I thought it was a pool boy?

So lately work has been just a beating.  I have multiple projects that are consuming my life along with normal day to day so I am slightly short tempered. With that said the other day I was standing at my counter with my laptop trying to help with phones.  90% of the time the pups are quiet but if someone comes to the door all bets are off.  

Well the doorbell rang and thankfully my customer just laughed and said his dogs are the same.  I ignored it and figured whomever it was (probably someone promoting a candidate in the upcoming election) would get the hint and leave.  I managed to quiet them down so I could finish helping him but about 2-3 min later I hear a light knock on the door.  I was off the phone but was like for f**ks sake go away!

I opened the door ready to unleash hell on the door to door campaign person I assumed it was when a very attractive young man turned around and smiled.  I stopped pre-fuss with a dog poking her head between my legs and kinda open mouthed blankly stared. He caught me off guard because he was fit-ish, tall, in scrubs and had a messenger bag, no flyers or signs.  The folllowing hilarity happened next.

Me: Uh....Hi....can I help you?

Him: *with a confidant and happy smile* I'm here for your Physical Therapy

Me: Uhhhh no

Him: Yes, didn't your Doctor call?

Me: *confused stare*

Him: *still smiling* For your back.  

Me: What address are you looking for?

Him: You aren't Miss Smith....are you....?

Me: *trying not to laugh* No...I think you are looking for my neighbor....she's older and fell recently.  

Him: *Smile drops* Oh....oh that makes more sense...okay...um can you point me in the right direction

Poor guy clearly didn't read his patient's age or he thought it was a typo and was super happy to have a semi young and attractive patient.  I'm not being cocky!  He seemed just as shocked by my appearance & smiled and I did have on makeup & my hair was fixed....for once. 

But all I could think about after he said "I'm here for your Physical Therapy" was who sent me a stripper ?!?!?! Or ya know...those...uh....movies... "I'm here to clean your pool" *bow chica bow wow* and about died laughing.  

It's a 10 and a half...

It begins in a fight for our lives!  We are running, so much running through a Sci-Fi style city/space port.  I mean full speed sprinting for me...I gots the tiny legs.  I can hear people yelling all around me but I honestly don't know who I am with. 

I know I am with a group but we are fleeing from some angry jerks so they are pushing/pulling me along, just short of picking me up and running with me because I'm just not as fast.  My vision is starting to tunnel, my chest is burning, and I don't think I can go anymore.  Finally we come around the bend and fling ourselves through an open door.  Its a ship and we are immediately preparing for take-off.  As the door slams we can hear the angry screams and banging from our pursuers. 

I collapse on the cool grated floor out of breath.  As my vision begins to clear I can finally take in my surroundings.  It's a bright, almost sterile room.  Everything is basically silver toned.  Its not familiar but it still feels safe, almost like home.  All I can think about is I want a nap and a shower and start to close my eyes.  Suddenly a head of brown hair pops into view and asks in the most chipper voice, why I am laying on the floor.

The hair frames a shadowed familiar face but I can't quite place him.  He helps me up and says something about humans sleeping in the strangest places which makes me stop and try to remember something.  I take in the rest of my shipmates, 7 total.  They all feel like friends but I can't make out their faces.

The one that helped me up says something about needing to go home now because that's where the device is hidden.   

We are running again, this time at sunset through a ravaged town.  The ground is red dirt, the buildings are tattered from a war we seemed to have landed in the middle of.  My legs are burning but my new friend is basically dragging me behind him.  We've lost our friends, they've all been captured and we are trying our best not to be captured also.  We can see the open door, we are so close to escaping when pain blossoms in my back and I fall to my knees on the ground.  

I've been shot, I'm yelling for him to leave me but he wont.  He tries to pick me up but I am in so much pain I can't help and keep falling.  The world goes black.  I wake up on a hay mattress to someone caressing my face and softly saying they are sorry.  I open my eyes and it's night time so not much light, I can't focus but I know its my friend talking to me.  I think he's crying.  I tried to say something but I passed back out.  

The next time I wake up it's morning.  I'm laying on my side and my friend is lying next to me holding my hands.  When he realizes I am awake he gives me the biggest hug ever and keeps saying "I'm sorry".  I asked why he keeps apologizing and he says because it's his fault I am hurt, which I vehemently protest. 

 

He tells me I've been asleep for 4 days and he thought I was going to die.  He knows our friends are also being kept here and all seem to be a little beat up but okay otherwise.  We talked about...something and it ended with me falling asleep, a very gentle kiss on the forehead and a sigh.  

Sometime passed and we came up with a plan to escape and free our friends.  The device was set to go off in a few days so we needed to work quick so we could survive and save home(?). When I was feeling better and we were putting our plan into action I looked up at my friend and my brain said "that's the Doctor".  Now he didn't look like the Doctor.  I mean he kinda looked a little like 10 but like not.  Like 100% not David.  

We somehow convince some soldiers to help us and free our friends.  Things are going sideways, and we are running again.   We all get into two topless humvees.  That's when I realize 2 of our friends are a f**king near duplicate of my friend (seriously subconscious?!?!) and a pretty blonde (come on now!).

Now duplicate and blondie are arguing and then yelling at my friend and it's weird.  It's basically f**king 10 and 10 two but like they aren't 10.  I can't explain it.  But they don't look like him.  I know what he looks like and they were like "wish" versions of 10 (haha).  Like attractive but something was off.  And I had ZERO romantic anything, like we were literally besties.  

Anyways, we are speeding away from the prison when a rocket goes off and is headed towards the prison we just escaped.  Here is where it goes full nerd, please don't judge me too harshly.  

I scream "No they are going to blow up (wait for it) MY T.A.R.D.I.S!"  And my friend looks at me and smiles and says "Yours, huh?!"  But she's safe...I don't know how I know but I know. 

The two humvees get separated by a high road (very Indiana Jones).  My friend is trying to help the others in the other vehicle and is handing his duplicate a box and says remember (name) said we'd know when we'd need it.  Blondie asks who (name) is.  And a f**king fight breaks out because she is jealous of an old "friend".  

And Oh My God, why is my brain locking me in this insanity!

Something happens and the humvee loses control.  I can feel the floor going out from under me.  My friend grabs me and wraps himself around me as we crash. I can feel the impact and our bodies flying forward and then nothing.  

I woke up in a literal cold sweat and racing heart.  

Here's what is weird to me.  I haven't watched Doctor Who since Jodie regenerated back into David like in October 2022.  It's weird because I usually rewatch some fav episodes or binge a little but I literally haven't watched it in almost a year!!!!! I haven't seen Journey's End in probably 2 years or more.  So why did my brain have a fever dream about 10 and 10 two out of the f**king blue?!?!?!

So like the X-men...?

Weird dreams are my jam lately.  So after falling down a mountain. My subconscious decided to be just plain weird. 

This is one of those jumpy dreams but what I remember is VIVID.  

Anyways so I was in "college".  But it was NOT college.  It was basically a prison camp for gifted individuals.  And I wasn't college age...I was my current age.  Everyone there was of varying ages and had...talents.  Except me.  I was known as the "weirdo" without a talent.  

You see sometime in 2020 (f**k 2020) there was an event of sorts.  This event affected our DNA and certain individuals ended up with a mutated gene causing varying powers.  But not everyone was affected and the ones affected were the minority so the normies were scared of us hence the "camps".   

The reason I was there even without a "talent", is because I had the mutated gene, I just never exhibited anything.  But fear of my potential sent me there, yay humanity *rolling eyes*.

It jumped around alot but I remember a one point being in a cafeteria eating.  I had friends, really good friends, but I was also made fun of a lot because I was basically nothing special.  It sucked but I dealt with it.  Jumping ahead, I was in my "dorm" after being assaulted by some jerks and was having a serious anxiety attack.   Suddenly I was glowing, a rainbow of hexagons blinking around me like some cracked out aura.  As I calmed down they faded.  WTF?!?

It jumped again and I was in an empty classroom freaking out.  I had just been tortured (again?!?) by these guys all in black trying to draw out a "talent".  Once I was alone my weird hexagon aura showed up rapidly blinking all around me.  Except, I was NOT alone.  My friend, who was a scientist that "studied" us but didn't agree with the "camp" situation happened to be in the room. He scared me and I suddenly "blinked away".  I was invisible.  And I only knew I was because he nervously asked where I went.  

It jumped again weeks...months...(?!?) and I was working on controlling my emotions and my talents.  I made a habit of invisibly wandering around campus and into "secure" areas trying to find out what was happening; my scientist friend kept my secret.  

Jumping AGAIN, someone new was brought to the camp.  He was an anomaly.  Apparently he was filming a new movie when he burst into colorful hexagons scaring the bejesus out of his costar.  When they tried to restrain him he disappeared briefly.  No one, including the scientists nor the actor himself, understood  what caused it to manifest as they couldn't get it to really happen again.    

So I sent him a note to meet me in a dark abandoned auditorium (that's not creepy).  I waited invisible in a  seat.  He seemed nervous but in control.  He sat down near me.  I gently caressed  his forearm causing very faint "blinking" but he was unaware of me still and confused why he was "blinking".  I leaned in very close and whispered, I know how to control it.  He burst into a full spectrum of colors and was breathing heavily trying to figure out where I was.  Before he could speak I told him try not to react to me...pretend I wasn't there.  As the blinking calmed a bit, I climbed over him not touching but straddling, hovering just above his lap.  It was like a weird seduction but that wasn't my plan, I could give two $hits about seducing him.  I was no longer alone!  Just as he thought I had left and was relaxing I "ground" down (...grind... you get the idea) and spoke into his ear. "The key is extreme emotion".  It scared the absolute crap out of him & maybe kinda turned him on a bit... He disappeared briefly but in that brief moment he could see me and I could see him...sort of.  WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!? It was just a vague human shape and a color...I was clearly female, pinkish purple and he was clearly male and a royal blue.  He reappeared and as I was contemplating having more fun with him or bolting away, I was punched in the eye.

Wait what?!?!  Who punched me?!?!  I was now awake in a pitch black strange room (Ah, still on vacay) and was seeing "colors" behind my  right eyelid BECAUSE my husband had just backhanded me in his sleep.  Dammit!  That dream was just getting really good! 

The hit wasn't hard, I was fine, and he felt awful. 

Fin

I swear I don't have daddy issues!

I'm on the weird VIVID dream kick again.  I've got a few so I'll just post one at a time.  

Anyways, it starts off in a large city, maybe NYC...maybe Miami...I dunno.  I had an interview in a big skyscraper.  I think my dad got me the interview so he drove me.  Mind you I am closing in on 40 so why would my father drive me to an interview?!?!  Anyway, in addition to myself, we brought a current co-worker & friend of mine whom I've known since college...also not weird at all.  

At this point everything is normal.  I'm dressed in a business suit and heels.  But then we get to the 37th floor and it's a...party....?  Apparently this isn't a normal interview.  It's a social.  So in true NOLA Gurl fashion, I mingled and made friends.  It was a LONG day.  So incredibly long.  I felt like I was there for hours and I had to have been because it was dark outside the windows.  

I was looking for my dad when I heard a commotion.  You see although we were on the 37th floor you could see over a balcony to a mezzanine (is that what its called???).  People were screaming and there were other people running...like....oh God...they were running like....Cheetahs on Speed. No no no no no no!!!!! Now I am scared, I can hear the blood rushing in my ears.  I can't find my dad and there are infected people below me!!!  I am trapped in a skyscraper with f**king 28 Days Later "zombies"!!!!!!!!!!

I call his phone and he picks up.  He left!  He f**king left!  He said I didn't seem to need him so he went home.  I was on the verge of crying asking and I quote "Daddy, why did you leave me?"  To which he responded, "I didn't leave you, I left the situation".  Yea go ahead and Freud that one....moving on.

I found my friend and explained we were stranded.  He was panicking a bit.  He saw the commotion below and was scared.  No one else at the social seemed concerned.  They were like "we are way up high...Zombies can't use the elevator".  I'm sorry, WHAT!?!?! 

Somehow we stole some key fobs and were in the parking garage.  You could hear the inhuman screeching echoing all around.  We were running but so slow...its was like running through sand and pressing key fobs to find a car...ANY CAR!!! My heart was racing.  I was drenched in sweat. Running in heels is stupid! My friend is white as a sheet which is impressive because he is fairly tan. 

We are in a car, he's driving (his driving scares me normally so there is that) and he brings me to my house but its not my house.  He says his uncle has a place in the swamp (MAKES NO SENSE...he is not from here...) and gives me the coordinates.  Not the address...the f**king coordinates!  

Here is where I woke up.  I woke up in a cold sweat and like WTAF.  I went back to sleep wanting to dream of anything else.  But the f**king dream continued.  I woke up, went pee, and went back to sleep and continued the freaking dream.  That NEVER happens!

As I settle back into dreamland, it jumps and me and my husband are driving in the boonies trying to find this place.  Its pitch blank but thankfully no inhuman screeching.  (at this point I knew I was dreaming I had a thought of OMG, why am I still dreaming about this?!?!?!?)  

It jumps again and we are in what looks like a really big plane hanger that's been converted into a makeshift living area.  Its extremely fortified and hidden but we are alone.  No one is there.  The dream has taken on a yellow tint....like dim old light bulb lighting.  I call my friend from a landline (what?!?). He said they are stuck on the freeway (now I know I am dreaming because we call it an interstate or highway) but to make ourselves at home.  So there I am checking out the provisions in the fridge, when out of nowhere a rabid (infected) yorkie comes running at me, I'm screaming, running away as its trying to nip my ankles.   I had to kill it....so I chopped off its head with a knife but...decapitating is not a simple thing so there was sawing...it was...it was not cool.  Do you know how traumatizing that is for a person who loves animals?!?!?!  I mean I wasn't attached to the dog but it was a bit "I am Legend" -ish feeling....

Somehow my geriatric cat is also there and she's been "bitten" but because she is so old, she's fine.  I swear...that was the line of thinking.  Okay then.... apparently if you're old, the virus is like meh, no point.  

The power switched to a generator because I guess society was collapsing *shrug*.  So I was sitting with my husband in the hazy yellow light of a shack in the swamp petting my old but uninfected cat with a decapitated yorkie on the floor just waiting.

I think I'm a Siren...?

Okay maybe not the luring to death part but there is something......there has to be.

I know I've been called a flirt and I know I am friendly but I am not...I don't think I am sending mixed signals...

So I am on an appointment with others from my company. 

I can't say where I was but I can say there was one...individual who...lets just say I wouldn't want to be around him by myself.  He was staring at me and noticed the light pink in the sunlight...he said "Hey gurl, I like yo purty hur". 

Moving on, I was scribbling notes about the appointment and didn't get introduced to the last 2 people to show up so they didn't get my card.  I noticed one wasn't really paying attention to our tech but blew it off.  As we were leaving we all shook hands and skeedaddled. 

Later that afternoon I get a text on my work line from an unknown number.

?:  Hey, this is Bob we weren't cordially introduced earlier.  I just wanted to say hello
Me: Oh, hey.  Nice to "officially" meet you. 
?:  Is this NOLA Gurl?
Me: Yes....
?: I actually wanted to speak but got tied up with *tech*. I Think your real cute got lost for a minute in what I was supposed to be getting right with *tech*. Hope I’m not being to personal?

I didn't know what to do.  He wasn't the first guy, who clearly wanted to scalp me...yay for that but.... On the one hand SOOOOO INAPPROPRIATE.  On the other... Whatever, I called my co-workers.  Because what the heck!

It was suggested not to reply.  Don't even entertain it with a "thanks but no thanks". 

Okay fine...the problem is I have to be around them in the next few weeks!  This is going to be so f**king weird.

I'm sure its innocent but don't do that with a vendor.....  I am a vendor.... its just......I don't know how to voice it but it's just not a good idea to do that...besides the whole HAPPILY MARRIED.  I mean that is a given here.   GAH!

I'm sure he's a very nice guy but.............

I was laughing...now I'm crying...?!?

So I am watching Life in Pieces.  Good show, really funny.  One of the Couples is having issues getting preggo.  So they found a birth mother and are adopting, aw! 

SPOILERS for 5/9/19 Episode!!!!

So the whole episode, I am cracking up.  It's funny.  Then the one couple can't get in touch with the birth mom...she's gone M.I.A.  I have friends who have gone through this....ITS AWFUL!!!!  Anyways, they find out she decided to keep the baby.  I was sad but fine.  Then there is this little boy at the Orphanage who is being all cute and he tells them he waited 5 years but tomorrow he's meeting his family.  So they reserve to truck on.  If little man can wait so can they. 

Then the agent says, he isn't going to a forever home, it's a foster home, he's confused.  And now I'm kinda tearing up.  Then they resolve to adopt him because it's like meant to be or something.  So now I am legit sobbing. 

I dunno why this got me so good.  I watch shows/read books with fertility issues and adoptions and other way sadder stuff.  But this.  THIS scenario...ugly crying.  Not sure what it means but now I'm wanting to go watch Golden Girls or something to cheer myself up. 

I'm blaming it on PMS and lack of sleep.   Maybe I need wine and chocolate...or a nap...who knows.

You know you have too much money when you pay to put baby foreskin on your face

What the actual f**k Hollywood?!?!?!  Look I get it, you want to look younger.  So do I but I draw the line at Korean Baby Foreskin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IFL Science posted this LINK.  I just...what?!?!?

This can't be real.  "Cate Blanchett credits her youthful glow to a treatment that uses the foreskins of Korean newborn babies. Aka, a penis facial."  Oh come on Kate...really...? 

Blanchett told Vogue Australia. "It’s something – I don’t know what it is, or whether it’s just cause it smells a bit like sperm – there’s some enzyme in it so Sandy refers to it as the penis facial."

REALLY?!?!?  It smells like sperm?!?!?  I can't with you people! 

All I can picture is people laying on a table with a bunch of tiny foreskins stuck to their faces!!!!! And that my friend is wrong on soooooooooooooooo many levels.

Its the best I can do.  I refuse to google "foreskin mask". That's just asking for gross stuff. 

Okay the actual name isn't Penis Facial.  "the Hollywood EGF facial. It involves a cleanse, an intensive TCA peel, micro-needling, an electrifying mask, and, finally, FDA-approved Epidermal Growth Factor (EGF) serum."

Hold up, swol up....how do we know its the EGF (Foreskin Goop) making you look younger?!?!  Couldn't it have been the 10 other things you had done BEFORE the dick cream??????

Also, "EGF is derived from the progenitor cells of the human fibroblast taken from Korean newborn baby foreskin" does it only work if its Korean newborn foreskin??? What if we can get you a deal on American or Mexican or Canadian Foreskin...? 

$650 & 2 year waiting list to have ground up baby penis skin rubbed into your freshly needled face. 

If you want a real "penis facial" I'll charge you $250 to sit in a steamy bathroom and let Fetish Frank jizz on your face and then rub it in.  Hell, I bet Frank would do it for free. 

What is even happening?!?!?

Apparently, its synthetically made in a lab...but if it is why does it keep saying Korean Baby Foreskin?!?!!?!?!

Side Note:  When I googled "y'all need Jesus gif" I got the below and now I am so confused!!!

What is wrong with me?!?!

My brain sometimes does things that make me laugh hysterically...which can make me look a tad bit nutty when I'm in public.  I was listening to the radio and heard a song.  A song I've heard a hundred times...but this time my brain did a thing...

"I'm Already There" - Lonestar

He called her on the road

From a lonely cold hotel room - Those are the worst

Just to hear her say I love you one more time

But when he heard the sound 

Of the kids laughing in the background

He had to wipe away a tear from his eye

A little voice came on the phone

Said "Daddy when you coming home"

He said the first thing that came to his mind - Awwwwww *tear* isn't that SWEET!

I'm already there - Oh...um okay......

Take a look around - Seriously, Where....where are you....?

I'm the sunshine in your hair - That's nice

I'm the shadow on the ground - if Doctor Who has taught me anything its don't trust shadows!!!

I'm the whisper in the wind - OMG The Trees are talking!!! Don't put on the headband!!! The forest is ALIVE!

I'm your imaginary friend - If the Exorcist has taught me anything its that Imaginary friends are usually DEMONS!!!!

And I know I'm in your prayers - a tad presumptuous.  

Oh I'm already there - Creeeeepy!

She got back on the phone

Said I really miss you darling - Aw

Don't worry about the kids they'll be alright - Isn't that a movie?

Wish I was in your arms - Daaaaaw

Lying right there beside you - Brown chicken brown cow!!!!

But I know that I'll be in your dreams tonight - Oh ho ho ho naughty naughty!

And I'll gently kiss your lips - Wait...wait...are we phone sexing...?

Touch you with my fingertips - This is really sounding like phone sexing....

So turn out the light and close your eyes - OMG YOU ARE TOTALLY PHONE SEXING!!!!

I'm already there - well good for you, I need a little longer

Don't make a sound - Yea because the kids will think mommy is being murdered!

I'm the beat in your heart - is this a metaphor for a pulsating...never mind

I'm the moonlight shining down - Mood lighting!

I'm the whisper in the wind - yea, whispering "sweet nothings" through the phone...

And I'll be there until the end - Well you better stay till she's done!

Can you feel the love that we share - excuse me sir, this is getting inappropriate!

Oh I'm already there - do you have to keep reminding me...?

Theres another chorus but you get the gist.  Why am I like this?!?!? I've always thought this was the sweetest song.  Now whenever I hear it, I'll only be able to think naughty things.  

SIDE NOTE - I still love this song and think its a beautiful song.  I just had a moment of immaturity, that was so funny to me, I thought I'd share.

Calm down there, Hannibal

Went get lunch...almost became lunch....

Me: *standing in line being oblivious*
Guy: You smell delectable
Me: *trying to ignore the conversation behind me*
Guy: *tap tap* Seriously what is that scent, I could devour you
Me: *wtf* *turn around* Excuse me?
Guy: Sorry but whatever your wearing smells so incredibly tasty
Me: *blushing* Right...um its an oil perfume I just got as a sample...

Guy: *looking dazed* What scent is it?!

Me: Uhhhh I...don't....know...I remember something about pomegranates and marshmallows...
Guy: Since I can't eat you, guess I'm getting pomegranates and marshmallows for dinner

Me: *jaw drop* what?!

Guy: No...wait...no...sorry....
Me: Its...wow...ok....*hysterical laughter*
Guy: *beet red* Jesus...seriously...sorry!!! 

I ordered my food and went and hid in the corner until it was ready....

What just happened?!?!?  What is in my new perfume...?!?!?  Who says that?!?

I really don't think he was hitting on me intentionally.  I don't even think he realized what he was saying...maybe...was I being punk'd?!?!!?

SIDE NOTE - this was paraphrased but you get the gist and he truthfully was CREEPY about it!

I blame day drinking...on the beach...without properly hydrating...all while in the blistering sun....

I had the absolute most f**ked up dream while on vacay.  I mean I clearly have odd dreams from time to time but this one was exceptionally weird and disturbing.

I don't recall how it really began but somehow I was abducted by a man.  A very disturbed man.  He was average looking not bad but not super attractive.  He was skinny fit, blondish hair, and scary smart.  He kind of looked like the actor playing the Unibomber on that discovery show "Manhunt" or whatever...maybe I should lay off the crime shows...

Anyways, I was abducted by this person and forced to be his wife.  But not like locked in a basement.  I was taken to a community in the middle of f**king no where and there were other "couples" there.  The kicker, I wasn't the first "wife" he brought.  They said things like "I hope you stick around longer than the last few" (OMG what happened to the others?!?!) *gulp*.

Now, I am not one to be a victim but for some reason I was helpless...like I knew I couldn't fight back because he threatened me or my family or something.  So I played the part in front of others and fought like hell in our "house".  Eventually I was forced to fulfill my "wifely" duties *shudder*...thank GOD my subconscious didn't let me remember that part...I know it happened in the dream but I have no memory of it.  So now this is starting to sound like that Chevy Stevens book "Still Missing".

Side Note - READ THIS BOOK!!! Its freaking amazing!!!

Anyways, this "community" is Stepford-esque but in a setting like "The Village".  I had to wear modest clothing and wasn't really "allowed" interact with the men even as friends.  Also, women were not seen as smart...which if you know me, you know this bugs the $hit out of me, so this part was torturous.  "*shhh* the men are talking, go make me a sammich", etc etc etc.  At some point I realize I am PG but I knew it wasn't crazies somehow (thank goodness).  Guess I was knocked up before I was taken.  My "husband" hates this.  He wants the baby but thinks pregnancy is "gross" and wont touch me (hallelujah!).

I am playing the part to live and get home.  I guess, biding my time to see if I can escape without endangering me or my unborn child.  I wasn't allowed to dance (torture) or swim or run or anything remotely fun because that wasn't lady like and only my husband could see me in that state of undress.  I think at one point I was crocheting, which is kinda cool but I need activity!!!

Moving on dinner each night was in the common area not in the home. One night we had a newbie who was visiting from out of town.  It was this famous-ish person I've mentioned before.  He was the guest of this older woman who clearly was interested in other things besides a friend.  Well even playing the part my personality & intelligence seeped out.

I was punished for this at some point; I think I had a broken arm.  Well this visitor noticed my distress and I guess what I know of him makes my subconscious think he's a good guy.  He was there for a while and would talk to me like a person and not an object which was nice but caused problems with me and my "husband".  Also, he seemed to be not allowed to leave.

It gets a little fuzzy but later he pulled me to the side to find out my real story and I told him we can't do this.  No one can see us talking like this.  He'll kill me...us...he'll kill us.

it jumped a bit and I somehow convinced my "husband" to let me go hiking.  I was only allowed if I wore baggy pants, a baggy shirt, and a hat.  Okay its hella hot but FINE!  So everyday after my chores and other wifely duties...*shudder* (I washed my hands...A LOT) I went for a hike on different trails in the area.  Curious as I am I started going off the paths.  This let me find a gorgeous natural spring with a water fall (where the f**k are we?!?!).  Now my daily hikes consisted of me going to this place, stripping down, and swimming.  It was actually kind of nice.

One afternoon while I was swimming I heard something in the woods.  First thought animal, second thought "husband"...first thought would be SOOOOOOO much better!  I yelled for whomever it was to show themselves and out walks my new friend.  He followed me...oh f**king great!!!

Jumps some more...this is now our secret meeting place (no funny business...just escaping the insanity).  But eventually my story...my REAL story comes out.  He is horrified.  He is captive also but only because his children were threatened...WTF?!?!?  He vows to help us escape and tell our story.

Of course we are discovered by señor crazy but I think I started to wake up so I am not sure what happened.

What?!?!  What normal person has dreams like this?!?!  This is awful!  Like worst case scenario!!  And that's a lot of details...and why was that famous person there?!?!  Yea I like him but I've NEVER dreamed of him before....

Also, I need to stop watching Crime Dramas...but I still need to watch the final season of Broadchurch and I do love me some Criminal Minds/SVU reruns so that's not gonna happen...maybe I should just stop watching Forensic Files before bed...oh and reading...no more reading...yea not gonna happen.