Well that's a new "insult"...

Sooooooa big pet peeve of mine is unnecessary nosiness. I am not talking about my friends/family grilling me about whatever.  I am talking about when people ask pointless, irrelevant questions and then use the answers to cause drama.

Since I am now aware of the BS questions, I call people out on them.  Not meanly but I say SOMETHING. 

For example:
A friend surprised us and came in town.  Few people knew about it.  She rode with one of the peeps that knew and surprised the rest of us.  I told someone about this happenstance.  But I left out who she arrived with, opting to just say "she surprised us by coming in and only Person A and Person B knew. "   The response wasn't "oh why was she in town?"  or "where is she staying?"  or anything that a normal f**king person would ask.  No the ONLY question asked was "Who'd she ride with?"  Ummmmmm why the f**k is that relevant?!?!?

But I knew why!  Because that was going to be used as a drama starting thing about why she rode with one versus the other and why no one else knew, even though I said "it was a surprise".  So I said "Hmmmmm what an odd question...she rode with Person B".

This opened up a CAN OF CRAZY. 

Them: Why is my question odd. It is a normal question?
 
Me: Well it doesn’t really matter to the story who she came with so i wasn’t sure why you were asking hence the “odd question”. 

Them: Why is it you are always picky with anything I say . I am afraid to say anything!!!!! Your ____ & family did that to me and s lot of people thought they were so rude. Why can't you just answer the question and not always finding fault with what I say or ask. You sounds like Hil Clinton.

Like Hil Clinton....uuuuummmmm.  I stopped replying...and not to be a complete $hit but I DID answer the stupid question...just saying *rolling eyes*.  Clearly I hit a nerve......ooops

They both take place in Space...it could totally work!

Conversation:

Me: Why can I watch some movies a million times and never get really tired of them?
Hubs: Dunno, I'm not like that
Me: *glare*
Hubs: What movie were you watching?
Me: *distracted* Guardians of Gallifrey
Hubs: Huh?
Me:  *still distracted* You know with the Racoon and the Tree?
Hubs: Oh...I was thinking with the Time Lord and Police Box
Me:*blank stare* *thinking* *realization* *hysterical laughter*
Hubs: Are you okay?
Me: *trying to talk and failing* *crying laughing*
Hubs: *concerned stare* NOLA Gurl...?
Me: OMG...OMG...OMG someone write this!  Not me...someone else...who writes better...
Hubs: *knocking on my head* Helllllooooo
Me: Time Lord...Star Lord...close enough...
Hubs: What?!?
Me: There was a living tree lady in Season One...Oh, and she could still be Nebula...
Hubs: *guiding me down the hall* Bed time for the wifey
Me: *wistfully* I don't want to go
Hubs: *blank stare*
Me: *uncontrollable laughter* I am funny! *snort*
Hubs: When was the last time you slept...?

Clearly, my imagination runs wild when I'm tired...exhausted...sleep deprived...

Want to make a woman go bat-crap crazy on you....tell her she is like her mother AFTER she just complained how bat-crap crazy her mother is....

I am basically chill.  Most things don't get to me.  I am not easily offended.  Everyone gets mad/irritated/upset but I usually handle it in a very mature manner.  But there are times.  Oh there are times when the stars align.  These are bad times.  It usually means I've absorbed too much bull$hit.  I am past full.  One more molecule of bull$hit and it will all come flying back out.  Usually at an unsuspecting person who, in their defense, is used to me being calm and collected not a raging bull. 

Okay so here is why I was "full":

1. I am sick, like got the crud from idiot co-workers who came to work with the Plague and touched all my stuff, oh AND coughed INTO my office without covering their mouths!!!!!

2.  For the past 15 months we have been watching Oil go into the $hitter.  Last month it tanked.  $25 per barrel, what the actual f**K?!!?!?  I mean it rebounded some but this is still bad.  We live in LA...an oil & gas state...people are being laid off...this is NO BUENO

3.  With that knowledge my sig other has STILL been pestering me about a new vehicle.  Well a used vehicle...new to him.  Because he "wants" it.  Oh yea, well I want all sorts of stuff...doesn't mean I am going to just buy them!  Look, I am nice to a point.  "I really don't think that's a wise decision".  "You wont be able to sell your vehicle for what is left on the note".  "Why get ANOTHER note when this one will be paid off in 1 year?!?!" "I might not have a JOB in a few months...".  "FFS just NO!"

4.  Same discussions were had at the end of LAST year regarding a gaming console (that is for both of us *rolling eyes*), a family trip to the most magical place on Earth, and an overpriced gym membership with a CONTRACT.  I nixed those ideas citing FAILING ECONOMY and potential job loss.  I was "vetoed".  And by vetoed I mean he bought them anyway even after I said, bad idea.  It was justified with bonuses, tax refunds, a more than likely promotion, and a but I really want ____.  Yes, lets spend money we don't have YET.  That whole working as a team thing in action *beating head on keyboard* jhakhdfkhsj.

5.  My female parental unit has been driving me up an ever loving wall with BS tech crap.  Look I get it...you weren't "raised" with computers....but NEITHER WAS I technically and I still figured them out.  So if you want my help STOP yelling at me when I try to help.

6. My office is in the process of selling EVERYTHING that we don't need and moving to a smaller location.  It has been "organized" chaos for 3 weeks. 

7.  I'm.a.girl

This is like the unholy aligning of everything awful.  I've managed so far.  I haven't lashed out.  I've taken everything in stride *whooosa*.  And then I broke.

Me: *sounding completely defeated* Can you please clean up the kitchen tonight, its your turn or something.
Other half: You aren't the only one who cleans the f**king kitchen
Me: Ummmmm, right...just asking and don't "curse at me"
Other half: Just saying, I'll do it later
*text notification*
Me: *sigh* why can't she just do what I tell her and not freak out in 1000 !!!!! because "she wasn't raised with computers"
Other half:  *silence* *staring at phone*
Me: Right  *goes to heat up dinner* *starts putting away dishes because I am in there so why the f**k not*
Me:  Can you feed the dogs?
Other half: *Silence*
Me: *starts feeding dogs*
Other half: *5 minutes later* I'm going to bring convict (dog) to see that vehicle.  *looks up* I said I'd do it!
Me: *with attitude* Really, didn't hear you say, well ANYTHING.  Plus, I was in here and I didn't want to "nag" you into actually helping out
Other half: *quietly* You sound like your mother
Me: *leans over sink trying to convince myself that throwing my dinner at him would be a bad idea and almost failing*

 *instead bursts into angry tears*
Other half: *doesn't notice* *comes in kitchen*  Why are you crying...?
Me: Go away, I've got it
Other half: I said I'd do it. Why are you crying???
Me: Please leave me alone
Other half: Stop.  Why...
Me: Of all the f**king things you could say to me, you say that?!!?!?
*chaos ensures* *confusion* *I was just jokings are said*
Other half: Well, that is something she would say

Me: I'm out...*has an anxiety attack in the bedroom*
*15 min later*
Other half: I'm going to check out that vehicle tomorrow
Me: *screaming in my head* Ya know what, whatever

I am very proud that I didn't throw anything because I REALLY WANTED TO.  I mean am I being too understanding...am I that hard to read...or is this just a case of "I want to do it, so I'm going to do it (or not do it), regardless of what MY SPOUSE says".  

P.S. We talked it out a little later and the vehicle is now off the table because "I don't want him to have it *rolling eyes*".  Still more to be discussed. We all have issues mine just all came to a head at one time.  Financial BS is the WORST, especially when only one of you seems to pay attention to the world outside of our little bubble.  3,000 people showed up to a New Costco where 300 jobs were being added.  THREE THOUSAND unemployed persons...most being overly highly qualified showed up to get jobs as cashiers and stockers (nothing wrong with those jobs, just pointing out how not normal that is).  Yes, lets buy unnecessary things right now, that's a great idea... 

The Conversation!

This old Cajun couple in front of me at the store was having some major issues with their payment, the following ensued.

Husband: You chore we need all dis?  Dats sebinty dollars of stuff.

Wife: Mai yeah we do. You juice don make da groceries like I do

Husband: Fine den, use dat plastic card I gives you

Wife: Yeah yeah yeah

Cashier: Um, the card is saying invalid tender

Wife: *sweet as pie* Mai I know dere is monies on dat dere card,  you do dat dere again

Husband: *grumbles unintelligibly*

Cashier: *getting nervous* I've tried it four times, it won't work

Husband: For tru? Dat can' be!!! I don brought back a tv box las wek and dey wouldna giv me the dollars so dey gives me da plastic.

Me: *Trying NOT to laugh...trying to help.*

Cashier: *puts her light on for a manager*

Manager: I'm so sorry. It was swiped too many times and is locked.  I can't unlock it...it takes 4 fours to reset.

Me: *thinking* Oh that's bull$hit she just don't want to call the 800#.

Husband: Aaawwww YEA! Jew see!  Jew see dat! Dat is why I don't trus dem to put my monies on dat plastic!!!  I loss my hard earned cash.

Wife: Oh don't be so dramatic, its still dere, it's just locked up.  Now give that nice lady some monies

Husband: *shocked* me?!?  No, I don gave you da monies on on da plastic, I'm not giving you no more!

Wife: Awww yea, now you stop dat, right now!  You gives her the monies so we can get to goin.

Husband:  *grumbles in French* *hands over his monies*

Wife: Dats a good boy now *still smiling*

Cashier: Thanks...come again...

Me: *don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh* Why do I have a comic about Jesus....?

Couple: *bickering in French all the way out the door*