Holy homophobia Batman!

Okay that sounds ten kinds of awful but it was the first thing that popped in my head. 

Its Christmas, right?  A time for peace on earth and good will towards men.  Its a time when being a decent human being SHOULD come more naturally.  Its a time of acceptance and love.  Or its a time to be a total c**t and say horrible things.  Yea I definitely remember learning that last one in my religion classes. 

Me: Ugh I hate Walmart! Sooooo many people *blah*
Person 1: Well don't go to the one on *insert specific location* its full of gay people!!!!
Me: *blank stare*
Person 2: *judging stare* Well that doesn't bother me....
Me: Me neither....
Person 1: No, you don't understand they are like openly gay in that store!!!!
Me:  I mean are they f**king in aisles?  Or groping each other inappropriately...?
Person 2: What happened?
Person 1:  I was there with my Aunt and two BOYS went walking by holding hands and being realtionship-y
Me: *confused* and...?
Person 1: and...?!?  And its like they think its okay!
Person 2: *horrified expression* 
Me: I'm pretty sure it is okay....  But if you don't like seeing that then go to one of the other 10 locations in the area.  I mean did they do or say anything to y'all...?
**At this point I am trying not to start an argument but I am getting annoyed**
Person 1: YES!  
Me & Person 2: Oh...what happened?
Person 1:  *very matter of fact* They were buying Christmas presents and decorations.  They are gay, they can't celebrate Christmas.

Me: Says who...? Hold up, aren't you Catholic?  Aren't you taught to accept everyone?  Love thy neighbor and whatnot. 
Person 2: Didn't you have an affair?  I think that means YOU can't celebrate Christmas.  
Person 1: *shocked expression*

Me: *oh $hit* Um, Merry Christmas....?
Person 1: f**k both of you f*g lovers!  *walks away*
Me:  *jaw drop* I'm pretty sure she can't say that......I'm offended.
Person 2: *laughing* I am too.

This is almost word for word!  I know people are @$$holes but holy $hit!!! I guess I don't usually surround myself with such awful people so this shocked me a bit. Talk about being in the Christmas spirit. 

These were basically my expressions...

You can't lie when it's in writing!!!

People are f**king stupid.  I hate liars.  I especially hate people who try to cover their own @$$es by throwing others under the bus.  F**k you b**ch I have it in writing.  And I will bury you if you f**king lie!

Just because you didn't CC your boss on your response that was 5.5 hours LATE doesn't mean I wont forward that email to said boss when he tries to blame me for your F**K up.  I am customer oriented and try not to get people in trouble but if you mess with me I will "loud cap" you via email.  If you don't want to look like a f**ktard in front of the 15 people you cc'd trying to make it look like my problem maybe you should do your job or at the very least take responsibility for YOUR f**k up.

Rant Over...I hate PEOPLE!

I have been claimed!!!

Not like by a fae, although that would be kinda cool I guess.  I was claimed by a CAT...actually more than one.  Not my cats, some strays that decided I seemed nice.  I thought we were past this whole strays in the yard thing.  Crazy neighbor is gone so their "sanctuary" has been sealed off, gutted and remodeled.  Apparently there are a few hold outs and since I am Dr. f**king Dolittle they picked me.

My first clue that they were staking claim to me/my house was a cat fight, on top of my A/C unit at 3AM a couple weeks ago (this is right outside my bedroom window).  Ah, nothing gets the blood pumping like a loud crash followed by an angry cat fight. A few days later Speedy bee lined it to the other side of the shed.  I heard a *reow*, a bird flew away, a black and white streak went running, Speedy followed barking.  He had it cornered by the A/C unit but was just BARKING.  I managed to move him and shoo away Mr. Kitty.  I figured seeing the dogs would keep them out.  Over the next week he came back but would jump the fence as the dogs came a running.  Then I realized it was THREE cats.  One black & white, one white & black, and one beige & white.....hmmmm.  The look I got from them was a "you'll adopt me...right...?"  No!

Unfortunately one night the black and white one decided to fight my dogs for the yard.  It ended badly for him.  They weren't attacking just barking but when he attacked Speedy's face, Convict went into protect the pack mode.  We pried the dogs off this poor cat who was IMMEDIATELY abandoned by his friends.  He looked bad, but was alive...  He wasn't moving much but would try to bite, scratch if we got to close.

I couldn't let the idiot suffer so I called animal control.  45 min later they showed up to get the dying cat who hadn't moved.  The SECOND we got in the yard that Mother F**ker got up, darted to the fence, and got on the roof *WTF*.  He was gone.  It was like a "you'll never take me alive coppers" *muahahaha* kind of thing.  Well okay then.

Waaaaaay later that night we found him...ALIVE and pissed off with his posse just hanging out on my roof again.  He growled and hissed and stared us down...GREAT!  "He's gonna die on the f**king roof...that's just wonderful" stupid cat. The next morning he moved but was still on the roof.  I got home from work...chilling on the roof over the front door.  I said "are you going to let me help you????" *hiiiiissssss* *growl*  Ugh, fine!

You'd think he would steer clear after that, right?!?  Nope.  Two days later, back in the yard behind the A/C unit picking a fight with Speedy.  WTF?!?!?!  He can barely move one leg but he was ready to defend "his territory".  Um sorry buddy this is actually THEIR territory...and they will eat you...apparently.  The dogs didn't hurt him again, just barked...A LOT.  Realizing his mistake, he eventually scurried off. 

Its been 3 days and I haven't seen him.  I hope he lived and will be okay...he was a jerk but I don't want the poor thing to suffer!  But I also don't want him back in the yard.  The poor pups had to go to the vet and be examined because they were all scratched and bit up.  Hopefully animal control came back out and got him.  I told them where he was.

I am also concerned the other two were females since male cats rarely hang around together.  If they leave me more kittens, so help me, I may actually go loony. 

Want to make a woman go bat-crap crazy on you....tell her she is like her mother AFTER she just complained how bat-crap crazy her mother is....

I am basically chill.  Most things don't get to me.  I am not easily offended.  Everyone gets mad/irritated/upset but I usually handle it in a very mature manner.  But there are times.  Oh there are times when the stars align.  These are bad times.  It usually means I've absorbed too much bull$hit.  I am past full.  One more molecule of bull$hit and it will all come flying back out.  Usually at an unsuspecting person who, in their defense, is used to me being calm and collected not a raging bull. 

Okay so here is why I was "full":

1. I am sick, like got the crud from idiot co-workers who came to work with the Plague and touched all my stuff, oh AND coughed INTO my office without covering their mouths!!!!!

2.  For the past 15 months we have been watching Oil go into the $hitter.  Last month it tanked.  $25 per barrel, what the actual f**K?!!?!?  I mean it rebounded some but this is still bad.  We live in LA...an oil & gas state...people are being laid off...this is NO BUENO

3.  With that knowledge my sig other has STILL been pestering me about a new vehicle.  Well a used vehicle...new to him.  Because he "wants" it.  Oh yea, well I want all sorts of stuff...doesn't mean I am going to just buy them!  Look, I am nice to a point.  "I really don't think that's a wise decision".  "You wont be able to sell your vehicle for what is left on the note".  "Why get ANOTHER note when this one will be paid off in 1 year?!?!" "I might not have a JOB in a few months...".  "FFS just NO!"

4.  Same discussions were had at the end of LAST year regarding a gaming console (that is for both of us *rolling eyes*), a family trip to the most magical place on Earth, and an overpriced gym membership with a CONTRACT.  I nixed those ideas citing FAILING ECONOMY and potential job loss.  I was "vetoed".  And by vetoed I mean he bought them anyway even after I said, bad idea.  It was justified with bonuses, tax refunds, a more than likely promotion, and a but I really want ____.  Yes, lets spend money we don't have YET.  That whole working as a team thing in action *beating head on keyboard* jhakhdfkhsj.

5.  My female parental unit has been driving me up an ever loving wall with BS tech crap.  Look I get it...you weren't "raised" with computers....but NEITHER WAS I technically and I still figured them out.  So if you want my help STOP yelling at me when I try to help.

6. My office is in the process of selling EVERYTHING that we don't need and moving to a smaller location.  It has been "organized" chaos for 3 weeks. 

7.  I'm.a.girl

This is like the unholy aligning of everything awful.  I've managed so far.  I haven't lashed out.  I've taken everything in stride *whooosa*.  And then I broke.

Me: *sounding completely defeated* Can you please clean up the kitchen tonight, its your turn or something.
Other half: You aren't the only one who cleans the f**king kitchen
Me: Ummmmm, right...just asking and don't "curse at me"
Other half: Just saying, I'll do it later
*text notification*
Me: *sigh* why can't she just do what I tell her and not freak out in 1000 !!!!! because "she wasn't raised with computers"
Other half:  *silence* *staring at phone*
Me: Right  *goes to heat up dinner* *starts putting away dishes because I am in there so why the f**k not*
Me:  Can you feed the dogs?
Other half: *Silence*
Me: *starts feeding dogs*
Other half: *5 minutes later* I'm going to bring convict (dog) to see that vehicle.  *looks up* I said I'd do it!
Me: *with attitude* Really, didn't hear you say, well ANYTHING.  Plus, I was in here and I didn't want to "nag" you into actually helping out
Other half: *quietly* You sound like your mother
Me: *leans over sink trying to convince myself that throwing my dinner at him would be a bad idea and almost failing*

 *instead bursts into angry tears*
Other half: *doesn't notice* *comes in kitchen*  Why are you crying...?
Me: Go away, I've got it
Other half: I said I'd do it. Why are you crying???
Me: Please leave me alone
Other half: Stop.  Why...
Me: Of all the f**king things you could say to me, you say that?!!?!?
*chaos ensures* *confusion* *I was just jokings are said*
Other half: Well, that is something she would say

Me: I'm out...*has an anxiety attack in the bedroom*
*15 min later*
Other half: I'm going to check out that vehicle tomorrow
Me: *screaming in my head* Ya know what, whatever

I am very proud that I didn't throw anything because I REALLY WANTED TO.  I mean am I being too understanding...am I that hard to read...or is this just a case of "I want to do it, so I'm going to do it (or not do it), regardless of what MY SPOUSE says".  

P.S. We talked it out a little later and the vehicle is now off the table because "I don't want him to have it *rolling eyes*".  Still more to be discussed. We all have issues mine just all came to a head at one time.  Financial BS is the WORST, especially when only one of you seems to pay attention to the world outside of our little bubble.  3,000 people showed up to a New Costco where 300 jobs were being added.  THREE THOUSAND unemployed persons...most being overly highly qualified showed up to get jobs as cashiers and stockers (nothing wrong with those jobs, just pointing out how not normal that is).  Yes, lets buy unnecessary things right now, that's a great idea...