You can't NOT do your job and then complain that other people get more "perks" related to them actually working

I have to rant...ignore me while I waste my 10 minute break.

I just...while hopefully the job market bounces back MORE over here in the South people are still losing jobs or taking MAJOR pay cuts.  It's all related to the f**king price of oil.  Yes I know higher oil prices = higher PPG.  But there has to be a happy medium.  We went from $120 a barrel to $49.52, I think, last Thursday.  That is PAINFUL to all business who do anything related to oil & gas.

We work in an industry that works with this one (f**k me sideways) and its been rough.  So rough that we went from 20 people to a meager 6 in the office and 3 techs in the field.  But we are somehow hanging on.  The ones left have all been here many many years and should know the gravity of the situation here.

Apparently not.  Apparently a couple of so called "good employees" have decided that they are not expendable and therefore can do whatever the f**k they want.  Look I know the owner doesn't want to let anyone else go.  But we all know that the two idiots who aren't working only have enough work to fill maybe 3-4 hours a day...MAYBE.  Do I get slow...yes but 90% of the time I can fill a full 8+ hours with crap that needs to be done.

If you are smart and NEED your paycheck I would be doing everything in my f**king power to make myself look needed.  Meaning don't push your $hit off on everyone else (morons!).  Seriously, you should be flying under the radar not putting a bullseye on you!  Anyways, you are not my problem but when I am sitting here answering calls/emails about everything under the sun related to my position and some other crap you should be doing, I should not hear you bull$hitting in the common area. WTF?!?!

I may not be your boss but your boss listens to me.  And while I won't say anything (at least not right now), you should KNOW he isn't stupid.  He isn't blind.  He knows you don't do a f**king thing until he walks in at 10AM.  You know how I know?!?  He told me!  And he also danced around asking if I would be able to handle what you do in addition to what I do.  I've hinted this to you morons.  I straight up said, stop being stupid and do the f**king 3 hours of work you get paid 8 hours to do.  But no...noooooo.  I just heard you tw@t waffles talking about some upcoming vacations AND how much of a stoner one of your kids is (well isn't that special).  Meanwhile I am sitting here being yelled at because someone needs to talk to one of you and you aren't f**king answering the phone!

Whatever, you will realize...probably too late what is happening....I just hope I get a little more money to deal with your crap on top of mine.

Rant over...NOLAGurl out.

Want to make a woman go bat-crap crazy on you....tell her she is like her mother AFTER she just complained how bat-crap crazy her mother is....

I am basically chill.  Most things don't get to me.  I am not easily offended.  Everyone gets mad/irritated/upset but I usually handle it in a very mature manner.  But there are times.  Oh there are times when the stars align.  These are bad times.  It usually means I've absorbed too much bull$hit.  I am past full.  One more molecule of bull$hit and it will all come flying back out.  Usually at an unsuspecting person who, in their defense, is used to me being calm and collected not a raging bull. 

Okay so here is why I was "full":

1. I am sick, like got the crud from idiot co-workers who came to work with the Plague and touched all my stuff, oh AND coughed INTO my office without covering their mouths!!!!!

2.  For the past 15 months we have been watching Oil go into the $hitter.  Last month it tanked.  $25 per barrel, what the actual f**K?!!?!?  I mean it rebounded some but this is still bad.  We live in LA...an oil & gas state...people are being laid off...this is NO BUENO

3.  With that knowledge my sig other has STILL been pestering me about a new vehicle.  Well a used vehicle...new to him.  Because he "wants" it.  Oh yea, well I want all sorts of stuff...doesn't mean I am going to just buy them!  Look, I am nice to a point.  "I really don't think that's a wise decision".  "You wont be able to sell your vehicle for what is left on the note".  "Why get ANOTHER note when this one will be paid off in 1 year?!?!" "I might not have a JOB in a few months...".  "FFS just NO!"

4.  Same discussions were had at the end of LAST year regarding a gaming console (that is for both of us *rolling eyes*), a family trip to the most magical place on Earth, and an overpriced gym membership with a CONTRACT.  I nixed those ideas citing FAILING ECONOMY and potential job loss.  I was "vetoed".  And by vetoed I mean he bought them anyway even after I said, bad idea.  It was justified with bonuses, tax refunds, a more than likely promotion, and a but I really want ____.  Yes, lets spend money we don't have YET.  That whole working as a team thing in action *beating head on keyboard* jhakhdfkhsj.

5.  My female parental unit has been driving me up an ever loving wall with BS tech crap.  Look I get it...you weren't "raised" with computers....but NEITHER WAS I technically and I still figured them out.  So if you want my help STOP yelling at me when I try to help.

6. My office is in the process of selling EVERYTHING that we don't need and moving to a smaller location.  It has been "organized" chaos for 3 weeks. 

7.  I'm.a.girl

This is like the unholy aligning of everything awful.  I've managed so far.  I haven't lashed out.  I've taken everything in stride *whooosa*.  And then I broke.

Me: *sounding completely defeated* Can you please clean up the kitchen tonight, its your turn or something.
Other half: You aren't the only one who cleans the f**king kitchen
Me: Ummmmm, right...just asking and don't "curse at me"
Other half: Just saying, I'll do it later
*text notification*
Me: *sigh* why can't she just do what I tell her and not freak out in 1000 !!!!! because "she wasn't raised with computers"
Other half:  *silence* *staring at phone*
Me: Right  *goes to heat up dinner* *starts putting away dishes because I am in there so why the f**k not*
Me:  Can you feed the dogs?
Other half: *Silence*
Me: *starts feeding dogs*
Other half: *5 minutes later* I'm going to bring convict (dog) to see that vehicle.  *looks up* I said I'd do it!
Me: *with attitude* Really, didn't hear you say, well ANYTHING.  Plus, I was in here and I didn't want to "nag" you into actually helping out
Other half: *quietly* You sound like your mother
Me: *leans over sink trying to convince myself that throwing my dinner at him would be a bad idea and almost failing*

 *instead bursts into angry tears*
Other half: *doesn't notice* *comes in kitchen*  Why are you crying...?
Me: Go away, I've got it
Other half: I said I'd do it. Why are you crying???
Me: Please leave me alone
Other half: Stop.  Why...
Me: Of all the f**king things you could say to me, you say that?!!?!?
*chaos ensures* *confusion* *I was just jokings are said*
Other half: Well, that is something she would say

Me: I'm out...*has an anxiety attack in the bedroom*
*15 min later*
Other half: I'm going to check out that vehicle tomorrow
Me: *screaming in my head* Ya know what, whatever

I am very proud that I didn't throw anything because I REALLY WANTED TO.  I mean am I being too understanding...am I that hard to read...or is this just a case of "I want to do it, so I'm going to do it (or not do it), regardless of what MY SPOUSE says".  

P.S. We talked it out a little later and the vehicle is now off the table because "I don't want him to have it *rolling eyes*".  Still more to be discussed. We all have issues mine just all came to a head at one time.  Financial BS is the WORST, especially when only one of you seems to pay attention to the world outside of our little bubble.  3,000 people showed up to a New Costco where 300 jobs were being added.  THREE THOUSAND unemployed persons...most being overly highly qualified showed up to get jobs as cashiers and stockers (nothing wrong with those jobs, just pointing out how not normal that is).  Yes, lets buy unnecessary things right now, that's a great idea... 

Let it goooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

I feel like I need to be singing this to quite a few people these days.  Look no one likes to be wrong but I will fully admit "yo, my bad" if I make a mistake.  But for the love of...*argh*...stop harping on it. 

What REALLY annoys me is when people harp on something that wasn't even your mistake but somehow you got blamed for it.  Rather than be an ass and correct them all the time I just laugh and go haha, uh huh, okay *big cheesy smile*.  But if it has been over a year and you are still bent out of shape because of it and using humor to cover your apparent irritation, YOU have a problem!

It wasn't even my mess up.  It was a miscommunication between internal operations at their company.  Basically they (more than one person) took something I said and misconstrued it and then got fussed because of the mistake.  The 1st time it was mentioned was in a meeting with 7 people!!! And it was about 4 months after it happened.  *completely blindsided* I didn't even know there was a situation. Now they keep reminding me (and my boss and their boss) about it.  Like all jokey and funny but it is not funny.   Every time it is mentioned my boss is like, wow they are still holding on to that.  And I always re-explain that I didn't say that!  I was either misquoted or misunderstood but I did NOT say that.  My boss thankfully laughs and says I know.  But these other people that hear this stupid jibe don't know me and don't know the situation so they may think, "wow, this chick really messed up".  When they need something, they wont call me but call my boss.  Which then irritates my boss because I am supposed to be their go to contact.  I should be the 1st call and then if it needs to go higher it does.  How am I supposed to gain their confidence if they think I will eff it up from the get go?!?!? 

And the lack of confidence is based on something that 1.) happened over a year ago and 2.) wasn't entirely my mistake! Sooooo frustrating!!!

More than likely this person isn't doing it to be mean necessarily.  Honestly, if they knew how bad they are making me look I think they would stop but I really think they think they are being "cute" or "flirty" or "funny" by teasing me.  I just don't know how to address it and not look like a douche nozzle.  *le sigh*

I need to control my facial expressions or maybe others should learn how to be human!

Okay so I've been told since I was a wee wittle one that I am very expressive. I would put on a face to let people know I was not having any of their $hit.  My mom has always said that getting me to smile as a child was sometimes a challenge which cracks me up because these days I am usually all smiles, even when I am not feeling 100%.  I guess I learned that one as I grew up.  You know put on a happy face so no one will ask what is wrong.  Probably not the healthiest way to deal with things but I like to keep stuff to myself so yea.  So I have the open look where you know what I am thinking or I have the closed look where I could be feeling anything but on the outside you'd never know. 

But apparently as I get older my open facial expressions are more telling and more frequent.  So when before I used to wear a "mask" so to say and people didn't really know what I was thinking...today my thoughts are written all over my face.  I can still do the mask if I think about it but its become less of a habit. 

This my friend is a problem!  I work with face to face with clients fairly frequently and when they say dumb things I have to remind myself to not react.  It is almost torture.  Because I want to give the ultimate "bitch please" face but instead I just smile and say, "its not a problem" or whatever. 

So I must remember that my raised eyebrow, deer in the headlights look (its my surprise face but my boss calls it that),  sideways stare, expressionless "are you kidding me" look, eyebrows pulled together while staring people down and fake "hahaha, you are an idiot" laugh should probably be left at home only to be used in my personal life.  Otherwise I risk the chance of getting fussed at for being intolerable, inconsiderate, unprofessional or something of that nature.  I am not trying to be a jerk but other people are rude; unfortunately I work in high level customer service...I wish I could be rude right back but I cannot because then I am the "bad guy". 

But you know what if you say something inappropriate to me be prepared for my bitch face + sarcasm.  Go ahead and report me! My figure/my face/my clothing/my marital status/my whatever have NOTHING to do with why I am meeting with you.  You have no right to make me feel uncomfortable because you can't control your hormones!  That is something no one has to tolerate no matter what their position is. 

Let me clarify, I am not talking about someone saying I look nice today or I like your shoes/skirt/hair...I am talking about the oogy, look you up and down and make a lewd comment people.  Or the people who "get in trouble" for not doing their job so they complain about what you wear because "it is distracting".  Swear to God this happened!  I don't dress "sexy" for work.  I dress professional/trendy.  I am sorry but if you see some shoulder or some collarbone or some kneecap and can't think straight enough to work that is YOUR problem, not mine!  Quit looking at me as a sex object you creep! Yes this still happens.  I know some people try to say that this doesn't happen in the workplace/business setting anymore because of "laws" but I can tell you it most certainly DOES still happen and reporting it isn't easy because it is your word against theirs and honestly unless they are being touchy or aggressive it is not worth it (isn't that awful?!?!?!). 

So I use my bitch face, my sarcasm, my invisible armor and I make a mental note not to be alone with people who make me uncomfortable or I suggest we meet in a more public area instead of their office.  I protect myself because we all know I am the only one who really cares what happens to me.  All I need is another weirdo showing up at my office because they think we are whatever and then yelling at me because I don't return the feelings (yes this also happened...it wasn't a client but my "niceness" bit me in the ass). 

Our world has gone to $**t...

I mean aside from the violence, lack of morals and just the all around careless attitude people seem to have. Please tell me when it got so bad. I am not that old but I remember when having an education meant that employers wanted to hire you. . . That going back to school to better yourself got you a raise and significant praise. . . That being an experienced professional meant you were a prized commodity. . . But that no longer seems to be the case. I have a masters degree and although I love my job I am looking to move along. But instead of employers wanting my education and experience they tell me I am over qualified and they cannot afford me. This is before we even discuss salary, hell its even before an interview!!! How do they know I won't fit or won't be at a reasonable salary?

To top it off I have friends and family that have been let go because they "cost" too much. As in we can hire a just out of school kid with no experience for 1/2 the cost. The problem is the inexperience privileged 'kids' don't know the first thing about being a professional. They have no work ethic and want to make the big bucks without raising a finger to do any real work. These are people my age. . . The difference is my parents MADE me work, they forced me to learn and become the professional I am. They pushed me to expand my education. Which now seems to be hurting more then helping me.

Then you have my husband. He's been with a company for less than a year. He's getting an advanced degree in his spare time and he's never been trained at his company. What happened. . . They decided they wouldnt be able to afford him once he finished his degree and let him go; and hired a barely out of college know nothing to be the secretary and collect monies and well just sit there and look pretty. Oh did I mention she is the GM's kid, even better. How is this person going to do any better than him and he hasn't even gotten the degree yet and they already think him too 'expensive'.

I ask again. . .when did this happen. There is no loyalty in business, no respect, no level of any professionalism. Our world is going to hell in a hand basket and big business is the one holding the rope lowering us down to our doom.

Hyp.....per.....vent....il.....a....ting....

*breathe, breathe*

Ok so its not one huge thing but all these little things are starting to make me a certifiable crazy person. Where to start . . .

1. Car issues. If you are confused please go back and read recent posts about my adventures with Chrissy & Mike (fiance's vehicle). We are ok (for now) Shhhh don't say anything too loud, I think she can hear me. . .

2. I'm getting married. . .like soon o_O. Which at the beginning was very smooth and easy. These last few months have tested my patience. I am a VERY laid back person. I usually take others opinions and advice and figure out what I want to do. I'm non- confrontational and if you have a better idea than me, I can accept that. So what I am saying is people aren't used to me having a STRONG opinion. . . much less saying, No. Well its our wedding and we have an idea of how we want things to look and be. Well apparently we are wrong and that's NOT what we want. . . who knew I didn't know what I wanted. Long story short, I pissed off many people by sticking to what I want and not what they want and saying, "no sorry we want ____". My dad is 100% supportive of, "this is our wedding and we can do what we want" (nothing tacky). Just because you like something, doesn't mean it is something I like or picture in my wedding. It doesn't mean its not nice/pretty/a good idea BUT its not ME. I am not preppy (not by any means) so doing anything preppy would not scream NOLA Girl. . . it would seem fake. So I am having a lot of you shouldn't do this, you just CAN'T do that, etc. I had few upturned noses at my color choice for my Bridesmaids. . . its deep purple. . . WTH is wrong with deep purple?! Its not like hot pink or electric blue .. .Anyways in the midst of all my 'decision making' I am pretty sure my nephew was pulled from the wedding and some other important peeps are not participating as much as before (like not coming to events and not having good excuses). The budget got way outta control which I am confused because last I checked we were under so WTH was added????? Its not all my fam either...just saying. Me and my fiance are so NON DRAMATIC so this is really testing our patience.

3. I'm going to Vegas!!!!!!!! For another wedding. . . right before mine. . . which is soooooooooooooo exciting but just means I have that much more to do. Oye Vey.

4. I still haven't sold this STUPID house so I am STILL linked to my ex via this STUPID house. Now I am stressing out because come wedding day new husband is moving in with me come hell or high water and I cannot pin down my ex to explain this to him and why I cannot be tied to him any more!!!!! I was REALLY hoping it would sell before the wedding. But contrary to the media. The housing market still SUCKS! People are making offers. . . but they are offering $10,000 LESS than what I still owe. Sorry I am not taking a loss . . . that is DUMB! So as of today its not sold :( And I know its not just me. I have 4 friends that are selling houses in different areas and none can get a bite. . .so depressing.

5. Job DRAMA! Mine is always drama but its tolerable. . .usually. Its depressing now because a few months back we got rid of 4 people and we had 1/3 of our customers pulled from us because of new laws, etc. So we shrunk and cannot add much new business easily so its scarey. Again contrary to the 'media' the economy is NOT recovering. Business is FAILING, prices are rising and just living costs so much its not even funny. So its constantly in the back of my mind I will show up one day and the doors will be boarded up with a sign that says "out of business". Or that they'll decide I am no longer needed because they need to cut back more. . . I'm so nervous all the time! Then my fiance's job is taking a toll on him. He has a boss that doesn't always take the professional route. I mean he was called an "oversized paperweight" and they keep threatening him . . . and said boss walks in and screams at him in front of everyone . . .insulting his intelligence and just being a bully almost. But he was never really trained on how to do anything so if he's not doing something its because he was not aware that he was supposed to be doing it. Regardless you should NEVER do that. . . its so unprofessional. Plus other people mess up MUCH worse than him but they always target him. . . its almost like they are trying to pin something on him. Its really stressful for him and me because we don't know when the hammer will drop, ya know. Ugh, I hate drama!

So that's my rant. Its nothing huge . . .yet but its enough to stress me the heck out!