Showing posts with label not safe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label not safe. Show all posts

Saturday, April 5, 2025

Just call me Mary Poppins y’all

I guess this is Part 2 or “The end”, since I called the other one the beginning.  

We left off with a friend dragging me away from my grandparents house and ending up on a hill looking at a two story blue siding and brick house.  He grabbed my hand and said “You’ll be safe with us”.  

We started walking towards the house and that is when I realized it was actually two houses SUPER close together.  Like their front porches were almost touching. I turned to my companion and was like “bruh why you built so close to this other house?!?” And he said something about saving money. 

We went inside and he said “I can’t wait for you to meet *insert wife’s name*”.  As soon as he said her name, I realized who he was.  He was MY friend.  We work together.  How didn’t I recognize him before?!!? He’s just a smidge taller than me…I would know him anywhere!

I could hear kids playing someplace and I heard someone call out his name from the other room.  Now I’ve never in person met my friend’s wife.  I see pictures on social media but that’s all.  So he guides me into like a kitchen/breakfast area and there is his wife but like she looked different than pics but still I knew it was her.  She seemed surprised to see me so he told her something about how I was in danger and needed to stay with them.  He left out the whole party at my grandparents house turning into a literal nightmare. 

She was incredibly nice and asked if I needed to rest.  I told her yes and was brought to a spare room where I was immediately “attacked” by 3 children.  Again never met the kids but I know a lot about them from him.  I was their new friend apparently.  

It jumped around a bit but I was there for a while. At least it felt like some time was passing.  I played ALOT with the kids.  I distinctly remember running around with them playing like hide and seek or something and all of us getting fussed at for being “wild”.  Which is hilarious because I know I am older than both my friend and his wifey.  

At one point I was in like a hallway with a doorway into the back of the kitchen.  But the door way was kind of small.  Like a child could walk through it but an adult would have to duck.  My friend found me and we were talking and I asked about the small doorway.  He said the house came that way and the builder said they weren’t allowed to make it bigger (WTAF).  He said he hit his head on it regularly.  But he didn’t like to use it…because it didn’t feel right.  

I am not sure the dynamic but I think I may have become like a Nanny for them. We were as close as ever and I became really close with his wife.  Like we had alot to talk about but for the life of me I cant remember any of it.  One night they were about to go out with friends.  These friends came over, two couples.  One of the women was a tall African American woman.  I recognized her but not sure from where but my friends were like “Oh y’all know each other!”.  

They were panicking because the babysitter didn’t show up. And I was like I can stay home with the kids.  That’s what y’all have me for.  Plus I don't have anything to wear to dinner that looks fancy enough.  This is when I noticed everyone was in like formal attire and I was in like a cute dress but not nearly dressy enough.

My friend was like no, you are supposed to come with us.  You have to come with us.  You can’t stay alone, its not safe, that’s not how this works.  That creepy feeling from the last dream came back.  Like I didn’t know I was dreaming, so not a lucid dream but the unsafe feeling came back.  

My friends wife was like we should just stay in, we have the movie room! I was so confused, they were dressed for like a ball, not a night in with movies and pizza.  She looked…scared.  He looked concerned and I realized I had three kids hugging me, like they were scared they’d never see me again.  

That’s when I noticed the sound.  Not wind, not weather…but a low growling howling.  It was dark outside but not like night…unnaturally dark. I didn’t feel safe anymore.  I started to have a panic attack (not something that happens to me often).  

My friend grabbed me by the shoulders and looked into my eyes and said we have to go. He has very distinct eyes, like he was looking through me…it was weird.  He said  I’ll see you next time. And hugged me incredibly tight.

that’s the end.

So I dunno what the hell I ate last night but this is what my subconscious came up with.  

Monday, January 22, 2018

Natural Selection.....

I try not to judge but come on people!

1.)  If you have to boil water for drinking (we were under a boil water advisory after the freeze)...LET THE WATER COOL BEFORE DRINKING IT!  Very young kids may not understand this but f**king adults should know not to swallow scalding water ffs!  Ours news stations actually had to say this...

2.) Ice = Slippery.  If you venture out unnecessarily when everyone and their grandmother is saying stay in...please be very very careful...


Thankfully my job doesn't require me in the office.  I know others did/do but if its retail/restaurant/office...why?! No one was working, much less leaving their houses and schools/government offices were closed.  Emergency personnel I understand.  Skeleton crews at groceries/pharmacies if they can get there, I can understand, but the f**king mall...?  
Who the hell woke up Wednesday and was like I know I might die on the road but I really need a new pair of kicks?!?!?! 

No one, so why the f**k was the mall open?!?!?
Again...I try not to judge but this $hit makes me angry...closing for a couple days is better than losing an employee(s) because they were hurt trying to get there.  

3.) Next! Why are people eating Tide Pods?!?!?!?  Stop that right now!  

My 11 y/o niece wants to know if when you become a teenager/adult you become stupid because according to her "Even my 5 y/o sister knows not to eat laundry detergent".   
I am not talking about very young children, people with mental disorders, or people with dementia.  These morons are "normal" teens/adults doing STUPID things to become internet famous.  
This is almost as bad as the dumping boiling water trend that thankfully lasted a very short time but only after some poor child was literally scarred for life.  Or what about the cinnamon challenge where you eat a spoonful of cinnamon and try not to choke to death.  

While I hate cinnamon and would never try this, this was incredibly dangerous.  Ingesting that much at once can cause coughing which causes you to inhale the powder still in your mouth.  Which can lead to inflamed lungs and trachea causing more problems OR you might not be able to catch your breath.  It was a stupid challenge.  

Who the f**k thought this was a good idea?!?  I know people were dared to do stupid things when I was younger...before the internet was so widespread but I don't recall anyone doing anything THIS stupid.  Disgusting and risky...maybe but deadly...never or very very rarely.  

So here is your take away........don't do drugs, drink with caution, Stop eating Tide Pods, don't pour boiling water on people, use cinnamon like a normal person, don't put on accelerant and light yourself on fire (yes, that was a thing for a hot second), don't put salt on your arm and then cover it with ice (it burns), just use your f**king brain!  5 seconds of  internet fame isn't worth it!

Thursday, December 22, 2016

YASSSSS! That beat up minivan with the mismatched paint really turns me on!!!!

I just have a question...in the history of driving has this ever worked?

Girl: *Driving along singing*
Boy: *pulls up next to girls vehicle*
Girl: *glances over because someone is pacing her doing 75MPH down the interstate*
Boy: Heeeeeeey gurl heeeeeeeeeeeey *saucy wink*
Girl: WTF?!? *looks ahead trying to ignore him*
*traffic slows down to an almost stop*
Boy: I said hey chica!  *honk honk*
Girl: *speeds up as much as she can*
Boy: *speeds up* Jew are one hot mami
Girl: *ignoring you*
Boy: Can I get your number?
Girl: *floors it and exits the interstate*

Seriously, does this ever work?!!?!?  Was there a point where a girl was like "Ay papi, let me STOP ON I10 and give you my number"??? 

Not only is that just weird and CREEPY but its dangerous.  He was looking at me...not the road.   The only reason he knew to stop was because I was slowing down.  I am over 30 and I can tell you with 100% certainty that this has NEVER worked on me.  I may have teased a bit when I was younger because I was clearly having a temporary lack of intelligence but I never stopped or gave anyone my number.  Also, once that one guy tried to literally run me off the road to get me to stop at like 11PM, I decided NEVER making Eye Contact was probably safer.