We all paid to be here, no need to be a whale vagina

Okay okay its actually getting to the end of festival time because its about to be hella hot. But the last couple weeks have been one of the BIGGEST and most known.

The New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival!!!!!!!!!!

You see this insanity is two weekends.  It brings in HUGE musical acts from around the world and patrons from around the world.  Its INTENSE. But outside of the festival there are always hundreds of concerts all over the city from Tiny venues to the superdome.  Performers are everywhere and fans are ready to attend.  

I've not been to a concert since pre-covid.  I've been to festivals but not a concert (Garth doesn't count, that was a f**king Stadium!!!). 

So I attended a locally popular band who came in for Jazz Fest.  And can I tell you people...are still f**king AWFUL.  You forget how terrible people can be until you are in a crowd. 

We got there early to get a spot upfront (well like 2nd row of peeps, SUPER close).  It's a small venue and honestly there isn't a bad place to stand/sit in the house but we had "VIP" and got in early.  We made friends with everyone around us because we all know at some point you have to pee or get a drink and you want "help" keeping your spot while your partner runs off.  

It wasn't too bad.  Like no throwing elbows.  But right before the main act came on my "new friend" had to go pee so her husband who was a bigger guy was "holding" their spot.  I literally turned my head for two seconds and two chicks jumped in front of him *WTF*.  There wasn't alot of space, they just pushed in.  

So I put my foot out to keep them from standing in front of me because like hell I am giving up my spot when I've been here for 2 hours.  Wifey came back and was WTF??!!?  I pulled her next to me and was like nope you are still here ma'am.  Well then hubs had to pee so I did the RIDICULOUS straddle the area move.  Our "friends" were teasing me but all in good fun.  But Like I am legit 5'1"....my stance is not big.  But I made myself as "BIG" as possible and my new friends helped me keep the space.  OUT OF NO WHERE some chick comes be bopping up from the back.  Now I am 1000% non confrontational but come on.  

She straight up stepped on my foot and I said "No ma'am.  My husband is standing here."  She looked at me like I was crazy but the nice man behind me said "you dont look like her husband, go on git".  She was about to argue and he goes, "look, we've been here all night.  You want front row you get here early, move ON!".  And she left.  I was like OMG thank you!

As I am still straddling (don't think I was being an @$$, I literally was just trying to keep a small space for two persons) some chick stands literally in front of me.  Leans back INTO MY CROTCH and hands her friend (spot stealer #1 that stood in front of the couple next to me) a drink.  

My mouth got the best of me and I said "are you f**king kidding me????"  She is literally twice my size and probably 5'6"-ish, she looked at me like I grew a second head and said "what?".  I said "You are NOT standing there.  I've literally been here for 2 hours and you are straddling my f**king leg!!!"  She said "OMG bish chill, I'm going to the other side of my friend."  I said "cool fine, then move". And she did.  And I 100% know she had zero plans of doing so until I made a scene.  Because if you are moving along you say "omg excuse me just trying to get through".  She just stood on top of me and seemed perfectly comfy resting on my thigh/crotch.  There was ZERO room in front of me.  She was being a TW@T.

Anyways main act begins and its f**king amazing! We are all singing and bonding and having the best time.  When suddenly I feel tits...on my shoulder!  Like not the lady behind me who is literally my height.  Like someone taller so pressed up against me their tits are on TOP of my shoulder. Okay look I know I am at a concert and people will squish together but this felt different. 

So I turn my head and this chick straight up says "can i get in front of you for a few minutes."  

*you CANNOT be serious*. 

She is literally almost a foot taller than me...  So I said "hahaha...No...".  She seemed shocked I would deny her and was like lost for words.  Then said "well can I stay here?"  I said you need to ask the lady behind me.  And I STG she said "I don't want to she's mean".  And I was like "well yea I guess she is!" and turned around.  My friend next to me pushed her shoulder next to mine and screamed "HOLD THE LINE!" hahaha

Well the nice lady behind me was like "Um get the f**k B." and she was like "but I paid...just like you did". And the nice lady's husband goes "yea but you didn't get here 2 hours ago so move your @$$". 

So she backs up...and stands in front of a woman who is WAY shorter than me.  A complete stranger...as in someone who didn't know this tiny lady lost his $HIT on this chick.  It was EPIC!!!!  She went back further.  But the thing is she lost her original spot so she kept getting pushed further and further back by other irritated patrons.  And honestly I didn't feel bad for her at this point. 

The rest of the night was perfection. A few times someone had to go pee and the group collectively helped save their spot.  It was AMAZING. 

So here's my "question". Were we in the wrong for trying to save our spots???   Its not like we blocked off a giant area.  We all got there early and the couples never left together.  But these persons decided to get there late and jump in front.  Am I crazy or is that 1000% just f**king rude??!?!?!  Like if you like a band that much, get there early or stay in the back.  F**k it's one of my fav bands but if we got there 2 hours after the doors opened, I wouldn't think it was okay to stand in front of someone that had been there for hours.  

Turtles do not belong in there!!!

So I saw this:

What did I say last time?!?!! Why does this keep happening!??!?!

Then I read the article and...

Link

"Doctors found a small dead turtle in her vagina, which caused a “serious infection,”"

"The 26-year-old woman said she had been partying with a group of British friends a few days earlier but doesn’t remember what happened that night,”

Did...did the "friends" put it in there????

Who....who does that?!?!?!? 

Who does that to a "friend", no less!?!?!

Keep your religious bull$hit to yourself before you hurt someone!!!!!!!

I don't care what peeps think...usually.  But when it could potentially cause harm to someone...I have an issue.

Saw this:

Okay, while I do agree for a while people were over medicated and misdiagnosed....these diseases do exist!!!!!!!!

What is funny is I saw this posted today....

Make up your f**king mind...do you think its real or not?!?!!?  My point is the first statement(s) about ACTUAL mental disorders not existing is bad.  They aren't lies.  They are REAL.  You may believe God made us who we are but that doesn't mean we have to live with serious illnesses.  I can't imagine God wanting us to suffer.  Are you going to tell me "God made you with cancer therefore don't treat it"?  NO!  Or that "God created you with depression so you would take your own life"?  NO!  First off Suicide is just an awful thing, and second... I mean it is frowned upon by God...."According to the theology of the Catholic Church, death by suicide is considered a grave matter, one of the elements required for mortal sin."  Suicide=Bad. 

Generally speaking...this FB post is stupid!!!!

Those aren't LIES.  They are real, just as real as any other illness and those people need help.  I'm sorry but prayer alone and "acceptance" can't fix a CHEMICAL IMBALANCE in the brain.  You don't have to suffer because "God made you broken", you just have to learn to fix what HURTS you and live your life. 

Religion is fine...great...faith=good but this $hit PISSES ME OFF! 

My vagina says you're an @$$hole

Just because you have a penis doesn't mean you can do or say whatever you want.  It goes the other way too.  Just  because you lack a penis doesn't mean you can do or say what you want.  Basically, genitalia shouldn't determine how you treat people.

With that said, I don't care how angry you are...you never never NEVER speak like this to a vendor/client/other human being. 

A client messed up.  Not a big mess up but an annoyance, EASILY fixable.  Except he didn't want to accept he was responsible for creating said annoyance.  So he proceeded to lose his f**king mind on the phone.  At first he just yelled a lot and spoke over me. 

With every shred of patience I could muster I waited until he was done and tried speaking again.  After carefully telling him there was an issue but I could fix it, he started screaming at me that I TOLD him to do it that way.  Ummm no I didn't.  Yes, you did.  Right, lets agree to disagree and get this fixed. 

But it didn't stop there.  As I was actively trying to find a feasible solution he was flipping out about how stupid we are, how stupid our system is, how inconvenient it is that he has to do all the work to fix HIS mistake.  I ignored the slimy dick socket while I chatted online with my CSR. 

Then I hear him pull the phone away from his ear and growl like a f**king psychopath.  He came back and asked if I was going to attempt to fix it or if I fell asleep. 

I calmly responded with "I am chatting with a CSR right now to come up with the best solution." He pulled the phone away AGAIN and growled like a rabid dog, came back and yelled "well I didn't f**king know that now did I?!?!?"

To which I replied, I got tired of you "speaking" over my explanations and decided to just fix it.  The insecure crotch goblin did his best impression of Beast roaring into the phone and screamed "you can't speak to me like that you ignorant c**t!!!!!!!!!!!" 

I immediately hung up the phone and told my boss.  Me and my CSR implemented the solution but I still needed to tell him it was fixed.  Before I could think about just sending an email my phone rang. 

I answered sweet as pie to a fuming psychopath who demanded to speak to my boss.  Sure, whatever.  My boss came on the line and introduced HERself.  The infected whale vagina says eerily calm, "I said I wanted to speak to the boss not another b**ch playing boss". 

The call was immediately terminated. 

My boss called his boss...hilarity ensued.  Mainly because that white trash taint monster tried to deny EVERYTHING.  Um sir, remember when you called in and the automated assistant said "this call may be recorded for quality assurance".  Yea, you were recorded. 

I may have gotten someone fired and honestly I don't f**king care.  Yes, I know I am being insulting here but I didn't say it to him or his boss...therefore I win the decent human award for the day.

Lesson of the Day:  Don't speak poorly to people and if you do for whatever reason make sure you aren't being recorded...dip$hit!  What is wrong in your life that you feel like that was an acceptable response to "I f**ked up and need your help".

"To protect and to serve"

This is not what that means!!!!

LINK

I'm not even sure what to think.  I read the story...he says it was consensual, she says it wasn't.  I will never be a "victim blamer" but so many women recently have been found out as falsifying these kinds of reports to cover their own @sses that I hope its all true while at the same time I hope it isn't true.

His job is to protect the community from bad people...like rapists!  Alcohol clearly played a HUGE factor here but it is not an excuse to force yourself on anyone.  This is just horrifying.  Granted he wasn't on duty, just out with "friends" and made a bad decision.  A REALLY bad decision.  If we can't trust those who are to protect us who are we to trust...?  Its not like NOLA needs another freaking black eye right now...geesh.

Ugh, this is why I hate watching the news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Side Note - I know its only the bad ones that get the news coverage.  The good ones, I hope, outnumber the bad exponentially. 

Holy homophobia Batman!

Okay that sounds ten kinds of awful but it was the first thing that popped in my head. 

Its Christmas, right?  A time for peace on earth and good will towards men.  Its a time when being a decent human being SHOULD come more naturally.  Its a time of acceptance and love.  Or its a time to be a total c**t and say horrible things.  Yea I definitely remember learning that last one in my religion classes. 

Me: Ugh I hate Walmart! Sooooo many people *blah*
Person 1: Well don't go to the one on *insert specific location* its full of gay people!!!!
Me: *blank stare*
Person 2: *judging stare* Well that doesn't bother me....
Me: Me neither....
Person 1: No, you don't understand they are like openly gay in that store!!!!
Me:  I mean are they f**king in aisles?  Or groping each other inappropriately...?
Person 2: What happened?
Person 1:  I was there with my Aunt and two BOYS went walking by holding hands and being realtionship-y
Me: *confused* and...?
Person 1: and...?!?  And its like they think its okay!
Person 2: *horrified expression* 
Me: I'm pretty sure it is okay....  But if you don't like seeing that then go to one of the other 10 locations in the area.  I mean did they do or say anything to y'all...?
**At this point I am trying not to start an argument but I am getting annoyed**
Person 1: YES!  
Me & Person 2: Oh...what happened?
Person 1:  *very matter of fact* They were buying Christmas presents and decorations.  They are gay, they can't celebrate Christmas.

Me: Says who...? Hold up, aren't you Catholic?  Aren't you taught to accept everyone?  Love thy neighbor and whatnot. 
Person 2: Didn't you have an affair?  I think that means YOU can't celebrate Christmas.  
Person 1: *shocked expression*

Me: *oh $hit* Um, Merry Christmas....?
Person 1: f**k both of you f*g lovers!  *walks away*
Me:  *jaw drop* I'm pretty sure she can't say that......I'm offended.
Person 2: *laughing* I am too.

This is almost word for word!  I know people are @$$holes but holy $hit!!! I guess I don't usually surround myself with such awful people so this shocked me a bit. Talk about being in the Christmas spirit. 

These were basically my expressions...

How would you like it if I took your kid, drove him/her 20+ miles away and left them...? Hmmmmmm?!?!?!!?

Do NOT do this!!!!!!!!!!!  I mean obvi don't do this to a child but also DO NOT take it upon yourself to rid the neighborhood of unwanted Cats/Dogs by DUMPING them elsewhere.  What the f**k is wrong with you?!!?!?  If you were able to get close enough to an animal to catch it, chances are it is someone's f**king pet and they are probably looking for it! 

If you have a stray whatever that has babies bring them to a vet or the God Blessed shelter!!!  Do NOT drive them to the woods or another city and leave them.  What kind of MONSTER are you?!!?!?

Look we don't all like the kitty making poopy in our gardens.  And stray puppies/dogs, especially large ones, can be dangerous.  But why on Earth would anyone think, "hey, I don't like this animal around me so I'm going to go dump it in a PARKING LOT off of Airline Hwy"??!?!?  No, no, no, no...just f**king NO!  If its a neighbor's outside cat put deterrents in your yard.  NOTHING HARMFUL.  There are products and plants you can buy that keep animals away but won't hurt them.  Be responsible!

You call your City/Parish Animal Control and report it.  If you do catch them bring them to a vet to see if they are chipped or bring them to the shelter.  If you don't want to deal with it then wait for f**king animal control.  Don't assume because they don't have a collar they are STRAYS!  Animals lose collars.  People are probably looking for their fur babies.  Don't be a dick! 

Also, if you find an animal...make sure its not someone else's pet before deciding to keep it.  How would you like it if you lost your fur baby and someone else was like "oh, its in my yard...its mine now"???  Be responsible!!!  I have animals show up to my house ALL THE TIME.  I bring them to the shelter or the vet.  Or I leave them be...unless they are a danger to MY PETS.  I don't put them in a crate and dump them...or harm them...STAAAAAHP!  As an adult I've had 4 dogs and 3 cats come into my life.  Of those 2 were adopted from a shelter.  The others were stray animals that literally showed up on my doorstep or a family/friend's doorstep and I took them in.  They had no chips.  No collars.  Signs went up and no one claimed them.  They became my babies and the ones that are gone lived VERY long, VERY happy lives. 

In conclusion, DON'T BE A DICK!!!

I am terrified of the world we have created

I have little to say...this isn't for one side or the other...it is for life.

No one deserves death at another's hands no matter who they are or where they come from.  Who are we to decide who lives or dies?  We are not gods but mere humans who are playing games with the lives of our fellow man.  United we stand, divided we fall.  This isn't directed at any particular race, nationality, gender, occupation, etc.  It is about humanity...so little of what makes us human is left in the world.  We should protect the tiny glowing ember that remains hidden in the ashes and nurture it into a wildfire of love, peace, and unity instead of hate and violence.

Imagine

And do not call me a "hippie"...I am not, not really...I am just a human hoping for a better place for my future kids, my nieces & nephews...all of our children.

They.are.people!!! A pee pee (or lack of) does not change that! They aren't aliens!!!!!!!

I am clearly on the side of "I don't care what your lifestyle choices are as long as they don't involve harming another person or an innocent whether that is a child or an animal".  Why is this so hard for other people to grasp?  I've never heard of a transsexual sexually assaulting anyone...ever.  The ones I've met are normal, they are just PEOPLE.  Hell, most of them I didn't realize they were trans until they told me. 

So please do NOT give me that whole "OMG I'll be peeing with a man bull$hit".  The last I checked there were stalls in the bathroom so how the f**k would you KNOW if they are male or female?  If YOU are checking, YOU are the perv not them.  If you are in fear of your safety or your child's safety because pervs will use this as an opportunity to perv out in the ladies/mens room then I don't think you know how trans really works. 

There is usually A LOT of effort that goes into someone being trans.  They don't just put on a dress and say "I'm a woman now" full beard and all.  Most times there are hormone treatments to reduce hair or stimulate hair growth.  There is usually real hair, not wigs.  Sometimes there are surgeries.  Most times you can't look at them and go "OMG that's a man/woman" because most f**king times you cannot tell!  So unless there is literally a pee pee police officer at EVERY restroom entrance than I don't know how this proposed ban is gonna work.  I also don't know how the law is going to work.  I get what they are trying to do but it opened up a whole new can of bigotry...prejudice...Idiocracy.  What are we going to have to show our genitalia or provide a birth certificate to prove our gender to use the f**king restroom!!! What is happening?!?

Really though, I don't care if you have a pee pee or a hoohah, if you just pee and leave then what is the f**king problem?!?!?!  Real, trans people aren't pervs.  They aren't dressing like the opposite sex to get a look at your junk.  They are dressing like that because that is how they feel comfortable.  And don't forget some women look masculine, just like some men look feminine.  So you can't just go by looks!!!!!!  It's happened to me and I felt like an imbecile.  I thought I walked into the wrong restroom because the person that walked in behind me looked like a stereotypical dude.  It wasn't until I went to leave and she spoke that I realized she was female.  I apologized profusely for being an @$$hat. She wasn't offended.  She laughed and apologized for confusing me.  I said do not apologize, I'm an idiot and we both laughed.  See that is how you handle that, don't be an @$$hole.  You live and learn.

What pisses me off is how people are are using this to out people.  That is NOT your decision to make.  I am appalled at the ignorance of humanity. 

Chivalry Is Dead...or just plain old kindness...the will to help others...BEING A DECENT HUMAN BEING!

I am not a "the man has to do all the work" kind of girl but I appreciate kindness...whether its from a man or a woman.  Just kindness.  The desire to help another person.  Hold open a door, help load groceries, say THANK YOU!

What had happened was I went to the store for some gardening supplies.  I am FINALLY getting my garden all Spring-ified.  Doing that requires soil, at least 3 massive bags of it.  The hubs was doing yard work so I went alone.  I managed to drag them from the pile into my basket with minimal effort.  I say minimal...it required some interesting moves and a knee lift to flip the bag over into the basket without the basket rolling away.  I think it could be the next dance craze.   




After I finished and did a "subtle" victory dance...

I noticed no less than 4 rather large men standing nearby watching. Not one offered assistance...and one of them was a store employee!  They literally just watched little petite me manhandle 3 bags of soil that are something like 40lbs each!

Whatever it was already done.


I finished my shopping and headed to my car.  New challenge...get oversized bags of soil into my car without having the basket roll away.  For some reason THIS was more challenging.  Why you may ask...well because the f**king basket was being blown by the wind and wouldn't sit still long enough for me to get a good grip to the f**king bag. 

I put my foot through the bottom bars so that it wouldn't move but once I had the bag hoisted up my foot was stuck so I was hopping around on one leg with a 40lb bag of wet dirt as the basket still tried to roll away. I was almost pulled into a split when my foot came loose and I instead tumbled backwards INTO my trunk with a 40lb bag of what is essentially "fancy" mud on top of me. 

The basket escaped and rolled off into the sunset as I grumbled some very unladylike words to anyone who would listen.

My hero turned out to be a 60 something year old woman who had a f**king oxygen tank.  She managed to help me get unpinned while her 8 yr old grandson fetched my basket.  She was my savior.  I am not mocking her for having a tank or for helping me.  I am calling out the 7 people who were nearby who watched me almost injure myself and didn't lift a finger to help me.  Who instead let a medically challenged woman and a young child help me. 

She also offered to help me get the other bags into my car.  I couldn't in good conscience ask her to lift anything so I asked if she could just hold the basket still while I maneuvered the bags.  And still not one f**king person offered help out of 5 men and 2 women watching this unfold.  All of them were young-ish....all capable of at least holding the run away basket.  Nope, no help, they just watched or pretended like they didn't see.

That is MESSED up!  I always offer help, especially if I see someone struggling.  I may not be big but two people lifting a whatever is a lot easier than one!  I thought it was common courtesy to help someone. 

Faith in Humanity LOST.......well some FAITH was saved by the wonderful woman who offered to help me even though she didn't have to.