Only the good die young

Okay that's a tad dramatic but this is my first real experience with a childhood crush passing.  I am not terribly old but I am a bit younger than Luke Perry.  With that said, I had teensy...tiny...crush on him back in the day.  He was Dylan!  He was Pike! More recently, he was Fred Andrews!  My point is he meant something to me and was close enough in age. 

I watched 90210...well when I got a little older..maybe. When it first came out I was kinda young for the content BUT I still watched *shhh don't tell mom*.   I, like every other girl around, had a crush on Dylan and Brandon.

Side Note - I love seeing Jason Priestley on TV again.  Its not a bad show, check it out "Private Eyes".  

Anyways this is about Luke.   This is about a cute older actor that I totes had a crush on.  Yea, I had posters of him, yes I fangirled when I saw him on TV, YES I WAS AT BACCHUS SCREAMING LIKE AN IDIOT IN 2000. 

He wasn't that much older than me.  Well a bit but still young enough.  When I saw he had a stroke I couldn't believe it.  When I got the news alert today that he passed, I was in shock.  This cannot be.  He is 52 years old!  He is 5 years older than my current celeb fav. This.can.not.be!

I know I have dealt with my idols being lost in recent years but this isn't really an idol.  This was different.  He is close enough in age to me to freak me out.  This isn't a drug over dose or freak accident.  He had a stroke!  A stroke...at 52.  My heart is broken...especially for his family...his friends...and his fans. 

He seemed like a decent guy.  He was a good actor.  He was one of my 90's crushes.

He was Dylan...DYLAN!  Everyone's favorite bad boy.

Also, I truly did like him as Pike.  The movie was cheesy as hell but it fueled my nerdy little future even more.  I love horror, always have, but a teenage, valley girl, cheerleader VAMIPRE SLAYER...what is happening!?!??!  Teenage heart throb and vampires (NOT TWILIGHT!) Best thing EVER! 

I am so sad this has happened.  R.I.P. kind sir.  You are gone from this world way too soon. 

Of course its real! How can people still think it isn't real?!?!?!?

Depression is very very very real.  It isn't something you can just "turn off" or "get over".  Yes everyone in creation has ups and downs but DEPRESSION is a disease of the mind.  Its horrible and if people still think its made up or whatever they have clearly never known someone who suffered with it.

We've lost another talented person to suicide.  How many famous and non-famous people have to die before we realize the status of mental health treatment is embarrassing...?

Chester Bennington committed suicide mere weeks after Chris Cornell was found by his bodyguard.  They were friends.  Chris dying clearly took a toll on Chester.  I am so heartbroken for them and their families, friends, and fans.

So we lost two more amazing artists to a horrible disease.  I hate seeing/hearing things like "oh just another famous person who can't handle money" or "just another druggie" about anyone who has passed from an overdose or suicide or a combination.  That's not it.  Some of these aren't using drugs/alcohol to "be cool" or whatever.  Its their only way to cope with the horrible things depression does to their minds.  It gets so bad that death seems like the only way out.  I can't imagine that.  I can't imagine being so lost in the darkness of my own mind that I want to take my life but I know...I KNOW it happens.

I watched my Aunt and family deal with it after they found her husband.  I watched my BFF and her family deal with it after they found her Aunt.  Its awful.  You see first hand what happens to the family during and after something like this.  And while many want to blame the person who committed suicide, calling them selfish, they really shouldn't.  Yes, it is selfish I guess but that isn't how they see it.  They usually see themselves as a burden, as a problem, as someone who doesn't deserve to be happy...pick something.  They think taking themselves out of the equation is better for them AND those around them because they usually know they are sick and their loved ones wont have to be burdened with their issues any longer.

There is a light, there is always a light in the darkness, but sometimes they can't see it.  Depression LIES.  It lies so much.  But when you are depressed you may not be able to see that.

Bill Board Tribute to Chester

If you can't talk to family or call a friend...contact a stranger.  They are there to listen 24/7.  

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Call - 1-800-273-8255

Twitter

Online Chat

R.I.P.

Chris & Chester sing Hunger Strike

You want to know why I hate watching the news?

Because every time I turn it on some f**k nugget kills a bunch of innocent people.  Whether its a bomb, a vehicle crashing into a crowd, a plane into a building, mass shootings...shall I keep going?

Its sick!  People are SICK.  Who the f**k purposefully kills children?!?!  Cowards!  Cowards kill children.  Actually cowards do all of the above. I hate this world!  I hate this so much.  Children DIED.  An 8 year old DIED!  No one deserves to die at the hands of another but she was EIGHT YEARS OLD.  What God would approve of this?!?  Quit hiding behind your radical religious/political bull$hit.  Cold blooded Murder is murder, and can't be justified.

War is one thing...fighting with armies, people who chose (usually) to fight is one thing...attacking innocent persons to strike fear into your "enemy"...there is a special place in hell reserved for you. 

I just watched this episode again the other day.  I hate how much it fits in this stupid world we've created.  Unfortunately you can't reason with crazy...crazy will never listen to anyone because in their minds they are right and justified therefore no one else matters.

My heart hurts for those people...for those families.  

Rant over...we will be back to our regularly scheduled goofiness tomorrow.

P.S. I saw that quote posted on Doctor Who Hub sending condolences to the families of the attack.  And like they said its scary fitting for the situation(s) happening all over the world.  So I wasn't claiming to have thought of it just used it as part of my own rant.  

Please stop talking...pretty please...oh dear this is painful

Right so I am apparently too nice...and too friendly.  Complete strangers tell me the weirdest and sometimes very personal things.  But its not a bad thing and I guess sometimes people just need to get it out.

Right so called someone I am not necessarily close to but have known via business for years.  And the following happened:

Jane: Hello.
Me: Hi Jane! I need your help with _______
Jane: *Silence* Hi...NOLA Gurl
Me: *less joyous* Did you see my email?
Jane: Yes but...but I haven't really been in...I...did I tell you about my relative?
Me: Wha...? No...
Jane: They died...

Me: *danger will Robinson* *abort abort* Oh honey I am so sorry...
*thinking this was the end of it and we'd move to another subject*
Jane: They had (insert AWFUL disease) and...well I am one of many...and...they well they caused it themselves.  They started (insert bad habit) after a bad relationship.  And their kids stopped coming around and we gave up.  And their mom took care of them when they got too sick.  And...well I decided to help to give the mom a break.  But I made sure those kids started mending the relationship because they would regret it. 

So I helped and it was okay.  We talked and bickered and I helped them to bed.  Then things went bad.  They were drooling excessively.  Something just wasn't right.  So we called an ambulance and within 24 hours they died of an internal hemorrhage. 

And the funeral was yesterday....
(short version...there was much more but...)
 Me: Why are you at work?  I mean I know its a distraction but...are you okay...? 
(I know, I know dumb question...obviously NOT okay but I was on the verge of tears.)

Jane:  If I stay home I'll cry all day and night.  It was a big funeral. It was nice but its all a blur.  We are doing something as a family to try to heal.  They weren't that old.  I am just scattered.

Me:  I can't even imagine.  Again I am so incredibly sorry...but at least you got to see them again before they died. 
Jane:  Yes...that helps.  I was....I was the last person they saw.

*suddenly back to business* 
I gave my condolences again and we disconnected. 

I was CRYING at my desk after.  How horrible!  I mean I know they were suffering with this illness but Jiminy Cricket that hurt me and I don't even know them.  Its just so sad.

My take away.  Don't take anyone for granted.  You never know when they may not be there anymore.  Even if you are fighting...even if they are stubborn...try to make amends because you just don't know what is going to happen tomorrow.

Seriously 2016 has been the worst in some ways

I know we are at that age when our idols are aging and dying.  I get that but WTF again two over the course of a few days.

So right before Christmas Carrie Fischer suffers a massive heart attack.  I was heartbroken.  She is Princess Leia...she can't die.  Not yet!  They said she was stable, so fingers crossed, right...?

Then Merry Christmas...George Michael died. While he wasn't a super idol of mine, I was still sad.  He wasn't that old.  And he was an amazing artist.  He was only 53...

Thinking we were in the home stretch we received the blow we all hoped wouldn't happen.  Carrie passed on 12/27 due to complications from the heart attack.  I think I legit screamed "Nooooooooo!".  She wasn't just Princess Leia, she was so many other things, and she was a very strong mental health advocate.  She had issues and wasn't scared to talk about it to help others.   And from what I understand she was awesome to meet.  She made sure to make each meet and greet/photo op/whatever personable.  Yea she was in her 60's and had a rough life but she was too good to be taken so soon.

So yea this year has kinda sucks for celebrity deaths....

UPDATE - Are you f**king kidding me?!?!?!  Debbie Reynolds has passed away from a massive stroke.  Just one day after her daughter died...that poor family!  Seriously 2016 can eat a d**k!

I am terrified of the world we have created

I have little to say...this isn't for one side or the other...it is for life.

No one deserves death at another's hands no matter who they are or where they come from.  Who are we to decide who lives or dies?  We are not gods but mere humans who are playing games with the lives of our fellow man.  United we stand, divided we fall.  This isn't directed at any particular race, nationality, gender, occupation, etc.  It is about humanity...so little of what makes us human is left in the world.  We should protect the tiny glowing ember that remains hidden in the ashes and nurture it into a wildfire of love, peace, and unity instead of hate and violence.

Imagine

And do not call me a "hippie"...I am not, not really...I am just a human hoping for a better place for my future kids, my nieces & nephews...all of our children.

Okay 2016, I have had enough!!!

Is this what getting older means?!?!?!  It means all of my idols, childhood crushes, favorite celebs, etc. are f**king dying.   I know Prince was around way before I knew who he was but he shaped my generation just as much.  1999 was our anthem!  I say this because I was the class of 1999.  This song was literally our anthem!  So much talent.  So many amazing songs.  A true artist.  And now he's gone.  He was 57 years old.  Whatever the cause comes out to be, this is tragic. 

I was all over SE LA so I couldn't collect my thoughts until late.  I was getting in my car to go to another customer when a heartbroken T-pot came on B-97 during the iPod shuffle and broke the news.  I hadn't received a news alert yet so I was completely shocked.  I thought, "No way!  He isn't that old.  This is CLEARLY a hoax".  But it wasn't.  B-97 did the awesome thing and dedicated the iPod Shuffle to the legend that was Prince.  They only played 5 songs but it was enough to make me want to go find my old CDs.  I know I have some.  Sadly, my CASSETTE tapes are obsolete and drowned in the flood anyway (stop laughing).  Because I for SURE had Prince on tape.  Of course I did, he's f**king Prince!!!! 

Anyway, my heart was broken into a million little pieces...AGAIN.  Hearing any one of his songs brings back a FLOOD of memories.   I remember where I was, what I was doing, who I was with.  That's just me.  I have a weird connection to music.  I mean I know many are like this as well but not all my friends/family are so they don't usually get my nostalgia when an artist like this leaves us so suddenly. 

I just can't believe another icon is gone.  I'm probably gonna watch the Superbowl half time show at least one more time and listen to his songs.  Some say its really $hitty to binge after they die when you could have enjoyed them when alive or whatever. I think that's jerkhole statement.  It's not that we didn't appreciate them in life, its that we are honoring them in death.  You don't have to blast about someone everyday to have an appreciation for them.  So quit being a tw@t and let me bask in the memories created by his music.

"This is what it sounds like when doves cry"

No no no no nooooooooooooooooo! This week has been AWFUL!

I didn't post anything Monday because its been an insane week work wise but after this morning I have to take a moment... two...TWO brilliant, talented artists died of cancer just days apart.  My little geeky heart can't handle it!!!

I woke up Monday morning (f**k you Monday) to a news alert saying David Bowie passed away.  Then I woke up this morning (f**k you Thursday!) to a news alert that Alan Rickman passed away.  What is happening!?!?!?

David Bowie was such an amazingly talented man.  He will always be the Goblin King who sings about Magic and seduces unsuspecting selfish older sisters, along with a few other choice roles he played...I'm gonna go watch Zoolander again just for that scene.  His music will always hold a special place in my heart.  It's a little weird, I guess, but its so good.  You can't tell me that when listening to Space Oddity or Heroes or Starman or Life on Mars or Let's Dance that you don't get all weirdly happy inside.  His music was/is so unique yet speaks to so many different types of people.  So Monday I listened to David Bowie Radio ALL DAY and watched the Labyrinth when I got home.  I danced around my living room singing "Dance Magic, Dance" while my dogs looked at me like I was a lunatic. He's f**king David Bowie, dammit!  He is a legend!  He was only 69!!! Sorry but these days that is NOT old.  As some people joked (in a nice way, not @$$holes), he didn't die, he just went home.

This song took on a bit of a different significance Monday:

This is Ground Control to Major Tom
You've really made the grade
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear
Now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare
This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door
And I'm floating in the most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today
For here am I sitting in my tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do

Then this morning "famed actor Alan Rickman has died at 69".  What, noooooooo! How...what....69 also....ahhhhhhhh!  Alan Rickman was an insanely talented actor.  Of course he is the loved/hated Professor Severus Snape but he is also the Sheriff of Nottingham, Hans from die hard, Alexander in Galaxy Quest (which I just watched again like two days ago), Marvin (HGTTG), The Blue Caterpillar, and countless other roles and characters he brought to life.  I love his voice and his sense of humor.  He is/was so dry but it was so perfect.  If you haven't seen the Tonight Show interview where he inhales Helium, you need to look at it PRONTO!  I just can't believe he is gone too!  Both in the same week!

"If only life could be a little more tender and art a little bit more robust" - Alan Rickman 

I'm fine, it's fine, I'm...gonna go sit in a dark room and binge watch Harry Potter for the umpteenth time.  RIP to two unbelievably talented entertainers who were taken a bit too soon.  

 

Alright, I've avoided the topic for 3 days...but I saw something...

I'm not going to go on a rant.  I'm not going to discuss much of anything really.   I am going to say, I am heart broken and horrified at the appalling attacks in Paris.  The blatant disregard for human life is sobering.  Why?  That is the only question I have.  Why?  So many innocent people.  So many who just went out for an evening of fun who will never go home again.  So many who may be permanently injured (physically and/or mentally) because they went to a Soccer Match or Concert or just Dinner.  This isn't about religion or politics or whatever.  These people had nothing to do with those things, they just happen to be citizens (and some tourists) of the country attacked.  These were cold hearted mass murders.  It makes me weep for humanity and never want to leave my house. 

I was out and about Friday when I got the alerts.  And while we were informed the U.S. wasn't under immediate threat of an attack, there was an increased police presence where we were.  We went to a live show and everyone was being overly cautious and seemed nervous.  Who is to say we wouldn't be targeted next...how can you possibly know.  That theater holds 4,000 people plus staff.  At first we were confused why they wouldn't let us in.  We weren't allowed in the venue until just under 40 min before the show.  Then they wouldn't let us go to our seats until 10 minutes before.  I've been to shows here before...this was a little weird.  I figured maybe the entertainers were running late but that still didn't make a lot of sense.  All I can think was they were being cautious...its a national touring show...better safe then sorry, right?  Everyone always thinks "it will never happen here..." until it does. 

Anyways, this song has always been special to me...more so now than ever I guess.

Imagine by John Lennon

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace, you

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people sharing all the world, you

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one

I know this isn't the only thing that has happened recently...bad things happen everyday...there have been irrational acts of terror across the world.

Alight, who dumped the crazy juice into the drinking water???

Seriously though.  Everyday, just about, I get a news alert about some jacked up person with a weapon and it makes me feel stabby.  Yes I know I just eluded to violence in response to violence but the difference between the crazy I'm talking about and my "feeling" is I won't actually go out and stab someone!

I'm not getting into the gun law debate...that $hit is crazy as well.  But I do want to point out that it appears that no matter where you go in the world psychopaths with guns are in competition with each other to see who can amass the higher body count.  This isn't a video game people!!! It is f**king terrifying.

Side Note - I don't believe violent games/movies create violence...I think most times it is a lack of intelligence and a lack of self control that creates violence.  Untreated severe mental illness not included. 

We have the nut jobs in the states who have opened fire in public spaces like movie theaters and offices.  We have the loony toon on the train in Europe who was thankfully taken down by some brave individuals before he could do anything really stupid.  We have the INSANE crime in NOLA.  No really...it is so f**king bad it gives me migraines to watch the news.  When you get an alert that a 13 year old robbed an elderly man at gunpoint you know the world has gone to $hit and its plain to see why you have lost Faith in Humanity.  In the same day you also get an alert saying that a during a routine traffic stop some jack@$$ shot a State Trooper in the head...in the HEAD...what is happening?!?!?! Then you remember that a month ago a 13 year old was arrested because he raped an 8 year old.  How...what...why...how do you ...*hangs head in defeat*.

Yes, I know the state of our mental health, healthcare sucks BUT the crazy is running rampant.  I am saying crazy...maybe its more like delusional...drug induced...self inflicted insanity.  Alcoholics, drug addicts, and mentally unstable persons have been around for a very long time.  This isn't anything new.  So I am really confused as to WHY it is such an epidemic of violence in recent years that is blamed on these things.  Is it because we are more connected so we hear about more?  Are the mind altering substances that much "better"?  Are more people partaking in them?  Is it because these individuals were raised by parents who lived in an "enhanced" state?  Or is it because people were never taught to respect life...or even deal with life for that matter? 

Look, life sucks. . . it isn't easy. . .and bad things happen even to really good people.  But as an adult, you cannot continue to blame your bad behavior on anyone else.  Even if you had a craptastic childhood or marriage or whatever...there comes a point where you have to take responsibility for YOUR actions.

Yes, it is easier said than done but if we RESPECTED life as much as people seem to take it for granted, I think the world would be a much different place.  A better place...maybe.  And as sad as I am to say this if you want to end your life...I don't like it but so be it...all I ask is that you quit taking a room full of innocents with you in the process!

UPDATE!!!!!  WTF it got worse.  This is NOT how I envisioned starting my day...

Then I logged into Facebook and was bombarded with the story from like every news station, it is horrible!!!  Link to "breaking news"

Artax, noooooooo!

So I got on FB to pass some time and I saw this.

Without reading the caption/article title I got really sad.  Do you know why?!?!  Come on!!! Any child of the 80's should have had the SAME reaction!!!!

I was like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Artax, don't succumb to the sadness!!!!!" That is one of the worst scenes in a kids movie!!! I cried then and I still cry now!  Then I looked closer at the pic and said "wait...that's not Atreyu...", hold up "Isn't Artax white...???" 

Soooooooooooo NOT the scene from The Never Ending Story when Artax "dies" in the Swamps of Sadness, whew.  Wait, what happened here then...?  I'm not reading the story because I fear sobbing into my sleeve.  Plus the site name looks sketch...shareably.net, no thanks.

My little nerdy heart broke a little today!

An icon has been lost. Seriously though no words can really express what an amazing person he was.  If you followed him on Twitter you kind of know. 

Yes he was Spock but he was also so much more.  Look him up, he did quite a bit while he was with us.  

I saw a few days back that he was admitted to the hospital because of complications due to COPD and being as he was in his 80's that was concerning.  When I received the news alert of his passing, I definitely teared up a bit.  It has been nice to see the outpouring of love on social media from celebs and fans alike.  Such a sad day for Trekkies around the world.  

This scene is that much more heartbreaking today.

 

RIP Mr. Nimoy, you did Live Long and Prosper...you will be missed!

11 years later...

And Odd Thomas is still one of my favorite book characters ever, possibly the favorite.  On a whim back in 2003 in a discount book store I picked up a hard cover copy of Odd Thomas (which totally got lost after we flooded *sad face*).  I knew nothing of the book only that I had just read "Whispers" my first Koontz novel and really liked it, disturbing as it was.  I never, EVER expected to like this character so incredibly much.  He is witty and funny and relatable and quirky...oh and he sees dead people.  After reading Odd Thomas, I so happy that I took a chance on a $2.00 book and got to experience this story.  At that time I had no idea it would be a series.  Imagine my surprise when I saw that Forever Odd was coming out.  I've read every single one since.  Always, always craving more from my favorite paranormal sensing sassy friend.  I've even seen the movie which I wish more would have seen because honestly I thought it was quite good.  My husband who has not read any of the books really liked it.  Well until the end when he looked over at me and I was all teary eyed and he said "OMG that was so sad, I wasn't expecting that!!!"  And then he wanted to know what happens next *smile*.  I think I created a new Odd Thomas fan *whoohoo*.

Yesterday I was relaxing on my couch and I checked my email.  I (don't be shocked) am on the Dean Kootz fan mail list thingy.  So I get updates on all his new books.  I saw "SAINT ODD is coming..." whoohooo, new Odd Thomas book.  Then I opened it and saw "The end is his beginning".  What...what....what...no...nooooo....really...*shocked*.  I knew it would be ending eventually but, but, this can't be the last book... *internal sobbing*.  

Like I said clearly this series was coming to an end soon but I am not ready to say goodbye.  Other series I love have ended and although I was sad to finish them, I was okay with it.  I really don't want to say goodbye to Odd.  If Odd was real, I really think we could be BFF's (is that weird?  I feel like that's weird).  And the book comes out around my anniversary so I am sure hubs will not appreciate me getting lost in a book at that time. 

Once I read the final chapter I will post a review (on the other blog) of my thoughts on all of the Odd Thomas books, I am sure of it.  Maybe I'll call it "typing through tears" because regardless of the ending I think I am going to be sad *sniffle*.

Sometimes it's hard to be happy...

...when a good friend of yours is so sad!

I am on cloud nine and in what appears to be a promising relationship :) .... but... A few posts back I talked about a friend of mine whose hubby had an emotional affair...well a few weeks after I posted that it was discovered it was a FULL BLOWN affair. He slept with another woman...for 6 months! Well my friend forgave him with conditions (not sure if I could do it but I've never been in THAT position so I dunno). Things have been fairly good considering. They have good days and bad days but he seemed genuinely sorry and wanting to make things work.

Well today I spoke to her and she was crying!!! You see ever since this all happened he drinks...a good bit...on Fridays after work. But said he wanted to try and stop. Ok cool! Well he just got a new job and was sent for training out of state all this week. She called him last night to see how his day was....he was in a bar. Talking to the waitress and telling his WIFE how the waitress thought his facial hair was sexy and wanted to know if she was gonna come up there and "cut a bitch". NICE :P. Well he said they would be leaving soon and he'd give her a call later. 10:00PM rolled around and still no call so she called him so his KID could say goodnight... He was still at the bar... DRUNK! He said he couldn't hear her and he'd call her back. He never called...she called him a few times...no answer. She stayed up ALL night waiting for him to do the right thing! Never happened...

She talked to him this morning and he doesn't remember her calling at 10 OR that she called a few times and he didn't pick up. He is sorry...or so he says but she is crushed...AGAIN! She is on the verge of making the most difficult decision of her life and all he can say is sorry I effed up...again...my bad :P. I don't get it...Why is it that he got to cheat...was forgiven...and he makes no effort. He should be KISSING her butt for forgiving him...instead he got drunk and dropped off the radar for a night.

I hate seeing my friends hurt by their Husband/Wife/GF/BF... it kills me. And although she is so happy that I am happy with my boyfriend (wow that still sounds weird to me) its hard for me to accept that there are still decent guys out there when I am watching a former decent man throw his marriage away!!! Most men are PIGS I just hope we all find that one out there that still has enough morals to be a loving husband and father....