You know you have too much money when you pay to put baby foreskin on your face

What the actual f**k Hollywood?!?!?!  Look I get it, you want to look younger.  So do I but I draw the line at Korean Baby Foreskin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IFL Science posted this LINK.  I just...what?!?!?

This can't be real.  "Cate Blanchett credits her youthful glow to a treatment that uses the foreskins of Korean newborn babies. Aka, a penis facial."  Oh come on Kate...really...? 

Blanchett told Vogue Australia. "It’s something – I don’t know what it is, or whether it’s just cause it smells a bit like sperm – there’s some enzyme in it so Sandy refers to it as the penis facial."

REALLY?!?!?  It smells like sperm?!?!?  I can't with you people! 

All I can picture is people laying on a table with a bunch of tiny foreskins stuck to their faces!!!!! And that my friend is wrong on soooooooooooooooo many levels.

Its the best I can do.  I refuse to google "foreskin mask". That's just asking for gross stuff. 

Okay the actual name isn't Penis Facial.  "the Hollywood EGF facial. It involves a cleanse, an intensive TCA peel, micro-needling, an electrifying mask, and, finally, FDA-approved Epidermal Growth Factor (EGF) serum."

Hold up, swol up....how do we know its the EGF (Foreskin Goop) making you look younger?!?!  Couldn't it have been the 10 other things you had done BEFORE the dick cream??????

Also, "EGF is derived from the progenitor cells of the human fibroblast taken from Korean newborn baby foreskin" does it only work if its Korean newborn foreskin??? What if we can get you a deal on American or Mexican or Canadian Foreskin...? 

$650 & 2 year waiting list to have ground up baby penis skin rubbed into your freshly needled face. 

If you want a real "penis facial" I'll charge you $250 to sit in a steamy bathroom and let Fetish Frank jizz on your face and then rub it in.  Hell, I bet Frank would do it for free. 

What is even happening?!?!?

Apparently, its synthetically made in a lab...but if it is why does it keep saying Korean Baby Foreskin?!?!!?!?!

Side Note:  When I googled "y'all need Jesus gif" I got the below and now I am so confused!!!

What in the what what did I just read...?

*link*

I, um, who comes up wit this?!!?!

“63% of the females (37 of 59) tested harbored male microchimerism in the brain. Male microchimerism was present in multiple brain regions.”

Uh huh....and how exactly does that happen...?  Well glad you asked...

"Sperm is alive. It is living cells. When it is injected into you it swims and swims until it crashes headlong into a wall, and then it attaches and burrows into your flesh. If it’s in your mouth it swims and climbs into your nasal passages, inner ear, and behind your eyes. Then it digs in. It enters your blood stream and collects in your brain and spine."

I mean there were 3 other rare options but this was the last...what on Earth?!?!?  This cannot be real... right?!?  I feel like this is something taken out of context...otherwise this is just weird AF.