I immediately regret my decision to Google that...AGAIN

Okay so we all know I binge watched Jessica Jones, right?  Right.  Anyways, if you read my random ramblings here you will see there is a statement that piqued my curiosity. 

Everyone's favorite love to hate psychopath said something...which I could only assume is British...or would it be English...whatever its one of those...slang. My thoughts were "He called her an anal crumpet....is that a weird sex thing?  Or an interesting insult... ewwww". 

So I told my husband this and he's been randomly parroting it around the house because he is FIVE...but at some point he changed it to @$$ Crumpet...then he randomly Googled it last night because he wanted to know what it meant ... and now I am SCARRED FOR LIFE!

Urban Dictionary:
A crunchy ring of residue built up around the anus. The result of poor @ss wiping.

In case you didn't know Urban Dictionary is always 100% accurate and true *sarcasm* but regardless I need a memory wipe that doesn't, uh, leave any residue.  

FYI the "definition" for the original term is (Urban Dictionary):
The anal crumpet is an individual whose morals have collapsed into the rectum and much like hemorrhoids, they are painful to be around. This is an individual who is despicable and irrefutably nasty and has a history of being a player or attempting to be a player. The anal crumpet has no morals or is morally ambiguous, making them extremely unattractive or otherwise creepy.

I've been laughing hysterically because that is basically the description of Kilgrave, which if this is a true "definition", I am assuming is what the writers were trying to convey.  But since I didn't know the slang (clearly meant to be an insult)...I was confused.  And because I was scared of actually Googling that term...I didn't Google it.  I mean how do you explain THAT in your web search history without sounding like a perv?!?!  So I let my husband do it *muahahaha*.

This is from The Onion, right? Surely, America isn't really THIS uneducated...?

So I saw this:

My initial thought was "Ohhhh, someone at IFLS is getting in trouble....they done posted an Onion Article as fact".  And then I read the IFLS Article and the REAL NEWS ARTICLE and I face palmed so hard people are gonna think my husband beats me. 

In a town on North Carolina, a council REJECTED a new Solar Farm...mind you they have other solar farms already in use from what I gather...below were some of the arguments against it.  Its not direct quotes but the main ideas came from article linked at the bottom...

- A retired science teacher is concerned that photosynthesis would not happen and would keep the vegetation from growing. She said she has observed areas near solar panels where vegetation is brown and dead because it did not receive enough sunlight.

- She also questioned the high number of cancer deaths in the area, saying no one could tell her that solar panels didn’t cause cancer.

 

- You’re killing your town, All the young people are going to move out.

- The solar farms would suck up all the energy from the sun and businesses would not come to Woodland.

How can people actually believe anything of that nature?!?!?  This isn't the dark ages...do they not know how basic science works???  Okay, I get being unaware...MAYBE...but it is 2015 at least RESEARCH before you spew this nonsense.  We aren't depleting an energy source, we are using something that we already have in a different way.   Harnessing the "power" of the Sun will not make the sun go out!!!  Solar panels don't "steal sunlight" from plants and kill them, that is silly (science teacher my left ovary).  Solar panels don't cause cancer.  Prolonged exposure to the sun causes cancer...solar panels don't pull in more "rays" to the area.  So unless you are sitting inside the solar panel farm,  on top of a f**king solar panel (I don't recommend this...as someone said...you would fry before the cancer got you), you aren't getting increased exposure. 

Another commentor said "Pretty sure the young people aren't moving away from Woodland because of the solar farms. I'm pretty sure they are moving away from that town because the folk who inhabit it are missing a few chromosomes." (agreed) 

IFLS Article
News Article
Facebook Post

Trying to put down others for what they put on Facebook, but not being intelligent enough to realize you are part of the group you are trying to cut down

Soooooooooooooooooooooooo why would you post this?!!?!?!?  You changed your profile pic to the first filter.  I distinctly remember you having the rainbow one.  You just called YOURSELF out.  I am offended (hahaha, hehehehe, *snort*) because I changed my pic.  Okay not really...I could give a $hit what they think.  I am not clueless but it made me feel better to show some semblance of support after such a horrible crime.  Who cares if someone jumps on that bandwagon.  It is a kind gesture.  If you don't want to do it I am not judging you and I don't think different of you.  BUT I am judging this person right now because this is hilarious stupidity. 

Stop killing animals! Humans aren't carnivores, we are omnivores!

WHAT!?!??!!?  Sugar, do you know the definition of an omnivore?  It is an animal (person) that survives on food of both animal and plant origin.  Animal origin is meat, as in: Beef, Chicken, Pork, Seafood, etc. Look it up!

Humans are classic examples of omnivores in all relevant anatomical traits. There is no basis in anatomy or physiology for the assumption that humans are pre-adapted to the vegetarian diet. For that reason, the best arguments in support of a meat-free diet remain ecological, ethical, and health concerns.

I thought maybe they meant vegetarians but no, they didn't.   Someone else replied before I saw it, saying something similar to the above and their response was just...wow.  "No, not vegetarians.  We still need meat but we don't have to kill animals for it.  We can just go to the store." (I'm paraphrasing) WHAT?!!??!  Well, this post was a wild ride of non-sense from start to finish.

Now I've read a "stupid tweet/post" that went viral saying something similar and remember thinking "do people really think like that!?!? That can't be real!" but COME ON I am related to this person!  Surely they are kidding........making fun of that other post..........right........no.........f**k!  

How do we share DNA???  Are we becoming that dim-witted???  Meat at the grocery was once a living creature (well for now...until they start growing pieces in a lab...*shudder*).  Do these "youngins" not know that? Do they not realize that the pork chop they are consuming used to be Wilbur??? I can understand a young CHILD not really "knowing" but if you are over the age of 12 (I'm being generous here), you know where meat at the store comes from.........it's people, no wait that's Soylent Green.  

I have a request, can we change the status of Idiocracy from "fictional" to "documentary"?

It's what plants crave. . .

 And no I'm not knocking vegetarians or vegans.  If  you choose not to eat meat, whatever.

P.S. The reason there isn't a screen shot is because it was removed about a second after I read It and the 5 responses asking if they were dumb/drunk/high.  

Sometimes I want to fake an accent so people don't know where I am from...is that weird???

That sounds terrible...and I really am proud of my heritage BUT when traveling in other countries it becomes PAINFULLY obvious that I am not the norm for Americans.  I am not exaggerating.  We were out of the country recently and were told more than once by Europeans and citizens of the country we visited that we did not seem American.  Not because of our look...because of our attitudes. 

While I am fully aware the rest of the world basically laughs at us (come on we are a nutty/spoiled bunch), I guess I didn't really grasp why.  And yes I know every country has its crazies or rude people or @$$holes but I am not really talking about that.  Our citizens are just different and I am fairly different from many of my fellow citizens.  For instance, I have zero desire to go bankrupt buying designer things or live in a over-sized house, in a neighborhood I can't afford or have a car I can't make payments for without cutting back on things like food...I think you get the picture.  I always felt like I was weird because this stuff didn't matter to me but now I am realizing I am better for it.  And I don't mean people that can afford it...I mean people like me who live semi-comfortably but probably shouldn't blow $600 on a f**king purse when they aren't able to buy necessities...can you eat that purse? No.  That material stuff doesn't matter to me, it doesn't tell me you are of higher stature...it tells me you don't understand the value of money.  I'd rather spend my extra money and time, traveling the world but that is just me...more power to you if that material item gives you the joy and memories I have from visiting other countries.  I am not being a travel "snob".  I've had friends & family ask how we can afford to travel so much...they WANT to travel but they can't think beyond the purchase of (insert unnecessary EXPENSIVE item). 

Moving on, why do I say this...because when I travel outside the US and see Americans who do manage to travel, I cringe.  It is clear many have zero appreciation for other cultures and expect everyone to bend to their needs and wants.  "I am important because I am me", um no...you aren't really that important, you are just another person in a sea of people.  Yea they may travel there because it is "exotic" but they don't attempt to learn, understand, or respect these places.  It isn't all of us, obviously, but it is a frightening majority.  When I go to a foreign country, I want to be a part of it.  I learn key phrases in their language or learn their terminology (we all know words mean different things in other English speaking countries, WTF is a nappy?!?! I know now but I had to look it up).  It just hurts my head when I see others from my nation being disrespectful to locals (or other guests) because of a language barrier.  Sorry honey, you are in THEIR country...they may not know English well but at least they are trying.  I don't hear you trying to speak in their language.  Or b**ching because they don't have some American food/drink.  Who cares?!?! You are in a foreign country...try something new!  My favorite was "you know you talk funny right?!?" said to a British person in a immensely disrespectful way.  Yea well you "talk funny" to them also and that's not even proper English!!! Just saying!  Stop being a tw@t! 

Side note - control your spawn...no one wants to hear lil Johnny screaming his brains out (at the infantile age of 10) because the resort has Pepsi and not Coke and then hearing you yell at him to shut up, arguing with him instead of putting your foot down and then giving in and saying you'll buy the f**king $2.50 small BOTTLED Coke in the gift shop that isn't part of the all inclusive you clearly spent A LOT of money on.  Give him a water, its better for him anyway. 

My point is I've noticed I can scan a room of hundreds of people and pick out the Americans mostly because they are the ones being ignorant and rude.  Not all...for instance, there was this older retired couple who were just adorable and friendly and kind, we want to be like them when we grow up!  Clearly there are others like us but we seem to be few and far between.  At least where I was recently those rude/ignorant are the types of Americans we saw...  Which is probably why when making friends with a British couple they were shocked when we spoke because we didn't act like the other @$$es at the resort. 

Side Side Note - I've been told in my miniscule travels that the locals appreciate it when you attempt to communicate in their language.  It might not be perfect but it's a show of respect...something many in our country seem to be lacking these days.