That was not made by a human...it was very not human...have I been abducted?!?!?

So reason number 4,658 why sick people should STAY home!  I am sick...I am home...I am still working...OMG the insanity.  Other persons do not do this and this is why I am SICK!  This is gross....funny but gross so read at your own risk. 

A couple days ago I developed a cough while at work.  Not like a tiny *cough, cough*.  I mean like a *cough, cough*.  Ya know that hollow deep chest cough that makes you sound like you are barking.  Attractive I know.  It was so bad that our boss was like "Hey lil bit, you okay?".  Do I sound okay?!?!!??!  I went home (like a good person does) so as not to infect anyone else who hasn't caught the crud yet. 

Side Note - When I cough or sneeze I do it into my shirt/dress.  It keeps the nastiness contained to me!  Don't use your hands, you touch things with those.  Well I mean its better than nothing.  Your elbow is better but only deflects the spray.  Again, ewwww, I know. 

Well today I woke up sounding worse than I feel.  I actually feel MUCH better but the voice is shot and I am coughing so much more!!!  But its not the hollow cough...its that gross cough.  That, "I smoked for 50 years" cough.  And then it happened.  I was on the phone with a client and I felt the tickle.  The tickle that would let me know I am about to have the mother of all coughing fits.  I held it back trying to finish my conversation but the urge was so strong.  My eyes were watering and my voice kept catching when I spoke.  So I did a tiny *cough* to abate it.  I immediately regretted that decision and wanted to vomit.  

Thankfully the client was still talking so I ran to the bathroom, put the phone on mute, and spit out the creature suddenly invading my mouth.   "*ahhhhhhh* WTF is that?!!?!?"  We've all been sick and had nastiness come out I am sure.  But this was new.  This was clearly alive...maybe...or I'm hallucinating...also possible. Either way, I am pretty sure I "birthed" a baby Blob.   

Husband said all he heard was "*bleh* Whaaaaaaa....ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! Does that have fur!!!?!? That CANNOT be normal".  I swear it may have had an "eye". 

I know I know, TMI.... Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!  Things that are NEON green should not be produced by my body!!!!!  Apparently, I am wrong...this is normal....  "Some believe that the presence of mucus indicates that there is something wrong with them, but in fact, it is just the natural immune response of the body to various invaders that attack it."  Yea yea I knew that, but NEON green!?!?!?  "Typically, this occurs when the immune system sends white blood cells to the area of infection. These cells contain a green protein, which, when present in large quantities, turn the mucus into a greenish hue."  

It says greenish not NEON green.  Clearly not normal, right?  Husband says I am being silly.  Fine, so not an alien.   Maybe I should lay off the X-Files.  Or watch it more...ya know for science or something.