Yo f**k that Guy....girl...@$$hole

 I am so over everything.  I went to a party (yay).  It was an early party and we had plans for after.  

On our way out... we get to our car...and someone had hit it. 

Not just a ding or scratch....like RIPPED THE FRONT BUMPER OFF and messed up the wheel.  

OF COURSE they didn't leave a note... that would be too kind.  

So now we are down a car, because while drivable its pulling hard to the right AND the bumper is dragging. 

Does this start over the 3 or is this one included with the other accident?!!?!?

I can't take anything else.  

I didn't know that could happen!!!!

So to go back to my previous post.  I found out very quickly my TMJ was in fact NOT due to teeth grinding.  I did NOT know that one could get TMJ from a car accident. 

Turns out my random development of TMJ is directly related to my getting rammed into at 50 MPH or however fast he was going. 

So EFF ME because this $hit can last from a couple weeks to a couple years.... AHHHHHHH

My super power is injuring myself in my sleep

So it's been a couple weeks and still no police report from the wreck.  I don't know why but its freaking me the eff out!!!!  I know holidays, etc but still.  

Work has been A LOT.  Like yes its "slower" since Thanksgiving but so much is going on.  Contracts are changing, job duties are changing, my counterpart got promoted which I am super happy for him but like I am getting a newbie on all my accounts and it terrifies me!!!!  I got lucky with him.  I was super scared when he took over because his predecessor was my friend for a LOOOONG time and knew the accounts backwards and forwards.  

But again he deserves all the things, I'm just in panic mode because things are so weird with a few of the contracts.  Then my other counterpart got promoted which again AWESOME but it's just a lot of change and the peeps I depend on are getting new duties.  Its just so much change....good change but I have too much going on and am just trying to not drown.  

My car is being a B....she is functional at the moment but randomly has a battery drain and I really don't want to deal with this right now!!!!!!!

One of our bathrooms is being a Tw@t and has been since before Thanksgiving, but I don't want to call a plumber because again.... TOO MUCH GOING ON!

On top of all this my mother makes me worry about her well being daily (a story for another day), the cost of everything has gone up exponentially & my paycheck doesn't go as far, and my cat randomly got the $hits & stopped eating (she's fine now). 

So in true me fashion, I shoulder it all and don't complain.  DO NOT DO THIS! I woke up Saturday morning because I was in extraordinary pain. Like I ran a half and and got punched in the face at the end.  I went about my day cleaning and went to a friends for dinner.  As the day progressed my face hurt.  Like the whole right side.  I was convinced I had a toothache in the newly refilled tooth.  I got orajel and got home and did a cold compress.  That's when I realized the pain wasn't my tooth, I could chew just fine...it was my jaw.  Like the most INTENSE ache in the joint and from the back to the front under my teeth.  

I thought my jaw was going to lock up it hurt so bad.  Heat felt better than cold so I did that, I took some Ibuprofen and went to bed.  I wake up whimpering at like 4AM. That's when I realized, I was clenching my teeth together.  That's right...for I don't know how long, I have been clenching/grinding my teeth in my sleep to the point where my new filling is so sensitive it almost hurts and my jaw feels like I was punched.  

So I have effectively given myself TMJ due to pent up stress.  I ordered a f**king bite guard so I don't injure myself further.  My dentist said if it doesn't go away or gets worse to come in but he thinks the guard will help.  Oh and I should try to destress.  Cool cool... I'll get right on that.  

That was my three, right??!!?

 I am so over things.  They always happen in 3's right.....right!?  

1. My dentist redid an old silver filling.  Nothing was wrong with it...it wasn't bothering me...but it was like 20+ years old. It went fine.  But ever since it's been STUPIDLY sensitive to cold.  Like that kind of shocking pain that makes your eyes go all psycho.  But doesn't hurt otherwise.  I asked because I thought something was horribly wrong!!!  I was told its normal....it happens...and it can take MONTHS to go away. And to try sensodyne. WTAF?!?!?!?!?  So now every time I drink or eat something cold I look like I have a tick.  

2. I had a premonition a little too late.  I was on a trip.  I was driving in a city I don't normally drive in.  As I was driving there were like 7 accidents on the freaking interstate.  Someone cut me off and I slowed down alot and turned off the podcast I had on.  I felt super uneasy and I said out loud "F**king crazy people, I need to really focus, I don't want to be another wreck on the road."   Literally not 5 minutes later traffic ahead of me stopped, I stopped...a car slammed into the back of me going VERY fast. So fast that my foot slipped off the brake and my arm pulled the wheel to the left.  The impact threw me about 10 feet forward into another vehicle.  This is a nightmare of an interstate, its like 7 lanes and NO ONE was slowing down to let us get off the f**king road.  I was terrified, shaking, calling 911, ya know usual accident $hit.  I was yelled at by a cop who was like "get off the road" and I was like (super nice) "I'd love to but no one will let me and I don't want to wreck again!!!"  Somehow...by some f**king miracle, I am ok.  I was sore for about a week but each day it got better.  I had a gnarly bruise on my thigh (WTF?!?!), a bruised knee (assuming from the dash), and a super tender Abdomen and chest (seatbelt).  I have no idea how the airbag didn't deploy but it didn't and I am SO GRATEFUL because I feel like that would have messed up my face so bad!

3. I got home from my trip sore and scared.  I was just so glad to be in my safe space.  That night I got up to get some water.  I didn't turn the big lights on because I have a nightlight in the living room.  Mind you I am still VERY sore but functional.  As I am walking in the dark, I step on a huge rubber dog toy.  I stepped on it just right so that my feet tangled together and I couldn't get my balance.  I threw my cup and landed HARD on the tile floor.  I was in such shock. I just didn't move because I wasn't sure what I hurt.  So I am curled up in the fetal position...on the floor....hair over my face...in the dark when the light flips on and I hear "uhhhhh are you ok.....?"  And I said "yep...I'm just gonna lay on the floor for a bit" and I heard..."okaaaaay..." and the light went off, hahaha.   I hit both my knees (yay more bruises!!!!), twisted my left ankle, landed on my right shoulder, and clanked the $hit out of my teeth.  Somehow I managed to not smack my face on the floor, so I've got that going for me.  

So like do I need to do a blood sacrifice or can I just light a candle?

I don't drive as much as I used to but holy crap other drivers are just as bad or possibly even worse!

The other night I was driving back to my temporary home very late.  It was dark and a little misty/humid but mostly a clear night. As I was approaching my exit I noticed a car weaving in and out of lanes a decent ways behind me.  I remember thinking, "what a moron!" as I pulled over into the exit lane.  The exit was backed up a bit so I was completely stopped.  I heard squealing tires and glanced up just in time to see a dark mass flying towards me.  It took a split second for my brain to process that the dark mass was in fact a car skidding sideways down the interstate and it was going to hit me.  All I could think was "oh $hit, this is gonna hurt".  I managed to kickstart my brain enough to cut the wheel towards the shoulder and gun it.  It all happened so quick but somehow the skidding car managed to regain control and missed me by mear millimeters.  She slowly went past me at about 5 mph and looked terrified.  I on the other had was wondering where the screaming was coming from and who $hit my pants. 

After I had a few sips of Whiskey and managed to finally get my heart rate below 150 bpm I began thinking.  She missed me by a HAIR!  Had I not managed to move the car ever so slightly to the shoulder I would have been CREAMED by a car flying sideways at about 70 MPH and I was at a complete stop.   

Exactly three days later in a steady rain I went to buy a last minute gift at lunch.  We are having our normal southern winter where it's either humid and 90 degrees or raining and 40 degrees.  It's super fun.  At least it's not snow/ice!  As I was driving in the RAIN, going the speed limit, I noticed some @$$hole tailing me.  I couldn't go anywhere but they insisted on just riding my @$$.  I couldn't see their headlights but could plainly see a giant Trump Flag & American flag flying above the roof.  Unfortunately they were also turning so they were tailing me into the shopping center.  When it opened to two lanes they gunned it passed me.  

They immediately lost control of their jeep, swerving into my lane. We were going maybe 30mph....I managed to slow down as I watched this jeep barely miss my front bumper, over-correct, and completely spin out.  

They ended up doing multiple doughnuts in the road and flying off into the grass.  Mind you there were other cars, signs, & posts everywhere, yet somehow this @$$hat managed to not hit anything.  The wheels rutted into the grass, yet again the lucky bastard didn't flip.  They were stuck but thankfully didn't hurt themselves or anyone else.  

In a few days I was almost clobbered twice by a reckless driver.  I feel like I should just stay home.  

STOP DRINKING & DRIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was all ready to make a funny/fun/silly Mardi Gras post but that will have to wait....

For f**ks sake people there are other options.  I know a lot of people have done it...I know its stupid.  I know sometimes people don't realize how impaired they are until after they are driving.  I know sometimes friends aren't there to stop you!  I know $hit happens! I know! 

But there are so many more options these days than EVER.  You've always been able to call a friend.  Back in the day if you had cash, call a cab.  Or f**king walk!  But now there is Uber & Lyft and Cabs take CCs.  Or stay where you are and sleep it off.  Meaning you have NO EXCUSE! 

Not only do you endanger yourself, but you run the risk of KILLING SOMEONE ELSE in the process.  Mardi Gras is a time of partying.  This has been the case for YEARS.  But in the past TWO days I've gotten news alerts about FIVE accidents caused by an "impaired" driver and not all were in NOLA.  Not to mention my friend's son was involved in a hit and run with a DRUNK DRIVER just before the parade insanity started.  That Mo-fo t-boned him, backed up, and f**king took off!  I'm not even sure how his truck was still drive-able but whatever.  The son was okay (Thank GOD!) but pretty beat up and bleeding everywhere. 

I was down the street from the Endymion fiasco.  If you don't know some f**k nugget who was HEAVILY intoxicated drove his truck into the parade crowd injuring more than 30 people and sending 21 to the hospital.  Thankfully no one died but some are hurt and hurt bad.  Not sure how only one child was struck...that area is FULL of families...honestly that is a miracle and he only had minor injuries.  This guy is 25...he has messed up his entire life.  There is no scenario where he doesn't have a serious mark on his record and probably prison.  He is claiming he "accepted a drink" from a stranger on the street and doesn't remember anything else.  Sorry buddy that isn't really an excuse.  One don't take drinks from strangers and two DON'T DRIVE!  Now if his blood screen comes back with a roofie in it, okay I'll give you a little sympathy BUT your blood alcohol 2 hours after the accident was still three times the legal limit.....sooooooooo something doesn't add up.  I've been drugged before (unfortunately)...I didn't keep drinking...I think I had half a drink total and couldn't function anymore ...and I know others (unfortunately) that said the same thing...they didn't drink anything else after they were drugged...so this makes no sense to me but I am not an expert so who knows.  

In another incident a CHILD was killed on I10 because of an impaired driver and in another a woman in the vehicle with an impaired driver died after the vehicle flipped.  

Don't be scared to stand up to an intoxicated person who is trying to leave.  Take their keys and walk away.  If they somehow get in the car, DO NOT GET IN.  I've done it.  I've taken keys.  I've refused to get in a car.  Its hard! Your friend/family gets mad...sometimes very mean but its the right decision.  If something happens and you don't at least try you will feel guilty.  It isn't your fault but you will feel like you should have done something more.  It sucks... It is much easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.   And the next day you usually get an apology and a thank you...usually...some people are @$$holes...you don't need them...trust me but you still did the right thing.

It isn't worth it!  Please...please I beg you stop this.  And its all ages doing it..not just "young people".  I think one of the incidents was a 50+ y/o, so you can't blame just one generation.  No one wants to get a call/knock at the door saying their child/spouse/parent/sibling/friend/whatever was injured or killed in a crash.......accidents happen without impairment but these types...these are preventable.

Rant over, NOLA Gurl out....now lets go enjoy the rest of Mardi Gras, hopefully with no more craziness!

It's amazing what can trigger buried memories & emotions

I don't know if these could be considered PTSD but they weren't fun. 

Example 1:
When I was a teenager I was in a car wreck.  A bad car wreck.  A wreck where you looked at the vehicle and wondered how anyone much less all four passengers survived with minor injuries.  I had zero memory of the actual wreck.  I hit my head extremely hard, breaking the back window and cutting my scalp.  I don't remember much until a few hours later in the ER.  About a month or so after said wreck I went with my BFFs to see "I know what you did last summer".  There is a scene at the beginning where they hit the guy.  There was glass breaking, metal crunching and squealing tires.  I freaked out.  I had a panic attack in the movie theater and started crying.  Those sounds triggered my memory of the night.  After I remembered everything I was terrified of riding in the backseat, especially the drivers side.  As the years passed the fear diminished and eventually mostly went away all together.  I still get antsy when riding in the back but I can control it.  But to this day when I hear and/or see a wreck whether in person or in a TV Show/Movie my breathing speeds up, my heart starts pounding and I have to talk myself down.  Its not debilitating like it once was but it still exists 18 years later. 

Example 2:
So its been 8 years since my stupid ex did stupid things.  I'm over it, he's over it.  We are amicable.  We aren't friends so to say but there is no more bad blood.  I recently realized I avoid certain movies/tv shows because of the stupid things that happened .  Especially ones that are based around cheating and/or breaking up.  I didn't realize I was doing it.  I am happily married to an amazing man why would this still bother me?  My only conclusion is because deep down that whole situation really f**ked up head and I am "secretly" terrified it will happen again. 

I didn't even know I felt this way until Tuesday.  Tuesday was NCIS day.  I watch NCIS, I like NCIS.  I adore Bishop and her cutesy relationship with her hubby.  They seem to go together so well.  She is so understanding of him.  He is going through a hard time.  She voices this to him, how she knows he is in a difficult place but she is there for him.  He blurts out hes f**king his co-worker.  Bishop walks out...she seems numb.  Meanwhile I am literally a blubbering mess on my couch.  All of that stupid hurt and pain came flooding back in.  I could relate to Bishop.  I was the understanding fiance and *blam* he blurts out he has "feelings" for another girl.  He swore nothing happened...but the story changed over time.  It sucked...I NEVER want to ever experience that again.  Which I am assuming that is why that scene triggered such a crazy emotional response from me.