They both take place in Space...it could totally work!

Conversation:

Me: Why can I watch some movies a million times and never get really tired of them?
Hubs: Dunno, I'm not like that
Me: *glare*
Hubs: What movie were you watching?
Me: *distracted* Guardians of Gallifrey
Hubs: Huh?
Me:  *still distracted* You know with the Racoon and the Tree?
Hubs: Oh...I was thinking with the Time Lord and Police Box
Me:*blank stare* *thinking* *realization* *hysterical laughter*
Hubs: Are you okay?
Me: *trying to talk and failing* *crying laughing*
Hubs: *concerned stare* NOLA Gurl...?
Me: OMG...OMG...OMG someone write this!  Not me...someone else...who writes better...
Hubs: *knocking on my head* Helllllooooo
Me: Time Lord...Star Lord...close enough...
Hubs: What?!?
Me: There was a living tree lady in Season One...Oh, and she could still be Nebula...
Hubs: *guiding me down the hall* Bed time for the wifey
Me: *wistfully* I don't want to go
Hubs: *blank stare*
Me: *uncontrollable laughter* I am funny! *snort*
Hubs: When was the last time you slept...?

Clearly, my imagination runs wild when I'm tired...exhausted...sleep deprived...

Just call me...f**k he doesn't have a NAME...only "The Narrator"...fine, call me...The...Narrator...

1st rule of Fight Club...well at least I'm not Tyler Durden...

So I came to an uncomfortable realization.  I think I use TV/Movies to express emotions that I don't normally..."express".  I mean I have emotions but some seem to come out more freely when entranced by a show...or a book...usually a show...occasionally a "short story" (not Fan Fiction) *uncomfortable laugh*.  They are my "meetings". 

I know I know I know you are over there like:

But hear me out.  I get happy, I get sad, I get in-between...I prefer happy.  So I am ALWAYS "happy"...even when I should probably be sad.  But I don't like to be sad, so as much as I preach "its okay to cry"...I usually don't.  At least not in-front of others...rarely in-front of others.

The thing is I don't do it because I can't feel...I do it because I don't want to (do not Freud me...I know this isn't "normal"). 

I find that I find my release...my coping...my "its okay to cry" coming from fiction...crap!

I relate sad things in fiction to things that happen (or could happen) in my life or around me and have an emotional response.  I am am empathetic person.  If you are sad, I can relate and get sad...I just don't always fully project it until I am alone.

For example...watching the Series Finale of Lost Girl...not terribly sad but sad enough.  Tamsin f**king died after childbirth...that is a relatable thing...*level: tears*.  Her daughter grows up loved but without a mother...also relatable...*level: sobbing*.  Bo and the gang watch out for her...Bo says to her "I won't let you become a 'Lost Girl'..." JFC just rip my heart out people! *level: rocking in corner*

My point is it wasn't THAT sad to illicit the response(s) I had to it.  I find this happens with other shows/stories.  I wasn't a fan of Danny Pink on Doctor Who but I teared up when he died/sacrificed himself...don't even talk to me about Clara's death *level: don't f**king touch me*.  The parting of The Doctor and Rose...RELATABLE...*level: snot bubble*.  I could also just say...Vincent Van Gogh *level: silent ugly sobs*.  The series finale of House (dammit House!!!) *level: laughing through tears*.  Or...Allegiant (the book) *level: denial...why is my face wet, its not sad...she isn't DEAD* Hmmm, maybe I just don't like endings...the finality of things.

Crap, now I'm Freud-ing myself. 

No worries, I am not developing a split personality.  I will not have a Tyler Durden side that creates a club where we beat the $hit out of each other just to "feel".  But I do have a feeling I am not alone...others are probably similar.  I don't know why we do it (and I'm not gonna analyze that, EVER) but it works for me so why change it.

Shut up Tyler!

I think we are overdue for a new plague...

Alright, that sounds really awful and honestly I do not want to go through something like that.  But as stated in a previous post our society is in a downward spiral plummeting towards something really really really REALLY bad. 

I don't know what happened.  I am not a religious fanatic (obviously but I still have MORALS) so I'm not gonna be like "y'all need Jesus" but...ya know what "y'all need Jesus!" Or at least what he represented.  Some sort of moral compass.  Love thy neighbor.  Don't take what isn't yours.  Quit MURDERING people...which if we are being truthful that kind of goes along with the "don't take what isn't yours" thing.  Their LIFE isn't yours to take!!!!!!!

Why can't people cope with their life without enacting harm on another person?!?!  It's like an epidemic!  Life is hard, I know this.  I have stupid crap happen all the time.  Look rejection sucks...but...Rejection.is.normal.  Rejection is a healthy part of life.  Rejection makes you strive harder.  Rejection makes you better yourself so that next time you get what ever it was. 

You will not always make the team. 
You will not always get the job. 
You will not always get the promotion. 
You will not always get the girl/guy. 
You will not always GET WHAT YOU WANT. 

That doesn't mean that you now have the right to harm another person because you were rejected.

Maybe its because I am older but I really feel like the world has become an absolute nightmare.  A place where you can hurt someone or take their life just because YOU feel wronged in some way.  More often than not I am hearing about people who take EXTREME measures against others because they didn't get their way.  It is like they never got passed that Toddler Temper Tantrum phase. 

If a girl/guy/company rejects you:

- You do have the right to be upset
- You do have the right to be angry
- You do have the right to throw YOUR things, in YOUR residence
     ***not at another living creature
- You do have the right to question YOUR choices

- You do not have the right to physically attack anyone
     ***which also means not MURDERING them whether by your hand or a hired one
- You do not have the right to stalk - This includes but is not limited to:
    - Showing up at their work
    - Showing up at their home
    - Showing up when they are out with friends/family
- You do not have the right to harass them
- You do not have the right to damage their property - This includes but is not limited to:
    - Slashing their tires
    - Breaking their windshields
    - Throwing bricks through windows
- You do not have the right to harass their friends/family
- You do not have the right to harm their pets (there is a special place in hell for you if you do)


Just because you have been "wronged" does NOT give you the right to do anything but move on.  You should NEVER lay hands on another person unless in self defense.

No I wasn't attacked but someone I know lost their CHILD because of a "jealous" ex.   It doesn't matter that this person was an adult...they are still someone's CHILD and their life ended prematurely because someone else couldn't cope with them moving on with THEIR LIFE. 

P.S. This includes when you are a parent.  If your child is rejected, teach them a lesson...don't go bat$hit crazy to "save" their feelings.  You are making it WORSE.

P.P.S. People have differing opinions and lifestyles.  Unless their choices are harming you in some way (which is RARE) you have NO RIGHT to harm them or control them.  Live YOUR life and leave them alone to live THEIR life. 

Soooo should I or shouldn't I rub a lemon in my axilla...area...

Click bait *ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*, *psycho music*, screw you interwebs

I saw this on Pinterest and it piqued my curiosity.

Mainly because the only response I had was "ummmm I dunno...it would burn...I guess".  Oh and "why is there an 'it' in there...it doesn't need an 'it'...take out the 'it'!!!"

So I stupidly clicked the link. 


1. Some video started screaming at me (I hate those things!)
2. It was one of those click through slide shows (I REALLY hate those things)
3. This was the first slide

     3a.  Okaaaaay.  That is how to use Citrus on skin...not specifically underarms...lets click through
4. Next was "moisturize" (Cassandra is that you???), then "sunscreen", then like vitamins or some
    nonsense....
     4a. Not ONE f**king slide talked about armpits (wow that sounds much worse when I say it out 
     loud)
5.  The site was so "loaded" with BS it killed my web browser

So now I am annoyed because I had to log back in to everything AND I still don't know what happens when you put lemon on your pits.

My assumptions are it will shrink pores and reduce acne...I don't know why I need this kind of treatment for my arm pits but its on Pinterest so it must be good...right?!?! 

Maybe it kills bacteria that causes odor...or you will just smell lemony fresh...for a bit. 

Can you imagine my hubs coming home and seeing me rubbing half a lemon under my arm....?!?!

How hard do you "rub"? 
Do you leave it on or rinse it off?
Do you do this before or after showering?!?!!?
Does it matter what kind of lemon? 
Can I just use lemon juice from a jar (Not from concentrate)? 

I have so many questions....

***Directions unclear: I now have "fresh" squeezed lemon juice and I smell like a walking can of pledge...who is thirsty? Also, I seem to have attracted ants...***

SIDE NOTE - I am NOT actually trying this...it just sounds like something that would end badly for me.  #mypitsareonfire

SIDE SIDE NOTE - I'd somehow get it in my eye and go blind or something

Dance monkey, dance! *muahahaha*

I was told that "dancing" is not exercise.  Pardon?!?  My friend, dancing is most certainly exercise.  It is cardio, toning, and builds muscle.  But it's "girly" *hello, 1950's...when did you show up*. 

Dancing isn't just GIRLY...just like other sports aren't just BOYLY...manish...manly...whatever.  Dancing is a sport, you tw@t.  So I issued a challenge we do my "not really exercise" Zumba/Hip Hop dancing and then we will do running on a treadmill and weights.  We did this all in ONE day...there was a 3 hour break for food and "recovery".

Side Note - I alternate with the treadmill and weights too...so suck it Trebek. 

During Dance time:

I am surprisingly coordinated and KNEW the dances so while I probably don't look "great" I was more the "How I think I look" and they were more the "How I actually look"

 

After 1 hour of Zumba/Hip Hop:
Me (I mean, I wasn't pretty but full of energy):

I found this online...couldn't find a person to credit...sorry.

Them:

***3 hours later***

It was time for their "exercise".  This meant 2+ miles on the treadmill and using the machines.  I was told "try to keep up".  Okay FINE!  I may not run as fast as them but I can run...they finished their miles before I did.  Once done I did 6 sets of 10 on 6 of the 10 machines (focusing on arms and abs). 

When I was done I found them

Not mine: Photo: istolethetv/Flickr

Me: Ummm you okay??? 
Them: I can't feel my legs...and it hurts to breathe a bit
Me: Too many weights...?
Them:  I didn't do the machines
Me: ??? 
Them:  You win...Dancing hurts
Me: *laughing hysterically*
Them: Its not funny
Me: *still laughing*

I might not be in the BEST shape...I could use some improvement but I clearly have a better endurance than someone who just does a little cardio with a lot of weights. 

**Next Day** I was told muscles hurt that they didn't know existed.  

That's right boo...dancing is a FULL body workout not just certain areas.  Next step...YOGA *muahahaha*

**SIDE NOTE** This wasn't my sig other...he knows better *ehhhehehehe*. 

Can you accidently open a portal by just WATCHING those stupid TV shows?!?!?!

I spooked myself so bad.  I was home alone *doh* and decided to watch Sunday night TV.  Normally I watch the FOX lineup and Downton Abby but FOX had on The Passion Live (which I watched) and well the other one ended *wah*.  What does any normal person do after watching a live action bible story...they watch the new episode of "A Haunting", duh! 

Mind you prior to the live show I was watching reruns of A Haunting....like all day!  I clearly watch these kinds of shows all the time.  A Haunting, My Haunted House, Paranormal Lock down, Paranormal Survivor, Ghost Hunters, Celebrity Ghost Stories, Paranormal Witness...I think you get the idea.  And while sometimes they give me the heebie jeebies, I am not usually scared...most times I'm just intrigued.  I mean I know some people are nutters but they can't ALL be making this $hit up...right?!?!

So as I said it was a NEW episode of A Haunting so I was like sure why not *BAD IDEA*.  This episode was about a DEMON that attached itself to a young girl. 

*quick recap* Her dad died before she was born. Weird $hit starts happening in the house like 9 years later. They think its dad.  Little girl sees dad.  Its not dad, it morphs into this horrifying creature with f**king cat eyes (oh hello "yellow eyes"...watch SPN).  It DRAGS the little girl around the house, hides in the closet/bathroom/HER BEDROOM and is very violent.  I'm freaking out a bit...this is kind of scary.  

Moving on, I go to bed a little spooked but I am fine.  As I am showering I heard a noise so I opened my eyes and see a distorted face staring at me through the curtain, *yipahhhhhhh*...Dammit dog...quit being creepy. I finish up and go to lay down.  Speedy starts going BAT$HIT crazy.  Ummmm...dog....Dog...DOG...STAHP!  He is barking and growling at me.  He is BITING at my arm and literally pulled me off the bed.  He stopped...I got back in bed and he went ape$hit again pulling on my arm.  "What is wrong with you?!!?!"  It started to hurt so I yelled and he stopped.  I laid down and he climbed on top of me...growling...NOT at me, just in general.  "WTF dog, it is NOT play time. Go to sleep, you are freaking me out!"

I got comfy and started reading my book.  I was just starting to get drowsy when one side of my closet doors slowly popped open (its two of those two panel sliding ones). *eeeeeep* "Its a cat. *sees cat in my lap* Its the other cat " I crawled to the edge of my bed....no cat.  "f**k, f**k, f**k."  I pushed the door closed.  I attempted to get comfy again...it popped open again, no cat in sight...*sigh* "I'm going to die".  I pushed it closed.  I just laid back down when my door popped open again *staring in horror* and then one of the doors on my husbands popped open *scream* I dove to the foot of the bed and I thought I saw a black shadow go under the bed.  "WTF this isn't funny!!!"  That was the black cat...right....RIGHT?!?!?  Old lady cat starts "complaining" and growling.  "Oh just f**k me sideways, what is happening?!?!!?"

I jumped up, closed my closet...tethered it shut with a rope belt thing.  I closed the husbands closet and blocked it with the laundry basket, then looked under the bed.  Nothing...no cat....*breathing heavy* "Its fine, we are fine...its FINE!" 

I am now just staring at the TV waiting for something...nothing happens *whew*.  I eventually start to doze off and I hear *knock knock knock* *eyes pop open* *whimper* *pulls covers higher*.  I am clearly hearing things.  *knock knock knock* My closet door is moving but can't open.  "$hit $hit...its a cat, its a cat".  *bang bang bang*. Speedy starts growling, old lady runs out of the room.  "OMG I am going to be a statistic!"  I dove to the edge of the bed...nothing *sobbing* "It has to be a f**king cat!"

So now I am going to be the "stupid girl" from the horror movies.  I slowly lowered myself to look under the bed.  I hear a *hiss* and two glowing eyes come darting at my face.  I screamed, speedy is barking, I fell off the bed head first (we have tile floor...OW!) and now have a black cat playfully attacking my arm.  *with a shaky voice* "I f**king hate you!!!! You know that right!"

It was Demon Spawn.  Apparently she wanted to mess with me for some ungodly reason.  She was popping the doors open and then hiding under the bed, I guess.  Her collar is broken so there isn't a bell. She is in super stealth mode at the moment!  

Soooooo not a spirit or whatever...just an @$$hole cat.  

What is happening?!?! The Passion isn't supposed to make me laugh....

Oh man...oh man...I am so going to hell now.  Y'all!  Y'aaaaaall!  Alright I am watching "The Passion Live".  And it's not bad....really.  Its...just...uh...different.

I am mainly watching because it is in NOLA (NOLA Proud, what what) but I am also watching because it honestly looked good.  And despite the goofiness I post, I was raised Catholic so I wanted to see it.  And it really is good.  But the modernizing of the story of The Passion of Christ is TRIPPING ME OUT! 

I know they said it would be a retelling of the story with modern songs and stuff but I lost it a bit as Jesus and Peter started singing "Home" while walking down Royal Street.  Its fitting but it caught me off guard.

Flash forward to the breaking of bread thing and Jesus bought his bread from a FOOD TRUCK.  I was dying.  He walked up and was like "3 loaves of bread please".  *snort*

Then Judas is having an internal conflict and busted out "Bring Me To Life".  And while I LOVE that song and Daughtry was pretty phenomenal....I just...I guess I never thought of that song fitting with this story.  But it did.  Dang it...I'm conflicted. 

Moving on.  I am home alone and they are all sleeping under the CCC.  And he's about to be arrested, right.  The freaking NOPD S.W.A.T.  team shows up to arrest Jesus.  I lost my $hit.  I said "Dammit NOPD this is why we can't have nice things!  You arrested the Messiah!!!!" And I died laughing a little and then said "OMG, this show is making me a really bad person!"

So I am thinking this can't get any "weirder" and *BAM* Peter is walking through a NOLA hood being asked if he was with that Jesus guy (he denies it...typical).  Then he sings "The Reason" in a freaking NOLA Cemetery and I just...what is happening?!?!?

Suddenly we are watching Jesus get dragged on stage by the S.W.A.T. team in....AN ORANGE JUMP SUIT!  I legit *snorted*.  It's not funny, dang it!  This is a serious part of the story!!!  He is standing trial...and I am a giggling mess on my couch.  "Ooooo no honey boo, orange is NOT your color" (in my best impression of Agador from The Birdcage).

You can't tell me that wouldn't make you laugh...?!?!?!

Holla, Jesus is on top of the freaking WESTIN hotel singing "Unconditionally".  It made me smile but like a happy smile.  I love this song and it does fit well.  Then I got nervous because he is WAY up there and its windy tonight.  But I will say the wind made for a fairly awesome scene. 

And then....we pan out and see my BEAUTIFUL city! Closing with "When the Saints go Marching in" and I just...what an odd choice....I love you NOLA! Never change!!!!

Okay all in all, it was pretty great!  Now when I hear these songs I will think of this.  And that isn't necessarily a bad thing.  I just couldn't stop my giggles...so sue me!

Its not funny anymore. Joke is over. No really...stop......please.....

This is why Idiocracy could be considered a documentary.

Education is the key.  Educated people tend to make better decisions.  Not always the best decisions but better ones.  We are still human so mistakes will always be made.  So WHY IS EDUCATION NOT OUR PRIORITY?!?!?!  Yes we need to save the planet...stop killing Earth...THANKS! 

Yes we need to do a lot of things.  But fixing these are just band-aids.   If we focus on educating our spawn in addition to fixing the f**k ups...maybe...just maybe we have a fighting chance.  Right...right?!?! 

But there in lies part of the problem.  The persons able to become educated are putting off spawning until later in life.  Well later in life is where we have issues.  So it is possible that the intelligence wont be passed on. 

But those not educated (not always by their own choice) are popping them out one after the other.  And I am not saying ALL kids from uneducated parents have problems.  I am saying on an average that is the case.  Because the parents don't have the foundations to pass on to their spawn.  And teachers only have so much power.  So then we have more than likely 2nd generation uneducated and so on and so forth. 

My rant came from this......

- Person grows up watching older sibling crash and burn from SERIOUS drug problems
- Person watches in horror as older sibling royally screws up their 1st child while still battling a drug
  addiction (mainly HEROIN)
- Person watches as grandpa takes over raising of said child (Permanently)
- Person vows to never be like them
- Person watches older sibling have ANOTHER child while relapsing (Pills this time)
- Person is FREAKING out and watches as that child is taken by grandma (temporary but still)
- Person is starting a career in medical
- Person has an "ooops" ($hit happens, I'm not judging) and drops out of school (NOOOO don't do 
  that!)
- Person moves in with long time bf and baby
- I do not hear much from person for a few years but all seems well when we are in touch
- Suddenly I am told baby is seized by CPS and person & bf are in prison for child 
  endangerment and drug possession (not just any drug... METH)
***Holy f**king $hit!!!  What happened?!?!?!?***
- Baby is about to be released into the foster system when grandma steps up to the plate again and
  takes them in
- A two year battle with rehab & relapsing & domestic charges.  Being kicked out of group 
  homes.  Court.  You name it, it happened.  Person wants the kid but CPS says if they try to 
  take the kid, the kid will be seized...AGAIN.
- Grandma still has kid.  She is court appointed guardian.  Person is trying to stay sober...its an uphill
  battle.
- Today from person "I'm so excited to announce baby girl, due September 2016.  I'm in desperate need of baby stuff so please pass this along."

***Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! No no no no no no no...just f**king no!!!***
*** You can't take care of Baby A...you should NOT be having Baby B!!!!!***
*** Yes, access to things like sex ed and birth control would help but JFC you are 27 years old WITH A CHILD.  You should know that inserting Tab A into Slot B could end in Baby!!!!!***

So while Baby A is being raised by grandma...Baby B will be raised by person...maybe...I guess a court decision could change that.  I am terrified for BOTH of them.  Grandma is old...what happens to Baby A when she is gone or can't take care of them anymore!?!?!? Person couldn't handle raising one...how are they gonna raise two?!?!?

I'm not being mean or jealous.  I am being realistic.  I am being an observer and what I am observing scares me.  

This is just one example.  This happens all the time...I know it does...but how do we stop it.  How do we evolve instead of devolve.   How do we protect kids from following in their parents footsteps (poor choices).  I gave myself a headache.

 

SIDE NOTE - Drugs are bad.  Addiction is bad.  I know its hard to just quit but bringing kids into makes me stabby.

He's running for President?!?!? I thought he was "dead".....

I try to not be too political...too religious/anti-religious...too anything really.  I believe what I believe and if you believe differently, that's fine.  But somethings...I see them and I just want to Gibbs Slap people.

What the actual f**k?!?!!  I'll tell you what I'm gonna shout...go chomp on some arsenic...and for the love of whomever please don't vote...or reproduce...

Look I get it, our choices for the next president are pretty meh but REALLY?!?!?  Do you know how our electoral system works???  That's not how it works!!! You CANNOT VOTE FOR A DEAD GUY!  Even if said dead guy rose from the dead and went home only to be born again.  He might be our "only hope" (wait...I thought Obi-wan was our only hope...?) but he can't be President. 

Unless the second coming is happening this is STUPID!  Even if the 'second coming' is happening, he can't run...he's not a natural born citizen.  Well he is if he happens to be reborn here but I doubt any deity would want to come back as an American...especially not now.  Actually why would any deity want to come back period...our world is a f**ked up place.  Just keep your spot in the bleachers and watch this insanity unfold.

I get what they are trying to elude to but the "he has my vote" makes me want to run around screaming and throwing skittles at people.  No...just no...JUST NO!


Yes yes yes...a deity could just take over because powerful and whatnot but I am being literal...because its funny.

When I said I thoguht the devil was cute, I was talking about the actor!!! Not the actual devil!!! Please remove this curse!

Right so in a previous post I was rambling on about my crush on "the devil" but not really the devil...an ACTOR playing him on a TV Show.  Apparently the part where I said "NOT ACTUALLY THE DEVIL" was lost when some of the divine were reading my blog and they decided to punish me.

We did a travel race recently and thought "whooohoo excuse for a girls weekend".

Everything was fine.  We had some adult beverages and decided to do a buffet for dinner.  Buffets are usually a waste on me because I don't eat THAT much but what the heck, why not...?

A few of us went straight for the snow crabs...mmmmmm snow crabs.  They were delicious.  There was also boiled shrimp, prime rib, calamari, oysters, clams, scallops, pad thai, sushi (um no thanks...buffet...just...no), etc etc etc.  We were having fun and chatting and drinking (water/cokes at this point).  30-45 min later everyone started eating dessert but I wasn't in the mood (this is normal...I don't eat many sweets).  Mid-sentence I got the absolute worst stabbing pain I have EVER had.  I literally just stopped talking.  Then it passed.  Okay...that was weird...moving on.  A few minutes later it happened again...lasted longer but then passed. "Hmmmm what is wrong with me...?" Attributing it to "NOLA Gurl never eats this much" I ignored it (bad idea).  It happened again...SO BAD I white knuckle gripped the table and closed my eyes.  I thought I was going to pass out from pain.  My friends were like...dude you okay?  No...no...I think...I think I need to pop off to the potty for a tic.  Everything I ate was just dying to make a reappearance.  They were all done so they opted to go back to the room with me before we headed to our next destination.

I wasn't dying but I felt...off...and I was terrified of what the next "knife in the gut, rolling nausea" pain would bring with it.  As we are going up in the elevator one of my other friends stopped mid sentence and bent over in pain..."Uh oh".  She did not fare as well as me with the "OMG someone is stabbing me from the inside" pain (told you I have a high pain threshold).  No...no...she was about to....have a moment in the elevator.

It was like a childbirth moment.  "Sweetie breathe, breathe.  Okay you are fine...you're fine", *crying out in pain*, "you've got this...just 3 more floors" *to the other friend* "get the key out, NOW!".  We couldn't run down the hall because...just trust me when I say, that would have been unwise.

We barely made it into the room.  While one of us "died" in the bathroom, the rest of us just hung out in the common area with the TV up loud, for privacy purposes. I was not doing well sitting there but we only had one bathroom...*deep breath* you can wait.  Suddenly you hear "y'all *gasp* I think I might be dying!"  

By this point I am sweating and pale. *whoosa, whoosa*

"I'm fine...feel great...yep..." Yea no!  She came out just in time for me to bolt in there, I couldn't "breathe" my way through the pain anymore.

After my friend's second bout of dying in the bathroom the following occurred:

Me: Okay, so we are, uh, staying in...good, that's good.
Friend 1:  I need pepto, *groan* flopping onto the bed
Friend 2: Yea, I think that would be wise, y'all don't look too good
Me: *taking off leggings to put on my PJs* Right, I'll text the others and...
*running with leggings around my ankles and just a cami* 
*tripping over the leggings* 
*slamming into the wall* 
*crawling into the bathroom* 
*barely made it to the toilet*

***5 minutes later*** 

Friend 2: NOLA Gurl, you need to get out the bathroom, NOW!
Me: *in a sing song voice* I caaaaaan't , I'm having issssuuuuuessss *stabbing pain* *gag* *groan*
Friend 1: I can't, I can't hold this in *starting to cry* it hurts so much
Friend 2: *screaming* NOLA Gurl, we have a PROBLEM!!!
Me: *dying* * just straight up dying*
Friend 2: Weeeeellll there is a trash can in here
Friend 1: Ha! *gag* *groan* don't make me laugh...
Me: *sobbing* it just...it just won't stop! 

This went on for hours.  It was like a gladiator match trying to get to the bathroom.

We cuddled with each other on the bed, moaning in pain, and watching videos on a phone until we fell asleep (sort of).  I mean who wants to fall into a deep sleep when there is a chance you could puke or $hit yourself before you get to the f**king bathroom 

So we are 99% sure we had some type of food poisoning but we can't figure out what we ate differently. 

UPDATE - we think it was the snow crabs.  They were dumping the fresh ones on top of the older ones...we think ours were from the bottom...who knows how long there were there...o_O

And that's how you figure out you may have a new "celebrity crush" *doh*

Sooooooooooooooooooo I may have mentioned recently at that other site that I really really really REALLY like that new show Lucifer on Fox.  If you haven't watched it you are missing out!  Like holy crap I am 100% obsessed.  Okay not obsessed but I love it!  The casting is perfection.  The writing is amazing.  The whole premise is fascinating.  Never in my life did I think I would "feel sorry for the devil".  He's just so misunderstood...oh my God I am going to hell.

It also helps that Mr. Ellis is not bad to look at...and takes his shirt off...FREQUENTLY (thank you TV gods).  But it isn't just that...

Oh and the accent...what is it about accents?!?!!?  He's just really good at making me want to be friends with the devil...but he's still scary...that sounds so weird...

With that said I have my old favs.  Those will never change...probably (hahaha).  But I didn't realize how much Lucifer was on my mind until today.  Again, I sound like a satanist...I'm not...I SWEAR!

I was speaking to a Customer.  His name is Tom.  As he was talking I was scribbling notes.  I went back to look at my notes and I wrote down "Tom Ellis".  His name...his name isn't Ellis *gah*...its close but soooooooooo not.  It actually starts with an 'H' but it ends in -is so that's close...right?!?!

Anyways when I realized my blunder I put my head down and giggled.  Like legit GIGGLED.  Oh lord help me I think I have a teeny crush on the devil...I mean Mr. Ellis...I mean Mr. Ellis playing Lucifer Morningstar.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaand OMG I really do sound like a loon!

OMG who puts raw meat with tampons, and a nice chardonnay?!?!?! What kind of crazy world do you live in?!?! You are doing it wrong!!!

Sooooooo I think I am a tad OCD.  Not about everything but I have some quirks that are a bit...um...Unique.

I went to the store to get a few items.  It was lunch time so there were a lot of peeps in Target.  Translation, all check out lanes were packed.  I jumped in the first one I saw and almost died.  Okay, that maybe a bit dramatic...MAYBE.  There was a lady in front of me with a bunch of stuff. That wasn't the issue.  The issue was how it was arranged on the conveyor belt. 

I didn't notice at first.  I grabbed a divider and put my stuff on the belt.  Frozen foods together.  Canned foods together.  Deli items for lunch + drink together.  And a sports bra at the end with my coupons.  Then I looked at the belt *silent scream, silent scream*.  Does no one else notice this atrocity?!?!

There was no order.  It was like someone just dumped the buggy on the belt without thinking.  It took all of my self control not to start organizing it. The RAW MEAT was mixed up with canned foods and toiletries.  The dog bones were with veggies and shampoo.  The toiletries were with eggs & frozen bread and WORK OUT ATTIRE.  Dear god...Whhhhhy?!?!?!

Seriously, I was having a sitcom moment.  All I could picture was me snapping and frantically rearranging the items while the other shopper yelled at me and the cashier called security.  I'd be forcefully dragged out the store screaming "For the love of god don't put the sports bra with the ground meat!!!!"

Which by the way totally happened!!!  Sports bra with ground meat, and a block of cheese.  No...no...no.  You don't put raw meat with anything but other raw meats.  Honestly you put it alone if you are me but I try not to be too crazy. 

So I am an oddball...right?  Whatever, it makes sense to me!