Um, that's a negative Ghost Rider. Why is this the normal way of thinking??? Every relationship is different but why must all married couples be seen as having knock down, drag outs? Yea, people argue but if I've learned anything in my life its that screaming doesn't solve anything. If anything it leads to people saying things in the heat of the moment that they regret later.
Do we have disagreements, of course. But we don't yell at each other. We may change our tone but never screaming.
With that said it REALLY pisses me off when people say "If you don't fight, you aren't in a real relationship". F**k you very much! What kind of warped logic is that?!?! Just because we talk it out instead of screaming at each other doesn't mean our relationship is any less "real". If anything I think that shows just how "real" and MATURE our relationship is.
Love does not equal Fighting
Fighting does not equal Love
I mean that is like step one in admitting something might be wrong.
Disagreements are normal. No one is going to agree with their partner 100% of the time. But constant blow ups are NOT NORMAL. "Fighting it out" is not healthy. Well it might be for some, I guess... But if my husband started screaming at me every time we didn't agree, I am 100% certain he would not be my husband.
I really think this is a maturity issue. The squeaky wheel gets the oil kind of thing. Its not my way of dealing with things, and thankfully it isn't his way either. We bicker, we disagree, but we respect each other. I would never degrade him just to make myself heard and he wouldn't do it to me.
So no we do not have "epic" screaming fights. We have raised our voices minimally (which usually ends up in us laughing) but the day we start solving our problems with screaming is the day we need to sit down and talk about what's actually wrong.
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Monday, August 14, 2017
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Educate yourself BEFORE you speak
Also - stating opinion as fact is WRONG 100% of the time. Also believing your are right in any situation does not give you the right to be an @$$hole...being an @$$hole actually diminishes the validity your argument.
Look I am all about Freedom of Speech and Expression. I can handle people who don't always see things the same way as I do. But I'll be damned if you think I am going to sit there and let you spew "information" at me that is not only inaccurate but also insulting.
It is not a secret that I am a child of divorce or that I was raised Catholic. Apparently that was all the rage back in the day. Get married in the 70's, have a few kids, get divorced in the 80's. Whatever, not everyone I knew came from a divorced family but there were a few of us. NOTHING WAS WRONG WITH US. My parents and theirs thankfully raised us semi-normally.
With that said I will not sit back at the age of f**king 30+ and listen to you tell me that kids of divorce are always f**ked up and lead awful pointless lives. What?!?!?! Listen here @$$hole, I know quite a few children of divorce and while yes some of them have issues, MOST of us are fine. We have grown up, have educations, have jobs, have spouses, some have kids, and almost all of us are happy and not on drugs or whatever other crazy $hit I just heard. We didn't fall down the rabbit hole of drugs/financial instability or any of that nonsense YOU have been brainwashed to think. Most of our parents remarried and we love our steps because they are GOOD PEOPLE!
Also, just because a Catholic Marriage is annulled doesn't mean any kids in the marriage are now illegitimate. What fear mongering non-sense have you been reading?!?! Do NOT sit there and tell me that because my parents had their marriage annulled 12 years after the divorce and 8 years after being remarried that now me and my brothers are "illegitimate". Educate yourself on YOUR religion before you make yourself look dumb.
While I can accept that you believe that and think that MY FAMILY is wrong, don't argue with me when I show you facts. Don't tell me that my family did WRONG because they wanted their 2nd marriages blessed by the church after almost 10 years. F**k they've been married for over 25 years now...whatcha think about that? Still think its wrong...? That's fine but call me "illegitimate" again and we are going to have an issue. Because according to YOUR CHURCH, I am not.
"For this reason (or for other reasons that render the marriage null and void) the Church, after an examination of the situation by the competent ecclesiastical tribunal, can declare the nullity of a marriage, i.e., that the marriage never existed. In this case the contracting parties are free to marry, provided the natural obligations of a previous union are discharged."
"Although an annulment is thus a declaration that "the marriage never existed", the Church recognizes that the relationship was a putative marriage, which gives rise to "natural obligations". In canon law, children conceived or born of either a valid or a putative marriage are considered legitimate..."
So okay yea my parents divorced and the marriage was nulled BUT according to the church (after an INVESTIGATION) it was deemed a valid or putative marriage i.e. WE ARE STILL LEGITIMATE. So f**k off with your half @$$ED assessment of things you clearly know NOTHING ABOUT.
Also, children of divorce are not all predisposed to get divorced. What cracked out preacher told you that? In my experience many children of divorce are LESS likely to divorce (actually they are less likely to marry in the first place) BECAUSE they don't want to go through the BS. Meaning I know I don't want to go through what my parents went through therefore I'm gonna do my darnedest to NOT marry someone unless I think we can stick it out. Does this include everyone, OF COURSE NOT, but neither does your assessment so go back in your high an mighty bubble and leave me alone.
Rant over...PEOPLE SUCK!
Look I am all about Freedom of Speech and Expression. I can handle people who don't always see things the same way as I do. But I'll be damned if you think I am going to sit there and let you spew "information" at me that is not only inaccurate but also insulting.
It is not a secret that I am a child of divorce or that I was raised Catholic. Apparently that was all the rage back in the day. Get married in the 70's, have a few kids, get divorced in the 80's. Whatever, not everyone I knew came from a divorced family but there were a few of us. NOTHING WAS WRONG WITH US. My parents and theirs thankfully raised us semi-normally.
With that said I will not sit back at the age of f**king 30+ and listen to you tell me that kids of divorce are always f**ked up and lead awful pointless lives. What?!?!?! Listen here @$$hole, I know quite a few children of divorce and while yes some of them have issues, MOST of us are fine. We have grown up, have educations, have jobs, have spouses, some have kids, and almost all of us are happy and not on drugs or whatever other crazy $hit I just heard. We didn't fall down the rabbit hole of drugs/financial instability or any of that nonsense YOU have been brainwashed to think. Most of our parents remarried and we love our steps because they are GOOD PEOPLE!
Also, just because a Catholic Marriage is annulled doesn't mean any kids in the marriage are now illegitimate. What fear mongering non-sense have you been reading?!?! Do NOT sit there and tell me that because my parents had their marriage annulled 12 years after the divorce and 8 years after being remarried that now me and my brothers are "illegitimate". Educate yourself on YOUR religion before you make yourself look dumb.
While I can accept that you believe that and think that MY FAMILY is wrong, don't argue with me when I show you facts. Don't tell me that my family did WRONG because they wanted their 2nd marriages blessed by the church after almost 10 years. F**k they've been married for over 25 years now...whatcha think about that? Still think its wrong...? That's fine but call me "illegitimate" again and we are going to have an issue. Because according to YOUR CHURCH, I am not.
"For this reason (or for other reasons that render the marriage null and void) the Church, after an examination of the situation by the competent ecclesiastical tribunal, can declare the nullity of a marriage, i.e., that the marriage never existed. In this case the contracting parties are free to marry, provided the natural obligations of a previous union are discharged."
"Although an annulment is thus a declaration that "the marriage never existed", the Church recognizes that the relationship was a putative marriage, which gives rise to "natural obligations". In canon law, children conceived or born of either a valid or a putative marriage are considered legitimate..."
So okay yea my parents divorced and the marriage was nulled BUT according to the church (after an INVESTIGATION) it was deemed a valid or putative marriage i.e. WE ARE STILL LEGITIMATE. So f**k off with your half @$$ED assessment of things you clearly know NOTHING ABOUT.
Also, children of divorce are not all predisposed to get divorced. What cracked out preacher told you that? In my experience many children of divorce are LESS likely to divorce (actually they are less likely to marry in the first place) BECAUSE they don't want to go through the BS. Meaning I know I don't want to go through what my parents went through therefore I'm gonna do my darnedest to NOT marry someone unless I think we can stick it out. Does this include everyone, OF COURSE NOT, but neither does your assessment so go back in your high an mighty bubble and leave me alone.
Rant over...PEOPLE SUCK!
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Anyone else have the sudden urge to "switch teams"?
No? Yea me neither soooooo why are people freaking the f**k out? After the ruling I did not have the sudden urge to leave my husband for a woman...I did feel the need to wrap myself in rainbow but that is just me..I like rainbows.
Sorry, this one is not a silly NOLA Gurl post...just a warning.
I LOST 4 "friends" on FB the other day when I posted about the Supreme Court ruling. I didn't even say anything about it, I just posted it with a smiley face. I went from 444 friends to 440 friends. I only noticed because I remembered 444...it kinda stuck out. Clearly they weren't my "friends" if they deleted our online friendship over a difference of opinion.
It is equal rights. . .that is it in a nutshell. It isn't some hedonistic witchcraft that will cause people to suddenly change. It is just the country saying you can marry the PERSON you love regardless of the bits they have. I personally think that is wonderful. If your religious beliefs think that is "wrong", okay then...you probably shouldn't marry someone with the same bits as you. But it also means you shouldn't engage in intercourse with people with the same bits either (I swear I heard someone who has had relations with both men and women bash same sex marriage in the name of religion, that makes ZERO sense). Anyways, those are your beliefs, you follow them but you can't force other people to adhere to them just because you believe in them.
I don't believe cinnamon should be slathered on anything I am eating but that doesn't mean I am going to try to create a law to force everyone else to not have it because I don't like it. If you like it, good on you...I will CHOOSE not to partake in it. I guess I am just different (in the best possible way, ha!).
Someone's sexual preference will not change you...it will not change your kids...it will not change anything outside of that person's relationship. I am so tired of hearing people say "I don't want my kids exposed to this...they will get ideas!" Honey, if your "kids" get "ideas" from this then they already were starting to realize they like persons of the same gender. Being around gay people (or exposed to gay couples) doesn't make you gay...its not a f**king disease! You can't catch it! Quit being a @$$hat. If you don't want to be friends with them or you want to alienate your family because of it, fine so be it but quit spouting your idiocy around me because it is giving me a headache. If you feel following that mantra will "save" you, okay then but quit trying to "save" the rest of us. . .we know what your religion says and we choose to believe differently. I personally don't think anything is wrong with marriage between any person...unless it is between a 30+ yr old and a minor. In that case I don't care what gender you prefer...you are a creep, don't do that. And if you are a 30+ yr old in "love" with a 16 or 17 year old...just, just wait the two years...don't create a controversy over something that may not be real. Moving on...
Things I've heard since the ruling that made me stabby:
1.) "I am accepting of that choice. We told my sister we accept her for who she is 100%, and that was 20 years ago but we made sure she knew she can't bring her girlfriends to family functions because we don't want our kids exposed to that." Sweetheart that is the exact opposite of acceptance and the fact that you've known for 20 years she is a lesbian and you STILL refuse to let her bring her partner around makes me very, very sad.
2.) *insert random bible verse* Ummm so are you going to want to enforce all bull$hit "rules" from the bible? You do know it was written by MAN. God didn't really write it...he "influenced" it but it was still written by MAN and it contains HIS biases no matter how you try to spin it. It was also written quite a long time ago...things change...even religion needs to evolve. Or would you rather condemn me because I am a woman and *insert biblical rule saying I should be stoned for whatever because I have lady parts*. My point is if you believe it, fine but not everyone is required to believe in the same things you do (that's the whole point of freedom of religion). Get over it.
3.) "I hope they are ready for *insert stereotypical marriage issue* because that's what they'll get now." You are a special kind of stupid. You do know these people who want to get married have been in relationships...many VERY long term. Just because they suddenly have the right to marry doesn't mean they suddenly have all the work that comes with a marriage. They've already had THAT piece...this is the legal part. The socially accepted part. It isn't about your stupid "oh now they are married, no sex" mantra. It is about them being FAMILY. They are now able to legally be family so that if one, god forbid, is ill or hurt they have a right to be by their side. Among other things you are privy to, like shared health insurance or life insurance or I dunno, just being acknowledged as a real couple! How would you like it if your spouse was terminally ill but you couldn't be by their side because you are Italian and they are Canadian and we just don't recognize that as a REAL relationship. Sounds silly doesn't it. . .Come on!
4.) "I am fine with them getting married but they shouldn't be able to have or adopt kids. You shouldn't want to bring up kids in that kind of household. It's hard enough being a kid, much less to THOSE kind of parents." *weeping inside* That is one of the most horrible things I have ever heard. You are one of the reasons kids from THOSE types of parents have issues. EVERYONE deserves the opportunity to be a parent. I mean the same screening process should apply for adoption (gender preference aside, no one legitimately crazy should be given a child) but NOT whether or not they are gay...that shouldn't matter. So the lesson here. Before you start dating someone of the same sex, have a relationship with someone of the opposite sex...procreate with them...leave them...obtain full custody and then be with someone of the same sex. Problem solved...Okay...that was COMPLETE sarcasm. Sorry, if I went too far.
*ugh* I gave myself a migraine...these are my opinions...you don't have to agree with me...I won't stop talking to you because we have different beliefs. Let's just agree to, uh, disagree. Kay, thanks, bye.
P.S. From today forward...it is just MARRIAGE...at least for me.
Sorry, this one is not a silly NOLA Gurl post...just a warning.
I LOST 4 "friends" on FB the other day when I posted about the Supreme Court ruling. I didn't even say anything about it, I just posted it with a smiley face. I went from 444 friends to 440 friends. I only noticed because I remembered 444...it kinda stuck out. Clearly they weren't my "friends" if they deleted our online friendship over a difference of opinion.
It is equal rights. . .that is it in a nutshell. It isn't some hedonistic witchcraft that will cause people to suddenly change. It is just the country saying you can marry the PERSON you love regardless of the bits they have. I personally think that is wonderful. If your religious beliefs think that is "wrong", okay then...you probably shouldn't marry someone with the same bits as you. But it also means you shouldn't engage in intercourse with people with the same bits either (I swear I heard someone who has had relations with both men and women bash same sex marriage in the name of religion, that makes ZERO sense). Anyways, those are your beliefs, you follow them but you can't force other people to adhere to them just because you believe in them.
I don't believe cinnamon should be slathered on anything I am eating but that doesn't mean I am going to try to create a law to force everyone else to not have it because I don't like it. If you like it, good on you...I will CHOOSE not to partake in it. I guess I am just different (in the best possible way, ha!).
Someone's sexual preference will not change you...it will not change your kids...it will not change anything outside of that person's relationship. I am so tired of hearing people say "I don't want my kids exposed to this...they will get ideas!" Honey, if your "kids" get "ideas" from this then they already were starting to realize they like persons of the same gender. Being around gay people (or exposed to gay couples) doesn't make you gay...its not a f**king disease! You can't catch it! Quit being a @$$hat. If you don't want to be friends with them or you want to alienate your family because of it, fine so be it but quit spouting your idiocy around me because it is giving me a headache. If you feel following that mantra will "save" you, okay then but quit trying to "save" the rest of us. . .we know what your religion says and we choose to believe differently. I personally don't think anything is wrong with marriage between any person...unless it is between a 30+ yr old and a minor. In that case I don't care what gender you prefer...you are a creep, don't do that. And if you are a 30+ yr old in "love" with a 16 or 17 year old...just, just wait the two years...don't create a controversy over something that may not be real. Moving on...
Things I've heard since the ruling that made me stabby:
1.) "I am accepting of that choice. We told my sister we accept her for who she is 100%, and that was 20 years ago but we made sure she knew she can't bring her girlfriends to family functions because we don't want our kids exposed to that." Sweetheart that is the exact opposite of acceptance and the fact that you've known for 20 years she is a lesbian and you STILL refuse to let her bring her partner around makes me very, very sad.
2.) *insert random bible verse* Ummm so are you going to want to enforce all bull$hit "rules" from the bible? You do know it was written by MAN. God didn't really write it...he "influenced" it but it was still written by MAN and it contains HIS biases no matter how you try to spin it. It was also written quite a long time ago...things change...even religion needs to evolve. Or would you rather condemn me because I am a woman and *insert biblical rule saying I should be stoned for whatever because I have lady parts*. My point is if you believe it, fine but not everyone is required to believe in the same things you do (that's the whole point of freedom of religion). Get over it.
3.) "I hope they are ready for *insert stereotypical marriage issue* because that's what they'll get now." You are a special kind of stupid. You do know these people who want to get married have been in relationships...many VERY long term. Just because they suddenly have the right to marry doesn't mean they suddenly have all the work that comes with a marriage. They've already had THAT piece...this is the legal part. The socially accepted part. It isn't about your stupid "oh now they are married, no sex" mantra. It is about them being FAMILY. They are now able to legally be family so that if one, god forbid, is ill or hurt they have a right to be by their side. Among other things you are privy to, like shared health insurance or life insurance or I dunno, just being acknowledged as a real couple! How would you like it if your spouse was terminally ill but you couldn't be by their side because you are Italian and they are Canadian and we just don't recognize that as a REAL relationship. Sounds silly doesn't it. . .Come on!
4.) "I am fine with them getting married but they shouldn't be able to have or adopt kids. You shouldn't want to bring up kids in that kind of household. It's hard enough being a kid, much less to THOSE kind of parents." *weeping inside* That is one of the most horrible things I have ever heard. You are one of the reasons kids from THOSE types of parents have issues. EVERYONE deserves the opportunity to be a parent. I mean the same screening process should apply for adoption (gender preference aside, no one legitimately crazy should be given a child) but NOT whether or not they are gay...that shouldn't matter. So the lesson here. Before you start dating someone of the same sex, have a relationship with someone of the opposite sex...procreate with them...leave them...obtain full custody and then be with someone of the same sex. Problem solved...Okay...that was COMPLETE sarcasm. Sorry, if I went too far.
*ugh* I gave myself a migraine...these are my opinions...you don't have to agree with me...I won't stop talking to you because we have different beliefs. Let's just agree to, uh, disagree. Kay, thanks, bye.
P.S. From today forward...it is just MARRIAGE...at least for me.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Relationships take effort...right...they don't just magically work...right
Seriously, do people really think that once they are in a committed relationship/marriage it is a done deal. "whoohoo, I can stop trying now!" Or is there something I am missing??? Is there a marriage fairy that sprinkles pixie dust on you so you can give up with no consequence? Because I think she skipped us. We are VERY happy but we still make an effort.
There are so many things, that happen to others and I try...I really do try not to pass judgement. Each relationship is different. What works for me and my husband may not work for others but we still TRY. For instance, I can't imagine a day where it would be okay to not give each other a Christmas or Birthday or Anniversary gift. And I am not talking about break the bank type gift. Just SOMETHING...anything... I understand that after 20+ years of marriage (and an illicit affair) things can be "mundane" but if you stop trying before you ever get started, it will never get better. How about just cooking dinner or a card...SOMETHING!
I know I am a "newlywed" by comparison but I hope (really hope) I am like my dad and step mom. They may not always be perfect but they still TRY! Twenty four years later and they go out on dates, give gifts, APPRECIATE each other. You can't tell me "oh we don't have any money so we forgo gifts". There are other ways to show your spouse you still care! Bring them breakfast in bed, clean the house, cook dinner, cut the grass, GIVE THEM A DAY OFF! Things that cost you basically nothing but the thought behind them is priceless. I just...I am not a brat but I would be so disappointed if I went home on my birthday and was expected to cook dinner, do laundry, the everyday stuff, etc. I think the only gifts this person (who triggered these thoughts) received were a bag of fancy cookies from me and lunch from their boss. The other thing is...what are you teaching your children...that once you are married you don't have to show appreciation for your spouse? This person has ADULT kids and they gave them NOTHING! Not even a card. This person tries to brush it off but I can see the hurt lingering in their eyes! It kills me. Since I've had my own money I have bought gifts (no matter how small) for my parents AND grandparents. And before that...I made them things. I drew them pictures. I am not talking about kid drawings. Not bragging but I draw pretty well and I gave away my drawings as gifts. They LOVED them. They cost me almost ZERO money, just a little of my time. Obviously not everyone can draw but there are OTHER WAYS...
I guess I just feel like relationships are hard enough as it is why make them more difficult. Just a little effort can go a LONG way. Will it always be butterflies and rainbows? Of course not but you don't just give up, you don't just settle for second best. Youngins, if you are with someone who doesn't appreciate you now, they probably never will appreciate you. You deserve better, trust me! Newlyweds, if your spouse stopped "trying"...SAY SOMETHING! Don't just roll over and say "well we are married now". No, just NO! You don't have to demand whatever but make sure they know you want to be acknowledged. Show them through examples...don't expect the world from someone and then do nothing in return. Not Newlyweds, be the change! Let them know you are tired of being brushed aside. If you give them the world and they give you nothing, TELL THEM! Changing habits is always difficult but you don't have to just accept things the way they are, you deserve to be spoiled a little too. Just saying.
And don't tell me "But, I don't need anything, *nervous giggle*". Because that is Bull$hit. You know in 20 years (if you make it that far) you will see all these other couples doing little things for each other and you WILL be resentful... you WILL get jealous...you WILL get upset. But by that point...changing things will be very difficult (see above example). No one wants to be married to a doormat (can lead to an "illicit affair")...and if they do you should run away very fast and never look back. Trust me you don't want to be married to that. I almost married that (yes I was a doormat and no I am NOT proud of that fact). I am so glad I didn't because I wouldn't have met my hubs and be as happy as I am.
Everyone deserves to be happy. Don't just settle because you think it is the best you can do. Being single is better than being taken advantage of.
There are so many things, that happen to others and I try...I really do try not to pass judgement. Each relationship is different. What works for me and my husband may not work for others but we still TRY. For instance, I can't imagine a day where it would be okay to not give each other a Christmas or Birthday or Anniversary gift. And I am not talking about break the bank type gift. Just SOMETHING...anything... I understand that after 20+ years of marriage (and an illicit affair) things can be "mundane" but if you stop trying before you ever get started, it will never get better. How about just cooking dinner or a card...SOMETHING!
I know I am a "newlywed" by comparison but I hope (really hope) I am like my dad and step mom. They may not always be perfect but they still TRY! Twenty four years later and they go out on dates, give gifts, APPRECIATE each other. You can't tell me "oh we don't have any money so we forgo gifts". There are other ways to show your spouse you still care! Bring them breakfast in bed, clean the house, cook dinner, cut the grass, GIVE THEM A DAY OFF! Things that cost you basically nothing but the thought behind them is priceless. I just...I am not a brat but I would be so disappointed if I went home on my birthday and was expected to cook dinner, do laundry, the everyday stuff, etc. I think the only gifts this person (who triggered these thoughts) received were a bag of fancy cookies from me and lunch from their boss. The other thing is...what are you teaching your children...that once you are married you don't have to show appreciation for your spouse? This person has ADULT kids and they gave them NOTHING! Not even a card. This person tries to brush it off but I can see the hurt lingering in their eyes! It kills me. Since I've had my own money I have bought gifts (no matter how small) for my parents AND grandparents. And before that...I made them things. I drew them pictures. I am not talking about kid drawings. Not bragging but I draw pretty well and I gave away my drawings as gifts. They LOVED them. They cost me almost ZERO money, just a little of my time. Obviously not everyone can draw but there are OTHER WAYS...
I guess I just feel like relationships are hard enough as it is why make them more difficult. Just a little effort can go a LONG way. Will it always be butterflies and rainbows? Of course not but you don't just give up, you don't just settle for second best. Youngins, if you are with someone who doesn't appreciate you now, they probably never will appreciate you. You deserve better, trust me! Newlyweds, if your spouse stopped "trying"...SAY SOMETHING! Don't just roll over and say "well we are married now". No, just NO! You don't have to demand whatever but make sure they know you want to be acknowledged. Show them through examples...don't expect the world from someone and then do nothing in return. Not Newlyweds, be the change! Let them know you are tired of being brushed aside. If you give them the world and they give you nothing, TELL THEM! Changing habits is always difficult but you don't have to just accept things the way they are, you deserve to be spoiled a little too. Just saying.
And don't tell me "But, I don't need anything, *nervous giggle*". Because that is Bull$hit. You know in 20 years (if you make it that far) you will see all these other couples doing little things for each other and you WILL be resentful... you WILL get jealous...you WILL get upset. But by that point...changing things will be very difficult (see above example). No one wants to be married to a doormat (can lead to an "illicit affair")...and if they do you should run away very fast and never look back. Trust me you don't want to be married to that. I almost married that (yes I was a doormat and no I am NOT proud of that fact). I am so glad I didn't because I wouldn't have met my hubs and be as happy as I am.
Everyone deserves to be happy. Don't just settle because you think it is the best you can do. Being single is better than being taken advantage of.
Friday, March 13, 2015
Why do you care so much?!?!?
Okay time to be serious for a second. So I have this "friend" on Facebook. I put friend in quotes because although we were kinda tight in school we have drifted apart and based on recent posts they are insane now.
Excuse me while I become a broken record but like I've said before EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion(s). You can have them all day long but once your start forcing your beliefs/opinion(s) on others that NEGATIVELY affects them I want to cover you in paper cuts, roll you in salt and throw you into a pool of lemon juice.
You can be religious, that is fine. If your religion says that being homosexual is wrong, fine (I guess). I loosely (key word) follow the same religion but I have a very, very different belief. These people are just like you and me. They are human and sorry to burst your bubble but they were also made in God's image so to say. Some immensely religious people from our youth are gay and that is OKAY! They were brought up just like us, you can't tell me they were suddenly "corrupted by Satan" or whatever nonsense you have been blabbing all over the inter-webs. You want freedom of Religion, freedom of speech, just FREEDOM to be you but you don't want these people to have the same? Why?!?!?! Because they are different? If you didn't know their preference would you still treat them like they have a horrible disease? No you wouldn't...so why does it matter to you?!?!?!
How does a gay couple getting married affect you exactly?!?!?! Because they like someone of the same sex they are evil...bad...corrupt and getting married would enhance that somehow???? I know enough people to know that they are 100% the same as us in every aspect except who they are attracted to. They just want to be happy with who makes them happy...WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH!?!? Are you scared your children will *gasp* be gay?!?! And what if they are? It wont be because they saw two guys kissing...it isn't a freaking lifestyle choice. If they are attracted to the same sex there is no changing that...it is just who they are so stop trying to change them! I'd be more worried that a serial killer moved in next door. A gay couple wont murder you in your sleep, they'll probably bring you a bottle of wine and try to be your best friends...ya know like a normal couple because that is all they are, a NORMAL COUPLE. Stop putting awful things on your Facebook. You sound like a crazy person!!!
Them: *posts article about "gay marriage" in their area* "OMG, this better get overturned! They'll start spreading this like the plague!!!"
Me: *thinking* Did you just compare "gay marriage" to plague??? Are you f**king kidding me?!?!?
Just note that I'm not associated with them anymore. A while back I posted something about two of my friends getting married in another state, "OMG (Insert Friend name) and (Insert other friend name) are getting married in (insert state name) today!!!" It was meant to be happy. I posted the exact same effing thing when my BFF and her husband got married last year. But on this one, swear to God they commented with "OMG how horrifying! I can't believe they are doing that to you!!!" Ummmm what?!? They think just because we knew each other and are both Catholic that my post was meant to be negative. Why would I TAG them if I was trying to be an @$$???? I responded with "I am happy for them, they are my friends." They responded with "you should know that it is wrong and are guilty by association." Guilty of what?!?! I ended up deleting the exchange because I didn't want my friends to see it. I instead messaged them my well wishes. I am surprised they left me as a friend on FB since I associate with such "heathens", I should have deleted them then but I forgot about them honestly.
Then recently they went on a rant about a transgender child who was wanting to use the girls bathroom because he identifies as female. They were going bat$hit about him just wanting to peep on the girls and that he was a perv and all this other really awful stuff. I think they went so far as to say something about transgender persons being monsters and accepting them would be the "downfall of society" and the beginnings of "Armageddon". For one she is a CHILD, stop it! Second, she was asking because she was getting bullied horrifically in the boys bathroom. There were other things posted about this topic. One about a female in the army who identified as male and another that happened at a gym. The army sided with my "friends" beliefs, the gym sided with mine. Can you picture the comments that happened?!?!? They were awful...(I finally blocked them). Mind you I saw these articles on other pages as well but they weren't posted with hatred.
Seriously the things they said made me want to cry. Doesn't your religion teach you about acceptance???? Teach you to love EVERYONE??? I seriously don't think Jesus was like "love everyone...except that guy...don't love him, he is different". I don't see this type of discrimination often because I happen to be "straight" and tend to surround myself with people who think like me. But when I see it I want to build a wall and protect all those who experience this type of hate. No one deserves to be treated poorly just because they are "different". That goes for EVERYONE not just who you choose to believe is like you.
Excuse me while I become a broken record but like I've said before EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion(s). You can have them all day long but once your start forcing your beliefs/opinion(s) on others that NEGATIVELY affects them I want to cover you in paper cuts, roll you in salt and throw you into a pool of lemon juice.
You can be religious, that is fine. If your religion says that being homosexual is wrong, fine (I guess). I loosely (key word) follow the same religion but I have a very, very different belief. These people are just like you and me. They are human and sorry to burst your bubble but they were also made in God's image so to say. Some immensely religious people from our youth are gay and that is OKAY! They were brought up just like us, you can't tell me they were suddenly "corrupted by Satan" or whatever nonsense you have been blabbing all over the inter-webs. You want freedom of Religion, freedom of speech, just FREEDOM to be you but you don't want these people to have the same? Why?!?!?! Because they are different? If you didn't know their preference would you still treat them like they have a horrible disease? No you wouldn't...so why does it matter to you?!?!?!
How does a gay couple getting married affect you exactly?!?!?! Because they like someone of the same sex they are evil...bad...corrupt and getting married would enhance that somehow???? I know enough people to know that they are 100% the same as us in every aspect except who they are attracted to. They just want to be happy with who makes them happy...WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH!?!? Are you scared your children will *gasp* be gay?!?! And what if they are? It wont be because they saw two guys kissing...it isn't a freaking lifestyle choice. If they are attracted to the same sex there is no changing that...it is just who they are so stop trying to change them! I'd be more worried that a serial killer moved in next door. A gay couple wont murder you in your sleep, they'll probably bring you a bottle of wine and try to be your best friends...ya know like a normal couple because that is all they are, a NORMAL COUPLE. Stop putting awful things on your Facebook. You sound like a crazy person!!!
Them: *posts article about "gay marriage" in their area* "OMG, this better get overturned! They'll start spreading this like the plague!!!"
Me: *thinking* Did you just compare "gay marriage" to plague??? Are you f**king kidding me?!?!?
Just note that I'm not associated with them anymore. A while back I posted something about two of my friends getting married in another state, "OMG (Insert Friend name) and (Insert other friend name) are getting married in (insert state name) today!!!" It was meant to be happy. I posted the exact same effing thing when my BFF and her husband got married last year. But on this one, swear to God they commented with "OMG how horrifying! I can't believe they are doing that to you!!!" Ummmm what?!? They think just because we knew each other and are both Catholic that my post was meant to be negative. Why would I TAG them if I was trying to be an @$$???? I responded with "I am happy for them, they are my friends." They responded with "you should know that it is wrong and are guilty by association." Guilty of what?!?! I ended up deleting the exchange because I didn't want my friends to see it. I instead messaged them my well wishes. I am surprised they left me as a friend on FB since I associate with such "heathens", I should have deleted them then but I forgot about them honestly.
Then recently they went on a rant about a transgender child who was wanting to use the girls bathroom because he identifies as female. They were going bat$hit about him just wanting to peep on the girls and that he was a perv and all this other really awful stuff. I think they went so far as to say something about transgender persons being monsters and accepting them would be the "downfall of society" and the beginnings of "Armageddon". For one she is a CHILD, stop it! Second, she was asking because she was getting bullied horrifically in the boys bathroom. There were other things posted about this topic. One about a female in the army who identified as male and another that happened at a gym. The army sided with my "friends" beliefs, the gym sided with mine. Can you picture the comments that happened?!?!? They were awful...(I finally blocked them). Mind you I saw these articles on other pages as well but they weren't posted with hatred.
Seriously the things they said made me want to cry. Doesn't your religion teach you about acceptance???? Teach you to love EVERYONE??? I seriously don't think Jesus was like "love everyone...except that guy...don't love him, he is different". I don't see this type of discrimination often because I happen to be "straight" and tend to surround myself with people who think like me. But when I see it I want to build a wall and protect all those who experience this type of hate. No one deserves to be treated poorly just because they are "different". That goes for EVERYONE not just who you choose to believe is like you.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
It is not 1920, at least last time I checked
If I am right, and I usually am, it is in fact 2015. A time where we are not governed by the ridiculous standards of our grandparents (great grandparents) time. Women are not just seen as an accessory for a man...they are their own people...with their own careers...with their own mind. It hurts my brain every time I hear someone say something that sounds like it came out of the early 1900's. I will sum it up...er, well list it out, below. And note that I know this does not define everyone...I am just saying I have been shocked to hear such things in today's society.
1.) "Oh my God! Did you hear she's pregnant??? She's not even married! Such a shame."
Um...first what does being married have to do with having a baby??????????? Last I checked it takes two to tango...why are we focusing on the woman here? Who cares if there is or isn't a husband in the picture. $hit happens people! We are a free loving society...not many people wait till marriage to have $ex so quit being so judgmental. It isn't a shame. What is a shame is it was probably completely unplanned which means a lot of things are going to change for her (and him). They need our support not our sideways stares and hushed whispers.
2.) "She got knocked up on purpose!"
Yes there are women who have done this but come on. Accidents do happen ya know and again there was a guy there who had to contribute. You think your sig other is trying to get PG on purpose wrap that $hit up son or don't sleep with her, you do have a say ya know.
3.) "Well now they have to get married, for the baby."
Really...that is your take away here??? Sure lets force marriage on people who had a whoops. Lets create a potential hostile situation where two people who maybe barely know each other or weren't meant to be married are coerced into it because their sexual exploits created a new life. This just creates a higher divorce rate and a bad situation for the little one. A baby does not equal must get married. If at some point it happens, great, but don't force it because you are having a baby.
4.) "Make an honest woman out of her."
I am going to nut punch you! I am not even addressing this one further.
5.) "You ruined my life!"
Wow! While I understand having a child is a big deal...saying it ruined a life is going a bit far. And again...you took part in this. To make a baby you had to insert tab A into slot B. It's not like she siphoned off your little swimmers without your permission or he put them in you without permission (forced sexual content excluded). If you aren't ready to support another life, maybe you should have thought about that before you did the horizontal mambo.
6.) "I pulled out, she must have cheated on me!"
WTF are you smoking?!? Sex ed 101...pulling out doesn't work. There is still a chance some can get through...this isn't her fault...man up! Take some responsibility.
7.) "You can't keep it!" or "You have to keep it!"
They can do what they want... I am not touching the pro life/pro choice debate with a 10 foot pole but I am saying if she does have the baby, adoption is a solution...if dad wants him/her okay but you can't tell her she has to keep it... just like you can't tell her she can't keep it. He/she is her baby too...
8.) "I can't believe he is dating her...she has a child!"
While I understand when you are in your early twenties this can be a slight hindrance it shouldn't dictate whether or not you like a person. So what if his sig other has child already, I can almost guarantee he isn't a virgin so he very easily could have fathered a child also, even though he hasn't (that we know of). Do not judge her because she has a child, just don't...we should be a forward thinking society..STOP!
a.) What kills me further is when said person decides he wants to marry this "harlot" and *gasp*
adopts her child. Some people freak out...why?!? I think that is very
sweet..admirable...treating someone else's child as your own.
b.) Also, for some reason when the situation is reversed the guy is seen as almost a hero. "He
has a child. He is clearly a good man if he is so involved in his child's life." There isn't the
same stereotype for him (sometimes there is but not usually).
Maybe it is just in the Deep South but I doubt it. Life isn't easy...add a kid to it and it gets even harder but we should NOT be judging people based on this. There are so many other more important situations we can focus on instead of whether or not a woman happens to have a child out of wedlock.
1.) "Oh my God! Did you hear she's pregnant??? She's not even married! Such a shame."
Um...first what does being married have to do with having a baby??????????? Last I checked it takes two to tango...why are we focusing on the woman here? Who cares if there is or isn't a husband in the picture. $hit happens people! We are a free loving society...not many people wait till marriage to have $ex so quit being so judgmental. It isn't a shame. What is a shame is it was probably completely unplanned which means a lot of things are going to change for her (and him). They need our support not our sideways stares and hushed whispers.
2.) "She got knocked up on purpose!"
Yes there are women who have done this but come on. Accidents do happen ya know and again there was a guy there who had to contribute. You think your sig other is trying to get PG on purpose wrap that $hit up son or don't sleep with her, you do have a say ya know.
3.) "Well now they have to get married, for the baby."
Really...that is your take away here??? Sure lets force marriage on people who had a whoops. Lets create a potential hostile situation where two people who maybe barely know each other or weren't meant to be married are coerced into it because their sexual exploits created a new life. This just creates a higher divorce rate and a bad situation for the little one. A baby does not equal must get married. If at some point it happens, great, but don't force it because you are having a baby.
4.) "Make an honest woman out of her."
I am going to nut punch you! I am not even addressing this one further.
5.) "You ruined my life!"
Wow! While I understand having a child is a big deal...saying it ruined a life is going a bit far. And again...you took part in this. To make a baby you had to insert tab A into slot B. It's not like she siphoned off your little swimmers without your permission or he put them in you without permission (forced sexual content excluded). If you aren't ready to support another life, maybe you should have thought about that before you did the horizontal mambo.
6.) "I pulled out, she must have cheated on me!"
WTF are you smoking?!? Sex ed 101...pulling out doesn't work. There is still a chance some can get through...this isn't her fault...man up! Take some responsibility.
7.) "You can't keep it!" or "You have to keep it!"
They can do what they want... I am not touching the pro life/pro choice debate with a 10 foot pole but I am saying if she does have the baby, adoption is a solution...if dad wants him/her okay but you can't tell her she has to keep it... just like you can't tell her she can't keep it. He/she is her baby too...
8.) "I can't believe he is dating her...she has a child!"
While I understand when you are in your early twenties this can be a slight hindrance it shouldn't dictate whether or not you like a person. So what if his sig other has child already, I can almost guarantee he isn't a virgin so he very easily could have fathered a child also, even though he hasn't (that we know of). Do not judge her because she has a child, just don't...we should be a forward thinking society..STOP!
a.) What kills me further is when said person decides he wants to marry this "harlot" and *gasp*
adopts her child. Some people freak out...why?!? I think that is very
sweet..admirable...treating someone else's child as your own.
b.) Also, for some reason when the situation is reversed the guy is seen as almost a hero. "He
has a child. He is clearly a good man if he is so involved in his child's life." There isn't the
same stereotype for him (sometimes there is but not usually).
Single dad = hero, single mom = whore...
what the actual f**k...just no.
Maybe it is just in the Deep South but I doubt it. Life isn't easy...add a kid to it and it gets even harder but we should NOT be judging people based on this. There are so many other more important situations we can focus on instead of whether or not a woman happens to have a child out of wedlock.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Mid Life Crisis...REALLY?!?!
How old do you have to be to have one of these? And why do they happen?
So I thought this was something that only happened in movies because I've never known someone who actually had a Crisis...I've known those that have second thoughts but not total breakdown.
Today I had the most horrible day...not because of what a guy did to me but because of what he did to one of my very close friends. You see the couple I am referring to has been married for MANY years, they have two beautiful/smart kids and are pretty much a perfect fit. Until recently!!!
She broke down to me. Over the past few months she has noticed her hub slowly pulling himself away from her. They haven't been intimate, barely talk, he goes out a lot and comes home with alcohol on his breath. She said she tried talking to him but he said he's fine. Wel she got a HUGE cell phone bill. When she checked it she realized one number that was on there ALOT. And she knew it right away...its one of their good friends.
She confronted him about it when he finally strolled in and immediately he said, want me to leave. No " there's nothing going on" or "its not what you think". His first response was, want me to leave. That right there admits guilt...RIGHT!?! Well they talked a little but their kids were there. One thing he managed to get out was " I'm just not happy and I haven't been for about a year now". My heart dropped when she told me this. I had a flash back of my failed relationship last year. Although we were not married and have no kids, we had the same weird confrontation. The "I'm just not happy."
She cried herself sick last night. I didn't know what to say, all I wanted to do was hug her and tell her it would be ok. He swears he never had an affair but he talked to her for HOURS everyday and texted all day long. If it wasn't physical, it was still an affair. It was an emotional affair!!!
My friend and him talked again after the kids left. He tried to blame EVERYTHING on her. He said he needs love too. That everything is so routine. That when they were intimate he felt like she wasn't there. Although I'm sure there are things she can do different, I am also sure he's not perfect either!!! He hurt her! He crushed his wife, the mother of his children, the woman he supposedly loves. And all he could say was "don't you ever think about what could have happened? What if we should have followed a different path? Haven't you ever thought about being with other people?" She said NO NEVER. He still stuck to the nothing happened but it was only a matter of time before the affair went past emotional...
He finally realized what a douche he's been when she told him what their daughter said. About a week or so ago she said "Mommy what's wrong with daddy? He's not him anymore. Are you all getting a divorce?" Then she told him how she knows about his going out and drinking when she's not around because her son told her! I'm pretty sure that made him feel like ass. I HOPE IT DID!
He called her while I was talking to her to check and see how she was. Guilt is a nasty thing to come to terms with.
It made me realize how DUMB some men are. They get this bug up their ass as they age. They start to think about what might have been instead of appreciating what they have. He is willing to throw away a wonderful marriage and beautiful wife because he can't stop thinking about what he missed out on because he had kids and got married kinda young. He says its so routine... well of COURSE it is, they have two kids and just enough money to make ends meet... how are they supposed to break the routine??? She's tried, I know she has because she tells me, but they are always watching their money soooooo its a vicious vicious cycle.
Whether he wants to admit it or not he cheated on her, in a way, with another woman. He strayed from his wife and family because he was feeling insecure! He didn't try to fix it he just pulled himself away. Which scares the crap out of me. I want the happily ever after . I want to fall in love and start a family but I am scared to death because I don't want to go through that. I went through something similar once and THANK GOD we were not married with kids because I was a nut case after and I still don't know what happened. I still have no idea why I wasn't good enough for him. I'm glad things happened because now I can find someone who will treat me right but holy s--t, I don't think I could do it again.
Ok I think I am done freaking out now. I still want to KICK my friend's husband's ass right now. I hope to God he realizes what he is giving up.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Men are Dumb
What is it about "commitment" that freaks some men out?
Well we had our talk this past weekend after he got back. It was what I like to call a MARATHON conversation. It lasted for 3 days!!!! Let's see he got in Thursday and it was extreme attention. We had close to zero conversation but he was SUPER affectionate...what the hell?!? Well Friday came around and I wasn't about to bring anything up, I wanted him to start the conversation and to my surprise he did.
It started very calm. We talked about why I thought he had a personality disorder (which I still think he does...read the symptoms its eerily close). Of course when he started to see the Symptoms and realize I wasn't kidding he flipped it on me and said "Oh you and all your stupid Psycho Babble." Gee thanks! We talked about his "family secret" FINALLY he freaking told me even though I've known and it's been killing me that he didn't trust me enough to share it with me. So we talked until 2AM, I think. I was explaining what I saw and he was listening. It didn't really go all that well. He still didn't open up completely but we were both drinking so I think that helped us loosen up a little. Then I told him about how he ignores me. He sits at the computer and I can walk around butt naked and he doesn't notice. He OF COURSE said that wasn't true so I did a demo of how that usually goes. He was a bit surprised but whatever. Then one thing led to another and well lets just say I had a momentary lapse of control. I know DUMB but stuff happens. Well not too long after that we went to bed and he crawled in next to me...what tha??? Whatever I was drunk and tired so we slept.
Saturday morning we woke up and things were kinda back to normal. UNTIL he sudden;y says, "are you doing anything today, cuz I'm gonna head to BR for the Baseball game". Well that affected me because I thought we would attempt to talk more. I didn't say anything though because I didn't feel like being THAT girl.
Well he for the first time in a long time realized something was not 'right' and started talking to me. I just started crying. I couldn't help it, everything in my mind was bubbling out. Like I was thinking about how I wanted to get married, be happy, have babies and that I thought he was that person. He led me to believe he was that person etc etc etc. Well he was of course hugging me the whole time saying he understood which is bull but whatever. After i calmed down a little he went back to the other couch. I forced him to explain how he proposed to me in Aug 2006 and then suddenly changed his mind.
HIS RESPONSE was killer. He actually told me that after he did it, he realized that it wasn't what he wanted. He wasn't ready to be married. I asked for further clarification bc it really didn't make sense to me. He said and I quote "I see marriage as a means to start a family and have children and since I am not ready to have kids why get married." So my cocky response was "so you're telling me all those people that are married and not actively trying to have kids are...doing what exactly." He back peddled, thats not what he meant. Right, yea OK!!!! So I asked him what scared him about marrying me...I mean really pretty much all that would change between us is I would change my name and we'd probably open a joint account along with our individual ones. He didn't know what to say...he really hadn't looked at it that way...oh my god really?!?!!?
Well I was pretty pissed off at this point so I wasn't being cautious with my words and I honestly do not know what I said but I upset him...ALOT. He got extremely emotional and said he didn't know how I could sit there and be so hurtful...excuse me!?!?!?!? He said it's the way I was talking to him, it cut like a knife...so of course being pissed, I said "good you deserve to suffer"!!! Probably not the most mature moment but I really don't care anymore. He said he wasn't supposed to do this to me. He wasn't supposed to hurt me like them. He was supposed to protect me and keep me from hurting. HAHAHAHA, no really I started laughing and went and sat by him. I told him he is seriously blind bc he hurt me more than any other dumb ex I have had thus far...and thats impressive because it took me a while to get over the one before him. So I said, "so when do you want me out?" That just sent him into more of a downward spiral of emotion. Well we talked for a while and he hugged me and I sobbed (pathetic I know but it just wouldn't stop). Well we both ended up falling asleep on the couch from exhaustion I guess it was around 4PM, needless to say no baseball game for him.
Well we woke up about 8PM. He wanted to get dinner for us, um OK. We got Italian Pie and he came next to me on the couch afterwards and snuggled. Anyone else find a freakin' problem with this?!?!?! Anyways we sat on the couch for a few hours watching TV. Then went to bed and AGAIN he got in there with me...which I find very strange. I stayed on my side, he on his and we slept.
Okay on to Mother's day. He went through a guilt trip. He felt awful for things that had happened the night before. Then BIG RED FLAG. I left to go see my mom and take her out. He went to the baseball game in Baton Rouge. His mom called me later that night and said she has two sons and a daughter in law and I was the only one who sent her a card. That made me feel so bad for her...because I usually do the mother's day thing where I have my mom and her over for lunch/dinner. But since all this crap is going on that didn't happen and no one did anything for her... NOT COOL.
So that was my MARATHON weekend of talking. The sad thing is nothing was accomplished. We talked sort of but nothing was resolved...no decisions were made. I am still in flipping limbo and I really really really hate it!!!!!
Well we had our talk this past weekend after he got back. It was what I like to call a MARATHON conversation. It lasted for 3 days!!!! Let's see he got in Thursday and it was extreme attention. We had close to zero conversation but he was SUPER affectionate...what the hell?!? Well Friday came around and I wasn't about to bring anything up, I wanted him to start the conversation and to my surprise he did.
It started very calm. We talked about why I thought he had a personality disorder (which I still think he does...read the symptoms its eerily close). Of course when he started to see the Symptoms and realize I wasn't kidding he flipped it on me and said "Oh you and all your stupid Psycho Babble." Gee thanks! We talked about his "family secret" FINALLY he freaking told me even though I've known and it's been killing me that he didn't trust me enough to share it with me. So we talked until 2AM, I think. I was explaining what I saw and he was listening. It didn't really go all that well. He still didn't open up completely but we were both drinking so I think that helped us loosen up a little. Then I told him about how he ignores me. He sits at the computer and I can walk around butt naked and he doesn't notice. He OF COURSE said that wasn't true so I did a demo of how that usually goes. He was a bit surprised but whatever. Then one thing led to another and well lets just say I had a momentary lapse of control. I know DUMB but stuff happens. Well not too long after that we went to bed and he crawled in next to me...what tha??? Whatever I was drunk and tired so we slept.
Saturday morning we woke up and things were kinda back to normal. UNTIL he sudden;y says, "are you doing anything today, cuz I'm gonna head to BR for the Baseball game". Well that affected me because I thought we would attempt to talk more. I didn't say anything though because I didn't feel like being THAT girl.
Well he for the first time in a long time realized something was not 'right' and started talking to me. I just started crying. I couldn't help it, everything in my mind was bubbling out. Like I was thinking about how I wanted to get married, be happy, have babies and that I thought he was that person. He led me to believe he was that person etc etc etc. Well he was of course hugging me the whole time saying he understood which is bull but whatever. After i calmed down a little he went back to the other couch. I forced him to explain how he proposed to me in Aug 2006 and then suddenly changed his mind.
HIS RESPONSE was killer. He actually told me that after he did it, he realized that it wasn't what he wanted. He wasn't ready to be married. I asked for further clarification bc it really didn't make sense to me. He said and I quote "I see marriage as a means to start a family and have children and since I am not ready to have kids why get married." So my cocky response was "so you're telling me all those people that are married and not actively trying to have kids are...doing what exactly." He back peddled, thats not what he meant. Right, yea OK!!!! So I asked him what scared him about marrying me...I mean really pretty much all that would change between us is I would change my name and we'd probably open a joint account along with our individual ones. He didn't know what to say...he really hadn't looked at it that way...oh my god really?!?!!?
Well I was pretty pissed off at this point so I wasn't being cautious with my words and I honestly do not know what I said but I upset him...ALOT. He got extremely emotional and said he didn't know how I could sit there and be so hurtful...excuse me!?!?!?!? He said it's the way I was talking to him, it cut like a knife...so of course being pissed, I said "good you deserve to suffer"!!! Probably not the most mature moment but I really don't care anymore. He said he wasn't supposed to do this to me. He wasn't supposed to hurt me like them. He was supposed to protect me and keep me from hurting. HAHAHAHA, no really I started laughing and went and sat by him. I told him he is seriously blind bc he hurt me more than any other dumb ex I have had thus far...and thats impressive because it took me a while to get over the one before him. So I said, "so when do you want me out?" That just sent him into more of a downward spiral of emotion. Well we talked for a while and he hugged me and I sobbed (pathetic I know but it just wouldn't stop). Well we both ended up falling asleep on the couch from exhaustion I guess it was around 4PM, needless to say no baseball game for him.
Well we woke up about 8PM. He wanted to get dinner for us, um OK. We got Italian Pie and he came next to me on the couch afterwards and snuggled. Anyone else find a freakin' problem with this?!?!?! Anyways we sat on the couch for a few hours watching TV. Then went to bed and AGAIN he got in there with me...which I find very strange. I stayed on my side, he on his and we slept.
Okay on to Mother's day. He went through a guilt trip. He felt awful for things that had happened the night before. Then BIG RED FLAG. I left to go see my mom and take her out. He went to the baseball game in Baton Rouge. His mom called me later that night and said she has two sons and a daughter in law and I was the only one who sent her a card. That made me feel so bad for her...because I usually do the mother's day thing where I have my mom and her over for lunch/dinner. But since all this crap is going on that didn't happen and no one did anything for her... NOT COOL.
So that was my MARATHON weekend of talking. The sad thing is nothing was accomplished. We talked sort of but nothing was resolved...no decisions were made. I am still in flipping limbo and I really really really hate it!!!!!
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