Don't drive in a tornado or tornado like weather...its a bad idea...just don't do it!

Okay so we all know this right?  I mean I know this.  The problem is when you don't know how bad the weather is gonna be and you are already driving. 

So I met some friends in from out of town for drinks.  I knew bad weather was coming in overnight but not till after midnight, so I could leave by 10PM and be fine, right?  WRONG!

Right at 10 I started getting alerts on my phone, hmmmm odd.  Then I got a text from my mom...then from my hubs...then from my Godmother all about the impending weather...Uh oh, what is going on?!?  I pull up the weather map and there is a solid wall of red about 70 miles WNW of my house...should be at my house in 45 min - 1hour.  CRAP! Takes me 20 min to get home... Must leave NOW.  As if on cue a bolt of lightening so bright it lit up the entire area streaked across the sky, followed a bit after by a crash of thunder so loud it literally shook the building.  We were on the 2nd floor...it was f**king scary. 

Okay, I must leave 10 minutes ago.  I tried to rush our waitress but she was petrified and took FOREVER with my check.  Those precious minutes are gonna bite me in the @$$ aren't they..?

So I FINALLY left.  Minimal rain and wind but the light show that was happening...have you seen War of the Worlds?  That's what was f**king going on!

I was doing good.  At the rate I was going I should make it home WELL before the worst of it hits.  And then you factor in other drivers who are MORONS! So apparently what you are supposed to do in a lightening storm (little rain/wind) is slow down to a crawl while driving across a waterway and STARE at the f**king insanity happening all around you. 

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!  That isn't what you do.  You f**king drive because you don't want to be on the god blessed road when the bottom falls out!!!!!!!!!

So that was what happened.  I was half way across the bridge when Armageddon occurred.   The rain started coming down harder and harder.  The wind kicked up a bit but it was manageable.  We were all going maybe 40 MPH with flashers on.  You couldn't see much except when the lightening lit everything up.  This was 100% unnerving because we were over WATER and couldn't see $hit! 

Then it happened.  My phone went bat$hit crazy.  The radio went bat$hit crazy.  There were Emergency Alerts coming from basically everywhere.  Seek shelter NOW!  Where am I gonna find shelter I am on a f**king bridge?!?!!?

Before the reality of the situation could sink in a solid wall of white...water...rain...something...came CRASHING over the bridge from my left. I didn't hit the brakes, I just took my foot off the gas, I am fairly certain I screamed like a crazy person, and I prayed to anyone listening.  The wind was insane, the rain was insane, my car went from the left lane to the right lane....and then it was mostly over.  WTF?!?!!?  All the cars around me were stopped.  We all slowly started going again...before I knew it we were all going about 70 *f**k this $hit* MPH to get off the damn bridge. 

Clearly I am alive and made it home safely.  I can't believe I drove in that.  After the debacle at the restaurant I should have just stayed at my friend's house until after midnight. 

Lesson - Weather forecasts are just guesses...they have a 50/50 shot of getting it right.  This was moving WAY faster than they thought...I should have known better and just stayed put.

It is not 1920, at least last time I checked

If I am right, and I usually am, it is in fact 2015.  A time where we are not governed by the ridiculous standards of our grandparents (great grandparents) time.  Women are not just seen as an accessory for a man...they are their own people...with their own careers...with their own mind.  It hurts my brain every time I hear someone say something that sounds like it came out of the early 1900's.  I will sum it up...er, well list it out, below.  And note that I know this does not define everyone...I am just saying I have been shocked to hear such things in today's society.

1.) "Oh my God!  Did you hear she's pregnant???  She's not even married! Such a shame."

Um...first what does being married have to do with having a baby???????????  Last I checked it takes two to tango...why are we focusing on the woman here?  Who cares if there is or isn't a husband in the picture.  $hit happens people!  We are a free loving society...not many people wait till marriage to have $ex so quit being so judgmental. It isn't a shame.  What is a shame is it was probably completely unplanned which means a lot of things are going to change for her (and him).  They need our support not our sideways stares and hushed whispers. 

2.)  "She got knocked up on purpose!" 

Yes there are women who have done this but come on.  Accidents do happen ya know and again there was a guy there who had to contribute.  You think your sig other is trying to get PG on purpose wrap that $hit up son or don't sleep with her, you do have a say ya know.



3.)  "Well now they have to get married, for the baby."

Really...that is your take away here???  Sure lets force marriage on people who had a whoops.  Lets create a potential hostile situation where two people who maybe barely know each other or weren't meant to be married are coerced into it because their sexual exploits created a new life.  This just creates a higher divorce rate and a bad situation for the little one.  A baby does not equal must get married.  If at some point it happens, great, but don't force it because you are having a baby.

4.)  "Make an honest woman out of her."

I am going to nut punch you!  I am not even addressing this one further.

5.)  "You ruined my life!" 

Wow!  While I understand having a child is a big deal...saying it ruined a life is going a bit far.  And again...you took part in this.  To make a baby you had to insert tab A into slot B.  It's not like she siphoned off your little swimmers without your permission or he put them in you without permission (forced sexual content excluded).  If you aren't ready to support another life, maybe you should have thought about that before you did the horizontal mambo. 

6.)  "I pulled out, she must have cheated on me!"

WTF are you smoking?!?  Sex ed 101...pulling out doesn't work.  There is still a chance some can get through...this isn't her fault...man up!  Take some responsibility.



7.) "You can't keep it!" or "You have to keep it!"

They can do what they want...  I am not touching the pro life/pro choice debate with a 10 foot pole but I am saying if she does have the baby, adoption is a solution...if dad wants him/her okay but you can't tell her she has to keep it... just like you can't tell her she can't keep it.  He/she is her baby too...





8.) "I can't believe he is dating her...she has a child!" 

While I understand when you are in your early twenties this can be a slight hindrance it shouldn't dictate whether or not you like a person.  So what if his sig other has child already, I can almost guarantee he isn't a virgin so he very easily could have fathered a child also, even though he hasn't (that we know of). Do not judge her because she has a child, just don't...we should be a forward thinking society..STOP!

       a.) What kills me further is when said person decides he wants to marry this "harlot" and *gasp* 
             adopts her child.  Some people freak out...why?!?  I think that is very
             sweet..admirable...treating someone else's child as your own.

       b.)  Also, for some reason when the situation is reversed the guy is seen as almost a hero. "He 
             has a child.  He is clearly a good man if he is so involved in his child's life."  There isn't the
             same stereotype for him (sometimes there is but not usually).

Single dad = hero, single mom = whore...

what the actual f**k...just no.

Maybe it is just in the Deep South but I doubt it.  Life isn't easy...add a kid to it and it gets even harder but we should NOT be judging people based on this.  There are so many other more important situations we can focus on instead of whether or not a woman happens to have a child out of wedlock. 

How could you?!? I trusted you!

Seriously though... There you were being all perfect.  I mean you looked absolutely delicious...I could have just devoured you right then and there.  You smelled divine, how in the world was I supposed to control myself.  The growing hunger was driving me mad!  And then it happened, I took a taste.  Albeit a small taste but a taste non the less.  And you burned me...you burned me so bad I was crying.  There I was just staring at nothing with tears streaming down my face thinking how much it hurt.

Damn you delicious french bread pizza I have a blister on the roof of my mouth now!!!  And I am pretty sure I am missing a few taste buds...ahhhhh I have made a terrible mistake!

You would think 5 minutes of cooling would have sufficed but noooooooooooooooooo.  No instead of a delicious lunch, I had hot lava cheese stuck to the roof of my mouth.  I panicked!!!  I tried to use my tongue to get it off but it started to burn my tongue.  So then I just leaned over my plate hoping it would fall out and it did but not before catching on a tooth and slapping itself to my chin leaving a bright red spot.  Great, I look like I got punched in the face!  On top of that because of the 3rd degree burn on my hard palate and minor burn on my tongue I sound like I have developed a speech impediment.  Not that there is anything wrong with people with speech impediments but when you talk on the phone as part of your job it can be quite hindering.  Also I can actually feel a layer of skin dying and falling off...its dangling behind my front teeth and it is grossing me out!  But I am still starving so I must eat.  The problem is that EVERYTHING I put in my mouth makes me feel like I just took a swig of acid. This includes plain water.  Eating is no longer enjoyable for me at this time. 

So again, I curse you stupid french bread pizza!  You have damaged me, I can no longer trust you to be my yummy lunch.  You are no meal, you are a mouth destroyer.  You sit on a throne of lies! Be gone vile meal impersonator. 

Sometimes it's hard to be happy...

...when a good friend of yours is so sad!

I am on cloud nine and in what appears to be a promising relationship :) .... but... A few posts back I talked about a friend of mine whose hubby had an emotional affair...well a few weeks after I posted that it was discovered it was a FULL BLOWN affair. He slept with another woman...for 6 months! Well my friend forgave him with conditions (not sure if I could do it but I've never been in THAT position so I dunno). Things have been fairly good considering. They have good days and bad days but he seemed genuinely sorry and wanting to make things work.

Well today I spoke to her and she was crying!!! You see ever since this all happened he drinks...a good bit...on Fridays after work. But said he wanted to try and stop. Ok cool! Well he just got a new job and was sent for training out of state all this week. She called him last night to see how his day was....he was in a bar. Talking to the waitress and telling his WIFE how the waitress thought his facial hair was sexy and wanted to know if she was gonna come up there and "cut a bitch". NICE :P. Well he said they would be leaving soon and he'd give her a call later. 10:00PM rolled around and still no call so she called him so his KID could say goodnight... He was still at the bar... DRUNK! He said he couldn't hear her and he'd call her back. He never called...she called him a few times...no answer. She stayed up ALL night waiting for him to do the right thing! Never happened...

She talked to him this morning and he doesn't remember her calling at 10 OR that she called a few times and he didn't pick up. He is sorry...or so he says but she is crushed...AGAIN! She is on the verge of making the most difficult decision of her life and all he can say is sorry I effed up...again...my bad :P. I don't get it...Why is it that he got to cheat...was forgiven...and he makes no effort. He should be KISSING her butt for forgiving him...instead he got drunk and dropped off the radar for a night.

I hate seeing my friends hurt by their Husband/Wife/GF/BF... it kills me. And although she is so happy that I am happy with my boyfriend (wow that still sounds weird to me) its hard for me to accept that there are still decent guys out there when I am watching a former decent man throw his marriage away!!! Most men are PIGS I just hope we all find that one out there that still has enough morals to be a loving husband and father....

Feeling really really bad now...

Ever had your eyes opened suddenly?

So the holidays have been rough. Fun but rough. I realized today that I may have screwed up... You see Internet guy really really really wanted to meet my family and friends for xmas and I said flat out no. Mainly because many of my distant fam doesn't know about me and my ex and that would have been WEIRD for us both plus my friends...they are VERY protective of me and I wasn't sure how'd they react. And thats a HUGE step for me. My family and friends are everything to me. I don't just bring guys to meet them. Well it caused a HUGE fight. And I was so mad at how he talked to me and told me I didn't care. Plus I felt like he just didn't get it. SO I gave a little and said he could meet two of my girls xmas night if we did something. He took that as drive to the area and wait for me... then get mad when I don't call. Well Christmas night was the last straw for me. He fussed at me and told me I was inconsiderate and then hung up. Well I was PMSing and pissed so when he called back I didn't answer.

Flash forward to today (Dec 27). I read a survey on social networking site and realized I was overly bitchy. I really hurt him and was completely insensitive to that. I really wasn't trying to be but I was. And I pride myself on knowing what to say and reading people and this time I was totally off!

All he wanted was my attention, thats it. He wasn't trying to force himself into my family and friends (although thats what it seemed like to me) and just wanted me to give a little and I am so keen on being independent I shut him out and obviously sent mixed signals. Now I still stick to my list of needs from a man but today I realized he will meet more of them than I let on and I was just trying to justify not being with him. I talked to him today and feel awful. I don't want a relationship, I think he knows that but I like him... ALOT more than I thought. I don't want him out of my life, I thought I did but I don't. I think my problem is see things progressing and I am scared. I can see us together and I am freaking out. I pushed him to act this way by being selfish.... which honestly I am entitled to after the last 5 years but he doesn't deserve the brunt of my excess baggage, right? So we talked on the phone today for just a few minutes while he was at work and I apologized for dragging him into this and he apologized for over-reacting. Not a great conversation but an OK one.

I still think he has alot to do before I could ever consider him my boyfriend... like deciding what he wants to do with his life, growing up and moving out. Oh yea and that whole mistrust thing. But I have alot to do too. I have to not treat him like he will crush me and screw up like my ex, make progress with getting out of my house and realize I will never be happy in another relationship until I get over my fear of men.

I think I am done now, I need to stop crying before I go out with my girls later. *sigh* I really hate drama and this time I caused it...!!!!!!!

**EDIT - 12/29/08 - Ok so we talked ALOT right after I wrote this and last night. He annoyed the S**T out of my right after but last night we were cool. He says I have a lot to do to make it up to him. I pretty much said what you see is what you get, deal with it. And I think we are cool. I'm not going to be with him, nor do I want to although we mesh really well. I guess we'll see what happens and who comes along in the mean time ;). K going back to work now :D

History Repeats Itself...

Should you learn a lesson from others mistakes?

I think yes. Especially if you watch something happen to a friend or family member and start to see the same things happening to you. That should be a red flag that a similar situation is about to arise. What am I talking about you might ask. Well there are two situations that until things got out of hand with my relationship, I didn't realize how similar everything was.


1st: My friend has been with this guy since our freshman year of college. They were engaged by our Junior year and living together in NOLA. After a 5 year engagement he started to shut down. He didn't want to be intimate, communicate or give affection/attention. She ended up with someone else briefly, broke off the engagement and moved out. She was gone for maybe 6-8 months (if that) then moved back in with him. From what I know they never really resolved anything. Its a relationship of convenience. He does his thing and she does hers and occasionally they do stuff together. They decided (she decided) they would not marry or have kids. BUT they care about each other on some level. He shows it more than she does but the attraction is there no matter how much they try to hide it.


2nd: I come from a divorced family. I was young when it happened but I was old enough to see and understand some of it and what I didn't understand then was understood as I got older. My parents fought a lot. Mainly about communication, time apart/together and money. They blamed each other for everything and always thought the other was uncaring/cold. Then one day he left. There was no fight, no talk, nothing. He grabbed some clothes and left. No more talking or fighting...well until they went to court. Now they get along OK, but there is still so much tension when they are together.

I don't want to be like this...like either of the above. I want to be able to talk and work through things instead of letting things build up, blow up and then glaze over them. Its hard to talk especially about serious stuff but I know I can do it...I've been in enough relationships to know that its better to get it out. BUT my man (ex, I guess) doesn't understand it. I'm his first serious relationship. I hate being the learning curve! I can see it now...

We break up because he is unable to get past communicating THEN he meets another girl and he uses the experiences he learned from destroying our relationship to make that one work. When all along had he done it in ours we would have been peachy keen. I know its a little selfish to think of it this way but I can't help it. I seem to always be the learning curve they use to make future relationships work. Why can't I get the guy that has already F-ing learned!?!

But how do you do it? How do you save a relationship when the other person doesn't know how to be in a relationship this serious? How do you get your current man to learn from your previous relationship downfalls? I guess I'll find out soon...we are supposed to talk again...'talk' yea thats part of the problem right there...