldn't want to bring up kids in that kind of household.  It's hard enough being a kid, much less to THOSE kind of parents." *weeping inside*  That is one of the most horrible things I have ever heard.  You are one of the reasons kids from THOSE types of parents have issues.  EVERYONE deserves the opportunity to be a parent.  I mean the same screening process should apply for adoption (gender preference aside, no one legitimately crazy should be given a child) but NOT whether or not they are gay...that shouldn't matter.  So the lesson here.  Before you start dating someone of the same sex, have a relationship with someone of the opposite sex...procreate with them...leave them...obtain full custody and then be with someone of the same sex.  Problem solved...Okay...that was COMPLETE sarcasm.  Sorry, if I went too far. 

*ugh* I gave myself a migraine...these are my opinions...you don't have to agree with me...I won't stop talking to you because we have different beliefs.  Let's just agree to, uh, disagree. Kay, thanks, bye. 


P.S. From today forward...it is just MARRIAGE...at least for me. 

You are the reason we can't have nice things!

People...are...so...stupid! Sorry but while individuals can be intelligent, people en masse are morons. This makes me stabby!

This isn't about work, it is shockingly about...Dogs.  Yea, I said dogs!  If you know anything about me you know I love animals.  I love all dogs big and small.  I get REALLY angry when people judge a dog just because he/she is of a certain breed.  But that doesn't mean I think you should be a careless pet owner to "prove" your "aggressive" dog is actually an angel. 

My convict (who is considered an aggressive breed) is a big baby.  He is a loveable, snuggable, sweetheart (with a bad rep).  Don't get me wrong he will protect me, my husband and the other animals in a flash, we are his pack.  He loves going for walks.  As a precaution he gets muzzled.  He is fine with it, well he hated it at first but he's very powerful and I don't want to take a chance that he gets the wrong vibe from someone/another dog because I wouldn't be able to stop him (unlikely but I don't like to tempt fate). 

So the other day, as I have been for the last couple weeks, I took Convict and Speedy on an early evening walk.  As we were heading down the street I noticed some neighbors outside (a lady and two very young kids), so I crossed the street (dog owner courtesy).  As I was passing I noticed their two pits hanging out on the front lawn.  I thought NOTHING of it.  I have big dogs, if they are out front they are tethered.  Suddenly I hear the pitter patter of dog nails on the sidewalk behind me.  *thinking* "$hit!".  The two pits have crossed the street and have blocked our path.  As I said before I don't judge breeds, had they been any other breed I would have had the same concern because I DON'T know these dogs.  And they were HUGE, not tall but solid, massive muscle.  Convict, thank God, seemed fine, ears up, tail wagging, whining.  Speedy was okay but clearly scared, ears back, tail down.  My neighbors adorable children (who used to ride their bikes next to me while I jogged) came to my rescue, meanwhile their mother (I guess) was on her cell going "oh $hit, oh $hit!" Her freaking out was NOT calming my nerves.  The dogs seemed very friendly but they wouldn't leave my dogs alone and were trying to get to me (not in a scary way, just curious).  My dogs were standing in front of me and moved when they moved... I was starting to get worried my dogs would go into "protect mommy" mode.  The two tiny tots were trying to manhandle their two dogs back across the street but these dogs were as big if not bigger than them so it wasn't really working, the male kept jerking away and hovering over Speedy and I was getting worried the kids would get in the crossfire of a dog fight...which by the way would have ended with my two fur babies in bad shape because they wouldn't have stood a chance!

The kids finally get a handle on them and said "go head lady, we got 'em".  So we start walking, *pitter patter* "f**k!"And they are back, still looked happy but come on!  Mom was still on her phone yelling for the dogs but doing NOTHING ELSE, "WTF!?!"  She disappears and gets her husband...I guess...and he basically just stands in his front yard yelling for the dogs.  Okay now I am getting ANGRY!  Stop being a lazy @$$ and come get your f**king dogs!  At this point they had followed me more than half a block.  This is when I realized one is a female and looks like she just had pups "$hit!!!!!"  The male was doing that "challenge" thing...I think it was playful but it scared the crap outta Speedy who went into protect momma mode (he is like 15 lbs btw) and started growling and snapping air, this triggered Convict who started growling (hackles up), now the pits are growling and I am about to cry, "so this is how it ends *sigh*".  FINALLY the older child yelled something, as I was forcefully saying "NO!" and pulling my two back.  It eventually broke the tension...all dogs started wagging their tails again.  The CHILDREN ended up leashing their dogs and going home.  I thanked them profusely and continued my walk. 

My point is the pits were great dogs.  They were insanely sweet and clearly loveable (like most of them are).  My problem was why tempt fate???  You never know what could trigger ANY dog.  Speedy being a prime example...hes a bleeding Hound mix and tried to scare off a pit that was 4 times his size!  Look, I don't care if you have a pitbull or a chihuahua, it shouldn't be off a leash outside of a fenced in yard or dog park!  I was attacked by a miniature poodle one day while jogging because the owner let him/her out front without a leash.  The f**king dog was biting my ankles...I had cuts and punctures!!! Had it been a larger dog...I don't even want to think about that. 

Just be responsible!  They already have a bad rep, why take the chance of proving people right???  Seriously, why.take.the.chance, especially with a bigger dog?  They may be perfect angels but they WILL protect their home and humans (pack) as they see needed.  And while they may love you to bits, they may not love me (or that kid on the bike) for whatever reason.  I should be able to walk around my neighborhood with or without my dogs and not have to worry about being attacked by another dog(s).  You want them out front?  Buy a lead, they are $10-$20 at Walmart. 

Why do you care so much?!?!?

Okay time to be serious for a second.  So I have this "friend" on Facebook.  I put friend in quotes because although we were kinda tight in school we have drifted apart and based on recent posts they are insane now.

Excuse me while I become a broken record but like I've said before EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion(s).  You can have them all day long but once your start forcing your beliefs/opinion(s) on others that NEGATIVELY affects them I want to cover you in paper cuts, roll you in salt and throw you into a pool of lemon juice.

You can be religious, that is fine.  If your religion says that being homosexual is wrong, fine (I guess).  I loosely (key word) follow the same religion but I have a very, very different belief.  These people are just like you and me.  They are human and sorry to burst your bubble but they were also made in God's image so to say.  Some immensely religious people from our youth are gay and that is OKAY!  They were brought up just like us, you can't tell me they were suddenly "corrupted by Satan" or whatever nonsense you have been blabbing all over the inter-webs.  You want freedom of Religion, freedom of speech, just FREEDOM to be you but you don't want these people to have the same?  Why?!?!?! Because they are different?  If you didn't know their preference would you still treat them like they have a horrible disease?  No you wouldn't...so why does it matter to you?!?!?!

How does a gay couple getting married affect you exactly?!?!?!  Because they like someone of the same sex they are evil...bad...corrupt and getting married would enhance that somehow????  I know enough people to know that they are 100% the same as us in every aspect except who they are attracted to.  They just want to be happy with who makes them happy...WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH!?!?  Are you scared your children will *gasp* be gay?!?!  And what if they are?  It wont be because they saw two guys kissing...it isn't a freaking lifestyle choice.  If they are attracted to the same sex there is no changing that...it is just who they are so stop trying to change them! I'd be more worried that a serial killer moved in next door.  A gay couple wont murder you in your sleep, they'll probably bring you a bottle of wine and try to be your best friends...ya know like a normal couple because that is all they are, a NORMAL COUPLE.  Stop putting awful things on your Facebook.  You sound like a crazy person!!!

Them: *posts article about "gay marriage" in their area* "OMG, this better get overturned!  They'll start spreading this like the plague!!!"
Me:  *thinking* Did you just compare "gay marriage" to plague??? Are you f**king kidding me?!?!? 


Just note that I'm not associated with them anymore.  A while back I posted something about two of my friends getting married in another state, "OMG (Insert Friend name) and (Insert other friend name) are getting married in (insert state name) today!!!" It was meant to be happy.  I posted the exact same effing thing when my BFF and her husband got married last year.  But on this one, swear to God they commented with "OMG how horrifying!  I can't believe they are doing that to you!!!" Ummmm what?!?  They think just because we knew each other and are both Catholic that my post was meant to be negative.  Why would I TAG them if I was trying to be an @$$????  I responded with "I am happy for them, they are my friends." They responded with "you should know that it is wrong and are guilty by association." Guilty of what?!?!  I ended up deleting the exchange because I didn't want my friends to see it.  I instead messaged them my well wishes.  I am surprised they left me as a friend on FB since I associate with such "heathens", I should have deleted them then but I forgot about them honestly.

Then recently they went on a rant about a transgender child who was wanting to use the girls bathroom because he identifies as female.  They were going bat$hit about him just wanting to peep on the girls and that he was a perv and all this other really awful stuff.  I think they went so far as to say  something about transgender persons being monsters and accepting them would be the "downfall of society" and the beginnings of "Armageddon".  For one she is a CHILD, stop it!  Second, she was asking because she was getting bullied horrifically in the boys bathroom.  There were other things posted about this topic.  One about a female in the army who identified as male and another that happened at a gym.  The army sided with my "friends" beliefs, the gym sided with mine.  Can you picture the comments that happened?!?!?  They were awful...(I finally blocked them).  Mind you I saw these articles on other pages as well but they weren't posted with hatred. 

Seriously the things they said made me want to cry.  Doesn't your religion teach you about acceptance????  Teach you to love EVERYONE???  I seriously don't think Jesus was like "love everyone...except that guy...don't love him, he is different".  I don't see this type of discrimination often because I happen to be "straight" and tend to surround myself with people who think like me. But when I see it I want to build a wall and protect all those who experience this type of hate.  No one deserves to be treated poorly just because they are "different".  That goes for EVERYONE not just who you choose to believe is like you. 

I got you babe!

Hahaha, whomever was DJ-ing early this morning on one of the local radio stations...you sir/ma'am WIN for today! 

I woke up as usual to my blaring phone alarm.  I went in my bathroom to get ready and turned on the radio.  I was immediately greeted with the refrain of "I got you babe".  Which made me think of Groundhog Day (the movie).  Then I realized today IS Groundhog Day and I just giggled and giggled. 

You see I love that movie.  I have seen it countless times.  And every time, every single time, it still gets me.  It has a profound message.  This @$$hat of a weatherman is forced to relive the same mundane day over and over and over.  To the point where he does ridiculous things, does wonderful things and even kills himself a few times only to be awakened again by the iconic voices of Sonny & Cher and realize it is yet again Groundhog Day. 

It is a second chances movie.  He is forced to keep reliving the same day until he gets it right.  Fate/the universe/some deity stepped in (probably Gabriel...dang trickster) to change his path.  How many people wish for something like this?  I mean not exactly like this but to learn a lifetime of mistakes in "one day" so that for the rest of your life you can make the better choice.  You can learn why you shouldn't be horrible to others just because you feel like you are better then them (you should already know this but whatever).  Seriously, don't be a like Luci...don't be a "great big bag of dicks".  Clearly there will still be hardships and bad decisions but for the most part this guy learned to be a better person, that has to mean something. 

Anyways, kudos to you local radio DJ, you made my morning and made me want to go home and watch Groundhog Day for the umpteenth time!  The only thing that would have made me giggle more is if  it was Tuesday and I also heard "Heat of the Moment".  That my friend would have been EPIC. 

It is not 1920, at least last time I checked

If I am right, and I usually am, it is in fact 2015.  A time where we are not governed by the ridiculous standards of our grandparents (great grandparents) time.  Women are not just seen as an accessory for a man...they are their own people...with their own careers...with their own mind.  It hurts my brain every time I hear someone say something that sounds like it came out of the early 1900's.  I will sum it up...er, well list it out, below.  And note that I know this does not define everyone...I am just saying I have been shocked to hear such things in today's society.

1.) "Oh my God!  Did you hear she's pregnant???  She's not even married! Such a shame."

Um...first what does being married have to do with having a baby???????????  Last I checked it takes two to tango...why are we focusing on the woman here?  Who cares if there is or isn't a husband in the picture.  $hit happens people!  We are a free loving society...not many people wait till marriage to have $ex so quit being so judgmental. It isn't a shame.  What is a shame is it was probably completely unplanned which means a lot of things are going to change for her (and him).  They need our support not our sideways stares and hushed whispers. 

2.)  "She got knocked up on purpose!" 

Yes there are women who have done this but come on.  Accidents do happen ya know and again there was a guy there who had to contribute.  You think your sig other is trying to get PG on purpose wrap that $hit up son or don't sleep with her, you do have a say ya know.



3.)  "Well now they have to get married, for the baby."

Really...that is your take away here???  Sure lets force marriage on people who had a whoops.  Lets create a potential hostile situation where two people who maybe barely know each other or weren't meant to be married are coerced into it because their sexual exploits created a new life.  This just creates a higher divorce rate and a bad situation for the little one.  A baby does not equal must get married.  If at some point it happens, great, but don't force it because you are having a baby.

4.)  "Make an honest woman out of her."

I am going to nut punch you!  I am not even addressing this one further.

5.)  "You ruined my life!" 

Wow!  While I understand having a child is a big deal...saying it ruined a life is going a bit far.  And again...you took part in this.  To make a baby you had to insert tab A into slot B.  It's not like she siphoned off your little swimmers without your permission or he put them in you without permission (forced sexual content excluded).  If you aren't ready to support another life, maybe you should have thought about that before you did the horizontal mambo. 

6.)  "I pulled out, she must have cheated on me!"

WTF are you smoking?!?  Sex ed 101...pulling out doesn't work.  There is still a chance some can get through...this isn't her fault...man up!  Take some responsibility.



7.) "You can't keep it!" or "You have to keep it!"

They can do what they want...  I am not touching the pro life/pro choice debate with a 10 foot pole but I am saying if she does have the baby, adoption is a solution...if dad wants him/her okay but you can't tell her she has to keep it... just like you can't tell her she can't keep it.  He/she is her baby too...





8.) "I can't believe he is dating her...she has a child!" 

While I understand when you are in your early twenties this can be a slight hindrance it shouldn't dictate whether or not you like a person.  So what if his sig other has child already, I can almost guarantee he isn't a virgin so he very easily could have fathered a child also, even though he hasn't (that we know of). Do not judge her because she has a child, just don't...we should be a forward thinking society..STOP!

       a.) What kills me further is when said person decides he wants to marry this "harlot" and *gasp* 
             adopts her child.  Some people freak out...why?!?  I think that is very
             sweet..admirable...treating someone else's child as your own.

       b.)  Also, for some reason when the situation is reversed the guy is seen as almost a hero. "He 
             has a child.  He is clearly a good man if he is so involved in his child's life."  There isn't the
             same stereotype for him (sometimes there is but not usually).

Single dad = hero, single mom = whore...

what the actual f**k...just no.

Maybe it is just in the Deep South but I doubt it.  Life isn't easy...add a kid to it and it gets even harder but we should NOT be judging people based on this.  There are so many other more important situations we can focus on instead of whether or not a woman happens to have a child out of wedlock. 

That is so NOT okay

We all have self confidence issues.  Well most of us do.  There are days where you can't bear to look at your reflection or just plain don't want to leave your house because you think you look bad or feel bad about yourself.  It is unfortunate but it happens to the best of us.  The flip side of that is when you start feeling better about yourself so your confidence soars to new heights and it is evident to everyone that you are happy.  I am not talking bi-polar mood swings just the normal we all get down in the dumps about our appearance, etc type stuff. 

What happens a lot of times though is you are on the upswing but you aren't quite back to your normal semi-confident self yet so you mask it.  I mask it by forcing myself to smile and have fun.  I personally don't think that is a bad thing but a shrink may disagree.  It actually helps me to get back on track faster.  Others mask it differently by putting others down and that is why I say "that is so NOT okay". 

Just because you feel down about yourself does not mean you have the right to put everyone else down.  Yea you might be on the "upswing" of your whatever but trying to make everyone else look bad is not okay.  So you started working out, good on you but that doesn't give you an open to make a snide comment about someone else's weight...not even in jest (and saying "no offense"doesn't negate what was said).  So you got a new electronic doohickey that everyone else has, awesome sauce, just because someone else has a different brand or version does not make yours/theirs better/worse.  They do the same effing thing...why is this now a competition.  You have problems at home...I am sorry...I really am but do not deflect your home issues onto everyone else in public.  Just because you want to have complete control of your sig other doesn't mean everyone else does...so when they are inquisitive it's not to be controlling...it's probably because they either didn't hear or are curious. 

But the worst...the absolute worst is putting down a child.  And don't tell me "I'm just kidding".  There are ways to be sarcastic and funny with kids where they know you are being sarcastic and funny and still love them to bits.  If a child looks at you like you ripped their heart out, they do not get the joke.  You just crushed them.  And honestly, if you would have spoken to me that way I probably wouldn't have laughed either.  Instinctively we pick up on underlying tones.  You can smile all day long but something in the tone of voice, in the glint of the eyes, hints that you aren't really joking.  In addition...who the eff calls a child or baby ugly?!?!?  What is so wrong in your life that you have to say something that horrible?!?!  Yea it may not have been said to their face but what is the point of even voicing that thought.  Saying a child is bratty...okay I get that I guess but flat out saying an innocent baby is ugly...what is wrong with you?!?!

Sure some kids are traditionally cuter than others but come on!  I don't think I have ever looked at a child and thought "ugly".

It is not in my nature.  I tend to see beauty in everyone.  Not kidding, I have always been this way which is why people always said I dated "below my standards" or was "too pretty" to be friends with some.  It is because I saw past everything our society says is "unattractive".  It is obvious these persons are going through something and are lashing out.  Yes they may tell us about all the wonderful things happening to them and complain about the mundane stuff but clearly something else is going on.  We are well out of our uninformed youth, being mean/a bully to anyone, much less a child, is uncalled for 100% of the time. 

Truthfully, I don't think some people realize what they are doing.  It is like a defense mechanism but that still isn't an excuse.  And responding with "I am not apologizing for being me" doesn't wipe the slate clean either.  You can be you without crushing someone else.  It concerns me how oblivious people are about their actions.  What if something you said or did because you felt bad about yourself pushed someone over the edge?!?  How would you feel knowing your "joking" caused someone to choose anorexia or to otherwise hurt themselves?!?!  It happens, I witnessed it first hand.  Uncles "joking" with their niece about her weight because she was ever so slightly bigger than the other kids.  She almost died!  She nearly starved herself to death!!! It was flipping baby fat you assholes!  Was I the only one that saw past the "unattractive" body type of a CHILD???  Because of you she damaged her body and mind!

**NOTE** I am not talking about goodhearted joking amongst friends/family.  I am talking about the words in jest laced with venom said for no apparent reason. 

These aren't my images, I google searched them to make a point.

"I know it hurt, but he/she means well."

This is one of the stupidest justification for someones actions!  I've used this excuse before to justify the actions of ex-boyfriends, friends, family, co-workers, etc.  We all have.  It's the "they don't mean to be an asshole, that's just how they are" in a different form.  It is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo lame!  This is not an excuse.  If you mean well then don't be a jerk!  You should know by the time you are in High School (if not way sooner) what the difference is between right and wrong.  You should be able to, on some level, know that some topics are off limits.  Or at least what the limits are.  No one is that oblivious to body language. Have some tact people!  Look we all say stupid things sometimes but I've noticed more people feel the need to voice their stupid all the time instead of occasionally.

Yes, I understand that some need to be treated harshly to get them back to reality but sometimes I want to slap people for being utterly insensitive.  You can be a supportive friend/family member/whatever and not come off as a complete douche nozzle.

Examples:
A)  You know someone trying to have babies who hasn't been successful.  Unless you know for a FACT, I'm talking 100% positive, that they will be comforted by religious shit (sorry but sometimes it is shit), I do not recommend sending them anything.  Because I can almost guarantee the "Don't worry God has a plan" email will make some struggling women lose their cool.  Yea you "mean well" but if they aren't outright asking for that kind of support you aren't helping. If anything you just created a blubbering mess that others (like their husbands or best friends) are going to have to mop up.  And don't give me the "they mean well crap".  If you mean well then be supportive, quit reminding them that God hasn't blessed them with a boo boo through electronic prayer.  That kind of comfort is a trigger, you don't need to pull it.  If you want to pray for them, then pray for them.  Prayers don't need an audience to be answered. 

B) You know someone trying to lose weight.  Stop, just effing stop.  If they do not bring up the subject, keep your pie hole shut.  Saying "you look great" is one thing, that's nice.  But doing the over the top "Oh my GOD, look at you!  You're like a totally different person." And then proceeding to bring it up to everyone you see in front of said person, saying "don't they look great, you must have lost so much weight!".  You aren't being nice...yea they may look great but you are calling attention to them by going overboard. It's embarrassing and makes everyone uncomfortable. 

B1) Also, unless said persons ask for weight loss advice or healthy eating advice don't give it.  If someone says "OMG, I need to work out" that is not an opening for you to say anything, unless it is "OMG me too" or "why?  You look fine to me *shrug*".  Now if they say, "hey I need to work out...have any suggestions?" Feel free, that is an opening. 

C)  "Have you thought of NOT dying your hair?  You know it causes damage. *picks up a piece with two fingers like it has the plague*" Um, have you thought of not being a twat booger?  What's it to you if someone does or does not dye their hair???  What does someone else's physical appearance have to do with your happiness?  Maybe dying their hair makes them feel better about themselves!  Why do YOU feel the need to make a big deal about it.  You don't mean well, you aren't looking out for their well being, you are being an asshat.  I don't care if they dyed their hair purple...it is their hair, bugger off!

D)  "You have to buy an SUV!  If you want kids you can't drive them around in a *gasp* car!!!!!  Do you want your baby to die???" What on Earth are you smoking???  That is mean, hurtful and just dumb.  Of course I don't want my nonexistent kids to die.  But my "little bitty" car has a better safety rating then your over sized gas guzzler.  The reason my car is "more dangerous" isn't because of my car at all.  It is because idiots like you who buy giant vehicles and don't know how to operate them, therefore putting the rest of us in danger.  I am not over extending myself because people like you don't know how to drive.  Shut up!  You don't mean well, you are an idiot.  If you want safer roads, start with yourself.  If you want an SUV, good on you, learn how to drive it.  My BFF has a ginormous SUV thing but I am cool with it because she knows how to drive it and park it!

Here is a bit of advice.  Everyone is entitled to an opinion but unless someone asks for it keep it to yourself.  Otherwise you are intentionally hurting someone.  There is no excuse for it, you are being hurtful just to be hurtful even if you try to justify it with "but I mean well".

NOTE: 

Obviously this does not apply to someone who is endangering themselves.  I guess for instance the hair dye comment is totally acceptable if it is causing physical harm to said person.  But as said before, there are better ways to bring it up.  Don't be an asshat!