What a pig...actually not a pig, that is an insult to pigs! *Creeper Alert*

I'm not sure if you know this but the place to pick up women is at the drug store.  Even if said women are 100% not interested. A quick flirt is one thing but this was RIDICULOUS!

I was pulling into a local drugstore when the door to the car in the next spot flew open.  I politely stopped to let them get out (they were backed into the spot).  The door closed, I pulled in and proceeded to collect my coupons to head inside.  It wasn't until I went to get out of my car that I saw the driver of the other car hovering in front of my on his phone.  "hmmm, odd".  But I thought nothing of it and got out (I should have realized then that he was a weirdo). He said "Hello!" and walked ahead of me, like he was waiting for me.  "Uh...hi", then he suddenly stopped and turned to look at me (CREEPY!). 

Maybe if he looked like this...nah

 

 

I stopped...he was wearing a sleeveless superhero shirt and board shorts with flip flops, about my age.  Nothing special, just a normal looking guy.  He was staring a hole through me!  I took a WIDE route around him so as not to get too close.  He LAUGHED and then followed me inside.  *thinking* "does he think I am flirting...why is that funny...its NOT funny, I am freaked out a bit!".  I did my shopping and went to get a snack for my office.  As I turned down the snack aisle, I literally ran into him.  The things I was holding fell to the floor.  He bent to pick them up (okay that was nice) but the whole time he was on the floor he was looking UP at me... I was EXTREMELY uncomfortable because he looked almost predatory (an I am about to devour you look) and I had a freaking dress on. 

He handed me my stuff, I said thanks and started to walk away.  He stopped me and said "I like your smile." Uhhhhh, thank...you... *bee line down the aisle*.  I heard him laugh again. WTF?!?  As I was checking out I felt someone walk up behind me.  Something lightly touched the back of my arm. *sigh, thinking* "Are you kidding me?!?" Okay at this point every red flag/siren/danger Will Robinson is going off in my head.  I glanced over my shoulder and guess who (OMG!).  He says "I just wanted to let you know I think you are really pretty." (still lightly touching my arm) *annoyed laugh* "Thanks....".  I turned back around and he LEANED forward (WTH, Personal Space!) and loudly whispered in my ear "I'd like to see you again." Okay that is it, should I become atomic biotch or just ignore him.  The cashier is looking like she is ready to kill him for me (she knows me, I am a regular customer).  I didn't turn around, I just held up my left hand and said "Sorry, married." The cashier laughed.  He said nothing and STAYED in my personal space, until I was done.  I felt like he was sniffing my hair but I think I was just being paranoid. I didn't use my PIN, I did signature because he was WAY too close to me.  Once done I practically ran out the store, almost running over a guy in a suit in the process. 

I'm about to become a statistic

As I was getting in my car I noticed his car was still running (Odd) but I couldn't see in (DARK tinted windows).  At this point I am thinking I am about to be kidnapped or something (I should stop watching Crime Dramas).  I wanted to leave before he came out (unsuccessful).  I backed out as he was getting into his car. He unabashedly STARED at me with this weirdo smile (like Norman Bates level creepy smile/stare). 

Not sorry, haha

He then got into the car where there was a female, I could see through the windshield.  WTF?!?!  Okay maybe it's his sister.   Then they started making out...not just a kiss/peck...borderline pornographic...okay still could be his sister, right...?  Time to make my exit!






I just...he was pretty much aggressive in his pursuit of me and he had a girlfriend/wife/f**k buddy waiting in the car.  Were they looking to add someone to their bedroom fun?  Or was he just a twat booger?  Or was there something else going on? Either way WHO DOES THAT AT A DRUGSTORE?!?!?!  I can understand a chance meeting, maybe (like romantic comedy style) but I was CLEARLY not interested and he kept on with is creepy self.  Completely unnerving!

I need to control my facial expressions or maybe others should learn how to be human!

Okay so I've been told since I was a wee wittle one that I am very expressive. I would put on a face to let people know I was not having any of their $hit.  My mom has always said that getting me to smile as a child was sometimes a challenge which cracks me up because these days I am usually all smiles, even when I am not feeling 100%.  I guess I learned that one as I grew up.  You know put on a happy face so no one will ask what is wrong.  Probably not the healthiest way to deal with things but I like to keep stuff to myself so yea.  So I have the open look where you know what I am thinking or I have the closed look where I could be feeling anything but on the outside you'd never know. 

But apparently as I get older my open facial expressions are more telling and more frequent.  So when before I used to wear a "mask" so to say and people didn't really know what I was thinking...today my thoughts are written all over my face.  I can still do the mask if I think about it but its become less of a habit. 

This my friend is a problem!  I work with face to face with clients fairly frequently and when they say dumb things I have to remind myself to not react.  It is almost torture.  Because I want to give the ultimate "bitch please" face but instead I just smile and say, "its not a problem" or whatever. 

So I must remember that my raised eyebrow, deer in the headlights look (its my surprise face but my boss calls it that),  sideways stare, expressionless "are you kidding me" look, eyebrows pulled together while staring people down and fake "hahaha, you are an idiot" laugh should probably be left at home only to be used in my personal life.  Otherwise I risk the chance of getting fussed at for being intolerable, inconsiderate, unprofessional or something of that nature.  I am not trying to be a jerk but other people are rude; unfortunately I work in high level customer service...I wish I could be rude right back but I cannot because then I am the "bad guy". 

But you know what if you say something inappropriate to me be prepared for my bitch face + sarcasm.  Go ahead and report me! My figure/my face/my clothing/my marital status/my whatever have NOTHING to do with why I am meeting with you.  You have no right to make me feel uncomfortable because you can't control your hormones!  That is something no one has to tolerate no matter what their position is. 

Let me clarify, I am not talking about someone saying I look nice today or I like your shoes/skirt/hair...I am talking about the oogy, look you up and down and make a lewd comment people.  Or the people who "get in trouble" for not doing their job so they complain about what you wear because "it is distracting".  Swear to God this happened!  I don't dress "sexy" for work.  I dress professional/trendy.  I am sorry but if you see some shoulder or some collarbone or some kneecap and can't think straight enough to work that is YOUR problem, not mine!  Quit looking at me as a sex object you creep! Yes this still happens.  I know some people try to say that this doesn't happen in the workplace/business setting anymore because of "laws" but I can tell you it most certainly DOES still happen and reporting it isn't easy because it is your word against theirs and honestly unless they are being touchy or aggressive it is not worth it (isn't that awful?!?!?!). 

So I use my bitch face, my sarcasm, my invisible armor and I make a mental note not to be alone with people who make me uncomfortable or I suggest we meet in a more public area instead of their office.  I protect myself because we all know I am the only one who really cares what happens to me.  All I need is another weirdo showing up at my office because they think we are whatever and then yelling at me because I don't return the feelings (yes this also happened...it wasn't a client but my "niceness" bit me in the ass). 

I think I'm losing patience in my 'old' age... :P

Is it true that the sheer act of having a penis makes you less intelligent?!?

I think it is true, personally!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay I guess I have to explain.

Last Friday I went to this Christmas party thing with a girl friend of mine. Well the guy from 1st, 1st Date in 4.5 years entry (aka, bad kisser) was there. I've seen him around here and there and we are cool. We had the lets be friends talk, like 2 months ago and everything has been fine since then.

Yea well evidently his "lil brain" overtook his brain and he forgot about that on Friday. You couldn't peel him off me with the jaws of life. I mean everywhere I turned he was right there. There was zero concern for personal space! Well about half way through the night he decides he is going to pick me up off of the ground. There is an action shot of it...he gets real close and I am thinking ok picture time, then he picks me up, like 3 feet off the ground :P I was not happy. Wait it gets better, he does it at least two more times throughout the night. The last time he did it I believe my exact words were "put me down M____ F____ or I will make it so you walk funny for a week!" Or something along those lines :P Not to long after that last incident we left.

But that wasn't the only thing. He kept getting really close to my face and hanging on me. Finally after worming my way away from him for the upteenth time I started poking and punching him in the gut. It didn't work. He started trying to tickle me (which I can hold that in quite well most of the time so he stopped fairly quickly)! Then he started tickeling my friend....WTF!?! It was a nightmare. THEN I am sitting on a bar stool (about 5 or so minutes after he picked me up the last time) and I feel hands on my waist...but not just on me...UNDER MY SHIRT! I almost died. I looked at my girl friend and was like, there are hands under my shirt...she was almost speechless. Soooo we left. Wait it gets better.

I got 6 texts the next day, one asking what I was up to on Sunday (I never replied). THEN I get this via social networking site:

"Okay, I was thinking about Friday night and why NOLAGurl was hitting me the entire night. And this is what I came up with. Back in the caveman days, they use to show their interest in the other person by hitting them because that was the only way they could communicate. And as the night went on and the bottles of alcohol were being consumed, the hitting continued even more which is another sign of the truth. Drunks, not saying you were drunk but drunks tend to tell the truth when the have been drinking.
So, what do u say to that? LOL"

I was going to reply with "Aw thats cute wishful thinking" but instead (I was in a horrible mood last night) I replied with "Actually where I come from hitting/punching usually means someone is pissed off because you are in their personal space and they want you to move. Also I was un-aware that the new adult way to let a girl know you like her is to repeatedly pick her up, even after she politely asks you to stop."

He didn't get the hint. I got a Voicemail this morning saying "Hey its ____ just wanted to say good morning!" OMG really?!? Ok I am outta ammo, any suggestions?