I think I'm a Siren...?

Okay maybe not the luring to death part but there is something......there has to be.

I know I've been called a flirt and I know I am friendly but I am not...I don't think I am sending mixed signals...

So I am on an appointment with others from my company. 

I can't say where I was but I can say there was one...individual who...lets just say I wouldn't want to be around him by myself.  He was staring at me and noticed the light pink in the sunlight...he said "Hey gurl, I like yo purty hur". 

Moving on, I was scribbling notes about the appointment and didn't get introduced to the last 2 people to show up so they didn't get my card.  I noticed one wasn't really paying attention to our tech but blew it off.  As we were leaving we all shook hands and skeedaddled. 

Later that afternoon I get a text on my work line from an unknown number.

?:  Hey, this is Bob we weren't cordially introduced earlier.  I just wanted to say hello
Me: Oh, hey.  Nice to "officially" meet you. 
?:  Is this NOLA Gurl?
Me: Yes....
?: I actually wanted to speak but got tied up with *tech*. I Think your real cute got lost for a minute in what I was supposed to be getting right with *tech*. Hope I’m not being to personal?

I didn't know what to do.  He wasn't the first guy, who clearly wanted to scalp me...yay for that but.... On the one hand SOOOOO INAPPROPRIATE.  On the other... Whatever, I called my co-workers.  Because what the heck!

It was suggested not to reply.  Don't even entertain it with a "thanks but no thanks". 

Okay fine...the problem is I have to be around them in the next few weeks!  This is going to be so f**king weird.

I'm sure its innocent but don't do that with a vendor.....  I am a vendor.... its just......I don't know how to voice it but it's just not a good idea to do that...besides the whole HAPPILY MARRIED.  I mean that is a given here.   GAH!

I'm sure he's a very nice guy but.............

Friendliness or friendly "flirting" and flirting with intent are two very different things!!!!

I am apparently a "flirt".  It drove jealous possessive exes INSANE back in the day.  But I refused to change which I think drove them more insane.  It is my personality though.  I wasn't flirting with intent...it was just me being friendly which I was told equaled "flirting".  It is hard to explain but people who have a naturally "flirty" personality understand and thankfully my hubs and I are on the same page. 

The exes would always tell me I "flirted" with people right in front of them.  That it was disrespectful and showed that I clearly had no boundaries.  This Pissed.Me.Off.  I never led anyone on.  I never allowed anyone to think my friendliness was anything more that just that...FRIEND.  I acted the same way with girls and boys.  I think this confused the Neanderthals I dated.  If me being nice was misconstrued as "I want to f**k you right here", then that person is a moron.

They used to try to make me see how "hurtful" I was being by flirting with other girls in front of me (I know, I know I picked real winners here).  The difference was THEY were leading these girls on.  They didn't make it clear that their intention was being friendly.  They flirted with intent and bought drinks and danced and almost got their @$$es kicked because these girls would find out who I was and would want to defend the poor girl whose boyfriend was blatantly flirting with them. Their body language was DIFFERENT!  I just stood on the side and rolled my eyes.  Clearly these people were extremely insecure.

Friendly "flirting" is just that, friendly...THAT IS IT!  I am meeting a new person.  I am including their girlfriend/boyfriend if they have one.  I am including their friends if they aren't alone.  I am not accepting drinks from them.  I am not grinding on them.  I am not leaning in or touching them.  I am not exchanging numbers with them.  I am JUST F**KING TALKING!  The body language doesn't say f**k me, just hi. 

Flirting with intent is different.  You are trying to "seal the deal".  If you are at a bar/club, you are accepting drinks and/or dancing.  You are exchanging numbers with promises of meeting up in the future.  The body language is different.  Your smile is different.  You are leaning in.  You are touching in some way shape or form.  You are letting them know you are interested!

THAT IS FLIRTING!!!!

Some how in the last 10 years the ability to read body language has completely disappeared or people are just incredibly cocky now.  For some reason every time I smile at someone they suddenly think I am DTF and I so am NOT.  And I am not talking about complete strangers.  I am talking about business associates, vendors, customers, etc.   Men and women alike!  There was a rumor about me at one of my customers locations that I shamelessly flirted with the CFO to get in HER pants.  Um negative ghostrider.  Sooooo what, I can't smile at people or make small talk without "leading someone on".   What the actual f**k is wrong with everyone?!?!? 

Newflash a conversation and a smile does not equal I want to f**k you...it means I am a nice f**king human being...That.Is.All!  Jesus, people, read body language.  Its not hard.  If you smile at me, I just think you are nice.  And if you think everyone who looks in your direction wants your d**k/p***y then YOU have some serious ISSUES!

Rant over, NOLA Gurl out!

I think I woke up in a romantic comedy

You know the movies.  The ones that give a skewed view of how relationships actually happen. They almost never happen the way they are depicted in movies. The below totally could have happened in one of those movies and the two people would live happily ever after or some bull$hit like that. 

Obviously I am NOT on the market.  I am not looking for love.  I already found it and am very happy.  But because of my bubbly personality sometimes people end up having a crush on me.  I unintentionally flirt, I guess.  I mean I don't think it is flirting but my over the top friendliness is sometimes misread.  I am really not trying to be cocky...it happens.  Sometimes its harmless and fades away after a short time.  Other times (rarely) it lingers and makes all parties uncomfortable.  It is really hard for me when this happens because while trying to maintain an air of professionalism, I have to PRETEND the guy I speak to/see all the time DOESN'T have a crush on me.  This has been going on for over a year people!

Anyways, it came to head *hahahaha* the other day.  I was assisting with an issue over the phone.  It was a minor thing but very time consuming for my contact(s).  I offered to create something custom and send for approval.  See PROFESSIONAL!  Anyways after I created said custom thing I got a call. 

Me: This is NOLAGurl.  How can I help you?
Person: Hey!!!!!
Me: *crap who is this* Hi!
Person: You are so awesome!!!
Me: Oh hello, um thanks. (I realized who it was)
Person: *asks technical questions about the thing*
Me: *answers technical questions about the thing*
Person: *very giddy* This will solve so many issues and answer so many questions!!!
Me: Well glad I could help.
Person:  I will let you know once it is approved
Me: Wonderful, just reply to my email so I have it in "writing"
Person: Will do!!! Have a nice day!!!
Me: You too!
Person: Bye, love you
Me: ..............
Person: ...............*crickets* *shallow breathing*
Me: *WTF, did I hear that right?!?!!?* K, Uhhhh, bye

I hung up so fast I think I broke the receiver.

I feel bad...it was a total slip and he is probably mortified.  I am embarrassed for him! I mean I would be wanting to crawl under a rock right now...but not everyone is like my basket case self...he may be just fine.   I haven't spoken to him since but I've gotten emails so that's good, I guess. 

This would totally be in a movie...except the me part wouldn't be married and there would be all this hilarious tension because neither would make a move and then that would be said and everything would miraculously change.  See ROMANTIC COMEDY!

It's Raining Men...

...And here I am without my Umbrella!

Holy crap, I dunno what to do. Okay so last night I went to the Rehearsal Dinner with Friend's Cousin. We had so much fun!!! I made friends with the wife of one of the Usher's so her and I were cutting up the whole time. Me and my date were goofing off also. He was MUCH more comfortable with me this time and definitely more flirty.

It was so embarrassing at one point because we were sitting there talking and we can hear the people at one end of the table saying to take the Bride and Grooms order first. So I am talking to my new friend and my date was telling a story, I believe and all of a sudden I hear the waitress say, "they told me to take your order first" to my date. He played it off very well and I just laughed. Then I turned around and the Usher said "you're gonna need 10 glasses of wine after that one", haha.

Well anyway, the way we were seated two of the groomsmen without dates were across from us. They are old military buddies of the Groom. One was very cute/charming and the other I swear was gay but he had a wedding band sooooooo I dunno. Well the cute one was FLIRTING with me, like shamelessly. I know my date noticed...well he may not have he was having too much fun swapping stories with the Groom. Don't get me wrong this guy very attractive but seriously man, I was with someone, STOP FLIRTING. I took it as a compliment though, I must have looked quite HOT!

A good time was had by all and it really made me lookforward to the wedding tomorrow. I think I'll have a good time :). After the dinner ended I got hugs from everyone, yay they must have liked me ;) haha. Well my date brought me back to my car and I headed home. Before I was half way there he called. He wanted to tell me to drive safe and that I looked very pretty tonight (which he must have said 10 times throughout the night). THen he said "so what's it like still living with your Ex?" Um, what, how in tha world...Um, k. Well I explained the situation and he started laughing. He said I am a better person than him. I think I made him feel better when I said "Thats been over since april, we are Literally roomates, he does his thing I do my thing and we will go our seperate ways once we sell the house". He seemed ok with it, but its hard to tell over the phone but he still asked me to call when I got in my house so he knew I was safe, aw.

When I called he said again how nice I looked and that he had lots of fun. He said he'll call me today :D.

So why is it raining men. Well...
1. I had another good date with Friends Cousin
2. Best Man was Flirting with me ALL night
3. Internet guy texted and called me a few times "just to say hello and goodnight"
oh yea and
4. when I was leaving, I noticed my Ex watching me out of the corner of my eye (he never does that)

What to do, what to do? Oooo Ooooo Oooooo I know, go compleltly insane and have my best friend commit me :P. So what I predicted happened BUT it happened at the Rehearsal not the Wedding. I am NOT ready to be tied down to one guy. I like Internet Guy a lot I really do but I am not even close to being ready to be in another semi-serious relationship.