That almost seems like a line in the sand

That’s it…I am so over people!  I don’t get it…. But I will respect it because I am not a complete psycho. 

So I think it happened.  I think I have officially “lost” another friend.  There were a few acting a fool a while back….I thought all was good but I guess I should know by now some persons of the opposite gender are incapable or unable to be friends.  

Again, I have a BUNCH of guy friends.  Completely platonic, male friends.  We are all friends with each other and in many cases each other’s spouses. 

Everything has been okie dokie artichokie so I thought we were past the weirdness but alas I was incorrect. 

I try very very hard not to read into things.  Mainly because it’s exhausting and generally I’d prefer people be DIRECT.  But sometimes you get a vibe and just KNOW something is up. 

So I got a message the other day.  Not a mean message but a message none the less and it was odd.  It was ridiculously “formal” and unlike our normal bantering messages.  At first I was like all good we all have stuff going on during the day.  So I said cool, thanks, and whatnot and went on with my day.  

But later I saw it again and was like WTF.  It’s no longer “hey friend or hey bestie” its just hello or Hi. Or the weirdest is my actual full name, not like my nickname.  Again tried not to read into it.  

But then I made a comment about Not sure if you saw my pic or not and I got the “I don’t think I should like or comment on your pictures.”  Ummmm I’m sorry what?  

1. That’s fine I was just asking did you see it

2. Why did you tell me that?

3. WTF happened now!?!?

Also, I don’t think we can “hang out” or meet up  Which again we live fairly far apart sooooo it’s unlikely but what on earth happened.  Like please please please don’t tell me you think I was like hitting on you because I am friendly and like pack bond with everyone (not in an oogy way, I am stupidly loyal to peeps I click with).   You know (and can see) I have it pretty dang good and actually love my hubs and would NEVER. 

AND I have way too much respect for you and your spouse.  Like do you even know me?!?!?!  I mean I guess it could be a jealously thing.  but like 1. Not a cheater 2. Not my type 3. Did I mention, Not into the whole cheating thing?!?!?

Or maybe we got too close?  But like how….we don’t even live in the same f**king state. Like they thought we crossed a line of closeness…?  But again,…JUST FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!  And our messages weren’t scandalous…they were generally non-sense and gifs!

So anyways, I doubt we’ll be bantering and hanging out ever again so that blows because we were actually kinda close but hopefully some semblance of our friendship is salvaged. 

Friendship is a gift…I really wish people would cherish and have more respect for it!!!

I don't like you like that!

Ugh!  Why people gotta make $hit complicated.  I am not complex.  If we click we friends.  I am capable of being friends with people of all varieties.   I don't care what you look like, your gender, your sexual preferences, etc.  If we click we click dammit!

And just because we click doesn't mean it has to be sexual!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!  Can I just tell you how many guy friends I've lost because they either can't look past the sexual attraction aspect OR their sig others are like "oh nah ah you can't be friends with a female!"  I am not like that.  Maybe I am naive but I am not gonna be like "you can't talk to your bestie because she's female."  Now if you are always texting her and not coming home, I'ma have an issue but having a bestie of the opposite sex isn't a threat to me.  

Moving on!  I have a new-ish male I consider a long distance bestie.  We've known each other maybe a year and half but we are basically the same person.  We think alike, we like the same things, and have the same dark sense of humor.  He is married, I am married...we have hung out in person a few times and we have NEVER looked at each other more than literal friends.  It's so awesome.  Like we just click.  

Anyways something changed and now I want to punch babies.  We were in person hanging out (with multiple other persons) but our spouses weren't there.  That night was stupid fun.  We laughed so much!  We were picking on each other, cracking jokes, and having an all around fun time.  We learned more about each others pasts and it was really freaking awesome!

The next day we are doing stuff and my guy FRIEND is being f**king weird.  Like weird weird.  Like he's about to jump out of his damn skin.  Bruh WTF?!?!  At one point we brushed arms in passing and he couldn't form a sentence and left the room. Like to the point that one of the other girls is like "um what's his deal?!?!"  

Later that night we go out again for dinner and he's like visibly uncomfortable.  So OF COURSE me the fixer is like pouring on the me charm like trying to make him as comfortable as possible and he seems to chill (Thank God!!!).  We start joking and talking and having fun.  After dinner he's like lets go get a drink. K cool yes.  So we think he's all good now.  

He goes to sit next to me and then like jumps up and practically runs to the seat across from me "WTAF".  So we order some beverages and try to talk but its super loud and he's across from us like a little too far to hear.  He's laughing at the rest of us because we are f**king funny when he gets a call.  He comes back in and has SHUT DOWN.  

The waitress comes back and he's like check please.  It was 7:30!!!! Ummmm what.is.happening??!?!

So we leave and me and another chick are like Da Fuq and are making jokes because that's what we do when our FRIENDS are being sticks in the mud.  Her and I end up going for more libations and he left.  But I was legit concerned I did or said something so I texted him to be like you ok and he was like yea of course we are fine! I could never be upset with you.

I AM MORE CONFUSED!!!!

The next day he's still being weird to the point where we were RAGGING on him because tell us what is wrong man!!!! Now granted when we parted ways he gave me the sweetest hug and was texting all of us later that night.  

For a few days communication was super weird.  Like he didn't know how to act with me and I was like OMG please dont do this!!! I don't want to lose another "friend" because you think I was hitting on you or am gonna try & sleep with you or you think you like me more than you should or something. 

Then suddenly all seems to be fine...I think.  But WTAF happened ?!!!?!?  Did he get inside his own head??!?!  Was he overthinking something we said or did!?!?!?  I try not to be an overthinker but like curiosity is killing me!!!  

I'm not gonna ask because he'll probably get weird again but like AHHHHHHHHHHH!

**UPDATE** I told my BFF (since we were like 5) the story and she thinks he either was overthinking how close we got or his sig other was like "who dis Bish?!?!"  Or I was "safe" until we were in person.  Like I am the long distance chick who is zero threat bc she's 1000 miles away and when we were in person he (or his sig other) got spooked since we didn't have 1000 miles between us.  I mean we have hung out in person before soooo.... I have no idea but I hope he's over it because I miss my friend!!!!!

Some things never change

So I am not unfamiliar with the "friendzone".  I have unfortunately dealt with more than my share of offended masculinity.  

With that said, I have been "friendzoned" by guys if that's what you want to call it but I wasn't....it was different.  Did it suck if I had a crush and they didn't reciprocate? Yes a little but I was also aware...weird...whatever enough to not get mad about it.  99% of the time I ended up insanely good friends with these people and their sig others.  

But when guys I knew were "friendzoned" they got offended.  I can't tell you how many "friends" I thought I had that were 100% only trying to f**king win me or even better...sleep with me.  Gross....can we think with the brain and not the pee pee for one sec.  Also I am aware that there are some girls who are the same.  They play the long game to "get the guy".  Seriously we need to evolve a bit more...  

Either way you slice it saying you were "friendzoned" is such a dick thing to say.  Being a jack@$$ to someone who doesn't share the same feelings for you is so primitive.  It sucks but come on.  You can't tell me the proper response to "I see you as a friend" is to call someone a whore or an @$$hole.  NO!  

Being a friend is not necessarily a bad thing.  Being a friend is sometimes one of the best things to happen.  I know the friend thing doesn't always work or isn't easy when unreciprocated feelings are involved but sometimes those end up being the best friendships once you get past those pesky emotions.  Because being a friend doesn't mean there aren't any feelings, it doesn't mean someone doesn't love or care for you, they just don't share that special attraction.  

Where did this come from?  

While out walking today, I overheard the below:

Guy 1: dude…come on…

Guy 2: what…? She sucks, okay!

Guy 1: man…that’s called the friend zone!!!

Guy 2: Wait, what? okay…and…?

Guy 1:  and..? And!? And it’s a BAD THING! That’s like a funeral for your d**k! 

Girl: ummmm y’all are both @$$holes and it’s clear why your in “that” zone 

I mean good on the girl for calling them out but how crappy that a young 20 something had to call out two other ADULTS for being buttheads.  

Alcohol is bad, mmmkay

Okay not bad.  I am partaking in wine as I type this.  Over indulging in alcohol is bad...weeeeeeeeell, I say bad.  Its more annoying to those who are not as inebriated.  Look most of us have had that drunken moment(s) where we annoyed others.  So I get it.  I am very tolerant, especially if it is someone I care about. 

Fooosball is about to start, so we have this preseason stuff gong on, right?  Right.  It is very normal to partake in beer consumption before, during, and after games.  I had one BEFORE the game.  Hubs had...more.  Chaos (hilarity) ensued.  First, I didn't realize  how bad off he was till we went to leave and he forgot to put his headlights on...and then giggled.  OUT!  Now!  Put car back in park and exit. 

I'll just list the rest below (my side of the conversation bc its funnier that way):

- Stop touching me.  OMG, leave my zipper alone!  I STG boy I will pull this vehicle over.  NO, not to hump like bunnies in the back! 
- Pick a f**king station.  No...no...I did not mean find Barry White on my phone...*sigh* turn off "lets get it on"!
-  You want taco hell?  You?!?!  Mr. "I hate fast food" wants a Mexican Pizza...?  Okay.....
- Seriously, there are 15 cars in line at Taco Hell at 11PM?!?!  Stay here.  No STAY!  Did you just bark at me?!?!  Ewwwww you licked me!  Just stay, I'm going inside to get food. 
- *5 min later* he's doing the pee pee dance in the car.  OMG, just go...go pee...QUICKLY!
- Help me feed the pups...what are you doing?  Where are your pants????  Ya know what sit here...eat food...I'll do everything else.
- Where is my other taco? You ate it?!?  I hate you right now....
- *he passed out on the couch* Hey, hey!  I'm going shower.  Hey!!!! *shake shake shake* fine...Pups, behave!
- Sweetie, I'm going to bed.  *GRUNT* Okaaaaay...do you want me to take the pups out? *grunt*  right....  I took the dogs out just to be safe
- *20 min later* WTF was that crash?!?!? *runs out of bedroom*.  How...how are you still asleep?!?!!?  Why are all y'all hiding?!?!  WTF did you find?!?!  Hey...come to bed!  Don't yell at me.  FINE! 
- *15 min later* OMG they broke the TV!!!  What are you chasin?!?!!  How did a f**king dragonfly get in?!?!  How are you sleeping through this!?!?  WAKE UP, I need help!!!  You should come to bed so the animals stop freaking out.  Hey....sweetie come to bed.  Holy $hit you almost punched me.  *shaking him roughly* Do you just tell me to f**k off?!?!  FINE, I'm out.

I made the SADDEST attempt to catch the dragonfly and lost it....whatever I went back to bed.

- *some time later* why are they barking?!?!  What was that noise??!  Where did you get a shoe?!?  Give me that!  No no no, don't pee inside...dammit!  For f**ks sake WAKE UP!  Y'all stop playing!!!! Are you even alive?!  ARGH!!!!!

- *20 min later* OMG why are they screaming now!?!?!  Dogs shoooooosh! *walks into living room* Come here baby (our puppy is only 8 weeks old) That's it get up!  *slapped his butt* Are you shaking your @$$ at me?!?!?!  OMG...OMG that is rancid *gag* Jesus Christ now I know why its called Taco Hell!  You can stay, we are going to bed.

I finally went to sleep around 1:15AM, he woke me up at 3:30AM coming to bed, bad weather woke me up at 4:15AM, and I had to get up at 5AM.  Needless to say I was dragging @$$. 

SIDE NOTE - I sent passive aggressive texts to my love to document my adventures.  They were actually quite funny...see below.  Also I should note, I couldn't just put the puppy away in her kennel bc she knew he was on the couch and would scream and if she screamed speedy howled...and I was flipping tired.

TEXT 1:
There's a dragon fly in the living room.  I only know this because I heard a loud crash after I went to bed.  (This apparently had no affect on your dream state).  All 4 animals were making an attempt to kill it.  I tried to wake you for assistance, not once, not twice, not even three times....we'll go with four.  I lost the stupid thing while trying to catch it.  It's been more than 15 min and I can't find it.  I tried again to wake you and got nothing.  I'm tired too so again I will tell you im going to bed.  So if they break the tv or anything else trying to get that thing don't blame me. 



TEXT 2:
So I just got back from another awakening.  Im not sure how I hear it from the bedroom with the door closed and ear plugs in and you haven't moved.  I can only assume they caught or tried to catch the dragon fly again.  I also attempts to get you to come to bed.  I was rewarded with some unkind words and a grunt.  Am I angry? Yes but only because I'm exhausted and trying to sleep and keep getting awakened by insanity in the living room with zero assistance.  Good Night...or morning...or whatever time it is when you  wake up and see this.




TEXT 3: 
Captains log:  The pups were crying at the gate.  I took Speedy, put her to bed, and left you in the living room to sleep it off.   I've made my final attempt to move you with no luck.  You shook your butt at me and then farted.  Either you are beyond exhausted or had more beer than I realized.  Either way, I'm going to try and get 4 hours of sleep.

SIDE SIDE NOTE - We found the Dragonfly's remains the next morning...guess a cat caught it.