The Zombies are coming, the zombies are coming!!!

I can tell you with 100% certainty that if I got an alert at 1:45 AM about "Extreme Zombie Activity" and I had no power, I would have a minor panic attack until my brain woke up. 

How does that happen?!!??! Link

"There are now far less than seven-thousand-three-hundred-eighty customers involved due to extreme zombie activity,"

SHUT UP!  That cannot be real?!!?!?

OMG!

Seriously though...you get that and you are half asleep...possibly dreaming about zombies (it happens...shoosh)

Conclusion, a Walking Dead hacker thinks he/she is f**king hilarious!!!!!


Favorite line: “I want to reiterate that Lake Worth does not have any zombie activity currently and apologize for the system message,” Ben Kerr said.

Were you raised by animals?!?!?!

Wait...that's an insult to animals.  So like there is this almost epidemic happening with the Flu.  Everyone seems to be getting it.  So far I have been INSANELY lucky.  I am taking immune boosters just in case.  I don't care if they are proven, they make me feel better...placebo effect...whatever. 

Anyways, going out in public you run the risk of being infected.  Well I might not want to be sick but like hell I was missing Comic Con.  So I took my stuff and ventured out. 

For the most part I didn't hear anyone severely ill.  Here and there you would hear/see a sneeze/cough but nothing drastic.  But just in case I had my handy dandy false sense of clean (hand sanitizer) and was a little crazy with using it.  But I was touching things other, possibly sick, people touched so better safe than sorry, right.

Towards the end of our day at WWNOLA I was thinking out loud to my hubs how nice it was that there wasn't any OBVIOUSLY ill people.  Can someone slap me next time I make a stupid f**king comment like that?!?!  Because that is just BEGGING the universe to f**k with me. 

There I was walking down one of the many exhibitor aisles looking at all the fun stuff when I went through a "crossing".   Some man walking perpendicular to me full on coughed....INTO THE SIDE OF MY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He didn't attempt to turn.  He didn't attempt to cover his mouth. 

Just hacked up a lung within 12 inches of my face.  He coughed so hard my hair blew in the "wind". 

And not just a *cough, cough*, it was like one of those "wet", I might have an infection, deep chest coughs. 

I was so grossed out I literally froze in place. 

Before I could freak out some other patron dressed as some creepy zombie looking thing smacked him on the back of his a head and said "what's wrong with you?!!?!?!".  He beelined it WITHOUT apologizing.  The zombie looked at me and said "that's how virus' spread" and walked off. 

I lost if laughing, like full belly laugh with giggles.  A ZOMBIE told me, that's how virus' are spread.  I don't know if he was trying to be funny but me and at least 3 other people who were nearby thought it was freaking hilarious. 

"How did the Zombie apocalypse start?", well you see some @$$hole went to Comic Con sick.  "Son of a B**ch!". 

I crack myself up.

Also, we are not talking like a kid or young person.  We are talking a GROWN @$$ MAN who should know to cough into his elbow!!!!

You get f**king World War Z!!! How do you not know this??????

So I saw this:

That was 100% my first thought.  You want to know what happens?  You get the Zombie Apocalypse.  Hopefully not Cheetahs on Speed Zombies but Zombies none the less.  It pretty much will be the Walking Dead.  Okay maybe they are "basically" still ALIVE but their brain function would be so jacked up that they would be walking corpses.

Some of it could be because we all turned into a bunch of whiny b**ches when we get sick! Doctors over prescribe antibiotics.  We don't always need one to get better.  We SHOULD be letting our bodies fight off infections.  Other reasons may include antibiotics in livestock and pharmaceutical companies not investing in NEW antibiotics to fight the new resistant strains.  Its some scary stuff.

I guess it really is a type of evolution on the micro scale.  Something harms the colony, some develop ways to resist this threat, those live and reproduce creating an antibiotic resistant strain of something simple like strep *gulp*...that sounds awful. Think about them evolving at unheard of speeds and we have a major issue.  Soooo what do we do?!?!?  How can we stop this?!?!  Can it be stopped?!?!?!!?!?!

I mean this is basically what all those "crazy" end of days movies are about.  World War Z, 28 Days Later, Outbreak, Contagion, I am Legend, etc.  In most of those scenarios this "virus" turns us into mindless, violent, pathogen spreading super "humans", who usually tend to make god awful screaming noises and do this weird f**king clicking with their teeth.  Seriously why does the creepy cheetah on speed zombie doctor have to click his f**king teeth!?!?!?!? 

I don't scare easy but that $hit gives me to heebie jeebies!!!!!!

In other cases we just all walk around coughing crud into each others faces like a bunch of animals causing more people to get the crazy world ending virus.

Either way sounds like a big ol' pain in the @$$ that I'd rather not be a part of.  

That's it, that is how the Zombie Apocolypse Starts!!! This is why I have trust issues.

So I got an alert on my phone.

Right, okay...nothing too weird *nervous laughter*.  I read this article and this one.

Ohhhhh okay, its a sample from the 1970's.  I mean nothing WEIRD about that. 

"Using modern sequencing techniques to study blood samples taken more than 30 years ago, researchers have identified a new virus with similarities to hepatitis C and human pegivirus (formerly hepatitis G)." ~ Ewwwww, not cool!  So what are people just not having symptoms???

"Further analysis of more recent samples revealed that many of the people who were infected had cleared the virus. And even those who didn’t were apparently unaffected by the virus." ~ Ah, okay.  Still, not cool.

"...the role of this new virus in liver and other diseases remains to be elucidated," ~ Ummm that doesn't sound good.  So we found it, we show no symptoms from it but we don't know what harm it does or how to "cure" it. 

I feel like there is a whole group of science people going "move along, there's nothing to see here, move along", meanwhile this "harmless" virus is how we all turn into rabid cheetahs on speed.  In 30 years someone will find this "study"  and be like, "so this is where it all began". 

Yea it was discovered in blood samples from the 70's BUT what if its a dormant virus and is activated by all this "research".   Someone call Robert Neville or Shaun or Daryl Dixon, $hits about to get real.

Zombies are @$$holes, mmmmkay

I think I figured it out.  I have my most cracked out dreams when I am utterly exhausted.  I am not talking "hey I worked out earlier" tired.  I am talking about "I cleaned my ENTIRE house", "Did ALL the yard work (cut grass/weed-eated/hedged)", "ran a 1/2 marathon" or in my most recent case "played in the pool with a bunch of kiddos under the age of 6 for more than 3 hours". 


And when I say played, I do not mean relaxing in the pool while a lil one waddles around you.  I mean fully submerged swimming/walking back and forth.  Getting in and out. Making sure no one busts anything, "No running!!!" (sorry, my inner lifeguard comes out from time to time).  Busy busy busy BUT very fun!  So by the time it was time for bed, I was basically a Zombie. 

I had the most insane dream.  I don't watch a lot of Zombie shows/movies . . .well I do sometimes but not as ofter as other supernatural stuff, so I was really confused when I woke up as to why I dreamt about 'zombies'.  And I don't mean "Night of the Living Dead" slow walking, moaning "braaaaaains" zombies.  I am talking about those terrifying ones that run like f**king cheetahs (World War Z, 28 Days Later, I am Legend, etc.).  I was NEVER scared of zombies because I always thought, "dude you can OUTRUN them"...until 28 Days Later came out.  I remember going to the theater to see it and I was f**king scared out of my mind!  They didn't just run, they full on sprinted, all the while screeching.  And it wasn't like a slow burn infection.  You got ANY type of bodily fluid in you and you were a screaming banshee in seconds, WTAF!?!?

It's a loooong, detailed dream...get some popcorn and enjoy.  

Okay, moving on to my dream.  I was on vacation with the other half when the world went to $hit.  I am assuming we were in some sort of tropical climate because there was a resort and swimming BUT there were also things that hinted at Europe sooooo who the f**k knows.  I am not sure how but basically we get separated.  One minute we are enjoying an all inclusive beach and boos resort and the next minute I am wandering around Ireland...Scotland...MAYBE...it was really green...and a bit nippy.  I really don't know but it wasn't the U.S. that's for sure (people talked "funny").  I am picked up by a group of other survivors and brought to something that looks like a fort.  But inside it is ANOTHER all inclusive type place, no beach but a ridiculous pool and lavish buildings.  I am concerned about getting the f**k out of whatever country I am in but everyone there is like "no we stay here and wait for rescue" which sounds like the WORST idea to me.  There are parties every night and patrols every day.  I remember going swimming (no clue where the suit came from ) at one point.  There was a guy. . .I can't remember his face but he was attractive, tall and skinny but muscular.  He wouldn't leave me alone, even when I said "sorry boo, I am taken" (see even in my dreams, faithful wife).  He kept trying to catch me in the pool.  He got pissed at one point and threw a bunch of giant pills at me (is that The drugs???).  After some contemplation I went to the room he was sharing with some other peeps and returned the pills (I have no idea why, don't ask).  He looked different now.  I remember thinking "holy $hit, he's famous!" but I am not sure who it was.  We were suddenly BFF's and practically inseparable (no more sexual advances).

Jumping ahead, a group of us thought the whole "party all the time" mantra was a bad idea.  Stop making noise!!!  So of course one fateful night the "zombies" breach the outer wall and come pouring in.  We were near the insane pool...two options 1) Run around it and chance getting caught by a human cheetah on speed or 2) Dive into the water and swim across....the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, looks like I'm getting wet (shhhhhhhh, get your mind out the gutter).   The details of the dream were so vivid!  I could feel the water go up my nose when someone accidentally jumped on top of me.  I remember the weight of my clothes from jumping in fully clothed and the heaviness of my tennis shoes.  I can still feel the vice like grip on my calf as an inhuman fell in, latched onto my leg, and pulled me back under.  And I remember the relief I felt as my friend pulled me from the water and to safety (no bites or scratches...whew).  Thankfully the infected seemed to have trouble traversing the water so we managed to get a head start running (as I coughed a gallon of water out my burning lungs).  We made it to a main building where we broke into groups to enact a plan that I don't remember helping to create but I knew my place.

It consisted of us running UP stairs to lure the infected behind us. . . okay in EVERY horror movie I yell "OMG don't go up the f**king stairs! There is no way to escape." But we had a plan . . .it was sketchy at best.  We had to wait for the rabid individuals to see us and then run like our @$$ was on fire, what could go wrong...?

Jumping ahead again, we are no longer in the safety of the resort.  We've been separated into smaller groups.  Not by choice. . .  We are moving from "safe" house to "safe" house as quickly and quietly as possible.  We sleep in shifts and scavenge for food in the abandoned homes.  We can't eat just anything, in case it is INFECTED.   The only thing I really remember from this part is that my new friend was fiercely protective of me, &/or I made him feel safe...grounded...not sure.  I just know he NEVER left my side.  I can recall him basically cocooning himself around me while I was sleeping and holding on for dear life (we are talking vice grip).  Not in a snuggle up or sexy way...more like an "I can't lose you too way".  And honestly sometimes I wasn't sure if he was protecting me from the zombies or the other men in our group.  It was weird. 

Jumping ahead further, we find more survivors.  It is a military compound. They will only let us in once our eyes have been scanned (this was from I am Legend, I think).  They wanted to separate us but my friend said we were married so we could get in...together.   Conveniently we both had wedding bands....I guess he was married too...I don't remember noticing it before this.  It is hot, loud and chaotic but it feels safe.  I have no idea how much time had passed but eventually I spot a familiar face in the mess hall and practically tackle him (my other half, if you didn't figure that out).  He has a woman with him...it is my friend's wife...I know, I know very cheesy...sorry...I think my brain needed a happy thought.  Out of no where I heard the animalistic screeching the runners make.  Somehow they got inside. . . I was wrapped up in my hubbies arms crying when I felt a powerful shove...I woke up. 

I obviously don't know for sure what happened but I know what it felt like.  It felt like the "monster" got me.  Needless to say, I couldn't really fall back asleep after that.  My heart felt like it was trying to escape.  But why did I have this insane dream?!?!  Then I remembered.  Saturday night I put on SyFy Channel and watched 28 Weeks Later.  I didn't watch all of it but I watched enough to give my subconscious enough ammo to scare the bejesus out of me.