Well if this is happening, where is Thing?

So my previous dream (saving the dog) jumped here. 

I was standing in the street and my little cousin (my cousin's Daughter) was in the box next to the trash can....she'd been hit by a car.  I guess saving the dog caused this?!?!?!

She stood up (Someone was screaming...it might have been me).  Ok so she's the dog now?!?!?  My sleep brain was so confused. 

She was in a dress with a tiara.  She stood up and was like $hit that hurt.  My younger cousin (her Aunt) was like JFC how are you alive!??!  Are you alive?!?!?

She was like yea I'm great.  But she was a weird pale color...dark circles and when she lifted her shirt and the contusions on her side were...AWFUL. Think like death becomes her but without the hole in the abdomen. 

I was freaking out.  She said "you brought me back".  WHAT??!?!?!

Some blonde haired woman with a Pixie cut in a fitted red dress was like "we need to move. There will be consequences".  PARDON.....?

It's still night.  There is still lightening.  We get to this building that looks like a cross between Jack Skellington's Lab and the Addams Family house.  It's dark inside....cluttered but sterile.  The big window from Wednesday was across the room.  Grandma Addams was the one that greeted us.  She said something about messing with dark forces.  

My little cousin was walking and talking just fine but everyone else seemed REALLY concerned.  The blonde went into the bathroom and got in a bath.  She was fully clothed, covered in bubbles, staring at the wall, and smoking a ciggy.  I touched her arm but she didn't move.  

I said "did saving her break something?"  She said she wasn't sure but we needed to keep moving because they were coming.  And they wouldn't stop until a wrong was righted.  

I walked back into the common area and people were chanting and in dark robes.  My little cousin was in the center smiling on her iPhone.  Lightning was still streaking through the sky. 

And it ended..............

Ever Dance with the Devil in the...bright sunlight?

 I know I know its a wrong quote, I am being funny.    I think I pulled a muscle and I hate everything.  

Kidding, I'm not that old.  But picture it... NOLA 2025.  Its summer and you are watering plants because Invest 93L was a joke and dropped like NO rain.  Ok it dropped some in other places but not a lot here.  

So there I am watering plants as a favor when something smacks me in the side of the face.  

I had music on so I didn't hear anything but looked around.  I didn't see anything so I went about watering and singing.  When out of nowhere I hear "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" by my ear. 

So I look and a f**king wasp hits the lense of my sunglasses.  

 

So I

All while holding the stupid watering wand in my hand. It was like the most spastic water ballet ever.

Meanwhile the f**king wasp kept coming.  So I am like screaming nonsense at this little flying demon. 

I finally dowse it in enough water it flies away.  That is when I realize I have like 20 notifications on my watch and I hear laughing.  

The ENTIRE ordeal is caught on the freaking Ring Camera and the laughing I hear is the person I am doing this favor for and his friends WATCHING ME FIGHT AN "INVISIBLE" THREAT!!!

Apparently he saw the alert I was in the yard and was bragging (AW) to his friends how awesome I am to take care of his plants.  And when he opened the camera to tell me hi.... the above happened.  Which was apparently very entertaining. 

His friend "we could go viral if we upload that!!!!"

Cue MORE laughter.  Yea yea yall live it up....I'll just go waterboard some wasps.  

Smokin' that W**d, Smokin' that Fiya

Okay not really.  I mean I don't poo poo on it.  But I've not been actually doing that YET my eyes are SOOOOOOO RED. 

And I don't mean bloodshot, tired red.  I mean "smoked a bowl" red.  

Not sure If I've mentioned before but I have Rosacea.  But not in the traditional sense...as in not bright red splotches on my cheeks/nose/chin. 

Oh no... my weird @$$ gotta be different.  My weird@$$ has rosacea...in my f**king eyeballs!

No lie my eyeballs starting getting dry and pissy and red.  I went to the Dr and they said 'oh baby that's Ocular Rosacea'.  I'm sorry...what?!?!

So I got an ointment...because that's what old people get for bull$hit.  So two-three times a day I get to put that in my eyeballs....otherwise...I look like f**king Cheech and Chong. 

Well that was the hottest Demon Possession ever

So I said the other day "hmmm I've not remembered my dreams lately" then -BAM- f**king nightmare. 

I say nightmare.  I mean it started that way. 

I lived in a small town after the world LITERALLY went to $hit.  It was like some weird combo of Supernatural, Handmaids Tale, and Hunger Games.  

People were fighting for food.  Like the "rich" who happened to be part of the f**king church made poor people fight...for FOOD!

But like there were supernatural things happening.  People were seeing weird things and weird things were happening.  Everyone who wasn't "rich" was pissed at the church but was scared to voice it. 

We all dutifully went to mass every day after working our @$$es off.  We got home after dark, cooked, cleaned and did it all again the next day.  IT SUCKED.  Our houses were like something out of the dark ages.  Mostly plain, mostly candle light or small lamps, gas or wood stoves.  Women were basically only there to breed and take care of the menfolk and kids. 

But the churches...they were bright and full of riches (WTF).  One day after a horrid time of explaining AGAIN that I can't make babies I heard a voice in my head.  It was a deep, sensual voice.  It sounded familiar and gave me chills but like in a good way, not scared.  It promised to free me from the turmoil of life and punish the church.  As tempting as that sounded I told it to F**K off and walked inside.  

It laughed....IT LAUGHED this rich amused chuckle and in a deep timber said it was only being nice, I didn't have to give it permission.  Suddenly I was flying through the air like a spastic supergirl and snarling at the priest adorned in gold. He threw holy water at me and an I said in a voice that wasn't mine "You can't make holy water if you are not a good person".  

I realized I was...enjoying this and started laughing and saying "Holy $hit I'm Flying!"  The demon seemed amused by my amusement.  

The poor were cheering and encouraging my...antics.  This happened for a while, not too long but we seemed to have like a symbiotic friendship...thing going on.  Then one day  I got hurt really really bad during one of our performances....and he left.  I became part of the resistance trying to get out from under the holy regime in control.  

Some time later after a raid, I hear the voice again but its not in my head. I turn and my jaw drops open.  Its Lucifer.  Not like biblical Lucifer...I mean Lucifer...I mean Tom Ellis...Lucifer!  I am at a loss for words.  Then he says "You know not all fiction is fiction... there is sometimes a little truth."  Sir are you implying Lucifer...the show was based on...NO WAY NO NAH AH!  And he had that...that predatory glean in his eyes, like he had in the stupid show.  That look that makes you feel funny things.  

He grabbed me by the back of my neck, then leaned in.  I could feel his breath on my lips as he said "Don't try to pretend you don't want this"

AND THEN I WOKE UP!  I woke up before the good part because my subconscious is an @$$hole!

So the doll did it

Okay so back in the day we didn't have alot of moula. Like we were okay-ish but I got hand me downs.  

One hand me down I received was a lifesize doll. 

Who the f**k thought that was fun?  Not like a My Buddy or Kid Sister.  This thing was from the 1950's (?)

She was about 3.5' tall, had matted/knotted horsehair, and her eyes were a haunting crystal blue that closed if you laid her down.  But she was old and one was always half closed.  I HATED HER.  

But my mom was so happy my g-ma kept her that I kept my little mouth shut and didn't complain when we brought her home. 

The idea was that since she was my size I could play dress up with her, etc.  But I was TERRIFIED of her.  I would hide her in my closet and behind my door so I couldn't see her. I never played with her no matter how much I was encouraged to. She ended up being used as a "mannequin" to make my clothes and dance costumes hahaha. 

I haven't thought about this f**king doll in 20+ years, until last night.  When I had a dream.  

In the dream I was in my childhood home but it looked different.  Like I felt like I was at home but it didn't look like my home.  It was bigger but still VERY 80's.  Brown carpet, wood panel walls, yellow-ish lighting, window AC units, and smelled of stale cig smoke. 

I was young-ish in the dream and was scared to death of being alone in the house.  The air felt heavy and weird $hit would happen, like the lights going out and weird noises. My mom kept telling me I was being silly and there was nothing to be scared of until one day I went into my room (which was like twice the size of my actual room) and that f**king lifesize doll was sitting on the floor staring straight ahead.  I yelled for mom and she was like "that's just Sally your new friend".  

I always put her in the closet but when I would come back she was sitting on the floor staring straight at the door.  I swore she was watching me.  One day I was sitting on the floor under the fan playing with legos when the hair on my neck stood up.  I just knew I wasn't alone.  When I looked over my shoulder Sally's head was turned towards me. 

I screamed bloody murder.  When my mom came in she was normal and I was scolded for making her worry.  I was barely sleeping because I was so terrified. I would run in the room, grab a toy and run out.  Weird stuff was still happening and I was getting blamed for it.  

I was punished in my room for being a sassy butthead.  I was griping to myself while sitting on the floor coloring when I got that feeling again.  My crayons flew across the room, my book flew the other way, my stuffed animals were floating and spinning in the air.  I turned and yelled at Sally that I hated her! 

Suddenly I was floating, I was trying to scream for my mom but I could barely make a squeak.  I tried harder and harder but hardly any noise was coming out.  I was flung into the wall which made enough noise for mom to come running in the room.  She saw the chaos and was stunned for a second.  She came to me to help me up and I was still trying to talk but couldn't.  She was like "WHAT???"  

I was sobbing trying to say its Sally!  But it was barely a whisper. I looked and pointed at the doll and watched in horror as her head slowly turn to look at us and I turned my mom's head and tried to scream "I told you that doll was evil!!!!!"

She started shaking me as I was trying to get noise to come out.  I woke up to hubs shaking me saying "hey, hey are you ok?!?!?" 

I had another one of those f**king dreams that was so intense my sleeping form was "screaming" well more like whining so loud it woke up everyone else in the house. 

They're like Vampires, you can't INVITE them in

When opportunities present themselves, you should seize them, right?

So imagine my surprise when I was gifted a brand new state of the art kitchen appliance!!!  Like purchased from the store would have been $300+.  Only been used a few months bc they moved in with their partner and didn't need two.  Anyways, we seized the opportunity.  

We didn't set it up right away because I was out of town and we were super busy so it was sitting in my office.  

Anyways, about 1 day after we got it hubs saw a critter on the counter.  It looks like a tiny bug who shall not be named but he wasn't sure.  That night he was having trouble sleeping so was up at like 3AM.  I was awakened at 5AM by him calling having a minor panic attack.  He didn't want to wake me but since he'd been awake, he'd killed 8 tiny bugs who shall not be named!!!! EIGHT! 

He woke me when he found one in the spare bedroom.  

I have a fairly severe phobia but mainly of the HUGE ones that fly.  The little ones just gross me out bc they usually mean "infestation" which WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K?!?!  We are borderline obsessive clean.   

He said he was tiptoeing around the house with a flashlight.  Every once in a while you'd hear "AH!" *splat*

By the time the sun was slightly up he'd killed about 15.  FIFTEEN!  He was awake now enough to be like WTF happened?????

We realized the ONLY "new" thing in the house....was the new....APPLIANCE...

He crept over and shined the light inside......................

IT WAS INFESTED WITH SKINNY GERMAN ROACHES!

What happened next was something out of Supernatural.

He carried it into the garage.  Did a Home Defense circle around it.  Then DROWNED it in Raid.  Like I'm sure it was no longer functional. 

He Home Defensed every doorway in the house. Then waited until the sun was up up to carry it to the curb

Meanwhile I am in another state calling an Exterminator.  I explained what happened and he said "I can have a guy there 1st appt."  

Now I'm home and so far I haven't seen any but Hubs has killed a couple more...one being in the effing cup cabinet.  So everything in there got washed.  

What kills me...like just WTAF man.... is that I literally was telling my travel buddies about how good of a deal it was and said "watch the damn thing have roaches in it". And we all had a good giggle. Clearly the universe has a sense of humor.  

Positive side of it...when they treated the house it also kills a bunch of other stuff so, yay.  

Kiss the girls with a dash of stockholm

I really do have vivid dreams sometimes....

The first thing I remember is waking up in a dingy, but bright luxury hotel room.  I feel woozy and can't focus on much but I remember lots of white decor and red roses in a vase.  My arms hurt and I am really really thirsty.  I hear a man's voice to my left but can't understand him.  As my brain tries to make sense of what is happening, I hear the voice again. "Aye lass, you finally joining the land of the living?" in a thick Scottish accent.  

Adrenaline shot through me and I realize my arms were tied above my head, I am on a bed, and am lacking much clothing so I'm very cold. I started to struggle but every movement caused a searing pain in my shoulders. *how long have I been tied up?!?* "Oi quit squirmin or ya may pop a shoulder".

I tried to relax but I was freaking out.  When I tried to talk my throat was on fire and I winced.  "That's whatcha get fer scremin lik a banshee".  I squeezed my eyes shut *This can't be happening*.  

I am in a bath washing off.  It hurts to move and the soap burns my cuts & scrapes, but I feel so unclean.  I was crying but not vocalizing.  I had a knot on the back of my head and a busted lip.  My eyes still can't focus well, but I know the tiles in the bathroom are turquoise. *what happened?!?*

My captor(?) comes in with a towel and says I've been in there long enough.  As I stood to get out the world went sideways and I started to fall.  He caught me before I hit anything, "Dun do that, now! Yer no gud to me dead." *What....?*

Its days(?) later and we are arguing.  He's yelling at me and calling me a "Numpty".  I'm yelling back, we need something other than Ramen Noodles and crisps!!! He's in my face and I finally register his look somewhat but still not clear.  I just can't see his features.  I know he's older, like later 50's maybe, gray/white hair cut short-ish, and he's tall...VERY tall. He finally concedes and leaves me locked in the room.  It's a gorgeous room but its a mess and seems small but not like a back highway motel.  

We are having dinner many days(?) later and its nice *wtf*.  We are eating on the floor from paper plates but its a steak dinner with wine.  Well I had wine he had something whiskey-esque...? His accent got thicker as he drank and he threatened me physically and verbally numerous times, grabbing my wrist roughly and shoving me while calling me all kinds of unsavory things.  He was passed out in a chair and I went to the bathroom to put on clothes that weren't Sexy Jammies so that I could escape.  I had the keys in my hand and was ready to steal his van.  But as I was about to leave I heard a voice scream in my head "Don't!!! He's not far gone enough and he will kill you."

Conflicted, I put the keys down and wandered over to him.  He grabbed my neck clumsily and asked why I put trousers on.  I croaked out I was cold and he threw me into a wall saying "Ye fecking c**t, yer lucky, damn lucky." and left. 

He's hurt, really really hurt and bleeding.  I don't know what happened but I'm...worried *WTF*.  He was struggling to dress his seeping wounds.  I started helping.  He screamed at me to "feck off" and I yelled back at him to shut up! So he let me take care of him.  After cleaning and dressing his more serious wounds, I was cleaning a gash on his forehead, he angrily asked me why I didn't let him just f**king die.  I couldn't answer because I should just let him bleed to death. "I....I don't know."

And that's when he gently touched my face *what?!?*. I could feel him staring at me. I was trying to really focus on the gash and not his piercing gaze. Once I had the butterfly suture things on and bandaged I sat back and realized he was still staring at me.  He seemed conflicted...scared and confused, like no one had ever shown him compassion before. 

We are lying facing each other in the bed, holding hands. We are clothed and he's still staring and caressing my hair. He kissed me gently on the lips. *gasp* Then on the forehead. "Oh love, I am so so sorry."

That's it....it ended....I woke up to crashing thunder and no power....

The * are my thoughts, not said out loud. Please forgive my weird "Scottish" typing...I'm sure its not accurate but the best I can figure. I think he was conjured from a character in a book I'm reading, although that character isn't a bi-polar abductor just an old angry Scotsman. 

A Pool party rave with a touch of fantasy

Lately I have been having the WEIRDEST Dreams. 

I was at a Warehouse party.  Because that is what people my age do...go to warehouse parties.  Anyways, I knew absolutely NO ONE which is always fun. It was daytime and very sunny outside.  There was a pool.  Again because there is always a luxury hotel pool at a Warehouse Party. *facepalm*

Suddenly I was serving shots wandering in and out.  Wait wait wait, why am I working now?!  There were palm trees.  WTF Kind of warehouse party is this?!?!   I looked down and I had on a bikini top and a grass skirt.  Jesus where am I?!?

I wandered into the warehouse which was basically a rave.  My top and skirt glowed neon along with a bunch of drawings on my body that seemed to be invisible ink reacting to  black lights.  Oh how 90's.... I was having fun being silly and serving drinks.  But I wasn't collecting money, just tips, so I guess just a server for a party.  

As I was working the crowd a shadow grabbed my arm.  WTF?!?  Ah not a shadow, a guy in a dark hoodie and dark pants.  He basically blended into the darkness except he had crystal blue kind eyes.  After I yelped out of fear he motioned for me to follow.  AND I DID.  What was I thinking?!?!

Off in a corner he looked very seriously at me and tried to tell me something but I couldn't understand what he said.  I told him I needed to get back to passing out drinks and went to refill my tray.  As I was flirting for tips (good lord) I would catch him watching me but he never approached again.  

It jumped and my "boss" came over to tell me I was done for the night.  I remember saying the party still had hours left and I wanted to get paid.  He said I would and then some but I was to put up my tray and go enjoy the party.  

So I did.  I had a froo froo drink with an umbrella and was leaning against the bar...BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW ANYONE.  I heard someone speak right next to my ear. *ahhhhhh* It was my hoodie...friend...?!?  

After the initial shock, I remember we were talking and laughing like old friends but I don't know about what. Someone nearby recognized him and he kinda freaked out.  He threw a blanket over us and we ran out of the "rave".  Where the hell did he get a blanket?!?!?

Next thing I know we are at the pool but its closed so it's just us.  The sun was low in the sky but it was still fairly light out and you could hear the beat of the music from the warehouse.   He led me over to a corner bench area with a huge red umbrella.  We heard people walking outside the pool area so we hid under the blanket which is totally normal around a pool...in the sun!  But it wasn't hot at all. 

We were whispering and laughing like a couple of goofy teens trying not to be seen when he kissed me.  It was very clumsy and awkward.  Like so awkward! But then we adjusted a bit tried again and it was just so sweet and gentle.  

The sun had set and we got up to sneak back into the rave for drinks.  He grabbed my hand to hold as we were walking and it was cold, like unnaturally cold.  When I looked down his arm was metal. Whaat?! He pulled me into the shadows and said "I tried to tell you".  How the f**k did I not notice a metal arm when we were giggling under a blanket?!!?!?!

Wait wait wait, rewind...how the f**k did I not notice that I was hanging out with Bucky Barnes all night?!?!? We were stopped just outside the Rave and he was hovering over me in my personal space but not threatening.  He was staring intently at me again, then smiled and said "Hi, my name is Sebastian." And I woke up!  I f**king woke up!  I have no idea what was going on.

WTF Brain?!?

Eleventy

 I have no idea what that means but I woke myself up saying that.  Like I literally jolted awake saying "Eleventy". 

At the time I vaguely remember, remembering more of the dream but now its just that word.  A word as far as I know I've never heard!  Okay maybe I've heard it...maybe but I don't recall and I really want to know why my subconscious woke me up saying that.  

I didn't know they chirped!

Why couldn't I just live in my happy little bubble thinking those little f**kers didn't make noise. 

No, I had to be INFORMED (for whatever reason) by my husband WHO KNOWS MY FEAR that bugs who shall not be named...those creeptastic lil bastards.... CHIRP!  I didn't believe him so I went to Google....

I thought it was lizards.  Why couldn't you just let me BELIEVE it was Gekos?!?!?

Aside from the fluttering of wings or the clicking and scampering sounds that a variety of bug species make, they don't typically make a lot of noise. However, some species of cockroaches do hiss and chirp.

...noises are made during courtship and mating. 

...noises are produced during an interaction where the insect feels threatened.

....the chirping is both annoying and chilling.

*THUD*

Sorry, I fainted....The wing flutter and scampering is ENOUGH.  And I know about those hissing mofo's  EFF THAT!  But chirping...CHIRPING!?!?!?!?

God f**kall I didn't need to know this either!!!! "They can bite, too, but bites are rare and harmless."

So maybe som of the chirping I am hearing when I hang out outside at night with the dogs is possibly a f**king Bug Who Shall Not Be Named!!!  I can't see them...

 And just because its accurate....

Wait, why did they cut some random child's hair??? Was it on fire???

"Two volunteer firefighters are on leave after an Ohio family dispute about a child's haircut resulted in investigations, according to the fire chief." Link

This whole thing makes it sound like two Volunteer Firefighters grabbed some random girl and chopped off her hair for no reason.  This has nothing to do with them being f**king firefighters!  This is stupid.  I do agree what they did was completely irrational and wrong, but maybe they news station should MENTION somewhere before the FOURTH paragraph in the article that it was the Step Mother and Father who did this and they HAPPEN to be Volunteer Fire Fighters.  This is a domestic issue to be investigated by CPS. 

This has nothing to do with their volunteer work.  Also, why is the fire chief involved???  Did they use their "titles" as firefighters to harm someone?  No.  This is a FAMILY issue!!!

If I f**ked up it wouldn't say "Account Manager for ______ company did whatever to ________, a Manager for ______".  It would say 30 something woman lost her composure and hit her husband.  Actually it probably wouldn't even make the f**king news. Also, I wouldn't harm my husband it was just an example.

I feel AWFUL for that girl.  It is truly terrible!  But thankfully in this instance, its only hair...it will grow back.  Is it scarring, of course and I think Step Mom and Dad should be investigated.  But for the news outlet to say two firefighters on leave because of a child's haircut is so stupid!

Take about sensationalizing an otherwise, unfortunately, normal story. It almost overshadows the fact that CLEARLY there is a parenting problem that CPS needs to be involved in. 

I hate the media sometimes!

That's some Arachnophobia level weirdness

I am not scared of spiders BUT I feel like if I lived in Australia I would develop some sort of phobia.

In case the video fails.... 

At this point I'd have been a bit freaked out...but she got him out....

"Surprise Mother F**ker!!!"  About here I would have $hit a brick

 JFC I saw a movie about this ...it doesn't end well for the person driving

I mean she FINALLY got rid of it. After four days.  I think I would have burned the car...

Yea yea, its a "harmless" spider but STILL!  If it jumped on my face while driving its not so harmless.  

Natural Selection.....

I try not to judge but come on people!

1.)  If you have to boil water for drinking (we were under a boil water advisory after the freeze)...LET THE WATER COOL BEFORE DRINKING IT!  Very young kids may not understand this but f**king adults should know not to swallow scalding water ffs!  Ours news stations actually had to say this...

2.) Ice = Slippery.  If you venture out unnecessarily when everyone and their grandmother is saying stay in...please be very very careful...

Thankfully my job doesn't require me in the office.  I know others did/do but if its retail/restaurant/office...why?! No one was working, much less leaving their houses and schools/government offices were closed.  Emergency personnel I understand.  Skeleton crews at groceries/pharmacies if they can get there, I can understand, but the f**king mall...?  

Who the hell woke up Wednesday and was like I know I might die on the road but I really need a new pair of kicks?!?!?! 

No one, so why the f**k was the mall open?!?!?

Again...I try not to judge but this $hit makes me angry...closing for a couple days is better than losing an employee(s) because they were hurt trying to get there.  

3.) Next! Why are people eating Tide Pods?!?!?!?  Stop that right now!  

My 11 y/o niece wants to know if when you become a teenager/adult you become stupid because according to her "Even my 5 y/o sister knows not to eat laundry detergent".   

I am not talking about very young children, people with mental disorders, or people with dementia.  These morons are "normal" teens/adults doing STUPID things to become internet famous.  

This is almost as bad as the dumping boiling water trend that thankfully lasted a very short time but only after some poor child was literally scarred for life.  Or what about the cinnamon challenge where you eat a spoonful of cinnamon and try not to choke to death.  

While I hate cinnamon and would never try this, this was incredibly dangerous.  Ingesting that much at once can cause coughing which causes you to inhale the powder still in your mouth.  Which can lead to inflamed lungs and trachea causing more problems OR you might not be able to catch your breath.  It was a stupid challenge.  

Who the f**k thought this was a good idea?!?  I know people were dared to do stupid things when I was younger...before the internet was so widespread but I don't recall anyone doing anything THIS stupid.  Disgusting and risky...maybe but deadly...never or very very rarely.  

So here is your take away........don't do drugs, drink with caution, Stop eating Tide Pods, don't pour boiling water on people, use cinnamon like a normal person, don't put on accelerant and light yourself on fire (yes, that was a thing for a hot second), don't put salt on your arm and then cover it with ice (it burns), just use your f**king brain!  5 seconds of  internet fame isn't worth it!

In today's issue of What the f**k is happening....

I saw this:

Link

So let me get this straight.  You created an ad that, like a pregnancy test, can tell if you are pregnant.  Therefore revealing a coupon for a crib.  Okay.  Right.  There has got to be a better way to do this!!!!!  Because after pissing on this you have to bring it to the store to use the coupon.  I'd hate to be the cashier getting handed a bunch of pee soaked coupons.  Just the levels of gross.  Y'all!!!! I know its only in Sweden now but...ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.  Do y'all hate your employees?!!?!?

A close second WTF was this (not gross):

Is this for real?!?!?!  First of all those are two very conflicting things.  Frozen vs Hot....we are talking opposites here.  Did you miss that day in kindergarten???

This exists...the word you were looking for is Milkshake.  Or McFlurry, Frosty, DQBlizzard, etc.  Just make it with Chocolate ICE CREAM or chocolate syrup or whatever!

Were you raised by animals?!?!?!

Wait...that's an insult to animals.  So like there is this almost epidemic happening with the Flu.  Everyone seems to be getting it.  So far I have been INSANELY lucky.  I am taking immune boosters just in case.  I don't care if they are proven, they make me feel better...placebo effect...whatever. 

Anyways, going out in public you run the risk of being infected.  Well I might not want to be sick but like hell I was missing Comic Con.  So I took my stuff and ventured out. 

For the most part I didn't hear anyone severely ill.  Here and there you would hear/see a sneeze/cough but nothing drastic.  But just in case I had my handy dandy false sense of clean (hand sanitizer) and was a little crazy with using it.  But I was touching things other, possibly sick, people touched so better safe than sorry, right.

Towards the end of our day at WWNOLA I was thinking out loud to my hubs how nice it was that there wasn't any OBVIOUSLY ill people.  Can someone slap me next time I make a stupid f**king comment like that?!?!  Because that is just BEGGING the universe to f**k with me. 

There I was walking down one of the many exhibitor aisles looking at all the fun stuff when I went through a "crossing".   Some man walking perpendicular to me full on coughed....INTO THE SIDE OF MY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He didn't attempt to turn.  He didn't attempt to cover his mouth. 

Just hacked up a lung within 12 inches of my face.  He coughed so hard my hair blew in the "wind". 

And not just a *cough, cough*, it was like one of those "wet", I might have an infection, deep chest coughs. 

I was so grossed out I literally froze in place. 

Before I could freak out some other patron dressed as some creepy zombie looking thing smacked him on the back of his a head and said "what's wrong with you?!!?!?!".  He beelined it WITHOUT apologizing.  The zombie looked at me and said "that's how virus' spread" and walked off. 

I lost if laughing, like full belly laugh with giggles.  A ZOMBIE told me, that's how virus' are spread.  I don't know if he was trying to be funny but me and at least 3 other people who were nearby thought it was freaking hilarious. 

"How did the Zombie apocalypse start?", well you see some @$$hole went to Comic Con sick.  "Son of a B**ch!". 

I crack myself up.

Also, we are not talking like a kid or young person.  We are talking a GROWN @$$ MAN who should know to cough into his elbow!!!!