Take me back!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ha!  Okay maybe I shouldn't be that dramatic...also, I think I just made myself sad....

Moving on, I saw this A-MAZING throw back to the 90's video that had me smiling like an idiot. I may be an 80's baby but the 90's were where I learned to be me.  They were cheesy but honestly...

I'm gonna go listen to my 90's Pandroa station and have a Surge Cola....after which I will run 10 miles because who the F**K needs that much sugar/caffeine?!?!?! That's like a hyper-active puppy on speed.

SIDE NOTE - Yes I am aware Mountain Dew, Red Bull, etc. has higher caffeine content but I don't fancy drinking Alien Piss (MD - inside joke with my friends...not sure if anyone else had the same...joke...) or having a heart attack..... 

Or hallucinating for that matter....seriously, WTF kind of marketing was this?!?!!?

Ahhhhh kill it! Kill it with fire!!!

SIDE SIDE NOTE - No, I didn't realize immediately how silly it is to say Alien Piss with a gif of The Doctor right above....

Good lord someone stop me....talk about getting side tracked....maybe someone slipped some Surge into my coffee....

F**k Cancer

I'm fine and my immediate family/friends are fine but someone I haven't thought about in YEARS isn't.  He is a friend of a friend but when he came visit us we became fast friends.  We probably haven't spoken in 10 years but we keep up with each other through our mutual friend.

He is 1 year older than me (soooo YOUNG!).  He was having abdominal pains.  The docs couldn't pin point the source of the pain.  Things like obstruction, twisted bowel, cyst, etc were thrown out.  Then someone took a closer look at an x-ray and saw something hiding behind his other organs.  He went into emergency surgery because of the location and size.  We are hoping it was caught in time and all will be well but I am so scared for him...for his wife...for his young children. 

I haven't really thought about him in a long while so when I heard this news all the crazy college visits came flooding back.  One in particular has me smiling like an idiot.  So everyone was gone for a break/holiday thing.  There were only a few of us left in the area.  I went home to NOLA to visit the fam.  I got a call from my friend saying his BFF from high school flew in on a whim and they were heading to NOLA.  I was like, here's my momma's address pick me up on the way to town. 

I thought my momma was gonna pass out when they showed up at the door.  I come from a VERY Southern/Sheltered/Catholic family.  My friend and his BFF are Middle Eastern.  I saw no issue but apparently all the stereotypes she'd heard came flying to the surface.  Thankfully she just smiled and was super polite.  (she's fine with it now because well, he is just a normal guy) So off we went to show my new buddy the infamous City of New Orleans.  

We had sooooooooooo much fun.  The best part about being a local is seeing the amazement and wonder through a tourist.  A tourist who isn't acting like a jerk-face but embracing all the uniqueness that is NOLA.  What was funny is my friend was BFF's with my then Boyfriend so they were "protecting" me from being hit on.  They learned the best way to do this was to tell everyone I was their SISTER!  You don't understand how funny this was.  People were like "whaaaa...really?!!?" Think about it.  They are both brown skinned with dark hair and dark eyes.  I am light olive complected with blonde hair and green eyes.  It was hilarious!  It was so fun that the joke has stuck around all these years later.  I still get introduced as the "sister" by my friend and its still flipping hilarious because people don't always cover their "shock" well. 

All silly memories aside, I am worried about my brother from another mother...city...COUNTRY but I am hoping it being caught early, they can get him on the road to recovery quickly.  

It's amazing what can trigger buried memories & emotions

I don't know if these could be considered PTSD but they weren't fun. 

Example 1:
When I was a teenager I was in a car wreck.  A bad car wreck.  A wreck where you looked at the vehicle and wondered how anyone much less all four passengers survived with minor injuries.  I had zero memory of the actual wreck.  I hit my head extremely hard, breaking the back window and cutting my scalp.  I don't remember much until a few hours later in the ER.  About a month or so after said wreck I went with my BFFs to see "I know what you did last summer".  There is a scene at the beginning where they hit the guy.  There was glass breaking, metal crunching and squealing tires.  I freaked out.  I had a panic attack in the movie theater and started crying.  Those sounds triggered my memory of the night.  After I remembered everything I was terrified of riding in the backseat, especially the drivers side.  As the years passed the fear diminished and eventually mostly went away all together.  I still get antsy when riding in the back but I can control it.  But to this day when I hear and/or see a wreck whether in person or in a TV Show/Movie my breathing speeds up, my heart starts pounding and I have to talk myself down.  Its not debilitating like it once was but it still exists 18 years later. 

Example 2:
So its been 8 years since my stupid ex did stupid things.  I'm over it, he's over it.  We are amicable.  We aren't friends so to say but there is no more bad blood.  I recently realized I avoid certain movies/tv shows because of the stupid things that happened .  Especially ones that are based around cheating and/or breaking up.  I didn't realize I was doing it.  I am happily married to an amazing man why would this still bother me?  My only conclusion is because deep down that whole situation really f**ked up head and I am "secretly" terrified it will happen again. 

I didn't even know I felt this way until Tuesday.  Tuesday was NCIS day.  I watch NCIS, I like NCIS.  I adore Bishop and her cutesy relationship with her hubby.  They seem to go together so well.  She is so understanding of him.  He is going through a hard time.  She voices this to him, how she knows he is in a difficult place but she is there for him.  He blurts out hes f**king his co-worker.  Bishop walks out...she seems numb.  Meanwhile I am literally a blubbering mess on my couch.  All of that stupid hurt and pain came flooding back in.  I could relate to Bishop.  I was the understanding fiance and *blam* he blurts out he has "feelings" for another girl.  He swore nothing happened...but the story changed over time.  It sucked...I NEVER want to ever experience that again.  Which I am assuming that is why that scene triggered such a crazy emotional response from me. 

Ever have a song slap you in the face?

Yea, I know I seem to have a strange connection to music at times but some songs just speak to me.  So a while back I somehow got the Katy Perry album Prism for free.  I was happy about it.  I like her sometimes and I knew a few of the songs so "Yay". 

Anyways as I've said recently my little pink iPod nano is on the fritz so I have to keep it on shuffle.  Of course with 2000 songs who knows what you are going to get.  So imagine my surprise when I heard this song and almost cried....almost...not quite.  Moving on, I was driving to podunk Louisiana for an appointment at the butt crack of dawn listening to music.  I wasn't paying close attention but I heard this part "Looked in the mirror and decided to stay.  Wasn't gonna let love take me out. That way".

At this point I woke up enough to realize I needed to restart this song.  I listened to it 3 times.  You don't understand...this song happened to me.  It described MY LIFE, even down to the age.  Not my age now...but my age when my entire world went to $hit.  I was only 27...or already 27 (depending on how you want to look at it). I was engaged and had a house and everything was great until it wasn't.  And the only reason I was able to pick up the pieces of my broken life was because of my friends (they are like my sisters).  Without them, I don't know what would have happened to me.  The song is called "By the Grace of God" and while I have my moments of anti-religion, this song spoke/speaks to me.

Here are the lyrics...if I didn't know any better, I'd swear they were taken from my diary.

Katy Perry - By The Grace of God

Was 27 surviving my return to Saturn
A long vacation didn't sound so bad
Was full of secrets locked up tight like iron melting
Running on empty, so out of gas

Thought I wasn't enough and I wasn't so tough
Laying on the bathroom floor
We were living on a fault line
And I felt the fault was all mine
Couldn't take it any more

By the grace of God (there was no other way)
I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay)
I put one foot in front of the other and I
Looked in the mirror and decided to stay
Wasn't gonna let love take me out
That way

I thank my sister for keeping my head above the water
When the truth was like swallowing sand
Now every morning
There is no more morning oh I
Can finally see myself again

I know I am enough
Possible to be loved
It was not about me
Now I have to rise above
Let the universe call the bluff
Yeah the truth will set you free

By the grace of God (there was no other way)
I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay)
I put one foot in front of the other and I
Looked in the mirror and decided to stay
Wasn't gonna let love take me out

That way no
There ain't no
Not in the name of love
In the name of love (in the name of love)
That way
There ain't no
I'm not giving up

By the grace of God
I picked myself back up
I put one foot in front of the other and I
Looked in the mirror (looked in the mirror)
Looked in the mirror (looked in the mirror)

By the grace of God (there was no other way)
I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay)
I put one foot in front of the other and I
Looked in the mirror and decided to stay
Wasn't gonna let love take me out
That way

I can't be the only who who dies of the same embarrassing moment over and over again...right?!?!

Look, I embarrass myself regularly. I usually make a funny and its forgotten.  But there are some instances where I relive the moment of stupidity over and over and over again.  And I am not talking about "oh yesterday I did something silly" *shrug*.   I am talking about driving in my car listening to the radio and *BAM* I am back in college saying something absolutely moronic to my then boyfriend.  Or singing in the shower and *ZAP* it's 10 years ago and I am at my friends wedding drunker than Cooter Brown (I didn't do anything that stupid but I hate being not in control).  Maybe the memory flash of that time I drank too much wine and said something horribly insulting a friend couple of mine.  And I didn't mean it like it came out.  I hadn't eaten and my thoughts were scattered so I couldn't brain properly.  Or how about when I randomly remember that I actually wanted to STAY with the dumb@$$ that punched the wall next to my face...what on Earth was I thinking?!?!?! *ugh* I hate remembering that one. 

I just don't get it.  How do people permanently put embarrassing moments behind them???  Or are they like me, they look all whatever on the surface but under the facade they are cringing at the memory of that stupid thing they did/said in High School. How many times will I be overcome with "OMG I can't believe I said that" or moments of "God, I was so stupid!" There are sometimes weeks between my "memories" other times it is hours.  But all of them are 100% unexpected.  Meaning they come completely out of LEFT FIELD. 

Does anyone else want to crawl under a rock when this happens?  Because 90% of the time my memory triggers that gut dropping feeling of utter disappointment in my ability to be semi normal.  What's funny is I am almost certain my stupid moment(s) isn't remembered by anyone other than myself.  Maybe my subconscious just likes to beat me up from time to time.  You know to make sure I don't have too much confidence in myself. 

10 years ago, still seems like yesterday - PART 4

This is the last "piece" about this. . . at least from me.

After Rita things slowly (mind melting slow) started to move forward.  Eventually we were allowed in Orleans parish to assess the damage to the grandparents home.  I took a few days off work (I'd found a job by this point).  It was forceful reminder of everything that had happened.  I practically grew up in their home, spending most of my summers there while my mom worked.  It was obvious when we pulled up that it was a total loss.  While the building was still standing there was a stillness to it that spoke volumes.  That with the brightly painted 'X' with numbers stood as ugly reminder of how many lives (human and pets) were lost.  The door was barricaded shut by the fridge which had fallen over as it floated around the kitchen.  The back storm door was locked from the inside so you couldn't open it to get to the back door.

Being pint sized I was able to slip through the front door between the fridge and the door.  I had to climb over so much...stuff...to get through the house and to the back door.  Of course the lock was sticking (water will do that) so it took me a while to finagle it open.  Every second I stood there in the dark flooded house my heartbeat picked up.  I felt like I wasn't alone although I knew I was.  My fear was running high.  It was at least 100 degrees and humid inside, obviously with no breeze.  Having that stupid but necessary mask on wasn't helping.  I ended up having to break the storm door by kicking it repeatedly (grandma wasn't happy but it was the only way).  Once inside, we got most of the windows open and I started the horrible task of documenting this tragedy in pictures. 

That 1st day we didn't do much except walk around in a daze, trying to wrap our brains around what had happened.  We KNEW what happened but to be standing there in the middle of it, seeing the water line from the not quite 8 feet of water, seeing all their material possessions, memories, and collections destroyed in one fateful moment as the waters came barging in.  There were many trips back to their former home.  Some I was there for, others I was not.  Each time we tried to salvage what we could and trash what we couldn't.  You would think as the days went on, it got easier...but it didn't.  If anything it got so much harder.  Because the more you dug around, the more mangled memories you found.  Good and bad, happy and sad...all of them broken by raging waters. 

At one point I was mucking about in their bedroom, I was the only one who could fit through the tiny opening...I had to clear debris (I am pint sized, NOT EASY) to finally wedge the door open enough.  I found my mom and dad's wedding album.  It was on the top shelf in a closet.  It was okay!  I mean a little damp but only at the bottom.  Most of the pictures were saved.  Granted my parents are divorced but this is still part of history, part of MY history and it gave us a little glimmer of hope that not everything was lost.  I also managed to shimmy my way into the attic to see what I could salvage.  It was very bright and had fresh air, thanks to the two ginormous holes ripped through the roof.  This time my spidey senses were spot on.  I was NOT alone.  My hidden companion hissed and growled and had glowing eyes.  Could of been a cat, could of been a racoon...I didn't stick around long enough to find out. 

It took many, many hours to go through the entire house.  This is 50+ years of stuff.  I ended up with a few items my grandma couldn't take but didn't want to toss or put in storage.  They were items that held a special place in my memories.  Nothing of monetary value but invaluable to me.

Once done with their house I was called into action again by the other side of my family.  My paternal grandma's house was also damaged and uninhabitable.  While it wasn't flood waters for her, the gaping holes in the roof allowed the driving rain to...well rain inside.  It caused insane amounts of damage.  I helped clear out her stuff as well.  Once it was all said and done I said "If I never step foot in a flooded house again, it will be too soon."  Oh how those words would come back and haunt me 7 years later on the anniversary of this catastrophic storm. 

10 years ago, still seems like yesterday - PART 3

More than a week but not quite two went by and we were still without power in Baton Rouge where we were staying.  We'd located most of our family and friends but we still weren't allowed to go home. . .to see how much we lost.  The BR looked like a war zone.  Trees were down everywhere, roads were blocked and low lying areas were flooded.  When we were allowed to, we stood in lines to get food, to get water, to get ice, to get necessities, to get answers.  We got the first four eventually but answers were few and far between. 

We finally got word that our parish was reopening.  There was still no electricity but we could go home.  We much preferred being there with no lights rather than crowding my cousin's house with the rest of the fam and no lights.  So we packed up our belongings, our animals & my mom and headed home. 

Debris littered the streets and highways but getting home took much less time than getting out.  As we turned down our street we were greeted with some neighbors who had managed to make it back.  We saw our house, it was fine.  *whew*.  No water and limited wind damage.  A few downed trees and our fence was completely gone, but none hit the house...how, I have no idea but we considered ourselves extremely lucky!  You could see the water line in the front lawn.  Clearly the water had risen significantly if it got that high by us.  Our neighborhood had NEVER flooded in a storm, not even Andrew (1995) which flooded other parts of our town (as told by the older neighbors). 

Clean up and settling back in was unpleasant but at least we had a home still.  Plus the electricity didn't stay off for long after we got back.  It was another week or so (I think) before my mom was allowed back into her parish (not Orleans).  They wouldn't let anyone in UNLESS they had an address in the parish.  Thankfully I hadn't changed mine on my license yet so I was allowed to accompany her and my boyfriend worked for the state so his badge got him in as well.   

Her house was still there, yay!  No flooding, yay! Giant tree resting on the roof, boo!  The drive to her house looked even sketchier than the drive to ours.  Trees were down...all lying in the SAME direction.  Clearly straight line winds, immensely strong winds, did this.  We are talking about 100 year oaks and other MASSIVE trees, completely UPROOTED.  I monkey-ied my way up the fallen tree and onto her roof to get a better look.  It was absolutely sobering.  As far as you could see in any direction there was complete destruction.  We took lots of pictures and opened the windows to air things out.  She had quite a bit of water inside because of the holes punched in the roof thanks to the tree.  We deemed her house unlivable for now, so we got a few more necessities for her, locked it down and headed back to our house. 

It took weeks to get her insurance crap 1/2 way straight so she stayed with us.  Before they could even think about scheduling her house to be fixed we had ANOTHER hurricane.  Rita came barreling in.  She hit much more west of us (we did NOT evacuate) but she was a b**ch as well.  More trees came down by us (clearly weakened by the 1st storm) and the temporary levees breached again.  Once again the city was inundated with water. 

10 years ago, still seems like yesterday - PART 2

FOUR hours later we made it to Baton Rouge.  Normally that drive takes about 45 min - 1 hour from where I live.  We took back highways and little know routes, steering clear of Airline Hwy and I-10.  My mom and grandma took about 6 hours and my uncle and grandfather (who waited until the last freaking second to leave) took even longer.  If I remember correctly, they waited too long to initiate "contra flow", the highway systems were overwhelmed.  But they had to get people off the roads before the storm hit.  Honestly it was tad insane.  Cell phones were already messing up because everyone and their momma (literally) was on the phone trying to see where everyone was.  7 people, 6 dogs, 2 snakes, some feeder mice, 1 cat and 1 bird in a 1 bedroom house was a little crowded BUT it was safe...right?

It didn't seem like very much time had passed before the tell tale signs of a super storm started to make themselves known.  The animals were a wreck!  The dogs could not sit still.  My cat chewed a hole in the underside of my cousin's box spring to hide in it.  And to be truthful we were all on edge as well. The TV was on a 24/7 loop of local news recapping what we all already knew, Katrina could easily wipe NOLA and the Mississippi Gulf Coast off the map.  Eventually the power went out and we were left to sit there listening to WWL News Radio by candle/lantern light as the wind howled outside.  It was hot as Hades in the house...it was August people...so we chanced opening the front door (it had a latched screen door) and some windows.  We attempted to sleep at some point...an unspoken agreement to leave the radio on to hear any updates they might have.  I remember laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, trying to comfort my trembling dogs.  Between the screaming wind and driving rain, it sounded like someone was snapping twigs outside, mixed with something that sounded like a giant taking a step (all I needed was to hear Fe Fi Fo Fum).  We knew what was happening...the winds were so strong tree limbs were breaking and the ancient oaks all around us were falling on their sides.  No one said it, but we were all thinking it.  We were 60+ miles inland from NOLA. . .if it's this bad here. . .there might be nothing left to go home to.  As Katrina moved further inland we all sat around the radio quiet and listening.  That is when they said something I will NEVER forget.  The newscaster said in a broken voice "The levees have failed, the City of New Orleans is under water".  The grandparents were very very quiet.  They lived in the City not a suburb like the rest of us.  The reports were still patchy but it was clear that it was unbelievably bad.  And while no one had said it on the radio we all knew they were dancing around the subject of loss of life. . . how many people stayed. . .how many people didn't make it. 

Up until now we hadn't heard much about any place else other than Louisiana.  The first report we heard about Mississippi just about broke me.  Yes my city was flooded but they basically said NOTHING was left of the Mississippi Gulf Coast.  Where houses and businesses once stood, now there were only the foundations and scattered debris giving you a glimpse of the lives that were lived there.  The casinos were pretty much gone.  "It looked like a bomb went off."   They couldn't tell us  how much was left anywhere. . .what we might go home to. . .or if there was a home still there.  They were calling us all refugees.  Life along the gulf coast was forever changed. . .again.

10 years ago, still seems like yesterday - PART 1

This is long but interesting...at least I think it is.

So many things have changed in 10 years.  So many things haven't.  But the things that have changed are mostly for the good, I think.  We learned so much that day.  We learned that mother nature is a force to be reckoned with. That she is 100% capable of wiping us out without a second thought.  I am sure there will be a zillion posts about this anniversary and although I hate being a "follower" I will jump on the bandwagon, just this once. I never want to relive that day but I think it is important to remember everything that happened that lead us to this point.  I am not good with exact time frames but I can give you a round about time of the happenings in my world. 

I was 24, living with my long term boyfriend, in a house we bought earlier that year in a suburb of a suburb of a suburb of New Orleans (a bit rural but still a city, we have a Walmart, HELLO!).  I had just been laid off from my job and was in the midst of finding somewhere else to work while finishing my Master's Degree.  To say my life was upside down is a bit of an understatement.  The week of Katrina I had 3 interviews. One was VERY promising, he basically told me I had the job when I was leaving.  The entire week and a bit prior I'd been paying little attention to the news and happenings in the world but I made sure to know about the weather.  When you are from this area, you watch the weather during hurricane season.  I kept hearing about this storm and its potential development, etc etc etc.  The City of New Orleans had cried wolf (evacuate) before (Georges & Ivan come to mind) and the storm went somewhere else, so while I took the caution seriously, I wasn't very concerned.  When they said LEAVE the last two times, we left, but my gut said it was silly to do so and I was more annoyed than anything (especially sitting in traffic for ELEVEN hours just to get to Lafayette).  This storm was different and I told my boyfriend that.  I had a VERY bad feeling...I was actually scared.  I know people say in hindsight you say this but I swear, before anything happened...I just had the worst feeling in my gut.  As the days ticked down, I did what I always do, I prepared for a storm.  I bought water, canned food, batteries, candles, lanterns, dog/cat supplies, money, Rxs, etc.  We took the boards out of storage and put them in the front of the shed in case we needed to board the windows.  We went through the motions as we've all done many, many times before. 

I woke up a couple days before (I think) and thought I was hallucinating.  This had to be a bad dream.  This B**ch was basically a Cat 4, expected to get to a Cat 5 and pointed straight for Louisiana/Mississippi.  It took up almost the entire gulf.  I sat there gaping at the TV.  My boyfriend's work called him in to do emergency prep while I started prepping the house.  Thankfully at that time he mainly worked from home so it wasn't too bad.  I honestly don't remember when it happened exactly (could have been the same day, could have been the next...its all a blur) but I remember every television in my house going off and announcing an Emergency Statement.  Our parish was under a Mandatory Evacuation (1st time in History for this parish).   They were expecting a storm surge taller than my house, winds gusting well over 150 mph and driving rains...she was called a "doomsday storm" more than once.  The weather forecasters were so somber...they KNEW this was going to be extremely bad.   Before long there were police patrols in the streets repeating over and over, "Get out...we will not be able to help you if you stay."  We packed what we could, put the important stuff in the attic and prepared to go...north. 

I called my mom to make sure she was leaving.  She actually fought with me about having no where to go and said my grandparents were staying as well.  To say I lost my $hit is an understatement.  But none of them would budge.  All I kept hearing was "we stayed for Betsy and Camille, this will be fine." Finally my younger cousin called me FREAKING out.  She lived more north where she was in school, granted not REALLY north...not even Central LA but still North of us.  She told us to go to her place.  It was small but we were welcome.  Together we convinced (barely convinced) our family to heed the warning and get the F out!  I am not ashamed to say I used tears to get our Patriarch to listen.  By this point the wind had begun to blow a bit.  She was still well offshore but she was so big...it is the most disturbing feeling...you have the sun blazing and a nice breeze on a seemingly BEAUTIFUL summer day but there is nothing but the sound of people packing up their lives.  No birds, no animals, no bugs really...nature had left.  My two dogs were pacing paths in the grass and my cat was no where to be found, they were clearly nervous.  After boarding up the windows on our new home (can I tell you how creepy it is to be inside a boarded house!), we packed up what we could in our cars (including our pets) and headed to our state capitol. 

In honor of Shark Week...it's time for a story

It's Shark Week!!!  I love shark week...you'd think after like 20 years, I'd be sick of Shark Week but no way man...it's Shark Week.  And yes I know its been around for 27 years but there were some years at the beginning where I didn't have cable #iwaspoor so *pleeft*. 

Anyways, I don't have a shark encounter (thankfully) to share but I have a shark related story.  As noted in the past, I live in Southeast Louisiana (near NOLA).  We are quite literally surrounded by water...a virtual island if you include all the bayous and waterways.  Most people (at least 12 or so years ago most people) would say that unless you are in the Gulf of Mexico you aren't going to encounter a shark BUT the locals knew better.  We knew that Sharks inhabited Lake Pontchartrain, at least for part of the year.  When I was young there were always "stories" about sharks in the lake but "smart people" always seemed to want to refute it saying, "Uh no, it is fresh water and sharks like salt water" or something of that nature. 



So it became a sort of joke.  No one ever really proved it from what I recall but people always claimed they saw them.  Moving on to the story.  So 12 or so years ago my "friend" bought a speed boat, whoohoo!  A group of us would go riding in The Lake for fun almost every weekend.  We never got out the boat into the water (those stigmas about a polluted lake were still strong in our minds) for fear of growing an extra arm.  A few weeks after he bought the boat he got a tow line, an inner tube and a knee board.  To quote him, "it's time to have a little fun on the water" (he's a cajun through and through).  Now I am not one to shy away from Hydro-sliding (Knee Boarding) but in The Lake?!?! Nooooo thank you!

For a few weeks after the purchases he tried to get us to go in the water but we ALWAYS had an excuse...some of the guys went but most of us said "uh, maybe next time".   Then there was a sighting...someone saw a shark...it was on the Northshore maybe...never confirmed.  After that it wasn't just a "no thanks" but an "oh hell no!" 

One day (turning to evening) we'd all been drinking (not our skipper, he was sober...safety FIRST people!) and things got weird.  The boys were once again trying to convince us to play in the water.  To which I replied "Seriously?!?!  That is basically how Jaws begins!" They kept saying things like "it's totally safe.  Come on, live a little." One of my acquaintances said "I am not going in water where I can't see my legs under the surface!  That is just asking for lost limbs!" As time progressed we were probably out near The Sandbar I guess (just floating) and our rowdy crew was getting rowdier as the sun was setting...now I am no expert but aren't Dawn/Dusk considered prime hunting times for Sharks???  Anyway, we all had life vests on (we aren't that dumb) but that doesn't stop stupidity.  Well one guy who I will mention is no longer considered a friend of mine (mainly because I broke up with his friend) decided it would be HILARIOUS to throw me overboard.  After I screamed, shot lake water out my nose and caught my breath, I yelled "You f**king @$$hole, I'm basically a swimming chum bucket!" The GIRLS immediately dragged me back in the boat. 

Can I tell you the look of shock on all the boys faces (even my dumb@$$ boyfriend)....it took them all what seemed like hours to get it.  Finally one said (very condescendingly),  "you do know a chum bucket is basically pieces of fish tissue and blood." Um yea I do...THINK ABOUT IT!  Obviously I was not eaten by a shark and I am not even sure if that would have attracted a shark but it was dusk...I was "bleeding"...and I was thrashing around in the water...NOT GOOD!  I wasn't wearing a "plug", I had an issue at the time that prevented that...so I ended up with half of Lake Pontchartrain absorbed into my undies...thank you jerk face. 

I swear it was not long after where experts were like "Oh yea, by the way Bull Sharks are talented little f**kers...they can actually swim in brackish water...we are fairly certain that is what ventures into the lake." Oh f**king great!  Well at least I wasn't dinner for one of the most aggressive sharks out there *whew*.