We've got a bleeder!

You know how they say animals are mirrors of their owners?  Whether its in looks or personality I can see it and I am sure people see it with me and my fur babies.  

Mine just happen to also have my propensity for clumsiness!  Let me set the scene. It's a lovely FREEZING morning.  The pups are in rare form because it's cold outside.  Neither like to be cold so they both have on sweaters. 

Of course they are not listening.  So there I am still half dying, COLD, and annoyed.  As I was standing in the doorway in my PJs hoarsely yelling for them I see a tiny shadow out of the corner of my eye.  

It took off running and the pups were in hot pursuit.  I yelled and Little Bit stopped and went inside.  Speedy on the other hand had tunnel vision and chased it into some bushes.

He was fine, sniffing around the fence trying to see where it went through.  

I yelled his name again and he turned to come and then let out the most horrifying screech but then came trotting inside.  

So I started to check him to make sure he was okay when I saw a drop of blood.  But he took off running.   I started to chase him and realized he was leaving a trail of blood droplets  through the house.

He kept worming away from me.  I finally stopped him and managed to find the source.  He had a teeny tiny tear in his ear.

The issue is ITS HIS EAR.  They are SUPER Veiny.  So it's an itty bitty cut but bleeds like crazy.  

Can you imagine trying to hold a 75lb bleeding dog still long enough to stop the bleeding?!?!?!  Also, he is a dog.  Do you know what dogs do when their ears feel "weird"?

When I say my house looked like a murder scene I am not exaggerating!!!  There was blood all over him, the floor, some walls, me, and the hubs. 

We finally got it to stop bleeding and cleaned up the mess.  Then he shook again.

Blood on the TV, floor, my laptop, and rug.

Everytime we got it to stop he'd shake. 

He finally calmed down and it stopped bleeding.  So all day every time he moved I stalked him to keep him from shaking his head.  I was a frazzled mess of nerves by the end of the day.  

For 7 hours no bleeding...SEVEN HOURS.  Then hubs came home and said outside but then got distracted and wasn't watching him.  He shook his head.  It started bleeding again.

He went buy that anti bleeding powder and liquid bandage and an ear wrap.  Poor dog.  

We tried just the powder at first but he kept shaking it and bleeding again.  We got it to stop and I attacked him with liquid bandaid.  But he still kept wanting to shake it.

So he got the ear wrap....

He HATES me!  But at least I can sleep knowing he won't shake his head and bleed out while I am zonked out.

PS I did call the Vet...they told us what to do and said they couldn't do more than that since it was such a tiny cut.  

PPS One of the bushes had thorns *ahhhhhhhh*

Is the plague over yet?

No, no it isn't!  You know how I know?!!?!  Because as careful as I have been, masks, vaccine, no big crowds.... I got it!!!!!!  And it wasn't because of my carelessness.  Nooooooo.

I, being responsible, got tested before Christmas because I had been exposed at work the week before.  I was negative.  But one of my lovely anti-pandemic (as in it is a scare tactic created by the Government and isn't real) family members came to a gathering KNOWING they had been exposed.  They tested +.  

Hubs started feeling bad first, then two days later me.  I was just going to quarantine and take it easy.  But my experience involved a STABBING headache.  Not just sinus pressure, a literal sporadic Ice Pick stabbing feeling behind my ear.  It got so bad I did a tele-doc appointment.  She wouldn't give me any Rxs without getting tested so I did and SHOCKING, it was +.  I ended up with multiple Rxs because well I was pretty sick at this point.  

Honestly the worst part for me was the Sinus Pressure.  It was SOOOOOO bad, I couldn't sleep.  Plus I had fever for 3 days.  I was fried!  Turns out the stabbing pain was probably something called Occipital Neuralgia.   And I can tell you with 100% certainty I would not wish it on my worst enemy.  I thought my brain was coming out of my ear. 

Thankfully the worst of it only lasted 5 days.  I'm still wonky, tired, and not 100% but it could have been 1000 times worse.  People who keep saying "Covid is just like a bad cold" as an excuse to be careless are PISSING ME OFF.  Because yes, that is a decent description but why the f**k would you want to get a really bad cold...KNOWINGLY?!!?!  

And honestly while I've had bad colds/Flus/sinus infections, this was different.  I am mostly recovered but I am still exhausted.  And I don't regret getting vaccinated.  Because I can't imagine how AWFUL it would have been had I not been vaccinated.  I know people not vaccinated and they got it way worse than me, like long lingering symptoms.  I'm not here to judge you if you don't want the vaccine I am just saying my experience.  I just really want to NEVER experience that again.  

Each day is better so hopefully that continues!

Y'all Nasty!

I am so over people who have ZERO manners.  If there is one thing I need you parents (guardians, Awesome Aunties, etc) to teach your crotch goblins is to always cover their mouth/nose when they sneeze/cough!!! That way they become adults who always cover their mouth/nose when they sneeze/cough.

So far parents at this point are doing an awesome job.  All the littles I see as young as 3ish cover, use an elbow, down the shirt.  But alas the parents of the 70's & 80's you have FAILED US!

I have never seen so many 30, 40, and sometimes 50 somethings that just blow snot everywhere without a care of who is around.  WHAT THE F**K IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!?!?

We were in a place with lots and lots of people....kids and adults alike.  And its funk season, I know this.  But 90% the kiddies COVERED THEIR FACES WHEN sneezing or coughing.  Many adults did too but SOOOOO many over 30 year olds...some WAY OVER 30 year olds just shot their funk on everyone near by.

And now I know how the zombie apocalypse starts!

There I was standing in line...minding my own business when suddenly the guy in the line next to me full on sneeze coughed IN MY FACE!  Well the side of my face...STILL! Do you know what a sneeze cough is?  Let me enlighten you...its where you sneeze and cough at the same time spraying anything within 5 feet of you with snot and spit!

Without thinking I yelled ARE YOU Fffffff........I paused thankfully because children where there...and said SERIOUS?!?!!?!??!  He had the right of mind to look ashamed but still.  I told my husband loudly, I think I need to bathe in hand sanitizer....and I did.  In front of him and like 30 other people, I scrubbed down with peppermint scented hand sani...ahhh feel the burn!  The man in front of me asked me to share...and I did.  I think he got hit with some of the spray.  We couldn't go anywhere but wait out the line.  After I was out of line, I went to the bathroom and scrubbed my face and hair. 

Two days later (basic incubation period for a cold/virus) I started to feel a little sniffly.  Day three (the day we flew home) I was miserable and couldn't breath out of my nose.  Day four, my last day of vacay I had to miss an event and literally slept 90% of the day.  Here we are on day five.  I have a sinus funk, am exhausted, and sound like a f**king seal when I cough. 

Conclusion Thanks to some @$$hole I was next to in line the other day, I am pretty sure I have some sort of plague.  Guess I'll be going to the Doctor before my Christmas Party tomorrow...yay....

Spiders are such @$$holes!!!

While I am not deathly afraid of our 8 legged little friends, they can startle me...especially if they are on the larger side. 

I haven't seen many in our house.  Usually they are outside or very very tiny.  We do home defense so very few creepy crawlers actually make it inside *whew*.

I was home sick the other day.  Freaking stomach bug.  I thought I was going to DIE!  It was...it was bad.  Nothing was staying in like it was supposed to.

Moving on.  I was sitting on my windowsill in my office talking to my boss while trying not to die.  We hung up and I kinda just sat there...completely worn out.  When suddenly I see something brown about the size of a silver dollar running towards me quickly. 

I almost $hit myself...LITERALLY.  I screamed and jumped out the way, it turned and ran towards me again *screeeech* "Mother F**ker!!!!"

I found the closest thing to me (a notebook) and slammed it down.  *lift* *peek* that f**ker started running at me again! 

Apparently notebook + carpet doesn't kill mutant spiders.  So I ripped out a piece of paper and used my hand to squish.  *lift* *peek* It started moving towards me on like 3 legs.  "Oh COME ON!"

I ground that b**ch into the carpet! Success *happy dance* *stomach rolled and dropped* "uh oh". 

I don't know what kind of spider it was but based on the "aggression", I am concerned.  Usually house spiders run away from you not towards you!!! 

But I guess you never know.  I checked my desk for a web/nest but I didn't see anything. 

I am happy to leave house spiders alone...they kill other critters for me but I'd rather the venomous ones went elsewhere *shudder*. 

Were you raised by animals?!?!?!

Wait...that's an insult to animals.  So like there is this almost epidemic happening with the Flu.  Everyone seems to be getting it.  So far I have been INSANELY lucky.  I am taking immune boosters just in case.  I don't care if they are proven, they make me feel better...placebo effect...whatever. 

Anyways, going out in public you run the risk of being infected.  Well I might not want to be sick but like hell I was missing Comic Con.  So I took my stuff and ventured out. 

For the most part I didn't hear anyone severely ill.  Here and there you would hear/see a sneeze/cough but nothing drastic.  But just in case I had my handy dandy false sense of clean (hand sanitizer) and was a little crazy with using it.  But I was touching things other, possibly sick, people touched so better safe than sorry, right.

Towards the end of our day at WWNOLA I was thinking out loud to my hubs how nice it was that there wasn't any OBVIOUSLY ill people.  Can someone slap me next time I make a stupid f**king comment like that?!?!  Because that is just BEGGING the universe to f**k with me. 

There I was walking down one of the many exhibitor aisles looking at all the fun stuff when I went through a "crossing".   Some man walking perpendicular to me full on coughed....INTO THE SIDE OF MY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He didn't attempt to turn.  He didn't attempt to cover his mouth. 

Just hacked up a lung within 12 inches of my face.  He coughed so hard my hair blew in the "wind". 

And not just a *cough, cough*, it was like one of those "wet", I might have an infection, deep chest coughs. 

I was so grossed out I literally froze in place. 

Before I could freak out some other patron dressed as some creepy zombie looking thing smacked him on the back of his a head and said "what's wrong with you?!!?!?!".  He beelined it WITHOUT apologizing.  The zombie looked at me and said "that's how virus' spread" and walked off. 

I lost if laughing, like full belly laugh with giggles.  A ZOMBIE told me, that's how virus' are spread.  I don't know if he was trying to be funny but me and at least 3 other people who were nearby thought it was freaking hilarious. 

"How did the Zombie apocalypse start?", well you see some @$$hole went to Comic Con sick.  "Son of a B**ch!". 

I crack myself up.

Also, we are not talking like a kid or young person.  We are talking a GROWN @$$ MAN who should know to cough into his elbow!!!!

What the actual f**k is happening?!?! Is this crap becoming more common OR are we just more exposed to it because of technology....?

I got a news alert:

Caught on camera: Man pleasuring himself outside Metairie home in front of teenage girl

Me: What the hell?!?!!?!?

Then I read the story because I grew up in and around Metairie.  Also, my family & friends live in the area...yea they have always had some crime but holy $hit this is beyond DISTURBING!!!

The article.

From what I gathered they didn't realize he was there but when they looked at their CAMERAS they saw him right outside their back window IN THEIR BACKYARD jerking off while watching them in the kitchen. 

JFC what a sicko!!!!!!

So he followed them home
Parked across the street
Went into their backyard
Played with himself while observing them

And only ran off because the teen opened the back door to let a pup out...

I'm just glad he didn't do anything worse.  Clearly this young man has issues.  I'm just happy he didn't hurt the daughter or the mom...well anymore than mentally scarring them for life *shudder*. 

Also, I can tell you with 99.9% certainty that if this was at my house and I opened my back door and let my dogs out...that man would no longer have a pee pee to play with. 

And because I need to make myself laugh after this insanity, enjoy this.

I mean it wasn't the third Tuesday of the month or at 3:32A.M. and the sprinklers weren't on but *uncomfortable laughter*

If I don't joke around, I'll cry. 

You get f**king World War Z!!! How do you not know this??????

So I saw this:

That was 100% my first thought.  You want to know what happens?  You get the Zombie Apocalypse.  Hopefully not Cheetahs on Speed Zombies but Zombies none the less.  It pretty much will be the Walking Dead.  Okay maybe they are "basically" still ALIVE but their brain function would be so jacked up that they would be walking corpses.

Some of it could be because we all turned into a bunch of whiny b**ches when we get sick! Doctors over prescribe antibiotics.  We don't always need one to get better.  We SHOULD be letting our bodies fight off infections.  Other reasons may include antibiotics in livestock and pharmaceutical companies not investing in NEW antibiotics to fight the new resistant strains.  Its some scary stuff.

I guess it really is a type of evolution on the micro scale.  Something harms the colony, some develop ways to resist this threat, those live and reproduce creating an antibiotic resistant strain of something simple like strep *gulp*...that sounds awful. Think about them evolving at unheard of speeds and we have a major issue.  Soooo what do we do?!?!?  How can we stop this?!?!  Can it be stopped?!?!?!!?!?!

I mean this is basically what all those "crazy" end of days movies are about.  World War Z, 28 Days Later, Outbreak, Contagion, I am Legend, etc.  In most of those scenarios this "virus" turns us into mindless, violent, pathogen spreading super "humans", who usually tend to make god awful screaming noises and do this weird f**king clicking with their teeth.  Seriously why does the creepy cheetah on speed zombie doctor have to click his f**king teeth!?!?!?!? 

I don't scare easy but that $hit gives me to heebie jeebies!!!!!!

In other cases we just all walk around coughing crud into each others faces like a bunch of animals causing more people to get the crazy world ending virus.

Either way sounds like a big ol' pain in the @$$ that I'd rather not be a part of.  

When I said I thoguht the devil was cute, I was talking about the actor!!! Not the actual devil!!! Please remove this curse!

Right so in a previous post I was rambling on about my crush on "the devil" but not really the devil...an ACTOR playing him on a TV Show.  Apparently the part where I said "NOT ACTUALLY THE DEVIL" was lost when some of the divine were reading my blog and they decided to punish me.

We did a travel race recently and thought "whooohoo excuse for a girls weekend".

Everything was fine.  We had some adult beverages and decided to do a buffet for dinner.  Buffets are usually a waste on me because I don't eat THAT much but what the heck, why not...?

A few of us went straight for the snow crabs...mmmmmm snow crabs.  They were delicious.  There was also boiled shrimp, prime rib, calamari, oysters, clams, scallops, pad thai, sushi (um no thanks...buffet...just...no), etc etc etc.  We were having fun and chatting and drinking (water/cokes at this point).  30-45 min later everyone started eating dessert but I wasn't in the mood (this is normal...I don't eat many sweets).  Mid-sentence I got the absolute worst stabbing pain I have EVER had.  I literally just stopped talking.  Then it passed.  Okay...that was weird...moving on.  A few minutes later it happened again...lasted longer but then passed. "Hmmmm what is wrong with me...?" Attributing it to "NOLA Gurl never eats this much" I ignored it (bad idea).  It happened again...SO BAD I white knuckle gripped the table and closed my eyes.  I thought I was going to pass out from pain.  My friends were like...dude you okay?  No...no...I think...I think I need to pop off to the potty for a tic.  Everything I ate was just dying to make a reappearance.  They were all done so they opted to go back to the room with me before we headed to our next destination.

I wasn't dying but I felt...off...and I was terrified of what the next "knife in the gut, rolling nausea" pain would bring with it.  As we are going up in the elevator one of my other friends stopped mid sentence and bent over in pain..."Uh oh".  She did not fare as well as me with the "OMG someone is stabbing me from the inside" pain (told you I have a high pain threshold).  No...no...she was about to....have a moment in the elevator.

It was like a childbirth moment.  "Sweetie breathe, breathe.  Okay you are fine...you're fine", *crying out in pain*, "you've got this...just 3 more floors" *to the other friend* "get the key out, NOW!".  We couldn't run down the hall because...just trust me when I say, that would have been unwise.

We barely made it into the room.  While one of us "died" in the bathroom, the rest of us just hung out in the common area with the TV up loud, for privacy purposes. I was not doing well sitting there but we only had one bathroom...*deep breath* you can wait.  Suddenly you hear "y'all *gasp* I think I might be dying!"  

By this point I am sweating and pale. *whoosa, whoosa*

"I'm fine...feel great...yep..." Yea no!  She came out just in time for me to bolt in there, I couldn't "breathe" my way through the pain anymore.

After my friend's second bout of dying in the bathroom the following occurred:

Me: Okay, so we are, uh, staying in...good, that's good.
Friend 1:  I need pepto, *groan* flopping onto the bed
Friend 2: Yea, I think that would be wise, y'all don't look too good
Me: *taking off leggings to put on my PJs* Right, I'll text the others and...
*running with leggings around my ankles and just a cami* 
*tripping over the leggings* 
*slamming into the wall* 
*crawling into the bathroom* 
*barely made it to the toilet*

***5 minutes later*** 

Friend 2: NOLA Gurl, you need to get out the bathroom, NOW!
Me: *in a sing song voice* I caaaaaan't , I'm having issssuuuuuessss *stabbing pain* *gag* *groan*
Friend 1: I can't, I can't hold this in *starting to cry* it hurts so much
Friend 2: *screaming* NOLA Gurl, we have a PROBLEM!!!
Me: *dying* * just straight up dying*
Friend 2: Weeeeellll there is a trash can in here
Friend 1: Ha! *gag* *groan* don't make me laugh...
Me: *sobbing* it just...it just won't stop! 

This went on for hours.  It was like a gladiator match trying to get to the bathroom.

We cuddled with each other on the bed, moaning in pain, and watching videos on a phone until we fell asleep (sort of).  I mean who wants to fall into a deep sleep when there is a chance you could puke or $hit yourself before you get to the f**king bathroom 

So we are 99% sure we had some type of food poisoning but we can't figure out what we ate differently. 

UPDATE - we think it was the snow crabs.  They were dumping the fresh ones on top of the older ones...we think ours were from the bottom...who knows how long there were there...o_O

F**k Cancer

I'm fine and my immediate family/friends are fine but someone I haven't thought about in YEARS isn't.  He is a friend of a friend but when he came visit us we became fast friends.  We probably haven't spoken in 10 years but we keep up with each other through our mutual friend.

He is 1 year older than me (soooo YOUNG!).  He was having abdominal pains.  The docs couldn't pin point the source of the pain.  Things like obstruction, twisted bowel, cyst, etc were thrown out.  Then someone took a closer look at an x-ray and saw something hiding behind his other organs.  He went into emergency surgery because of the location and size.  We are hoping it was caught in time and all will be well but I am so scared for him...for his wife...for his young children. 

I haven't really thought about him in a long while so when I heard this news all the crazy college visits came flooding back.  One in particular has me smiling like an idiot.  So everyone was gone for a break/holiday thing.  There were only a few of us left in the area.  I went home to NOLA to visit the fam.  I got a call from my friend saying his BFF from high school flew in on a whim and they were heading to NOLA.  I was like, here's my momma's address pick me up on the way to town. 

I thought my momma was gonna pass out when they showed up at the door.  I come from a VERY Southern/Sheltered/Catholic family.  My friend and his BFF are Middle Eastern.  I saw no issue but apparently all the stereotypes she'd heard came flying to the surface.  Thankfully she just smiled and was super polite.  (she's fine with it now because well, he is just a normal guy) So off we went to show my new buddy the infamous City of New Orleans.  

We had sooooooooooo much fun.  The best part about being a local is seeing the amazement and wonder through a tourist.  A tourist who isn't acting like a jerk-face but embracing all the uniqueness that is NOLA.  What was funny is my friend was BFF's with my then Boyfriend so they were "protecting" me from being hit on.  They learned the best way to do this was to tell everyone I was their SISTER!  You don't understand how funny this was.  People were like "whaaaa...really?!!?" Think about it.  They are both brown skinned with dark hair and dark eyes.  I am light olive complected with blonde hair and green eyes.  It was hilarious!  It was so fun that the joke has stuck around all these years later.  I still get introduced as the "sister" by my friend and its still flipping hilarious because people don't always cover their "shock" well. 

All silly memories aside, I am worried about my brother from another mother...city...COUNTRY but I am hoping it being caught early, they can get him on the road to recovery quickly.  

Apparently I want to be a personal assistant....not sure when that happened...

So I have weird dreams right?  When I take things like NyQuil they get ever more strange.  Usually people dream about being heroes or famous or I dunno something they aspire to.  No not me...I dreamt I was a personal assistant.  But not just to anyone...to a celebrity.  A celebrity...really...WTF?!?!  And not in a "personal" way, just a literal personal assistant.  The problem was I was hired blind.  Meaning I didn't know WHO I would be assisting.  I have never really wanted to be an assistant.  I assist the VP here at my current job but I am not her assistant.  Does that make sense? 

Moving on, so I am hired to be this person's assistant.  I don't know who he is but I did know he is a he, he is married, and he does have kids.  That's all I know.  So I am given all these tasks to take care of BEFORE I meet him.  I was still living in the NOLA area (Hollywood South) but he wasn't here yet or he was and just didn't have time to deal with me or whatever.  Anyways, we only communicated via text or email, never a call. 

So here I am dreaming about weird things like picking up packages, suits ordered at Saks 5th Avenue (way out of my budget), shopping at boutiques (seriously, I don't belong here), prepping an apartment in the Quarter, etc, etc, etc.  By apartment I mean a whole floor that was basically bigger than my house, geesh.  I had one of those lists...what are those lists called that celebrities use when on tour?!!??!  Riders, they are called riders.  Anyways, I had one of those for this person.  So here I am buying the most random things with my CC and being reimbursed...I don't think that's how this works but okay.  I couldn't figure out who I was working for.  They were using a fake name, John Davidson...WTF kind of fake name is that?!?  The list wasn't too over the top.  I mean there were no psycho requests like "no brown M&M's" or whatever that one celeb wanted.  But the things on the list did include kiddie stuff so I assumed little ones were coming also. 

Whomever it was, was so kind in their responses.  Me: "Hey I managed to find those herbal tea blah blah blah's at a specialty store", Them: "Oh wonderful, I appreciate you preparing all of this for me".  Well finally the day came where I was to meet my new employer.  And I was LATE!!!  I was sick (which I actually was at the time of my dream) so I overslept.  I freaked out and my husband was like "it will be fine, I'm sure he'll understand".  So I called the number I'd been texting and a lady answered.  She giggled and said "Mr. Davidson's phone how can I assist you" or something of that nature.  Me thinking "*crap crap crap* I've already been replaced!!!", I explained who I was and why I was calling and apologized profusely.  She immediately said "Oh love, its fine!  This is his wife, you just get here as soon as you can, no rush.  Wait, hold on a tic".  Then I hear a voice in the background say "Everything alright?", wait...I know that voice.  His wife explains what happened and says "Poor dear sounds petrified that you would be angry".  His response, "Does she really think I could hate her after everything she has done to help us?" 

Then I woke up coughing up a lung.  I'm being serious...I coughed so hard my ribs hurt.  Now, I can't say with 100% certainty because I was 100% drugged up on NyQuil but I am 99.9% certain my celebrity boss was *god this is embarrassing*...David Tennant.  Whaaaaaaaaa?!!?!?!?  Why would I dream about that?!?!  Why would he be here?!?!?!  I mean I clearly enjoy his work but that is an ODD dream.  Personal Assistant...RANDOM!  That's it, I am laying off the NyQuil. 

That was not made by a human...it was very not human...have I been abducted?!?!?

So reason number 4,658 why sick people should STAY home!  I am sick...I am home...I am still working...OMG the insanity.  Other persons do not do this and this is why I am SICK!  This is gross....funny but gross so read at your own risk. 

A couple days ago I developed a cough while at work.  Not like a tiny *cough, cough*.  I mean like a *cough, cough*.  Ya know that hollow deep chest cough that makes you sound like you are barking.  Attractive I know.  It was so bad that our boss was like "Hey lil bit, you okay?".  Do I sound okay?!?!!??!  I went home (like a good person does) so as not to infect anyone else who hasn't caught the crud yet. 

Side Note - When I cough or sneeze I do it into my shirt/dress.  It keeps the nastiness contained to me!  Don't use your hands, you touch things with those.  Well I mean its better than nothing.  Your elbow is better but only deflects the spray.  Again, ewwww, I know. 

Well today I woke up sounding worse than I feel.  I actually feel MUCH better but the voice is shot and I am coughing so much more!!!  But its not the hollow cough...its that gross cough.  That, "I smoked for 50 years" cough.  And then it happened.  I was on the phone with a client and I felt the tickle.  The tickle that would let me know I am about to have the mother of all coughing fits.  I held it back trying to finish my conversation but the urge was so strong.  My eyes were watering and my voice kept catching when I spoke.  So I did a tiny *cough* to abate it.  I immediately regretted that decision and wanted to vomit.  

Thankfully the client was still talking so I ran to the bathroom, put the phone on mute, and spit out the creature suddenly invading my mouth.   "*ahhhhhhh* WTF is that?!!?!?"  We've all been sick and had nastiness come out I am sure.  But this was new.  This was clearly alive...maybe...or I'm hallucinating...also possible. Either way, I am pretty sure I "birthed" a baby Blob.   

Husband said all he heard was "*bleh* Whaaaaaaa....ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! Does that have fur!!!?!? That CANNOT be normal".  I swear it may have had an "eye". 

I know I know, TMI.... Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!  Things that are NEON green should not be produced by my body!!!!!  Apparently, I am wrong...this is normal....  "Some believe that the presence of mucus indicates that there is something wrong with them, but in fact, it is just the natural immune response of the body to various invaders that attack it."  Yea yea I knew that, but NEON green!?!?!?  "Typically, this occurs when the immune system sends white blood cells to the area of infection. These cells contain a green protein, which, when present in large quantities, turn the mucus into a greenish hue."  

It says greenish not NEON green.  Clearly not normal, right?  Husband says I am being silly.  Fine, so not an alien.   Maybe I should lay off the X-Files.  Or watch it more...ya know for science or something.