Calm down there, Hannibal

Went get lunch...almost became lunch....

Me: *standing in line being oblivious*
Guy: You smell delectable
Me: *trying to ignore the conversation behind me*
Guy: *tap tap* Seriously what is that scent, I could devour you
Me: *wtf* *turn around* Excuse me?
Guy: Sorry but whatever your wearing smells so incredibly tasty
Me: *blushing* Right...um its an oil perfume I just got as a sample...

Guy: *looking dazed* What scent is it?!

Me: Uhhhh I...don't....know...I remember something about pomegranates and marshmallows...
Guy: Since I can't eat you, guess I'm getting pomegranates and marshmallows for dinner

Me: *jaw drop* what?!

Guy: No...wait...no...sorry....
Me: Its...wow...ok....*hysterical laughter*
Guy: *beet red* Jesus...seriously...sorry!!! 

I ordered my food and went and hid in the corner until it was ready....

What just happened?!?!?  What is in my new perfume...?!?!?  Who says that?!?

I really don't think he was hitting on me intentionally.  I don't even think he realized what he was saying...maybe...was I being punk'd?!?!!?

SIDE NOTE - this was paraphrased but you get the gist and he truthfully was CREEPY about it!

That was a very misleading headline!!!! I was extremely confused...concerned...and a bit grossed out.....

What I saw:

"This Speaker Lets Your Vagina Play Music"

What else am I going to think with that pic and headline other than "If you have enough air coming out of your hoohah to play music you might want to see a doctor ASAP".  Or you may want to contact America's Got Talent because this is a new one in my book!!!!!

My curiosity won out and I read the article.  OMG that makes so much more sense...still weird and disturbing though.  So its a speaker you stick into your vag that plays music for your unborn child.  Ahhhh okay.  Sooooo why would you want to stick a vibrating silicone speaker in your lady parts, when you can just put headphones/a speaker on your belly and be done with it...?  Call me old fashioned but this is weird and unnecessary, right? 

"With Babypod, babies learn to vocalize from the womb."
Ummm while I am all about early development and intelligence...this is weird.  I'm having flashes of a freshly birthed newborn quoting Shakespeare or something.  Oh God what if mom listens to death metal...welcome future serial killer. I'm totally joking...we all know serial killers listen to classical music *see Hannibal Lector*.

"Something great has been achieved, babies start to communicate before birth."
This makes me uncomfortable.  Kicks and stretches and cute stuff on the ultrasound, okay but communication...even remedial forms from a fetus...it sounds very sci-fi esque. *ultrasound noise*  "And here we see your baby at 22 weeks...wait...is he flipping us off?!?  What an @$$hole!"

Ya know what if I ever am able to get preggo, I think I'll just stick to headphones on the belly, if that.  It may be old school but I see no difference in the delivery of the music.   If its in your vag there is still a barrier between the tunes and the baby.  I just...this is just weird!  It seems like a scam to get expecting moms to spend $133 (seriously?!?!?!) on something that may or may not do anything other than piss off your unborn baby because it wants to sleep not be vibrating, while listening to your stupid music.  Dammit mom I hate you and I'm not even born yet!!! This is how the Stewies of the world are created!

You know you are really into a television show when....

You are listening to hold music and all you can picture is Hannibal Lector creating some amazing looking dish and then feeling nausea because you know he eats people parts...and then laughing at yourself because its just classical music, why are you thinking about this?!?  Is it time for lunch yet?  Oh goodness deary, what is wrong with me???

In other news while waiting for a call back I watched this link and now I am tearing up a bit and feel incredibly ridiculous! Stupid fan vids bringing out stupid feelings for a stupid show....*sniffle*

Oh, also I am convinced that one of two things happened yesterday.

1.  I was abducted by aliens
2.  Lightening struck so close to me that is now causing me health weirdness

Reason being is I've suddenly developed a nose bleed problem.  I don't ever get these and when I do, I am ill and its RARE.  But I've had 3 instances since last night.  THREE!  So I started thinking crap I am dying.  But then I was like no, I don't feel bad.  OMG the aliens took me and stuck a probe in my nose.  Or something. Ya know "Because...Aliens" ...I dunno. 

The 2nd reason actually makes more sense to me.  I was driving home in an insane rainstorm and lightening was streaking through the sky.  As I exited the interstate there was a blinding light and a crash so close it rattled my teeth and almost knocked me off the road.  So I am wondering if being that close in proximity to lightening messed up something in me. Oooo, oooo, ooooo maybe I'll develop super powers!  I am getting nose bleeds because my brain is trying to compensate for my new telekinetic ability.  I should see if I can pick up a car with my brain later...or should I start smaller, like a coffee mug or a tissue?  Who knows what could happen!?! I could kill you with my brain. I mean I am not sure why that would happen but it seems logical to me. 

More than likely I have some dry something or another going on and well I am just a little bit of an oddball when it comes to strange happenings in the health department.    Or I am in fact dying...good bye cruel world *dramatic sigh*. 

Wow this post went all over the place...maybe the lightening/aliens also added a bit of ADD. . .