In honor of Shark Week...it's time for a story

It's Shark Week!!!  I love shark week...you'd think after like 20 years, I'd be sick of Shark Week but no way man...it's Shark Week.  And yes I know its been around for 27 years but there were some years at the beginning where I didn't have cable #iwaspoor so *pleeft*. 

Anyways, I don't have a shark encounter (thankfully) to share but I have a shark related story.  As noted in the past, I live in Southeast Louisiana (near NOLA).  We are quite literally surrounded by water...a virtual island if you include all the bayous and waterways.  Most people (at least 12 or so years ago most people) would say that unless you are in the Gulf of Mexico you aren't going to encounter a shark BUT the locals knew better.  We knew that Sharks inhabited Lake Pontchartrain, at least for part of the year.  When I was young there were always "stories" about sharks in the lake but "smart people" always seemed to want to refute it saying, "Uh no, it is fresh water and sharks like salt water" or something of that nature. 



So it became a sort of joke.  No one ever really proved it from what I recall but people always claimed they saw them.  Moving on to the story.  So 12 or so years ago my "friend" bought a speed boat, whoohoo!  A group of us would go riding in The Lake for fun almost every weekend.  We never got out the boat into the water (those stigmas about a polluted lake were still strong in our minds) for fear of growing an extra arm.  A few weeks after he bought the boat he got a tow line, an inner tube and a knee board.  To quote him, "it's time to have a little fun on the water" (he's a cajun through and through).  Now I am not one to shy away from Hydro-sliding (Knee Boarding) but in The Lake?!?! Nooooo thank you!

For a few weeks after the purchases he tried to get us to go in the water but we ALWAYS had an excuse...some of the guys went but most of us said "uh, maybe next time".   Then there was a sighting...someone saw a shark...it was on the Northshore maybe...never confirmed.  After that it wasn't just a "no thanks" but an "oh hell no!" 

One day (turning to evening) we'd all been drinking (not our skipper, he was sober...safety FIRST people!) and things got weird.  The boys were once again trying to convince us to play in the water.  To which I replied "Seriously?!?!  That is basically how Jaws begins!" They kept saying things like "it's totally safe.  Come on, live a little." One of my acquaintances said "I am not going in water where I can't see my legs under the surface!  That is just asking for lost limbs!" As time progressed we were probably out near The Sandbar I guess (just floating) and our rowdy crew was getting rowdier as the sun was setting...now I am no expert but aren't Dawn/Dusk considered prime hunting times for Sharks???  Anyway, we all had life vests on (we aren't that dumb) but that doesn't stop stupidity.  Well one guy who I will mention is no longer considered a friend of mine (mainly because I broke up with his friend) decided it would be HILARIOUS to throw me overboard.  After I screamed, shot lake water out my nose and caught my breath, I yelled "You f**king @$$hole, I'm basically a swimming chum bucket!" The GIRLS immediately dragged me back in the boat. 

Can I tell you the look of shock on all the boys faces (even my dumb@$$ boyfriend)....it took them all what seemed like hours to get it.  Finally one said (very condescendingly),  "you do know a chum bucket is basically pieces of fish tissue and blood." Um yea I do...THINK ABOUT IT!  Obviously I was not eaten by a shark and I am not even sure if that would have attracted a shark but it was dusk...I was "bleeding"...and I was thrashing around in the water...NOT GOOD!  I wasn't wearing a "plug", I had an issue at the time that prevented that...so I ended up with half of Lake Pontchartrain absorbed into my undies...thank you jerk face. 

I swear it was not long after where experts were like "Oh yea, by the way Bull Sharks are talented little f**kers...they can actually swim in brackish water...we are fairly certain that is what ventures into the lake." Oh f**king great!  Well at least I wasn't dinner for one of the most aggressive sharks out there *whew*.