I feel threatened...I don't feel safe...

Look I try my hardest not to be easily offended but I do not take threats to my person lightly.  Let me set a scene.

I got home from work and decided to wash my car.
I changed into running Capri pants and a tank top.
I washed my car.
THAT'S IT!

While bent over scrubbing bug guts off my bumper I heard "*sucking teeth* Yea gurl".

I glanced over my shoulder and saw 5 teenage boys on bikes riding by.  I IGNORED them. 

They stopped not far from my house but said nothing else. They were making me uncomfortable because I knew they were watching me. 

After wearing myself out scrubbing BUG GUTS and bird $hit off my car, I had no muscle power left to Rain-X my windshield, so I asked my other half for help.  As he was wiping my windshield I was picking up the washing supplies.  Those "kids" came back by right as I walked inside.  That's when I heard something that made my skin crawl.  I heard *in a deep voice*, "hey man, Ima F**K your wife." 

My husband reacted (NOT violently) and they took off.  While my neighbor who happened to be outside BBQ-ing yelled something about them being disrespectful. 

We aren't talking about a bunch of ankle biters.  These teens were much bigger than little old me, some bigger than my husband.  It wasn't an "appreciation" of my body (which is still a bit uncalled for), that was a vile statement.  He didn't say "Your wife is hot", he said "Ima f**k your wife". 

It was a statement of fact.  You didn't hear it, there was a clear threat in his voice.  My gut said run.  I was legitimately frightened.  My husband is concerned for me.  He doesn't want me to be home alone.  And honestly I don't think he is overreacting.  It may have been a "funny" joke to them but it made me extremely uncomfortable. 

I shouldn't feel unsafe in and around my own home.  I don't know them.  They aren't kids from my neighborhood.  What if they come back when I am home alone?  What if they actually mean me harm?

I'm just glad my other neighbor was outside and heard all of it. 

And just to clarify there was no sexy bending...there was no wet t-shirt...there was nothing that suggested I wanted any type of attention much less THAT kind of attention.  I was just washing my f**king car! 

I'm sure if they were confronted they would say it was all in harmless fun.  Yea I bet that's what people say when they threaten the President online.  "Oh it was just a joke, no need to overreact" until that one time, it isn't JUST a joke. 

No fooling me...I hate pranks!!!!!!! But these, these I am okay with.

My first glimpse into 4/1/2016...I knew it was a joke but soooooooo mean!

The sad thing is some people probably think this is real and are licking their phones....

*pahahahaha* Sorry but its funny...I mean it sucks that some people had major issues but I can't stop laughing!!!

 

Silly, silly, silly

Now that's just mean

 

Noooooo its fake?!? I'd totally buy this stuff!

What on Earth?  *snort* By the way I totally read that as Pica"snatch" at first and thought  picaboo got hacked.

And then there is TimeHop...that took a glimpse into the future instead of the past.  And its pretty funny....oh dear what if any actually happen?!?!?!

This is the kind of silliness I can get behind...no one is hurt (well Gmail...)...its cheesy but its fun.  Can you imagine the women who actually go into labor today?!?!?

W: Oh dear, I think I'm in labor
M: Ha  ha   ha very funny
W: No really sweetie the baby is coming
M:  Yea yea yea April Fools
W: GOD DAMMMIT I'M NOT KIDDING
M: *looking up* did you wet yourself?
W: I don't know what happened officer.  When I came to he was bleeding with a black eye

They both take place in Space...it could totally work!

Conversation:

Me: Why can I watch some movies a million times and never get really tired of them?
Hubs: Dunno, I'm not like that
Me: *glare*
Hubs: What movie were you watching?
Me: *distracted* Guardians of Gallifrey
Hubs: Huh?
Me:  *still distracted* You know with the Racoon and the Tree?
Hubs: Oh...I was thinking with the Time Lord and Police Box
Me:*blank stare* *thinking* *realization* *hysterical laughter*
Hubs: Are you okay?
Me: *trying to talk and failing* *crying laughing*
Hubs: *concerned stare* NOLA Gurl...?
Me: OMG...OMG...OMG someone write this!  Not me...someone else...who writes better...
Hubs: *knocking on my head* Helllllooooo
Me: Time Lord...Star Lord...close enough...
Hubs: What?!?
Me: There was a living tree lady in Season One...Oh, and she could still be Nebula...
Hubs: *guiding me down the hall* Bed time for the wifey
Me: *wistfully* I don't want to go
Hubs: *blank stare*
Me: *uncontrollable laughter* I am funny! *snort*
Hubs: When was the last time you slept...?

Clearly, my imagination runs wild when I'm tired...exhausted...sleep deprived...

Just call me...f**k he doesn't have a NAME...only "The Narrator"...fine, call me...The...Narrator...

1st rule of Fight Club...well at least I'm not Tyler Durden...

So I came to an uncomfortable realization.  I think I use TV/Movies to express emotions that I don't normally..."express".  I mean I have emotions but some seem to come out more freely when entranced by a show...or a book...usually a show...occasionally a "short story" (not Fan Fiction) *uncomfortable laugh*.  They are my "meetings". 

I know I know I know you are over there like:

But hear me out.  I get happy, I get sad, I get in-between...I prefer happy.  So I am ALWAYS "happy"...even when I should probably be sad.  But I don't like to be sad, so as much as I preach "its okay to cry"...I usually don't.  At least not in-front of others...rarely in-front of others.

The thing is I don't do it because I can't feel...I do it because I don't want to (do not Freud me...I know this isn't "normal"). 

I find that I find my release...my coping...my "its okay to cry" coming from fiction...crap!

I relate sad things in fiction to things that happen (or could happen) in my life or around me and have an emotional response.  I am am empathetic person.  If you are sad, I can relate and get sad...I just don't always fully project it until I am alone.

For example...watching the Series Finale of Lost Girl...not terribly sad but sad enough.  Tamsin f**king died after childbirth...that is a relatable thing...*level: tears*.  Her daughter grows up loved but without a mother...also relatable...*level: sobbing*.  Bo and the gang watch out for her...Bo says to her "I won't let you become a 'Lost Girl'..." JFC just rip my heart out people! *level: rocking in corner*

My point is it wasn't THAT sad to illicit the response(s) I had to it.  I find this happens with other shows/stories.  I wasn't a fan of Danny Pink on Doctor Who but I teared up when he died/sacrificed himself...don't even talk to me about Clara's death *level: don't f**king touch me*.  The parting of The Doctor and Rose...RELATABLE...*level: snot bubble*.  I could also just say...Vincent Van Gogh *level: silent ugly sobs*.  The series finale of House (dammit House!!!) *level: laughing through tears*.  Or...Allegiant (the book) *level: denial...why is my face wet, its not sad...she isn't DEAD* Hmmm, maybe I just don't like endings...the finality of things.

Crap, now I'm Freud-ing myself. 

No worries, I am not developing a split personality.  I will not have a Tyler Durden side that creates a club where we beat the $hit out of each other just to "feel".  But I do have a feeling I am not alone...others are probably similar.  I don't know why we do it (and I'm not gonna analyze that, EVER) but it works for me so why change it.

Shut up Tyler!

I think we are overdue for a new plague...

Alright, that sounds really awful and honestly I do not want to go through something like that.  But as stated in a previous post our society is in a downward spiral plummeting towards something really really really REALLY bad. 

I don't know what happened.  I am not a religious fanatic (obviously but I still have MORALS) so I'm not gonna be like "y'all need Jesus" but...ya know what "y'all need Jesus!" Or at least what he represented.  Some sort of moral compass.  Love thy neighbor.  Don't take what isn't yours.  Quit MURDERING people...which if we are being truthful that kind of goes along with the "don't take what isn't yours" thing.  Their LIFE isn't yours to take!!!!!!!

Why can't people cope with their life without enacting harm on another person?!?!  It's like an epidemic!  Life is hard, I know this.  I have stupid crap happen all the time.  Look rejection sucks...but...Rejection.is.normal.  Rejection is a healthy part of life.  Rejection makes you strive harder.  Rejection makes you better yourself so that next time you get what ever it was. 

You will not always make the team. 
You will not always get the job. 
You will not always get the promotion. 
You will not always get the girl/guy. 
You will not always GET WHAT YOU WANT. 

That doesn't mean that you now have the right to harm another person because you were rejected.

Maybe its because I am older but I really feel like the world has become an absolute nightmare.  A place where you can hurt someone or take their life just because YOU feel wronged in some way.  More often than not I am hearing about people who take EXTREME measures against others because they didn't get their way.  It is like they never got passed that Toddler Temper Tantrum phase. 

If a girl/guy/company rejects you:

- You do have the right to be upset
- You do have the right to be angry
- You do have the right to throw YOUR things, in YOUR residence
     ***not at another living creature
- You do have the right to question YOUR choices

- You do not have the right to physically attack anyone
     ***which also means not MURDERING them whether by your hand or a hired one
- You do not have the right to stalk - This includes but is not limited to:
    - Showing up at their work
    - Showing up at their home
    - Showing up when they are out with friends/family
- You do not have the right to harass them
- You do not have the right to damage their property - This includes but is not limited to:
    - Slashing their tires
    - Breaking their windshields
    - Throwing bricks through windows
- You do not have the right to harass their friends/family
- You do not have the right to harm their pets (there is a special place in hell for you if you do)


Just because you have been "wronged" does NOT give you the right to do anything but move on.  You should NEVER lay hands on another person unless in self defense.

No I wasn't attacked but someone I know lost their CHILD because of a "jealous" ex.   It doesn't matter that this person was an adult...they are still someone's CHILD and their life ended prematurely because someone else couldn't cope with them moving on with THEIR LIFE. 

P.S. This includes when you are a parent.  If your child is rejected, teach them a lesson...don't go bat$hit crazy to "save" their feelings.  You are making it WORSE.

P.P.S. People have differing opinions and lifestyles.  Unless their choices are harming you in some way (which is RARE) you have NO RIGHT to harm them or control them.  Live YOUR life and leave them alone to live THEIR life. 

Soooo should I or shouldn't I rub a lemon in my axilla...area...

Click bait *ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*, *psycho music*, screw you interwebs

I saw this on Pinterest and it piqued my curiosity.

Mainly because the only response I had was "ummmm I dunno...it would burn...I guess".  Oh and "why is there an 'it' in there...it doesn't need an 'it'...take out the 'it'!!!"

So I stupidly clicked the link. 


1. Some video started screaming at me (I hate those things!)
2. It was one of those click through slide shows (I REALLY hate those things)
3. This was the first slide

     3a.  Okaaaaay.  That is how to use Citrus on skin...not specifically underarms...lets click through
4. Next was "moisturize" (Cassandra is that you???), then "sunscreen", then like vitamins or some
    nonsense....
     4a. Not ONE f**king slide talked about armpits (wow that sounds much worse when I say it out 
     loud)
5.  The site was so "loaded" with BS it killed my web browser

So now I am annoyed because I had to log back in to everything AND I still don't know what happens when you put lemon on your pits.

My assumptions are it will shrink pores and reduce acne...I don't know why I need this kind of treatment for my arm pits but its on Pinterest so it must be good...right?!?! 

Maybe it kills bacteria that causes odor...or you will just smell lemony fresh...for a bit. 

Can you imagine my hubs coming home and seeing me rubbing half a lemon under my arm....?!?!

How hard do you "rub"? 
Do you leave it on or rinse it off?
Do you do this before or after showering?!?!!?
Does it matter what kind of lemon? 
Can I just use lemon juice from a jar (Not from concentrate)? 

I have so many questions....

***Directions unclear: I now have "fresh" squeezed lemon juice and I smell like a walking can of pledge...who is thirsty? Also, I seem to have attracted ants...***

SIDE NOTE - I am NOT actually trying this...it just sounds like something that would end badly for me.  #mypitsareonfire

SIDE SIDE NOTE - I'd somehow get it in my eye and go blind or something

Dance monkey, dance! *muahahaha*

I was told that "dancing" is not exercise.  Pardon?!?  My friend, dancing is most certainly exercise.  It is cardio, toning, and builds muscle.  But it's "girly" *hello, 1950's...when did you show up*. 

Dancing isn't just GIRLY...just like other sports aren't just BOYLY...manish...manly...whatever.  Dancing is a sport, you tw@t.  So I issued a challenge we do my "not really exercise" Zumba/Hip Hop dancing and then we will do running on a treadmill and weights.  We did this all in ONE day...there was a 3 hour break for food and "recovery".

Side Note - I alternate with the treadmill and weights too...so suck it Trebek. 

During Dance time:

I am surprisingly coordinated and KNEW the dances so while I probably don't look "great" I was more the "How I think I look" and they were more the "How I actually look"

 

After 1 hour of Zumba/Hip Hop:
Me (I mean, I wasn't pretty but full of energy):

I found this online...couldn't find a person to credit...sorry.

Them:

***3 hours later***

It was time for their "exercise".  This meant 2+ miles on the treadmill and using the machines.  I was told "try to keep up".  Okay FINE!  I may not run as fast as them but I can run...they finished their miles before I did.  Once done I did 6 sets of 10 on 6 of the 10 machines (focusing on arms and abs). 

When I was done I found them

Not mine: Photo: istolethetv/Flickr

Me: Ummm you okay??? 
Them: I can't feel my legs...and it hurts to breathe a bit
Me: Too many weights...?
Them:  I didn't do the machines
Me: ??? 
Them:  You win...Dancing hurts
Me: *laughing hysterically*
Them: Its not funny
Me: *still laughing*

I might not be in the BEST shape...I could use some improvement but I clearly have a better endurance than someone who just does a little cardio with a lot of weights. 

**Next Day** I was told muscles hurt that they didn't know existed.  

That's right boo...dancing is a FULL body workout not just certain areas.  Next step...YOGA *muahahaha*

**SIDE NOTE** This wasn't my sig other...he knows better *ehhhehehehe*.