Whatchu mean that's not your Natural Hair Color?!??!

You don't realize how unique we are until you are speaking with someone not from NOLA who has never been to Mardi Gras about things happening here. 

- saying I need to sign off early to get to the store before they close the roads

- saying i need to leave early because a float is stuck on the interstate and its a mess

- Explaining what "Deep Gras" is

- saying I am so excited to catch a shoe

    - Posting pics of said shoe and having people go "where did they buy that?!?!?"

        - Newsflash...they made them!!!

- Saying I need to find my tutu

- Saying I don't know which wig to wear tonight

    - Them Being shocked when I say I have more than one

- Saying I bought glitter from an 8 y/o who made her own glitter making business

- Saying we have to make a sign for our friends riding

- Trying to explain its a NEUTRAL GROUND!!!!!

    -also trying to explain why there is "beef" between Sidewalk Side and Neutral Ground Side

- Saying I need my ladder

- Trying to explain why Purple, Green and Gold do actually go together

- Trying to explain I probably get more steps during Mardi Gras than I do during a half. 

-Also trying to explain its a MARATHON.  this year its 8 straight days of parades and partying

    - My body will probably hate me Wednesday but it will be a good time. 

I'm sure there are more but I have so confused my poor co-workers. 

I'm really tired of being "part of historical events"!!!!

Okay so I know I went MIA but its been a wild month. 

We are alive (yay!!!).  We are YET AGAIN displaced (Boooooo!).  Do not start with the whole "you live in hurricane ally what did you expect" bull$hit.  Yes I know we live where hurricanes happen.  I hate it but there are natural disasters everywhere and we usually can at least, prepare.  

But there was no time this time.  Ida went from a "oh look a 'storm'" to "Holy $hit RUN!"

No lie.  I've said it many times.  I get gut feelings.  I know most people do but I am not one to overreact.  Anyways, I was only ever fearful of one storm.  There was only ONE that scared the beejesus out of me and I cried to get my grandfather to leave his house, and that was Katrina.  All the others in between I was like "meh".  

But this one was different.  The path, the concern of the meteorologists, the WARM gulf.  And it was quick.  There was no TIME.  We heard about her on a Monday as a "little" something headed to the gulf and by Friday you could see the fear everytime the weather came on. 

I did what I always do.  I prepped my house, prepped my customers, and got ready to hunker down.  But as the days went on I started getting scared.  Like legit terrified.  By the time Friday came around my nerves were shot.  Work had me frazzled and well so did the path and strength.  Every advisory it ticked more towards us and got way stronger.  The hubs and I kept saying we were staying but as the day went on we both became even more concerned.  We said we will make the decision tomorrow to leave.  

Saturday morning was grim. They weren't saying get out but they were.  It was strong.  It was coming for us.  We were on the "bad side".  Words like total devastation and loss of life were said but we were still a little further east of the biggest concern.  But every advisory was more and more concerning.  Around 9AM, I booked a last minute hotel in Florida just in case.

We waited until 10PM advisory Saturday night.  We had already prepped the house and packed up some bags.  At 10PM they said "your window to leave is almost closed.   This storm is showing no mercy."  They were now predicting a strong Cat 4, 140 MPH winds and she moved more East.  They were saying she could very well be stronger than that.  I got scared...like started shaking scared.  My gut said we have to leave.

So we packed the car, loaded the animals, secured the house as best we could, and went to leave.

*tick tick tick tick* no no no no *tick tick tick tick*.  I am at my wits end.  The car wont start.  I don't generally panic but I was on the verge.  We need to leave.  Every fiber of my being said we have to leave NOW!  But it wont turn over!!! I was about to lose it. 

Thank God, my tiny old car was able to jump our bigger vehicle so we could GTFO.  We left her behind and started our journey.  We barely spoke because we were so scared.  What if we break down on I10 and become a statistic?!?!!?  We had to stop to pee and let the pups out but were scared to turn off the car.  He ran from 11:30PM until 7:30AM!!!  

No it didn't take us that long to get there but we couldn't check in at first.    So we drove up and down beach hwy until the front office opened.  Check in wasn't until 4PM but when I walked in and the lady about crumbled.  She told me to come back at 7:30 and she'd have a room for me.  I must have looked a fright!  At that point I had been awake for over 24 hours and it's not like I slept well Friday night...

We tried to nap after checking in but our nerves were shot and we were passed the point of exhaustion.  We watched helplessly as Ida approached the coastline. We had been up for 36 hours before we finally crashed.  

Sleep wasn't long because my phone started blowing up.  We had friends and family still in the area that didn't leave.  We eventually lost contact.  It was the most harrowing 24 hours until we found everyone safe and mostly unscathed. 

She battered SE Louisiana for something like 15 hours.  My area  had 155 MPH sustained winds for I don't know how long.  I'm not on the coast...she STAYED strong WAAAAAAY far inland.  I watched my camera until the power went out.  Before it did I watched something slam into my car.  Ida had just made landfall....I wasn't sure what I was going home to.

Dammit Barry, I had plans this weekend!!!!

Living in the South we learn to deal with hurricanes.  We prepare, we "hunker down" (GAH!), we drink, and we clean up.  

Barry (also known as a mother f**ker) took his sweet @$$ time making his way here...freaking everyone the hell out with all that "30 inches of rain" bull$hit, only to go poof basically.  

Don't get me wrong...some $hit went down and people lost some belongings and my heart goes out to them.  In my area it was 3 days BEFORE landfall.  I'm not even sure it was part of the "storm".  But for all the crazy being shown on National TV you woulda thought ALL of Louisiana was under water *rolling eyes*.  So for my sanity (and because we all drank a lot being in doors for almost 3 days)....here are my fav memes from the storm that never really was. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the end know we are funny as hell down here.  We take $hit seriously but if we don't laugh we all go a lil cray cray.  *cheers*

That's bull$hit and you know it!

I waited a week to post anything but I just can't with these politicians anymore. 

'We're a city that floods, so deal with it.’ 

LINK

What?!?!?  You are the new Mayor of N.O.  I get that you probably inherited a $hitstorm but that is NOT how you win over the populous!!!

Backstory, we had 3-5 inches in less than an hour last Friday (1 week ago).  Streets flooded but I mean that's a lot of rain in a very short time.  We've always had MINOR street flooding when rain happens like that.  That is normal.  What isn't normal is MAJOR street flooding and it getting into homes/businesses for a f**king 2 hour rainstorm.

I have lived in this area my whole life.  I moved away for a few years but not far enough to not know what's going on.  WE ARE NOT A CITY THAT FLOODS!  The Vieux Carre DID NOT USED  TO FLOOD.  So what changed? 

Nothing changed...and that is the problem.  You can't neglect the infrastructure for decades and then act surprised when $hit doesn't work. 

When have we flooded (in homes etc) in the past:

1927 - Obvi before my time...Record flooding across 7 states....they blew a levee to save NOLA
1965 (Betsy) - I was not alive but there are rumors that a levee was intentionally broken
1995 - 18" of rain in a 24 hour period
2005 (Katrina) - The levees failed. A perfect storm of crap happened and the Levees which were SUBPAR f**king failed.
2005 (Rita) - They re-broke...
2017 (OMG it f**king rained) - It wasn't that bad of a storm....but people flooded
2011-2018 - Random Rainstorms have streets closed and people's cars/property flood

I'm sure there were other's maybe not as bad but these are the ones I know because I heard stories or lived through them.

In recent years nothing rainstorms cause concerns throughout the metropolitan area...last August everything came to a head.  That was the proverbial straw.  People are outraged.  After Katrina we got money from the federal government to help fix $hit.  There are ridiculous taxes in place to "keep up" with $hit.  We were told "'all pumps are operational,' and pumps were overwhelmed and couldn't keep up with the pace of the rain." Yet we find out last August that 14 of the city's 121 pumps at the city's 24 stations were not operational, including eight broken pumps and pumps down for scheduled maintenance. Six smaller "constant duty" pumps that regularly pump out groundwater also were down. And some turbines that power the stations were not functional. 

We have the equipment in place but its not been maintained properly.  They just did a HUGE drainage project on Bourbon and Bourbon still flooded last Friday.  Soooooo what exactly did they do?  Yea yea lots of rain, short time, but Bourbon didn't flood for Katrina.  The Quarter was basically DRY for Katrina.  So please explain to me WTF is happening?!?!?

I honestly don't know, I am not an engineer but I can assume the money was squandered and/or $hit was half-@$$ed.  Louisiana is known for corruption.  There is a reason we don't get the businesses here that other states get.  Its because its still good ol' boy politics down here.  "sure you can build your BILLION dollar business here but I want a piece for my pocket".  That isn't how it works...or it isn't how it should work. 

I know it costs a lot to fix but it needs to be done.  Had it been MAINTAINED over the years instead of neglected things would be easier to fix.  Like my friend said "Its like a house.  If you don't maintain your house over the years, eventually it will fall apart.  Same thing goes for the city.  You can't neglect mechanical parts and pipes for decades and act surprised when they don't work."

Rant Over!  F**k Off if you think the residents are that dumb.

It's not Mardi Gras, unless someone leaves with a bloody lip...

I swear I have a bead magnet on my FACE.  I'm not completely uncoordinated.  Clumsy, yes but I can catch things...especially if they are thrown at my FACE!

If you've ever attended a Mardi Gras parade you know what I am talking about.  Overly excited...possibly drunk, Krewe, throwing beads, cups, doubloons, frisbees, stuffed animals wrapped in beads, footballs, etc. off of moving vehicles IN THE DARK has the makings of "oops, sorry 'bout your face".

I usually manage to not lose an eye or get a bloody lip but do end up getting bruises or sprained fingers (especially if its cold).  But this year, I've made it to exactly TWO nights of parades (5 parades total) and have gotten a bloody lip AT BOTH.

One night, I blame it on the rain.  Yes, I was one of those dumb@$$e$ standing in the awful weather trying to catch a purse.  Not because I needed a purse but because we already had plans, I knew people riding, and decided f**k it, lets go.   The rain wasn't too hard but annoying none the less.  I had on a poncho so it was like wearing blinders.  I couldn't see up or to either side.  So its no surprise my luck ran out and something HIT ME IN THE MOUTH.  It was a tiny purse bracelet.  Its was super cute.  It made me BLEED. 

Some butthole in the crowd, saw it hit me, saw me bend over to get it, DOVE FOR IT almost knocking me over, snatched it, and ran off.  Um excuse me, that broke my face...its mine. 

My bottom lip was bloody but nothing too bad.

Night number two.  No rain *YAY*.  I was on a step ladder.  I couldn't see $hit.  I was holding my cup with my teeth trying to fix my shirt.  Something came out of no where and hit me square in the face.  I'm still not sure where it came from, I was looking at the f**king float.  Whatever it was cracked my cup and pushed it up.  This pushed the crack open and over my upper lip.  Blood started dripping immediately.  I removed the cup and bent over to get whatever the f**k just hit me and was under my step ladder.  This guy dove for it almost knocking me off my ladder, and started to walk away. This time I said, "HEY! You could at least tell me what busted my lip."

He looked embarrassed and handed it to me.  I gave him a bloody smile.  (sexy I know). 

It ended up being a cool scarf, headband, thing.  It was wrapped in plastic which is what busted my face...*ouch*.

So my personal opinion is if a throw "hurts" someone...they have earned said throw.  You pick that $hit up and hand it to them as a trophy.  That's what I do.  "Oh honey that looked painful, here's what slapped you in the face".  Where it proud!  Show that, whatever, who is boss!

Lucky Dogs for Lunch

I know its a couple days late but this weekend was soooooo much fun.  Wizard World was PACKED Saturday...P.A.C.K.E.D.  We saw Grinches and Doctors and Harley Quinns and Wolverines and and and.  And pick something the cosplays were on point.  Although I must say my absolute FAVORITE was a guy dressed as King Jaffe Joffer!!!  I don't have a pic bc  my phone was misbehaving something awful (stupid cracked screen!) BUT he looked like f**king James Earl Jones.  His cosplay was perfection. 

Oh if you don't know that would be the King from Coming to America....

A close second was Wolverine.  This guy was Logan and you can't convince me otherwise.

See...seeeeeeeeeeeee.  And he was very nice about everyone asking for pics. 

I will also mention the PLETHORA of f**king people dressed as Pennywise.  I have no pics because I basically beelined it away from them but the costumes were accurate...VERY accurate *shudder*.

Anyways, I was super stoked for my pic, right?   Right!  And can I just say David Tennant is like the nicest freaking person ever.  He was like hyper puppy excited the entire time.  He took pics Friday evening and twice Saturday with Autographs in there someplace and a panel.  And the energy never faltered. 

I took my pic during the first session Saturday.  I was probably the hundred and something person he saw and still just happy happy.  Like how do you do that?  I know its part of the job but it seemed 100% genuine. 

So anyways, here's my account.  I was in line forEVER but that's cool, I kept myself amused by people watching, of course!  I was wearing a t-shirt...one of these years I am going to dress up!  That is happening dammit!  Anyways, I was in a Star Wars/Doctor Who mash up shirt. 

So I finally get to the front of the line "yay"!!!!  He was friendly with everyone and all laughing and smiles.  It gets to my turn and I get a "point at" (Maybe a 'okay your turn'...maybe a 'nice shirt'...maybe a weird tick...no clue) and a crazy enthusiastic "Hellooooo, Good Morning!!!!" (I don't know how to type out a Scottish accent properly) and my response.. "Hello" with the biggest stupidest cheesy smile.  I am so f**king lame...hahahaha.  Then a 1, 2, 3 picture and you are off. 

Observations:
- where does he get his freaking energy?!?!
- JFC he is significantly taller than I realized...or I am just short...or both. 
- No really I fit under his armpit
- Seriously though, he had to lean over to put his arm around me
- He is so accommodating to fans
     - a couple had him do a gender reveal and he was crazy excited
     - some ladies had him hold a thing like he was crocheting and it was adorable

People always say don't meet your favorite whatevers because they never live up to your expectations but this was not the case for like the 3 seconds hahaha.  The panel was great too.  Again, INSANELY excited.  How does he do that?!?!?!

So all in all a crazy fun day!  Saw Stan Lee from a distance.  Saw Jason Momoa by being a creeper (shoosh). Side note - I knew he was tall but good lord he is a big guy!  Saw Rowena (Ruth Connell-Supernatural) just chilling in her Autograph booth.  Saw Thomas Ian Nicholas taking selfies and looking like he was having a great time.  The Fonz...the freaking FONZ (Henry Winkler) was there.  I didn't get to meet any of these people because that would have been crazy expensive but just seeing them was super cool!  Also, ran into Rob Kerkovich walking around (Sebastian-NCIS NOLA), told him hello but I didn't ask for a pic...because I am lame.  He is so super sweet! 
 
I love love love going to these.  Its so much fun.  Just being there, walking around, surrounded by other fans...just that its worth it.  Meeting/seeing your favorite celebs is Lagniappe. 

So now I have a pic with David & Jenna.  Who will I get to meet next time?!?!?!  Maybe I should venture away from Doctor Who....NAH!  Or maybe...depends on who is coming. 

Just some sights we saw (wish I had more of the cosplays...stupid phone!):

I was in line and couldn't get their attention

Cool set up at one of the booths WWTW 

Eeep

Baby

Let go Back....to the future!