2+1=4

So I pay fairly close attention to what I buy...frugal or whatever.  We got new phones.  As I am sure everyone knows phones no longer come with a brick.  

You get the cord but no brick.  So when we got home I ordered a 2 pack of bricks to fit the new USB-C cords.  

So we have the 2 cords that came with the phone and 2 new USB-C bricks I bought from Amazon (NOT branded Apple).  A few weeks later I got a new iPad.  

The iPad comes with a cord AND an Apple branded brick.  

Some time has passed and I am sitting at the kitchen table.  Hubs says "Oh this must be your iPad brick.  Its heavier and is branded apple".

I was confused.  I swore my iPad was plugged in...in the other room with its charger.  Maybe I grabbed the wrong one. 

The next day I am standing at the counter and pick up one of the two bricks to put it away and it's heavy and has apple on it so I put it down and pick up the other.  It's also heavy and apple branded. WTF. 

I put them next to each other and sure enough they are both heavy duty and Apple.  I KNOW I did not buy any additional apple bricks. Mainly because I am cheap and I can get like 4 off brand for the same price of one Apple. 

Thinking I lost my mind I went look at my order and sure enough I didn't order anything Apple branded.  

We found the two bricks I bought (Ocupwei).  So now we have 4. Two Apple, Two Non-Apple but I only bought the two non-apple and one Apple came with my iPad.  

HOW?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  Are they like Gremlins, if you get it wet they multiply????? Where did the other Apple Brick come from!!??!?!?!?

Top two Amazon....bottom two Apple..... and yes they are all USB-C which we didn't have before

"Attack" on the porch at night

It’s been a rainy few days here.  Like literally monsooning constantly.  So instead of two pools days for the holiday weekend.  We had zero.  ZERO pool days.  That should be illegal.  

Well one of the two days we still went hang out with our peeps.  We had bbq….inside, had some adult beverages and tried to make the best of a crappy day. 

We headed home disappointed but still happy for the bonding time.  As we walked up to the door holding our unused bathing suits I realized leaving the porch light on was not the best idea. 

I knew we would be home after dark so I left it on but I didn't think about little flying annoyances (termites) which were swarming on our porch (GREAT).  

Hubs was like ok, I'ma open the door and we run in. 

So he starts swinging his arm above his head to clear them a bit before opening the door.  I was about a foot or two behind him hands full. 

When suddenly large-ish shadow came flying at me a slapped into my shoulder.  It was dark enough that I had ZERO idea what it was. 

My first thought was "F*******K a bug who shall not be named!" As I started to raise my hand to swat it off of me...it ran up my neck into my hair.

Cue me LITERALLY dropping everything and freaking the f**k out! Screaming "get it off, get it off, get it ooooofff!!!!!!!!!!!!!" in increasingly more high pitched notes.

My panic subsided enough to realize the legs weren't bug like...but soft and sticky.  So I paused my freakout. 

That's when a small reptile face peaked over my forehead and jumped to the garage door. It was a GECKO!!!! He was easily the length of my hand. Which I know I have small hands but that's still a BIG gecko!

As I stood there disheveled and frazzled hubs says"It's really not that big of a deal". 

I wasn't aware I could levitate

It's been a rough couple of weeks personally and professionally.  So I really have begun to cherish my rest.  I started taking these all natural sleep gummies (not those kinds of gummies) on nights when I am particularly stressed. 

Last week was exceptionally harrowing.  So come Wednesday I was pretty done and had some gummies. I was all snuggled up on my side and PASSED THE EFF OUT.  

Now I sleep in short sleeves or tank tops usually so lots of exposed skin.  I also sleep on my side with my bottom arm under the pillow and my top arm wedged under my neck and the blankets over my head. This is important...

I was frolicking my way through dreamland when my sleeping body had an itch.  As per normal human behavior I scratched it.  

This is where my soul left my body!!!!

The itch was in my armpit....when I unconsciously itched something moved.

This is when my brain woke up enough to be like

I instinctively grabbed whatever was crawling in my armpit and it squished.

I LEVITATED out of the bed and somehow floated into the bathroom without touching the floor (that's my story and I am sticking to it).

I turned on the light in a panic and there was a small dead...something between my fingers.  The ONLY thing my brain could think was "OMG OMG OMG its a tiny bug who shall not be named!!!!!!!"

Internal Screaming...that quickly became external whimpering.  Lights were turned on, hubs was confused, bed was torn apart looking for anything else hiding in my safe space!

I saw nothing else. 

I tried to go back to sleep....I really did but it just wasn't happening.  All night I kept thinking something was crawling on me.  

For hours the next day I was like "WHY WAS THAT IN MY BED".  Then around noon I saw a FB post about how bad the stupid swarming termites were the night before.

"Oh my God it was a f**king termite!"  It was small, brownish red and squishy!  It didn't register as a termite because it had already shed its wings.

"OH MY GOD I HAD A TERMITE IN MY ARMPIT!"  Wtf wtf wtf!

General consensus is it came in with the pups and then tried to snuggle me.