Would you drink/eat something that makes you a little sicker everyday...?

If not then why DO something that can cause health issues overtime?  We all know stress can make you VERY sick...right? 

Well so can holding a grudge...right?

The amount of energy it takes to stay pissed off at someone is ridiculous.  I mean I am not a forgive and forget person if someone seriously hurts me but I also am not a 15 years down the road kinda person either. 

If you hurt me...like REALLY hurt me, I will distance myself for my own sanity.  I do forgive quick usually but I don't forget and am cautious.  With that said if someone is TRULY sorry, and proves that to me over time, we are cool.    Will I trust them 100%...probably not but I get over things...I don't waste my energy on hatred. 

Where did this come from?  Well I have an acquaintance who cannot fathom how I can stand to be in the room with another acquaintance. 

Backstory:  In 10 years ago a close friend of mine went through a thing.  This thing brought all kinds of skeletons out of the closet.  During this "thing" I learned that my close friend had been lying to me about a lot of things for 8 years.  ONe lie, lead to another lie, and so on and so forth.  I was friends with their spouse, auntie to their children, we hung out all the time!!!  And the lie was stupid.  It wasn't necessary...had I been told the truth from Day 1, I wouldn't have batted an eye but the compounded lie destroyed my trust.  How can you blatantly lie to someone you call your sister everyday for 8 years?!?!?!

Moving on, it took years for me to feel comfortable speaking to this "friend" when we saw each other.  I wasn't mean or hateful, just uncomfortable.  But eventually I realized they were honestly remorseful about what happened.  Basically the lie was told before we were close and the more time that went by it never seemed like a good time to come clean for fear of losing relationships which happened anyway but whatever. 

With this said it has been 10 years!  I barely hold a grudge for 10 minutes much less 10 years!  I am not one to keep reminding someone of their f**k up.  If you acknowledge it and apologize its done. Which is why it baffles me that this other person thinks I should still be harping on this 10 years later.  I don't care.  The past is the past, we have moved on, why can't you?  While this did affect person A, they weren't THAT close to person B so why the continued hatred?  Is it on my behalf?  If so, please STOP!  Holding on to something like that cannot be good for you!

I don't understand...maybe I am too forgiving but I'd rather focus my energy on happy times than dwell on the negative. 

Just my ramblings...*ugh* why isn't it FRIDAY?!?!?!

You can't lie when it's in writing!!!

People are f**king stupid.  I hate liars.  I especially hate people who try to cover their own @$$es by throwing others under the bus.  F**k you b**ch I have it in writing.  And I will bury you if you f**king lie!

Just because you didn't CC your boss on your response that was 5.5 hours LATE doesn't mean I wont forward that email to said boss when he tries to blame me for your F**K up.  I am customer oriented and try not to get people in trouble but if you mess with me I will "loud cap" you via email.  If you don't want to look like a f**ktard in front of the 15 people you cc'd trying to make it look like my problem maybe you should do your job or at the very least take responsibility for YOUR f**k up.

Rant Over...I hate PEOPLE!

I don't think that means what you think that means.........

I hate shopping.  With a passion.  I mean I will do a girls trip or whatever but If you give me the option of "go to the mall" or "sit on my couch and order from Amazon", I am picking option two. The problem is option two means making sure things are ordered far enough in advance to get to me BEFORE Christmas. 

Also, browsing the mall rarely gets me ideas.  But browsing online, I seem to suddenly remember my possibly future sis in law LOVES Harry Potter therefore I should buy her something from the Harry Potter Universe.  So I found this super cool replica of Newt's scarf from Fantastic Beasts.  OMG she saw it four times in the theater...I think she'll love this!  Score it says "guaranteed before Christmas".

So I go through the whole process and am about to hit "submit order" when I notice some very small print.  "Should ship between December 29th and February 20th" Wait...what?!?  

But...but it said Guaranteed before Christmas... I mean are we talking about his possible real birthday because last I checked Christmas was not sometime between 12/29 & 2/20.....Did they mean 12:29AM and 2:20AM...like it'll ship tomorrow morning...?  I am so confused!!!!!!!!!

Well f**k you then....guess I'll find another PERFECT gift for her!

When you get to a certain age, the bitterness fairy descends upon you and makes you a horrible person!

That may sound mean and generalizing but lately it seems true.  Or maybe my family/extended family are a bunch of @$$holes that once we turn 60, feel the need to unleash the bottled up fury on unsuspecting persons. 

And by unsuspecting persons I mean me.  Now most of it wasn't directed at me so to say but the things I was told made me cringe.  Examples below (there was so much more but I wont bore you).

Old Person:, knows fully well I am working out, trying to lose some inches.  They say "Oh you've gained weight.  I mean look at your calves, they are at least twice the size they used to be.  Won't working out just make them bigger?  They shouldn't get bigger, then you'd look like a dyke"
Me: *stunned stare* A...a...a what?  That's not very nice and a wildly inappropriate term and no they are not twice their size nor will they get "bigger" *geesh*

Old Person: That "woman" *said with utter disdain* steals his money.  She's a golddigger, she NEVER wanted anything more than his money.  She came from nothing and leeches off of him.
Me: *developing a migraine* Are you sure?  I don't think that is accurate...they've been married for 20+ years and I distinctly remember her having a job and owning a home BEFORE...she was pretty independent. 
Old Person: You are so naive
Me: *screaming in my head* Wow...

Old Person: *speaking of my grandma from the other side of the family* Gertie would never allow that. She tried to control everything.
Me: Huh, you mean Gammie?  My grandmother?
Old Person: I KNOW your grandmother, her name is Gertie not Gammie. 
Me: What are you going on about?  I call her Gammie....
Old Person:  I coulda punched her in the face the first time we met *goes into a more than likely 
UNTRUE telling of a story I've never heard*
Me: Oh for the love of...That was before I was born...I am over 30...why does that even matter?
Old Person:  Because you speak highly of them and they are dirt
Me: *shaking with frustration* Woooooooooooooow....

Me: Look at this adorable picture of Uncle so and so's grand niece!
Old Person: Oh is that "HER" niece's daughter?
Me: Yes...
Old Person:  She's not very pretty
Me: That's ludicrous, she's gorgeous (and she's 6)
Old Person:  No, she isn't.  She is homely...ugly even
Me: That is an awful thing to say about a child!
Old Person:  She's not my family, doesn't matter
Me: *beating head on table* 

Old Person: Her husband is an alcoholic and has a gambling problem
Me: What? *getting concerned*  No he doesn't she would have told me if something was wrong.
Old Person:  He does.  He spends all their money and leaves nothing for her and the kids
Me: He works TWO jobs, that doesn't make any sense and he LOVES his kids AND wife
Old Person: He's not good enough for her.  He's a bad provider, you are so naive
Me: *jfc* Please don't spread that rumor...I don't think ANY of that is true.

Old Person:  Who was at the holiday dinner?
Me: Oh, the usual suspects.  Me, hubs, my brothers, their wives and kids.
Old Person: Step
Me: Huh? 
Old Person:  They are NOT your brothers.
Me: Um, yes they are
Old Person:  You have no relation to them except your father is married to THAT woman.
Me: *losing my cool* OMG! Look, "family don't end with blood", alright...and they've been married for almost 25 years!!!!

I just hate the anger, the rudeness, the BITTERNESS!  You have got to let some things go!  Just shoot me if I ever go down this path.  This is NO WAY to live.  Who wants to be in their golden years and absolutely HATE everyone.  Who the f**k holds onto grudges for over 20 years...30 years in some cases.  That CANNOT be good for your metal state.   Also, don't sit there and claim to be all religious.  You are NOT living like God taught us or whatever.  You covet your "neighbors" belongings, you hate everyone, you LIE all the time...you are NOT a good person, you are toxic and you just justified why I rarely visit!

Will I go back...yes, I have to because family and whatnot...do I want to...not really....will it be often...nope.

On a completely unrelated note - One of these persons is also a borderline hoarder...I swear I break out in hives every time I visit.  Who the f**k needs 8 boxes of creamer and 6 cases of cereal???  And no its not for a huge family...TWO PEOPLE...TWO!

It's like dealing with a 16 year old going through a breakup

Except said person is in fact a 50+ year old male and its a divorce.  I've witnessed many divorces unfortunately.  I've lived through my parents (I was VERY young) and sat by quietly as friends end their marriages.  I don't judge.  Sometimes, it just isn't going to work.  Sometimes it is the only option.  But it is NEVER okay to get ugly.  And 9 times out of 10 they are UGLY.  It is even worse when children are involved.

This one is no different.  There are lies and hurt and secrets and did I mention lies.  Divorce brings out your true colors or well brings the nastier ones to the surface.  It really does bring out the worst in people.  It is bad enough you "fell out of love" or whatever but why do you have to try to hurt each other more.  Why is it necessary to be mean just to make sure they aren't happier than you.  I am so different sometimes.  I've gone through bad breakups, one was very much like a marriage.  It had the potential to get REALLY ugly but somehow we didn't let it.  It wasn't unicorns pooping rainbows but we were mostly mindful of each others feelings. 

This is almost never how things work out.  What is hilarious to me is the person asking for the divorce seems to be the one that is usually so utterly mean.  The cheater or the one who sees greener grass or whatever, almost always is the one who gets so worked up and angry.  It's baffling, the only thing I can think of is it is their guilt bleeding through.  On some level they know whatever happened to make them want a divorce is their fault so they start lashing out.  What kills me is the one being attacked who has EVERY RIGHT to be angry and mean usually is just like "Okay, it's fine.  Whatever you want." They are so beat down and disappointed they don't have time to be an asshat.  Again not always the case but I've seen it more than not.

It also amazes me how different men and women are in a divorce.  While women do have a tendency to get VERY emotional, not all go Carrie Underwood on their ex's cars.  Just like not all men decide to sleep with everything that moves after they split up.  But I notice men do not seem to "heal" as fast.  While women many times end up with confidence problems, they have a support base (friends and family) that build it back up pretty quick but for men it is like their "pride" has been bruised so they act like dickwads to build it back up.  Newsflash not all women are deserving of your royal ass-ness so quit it.  And stop shaming your exes with the other divorced males in the vicinity of females.  One it is rude and two it is incredibly immature.  If you need to have a male bonding time make sure I can't hear you because now I want to nut punch you for being a twat booger.  Also blaring One less problem for all to hear is not helping us think you are "okay". We now think you are a bit emotionally distraught.   If you want to do that at home, more power to you but in public maybe tone it down a bit. 

I just find it hilarious how some revert back to teenage drama when breaking up.  Maybe I am  different and don't see the need to hurt someone who hurt me.  It may be painful but to me they have moved on, so why dwell on it longer than necessary.  It's their loss, right.  Plus I find the best "revenge" is to move on.  Nothing hurts more than knowing you f**ked up and now they are happy without you. 

No one likes being lied to...

...even if the truth stings, right?!?

I swear I wonder what people are thinking sometimes...especially the one I currently live with. We are completely broken up, its just us living there as roommates until we sell the house or I get a better offer and move out. Which it can be weird at times BUT for the most part we are fine.

So where is my rant coming from. I don't like being blatantly lied to and yelled at, it annoys me no matter who is doing it. You see my 'roommate' recently added unlimited texting on his phone. Now, I have been BEGGING for 2 years for him to do this because I couldn't text him without getting fussed because he had to pay .10 (now more) every time. Anyways, the texting started, then more and more phone calls and the "I'm going have drinks with Co-workers" line. I've ignored it whatever.

Now I am dating people don't get me wrong. It's just not as obvious because I've always gotten lots of texts, calls and gone out. So it's really not a change for me. Like I said I've been ignoring the lies. But last Thursday he called me on his way home from his parents and said he was stopping to pick up food. Well lately that means what do you want. So I asked where he was stopping. He stumbled over his words and said he was stopping soon and would be done eating before he got home and he didn't want my food to get cold. Um ok, I get it, you are meeting someone, thats OK (but I never said any of that, just OK). Then like I said he adds unlimited texting. Last night OMG. He was in a texting war with someone, obviously a girl. How do I know this because I am a texting queen as are most of my girl friends, plus you can just tell.

Well he said something not nice about my family and you just don't do that. So I hit him where it hurts. I started telling him he was obviously becoming a-sexual and should not attempt to reproduce. That we did not need to pass his genes along etc. I know I know not very mature but I don't care anymore, haha. Anyways I messed with him a little about the excessive texting and he kinda got offended. And insisted it was a co-worker. I was like ok, I am just messing with ya.

Well flash forward to today. I have a HOT date tonight...with my best friends cousin. So I am a little nervous. Anyways, I told him I was going out tonight. I never said with anyone or where. Well he gets online earlier and says, "what time are you going out?" So I said when I was leaving and he replied, "I can go out too. I am meeting my co-workers for drinks." I was like ok. Well like I said I am tired of the charade. I know his co-workers, they do NOT get along, unless its some new interns which good for him. So I replied "So, what's her name ;) haha, just messin'." Well this threw him into a frenzy. He said he doesn't want to be in a relationship, so he doesn't know why I would say that, blah blah blah....I was like dude chill it was a joke...

So of course to keep the peace I apologized and said, I didn't realize it was such a sore subject, I won't joke about it anymore. But that RIGHT there tells me he is going to meet a girl. People only freak when you catch them in a lie. Haha. Anyways, I said to have fun and he got insulted again. Dude I cannot win, he broke up with me, why is he flipping out??? I mean of course I am not comfortable with knowing he is dating but I am not crazy, we are not together, its expected. So anyways, hopefully my date goes well tonight ;) .