As weird as my childhood was, I will give it to my parents, they really did allow me to try everything at least once. I was tiny and "weak" but I tried out for EVERY sport, cheer leading, dancing, theater, choir, etc. until I found something I liked. They never once told me things like "oh honey, you are too little for basketball". Because you know what, I might have been a few inches shorter than most of my classmates BUT I could shoot the ball like no ones business. Did I make the teams? No, not all of them but I kept trying until I figured out what I was good at. It ended up being dancing/choir. That is where I excelled. I was okay at some of the other stuff (soccer/cheering/gymnastics) but I was better at those two. And my parents made me pick two things. You can't do everything so pick what you enjoy most. My point is, I never gave up and my parents never tried to stop me. They supported me, knowing I just needed to find my niche. It didn't break my confidence, it made me more determined.
With that said I wanted to cry/scream the other day after hearing an exchange between a mom and daughter. The little one couldn't have been more than 7.
Lil Bit: *twirling around* Mom, when do I go back to gymnastics???
Mom: *uncertain* Well we didn't sign you up, but I guess we can...
Lil Bit: *excited* Well maybe I could do ballet instead!!!
Mom: *condescending* Honey, you have never danced a day in your life!
Lil Bit: *still excited* But I could try, I want to try dancing school *still twirling*
Mom: *sighing* Look, you aren't built like a gymnast or a dancer. Those girls are expected to be tiny and you just aren't. You are tall and a little thicker than those girls and you have big feet. You wouldn't do well in it.
Me: *staring with mouth open*
Me: *quickly trying to hide my displeasure with this conversation*
Lil Bit: *looks crushed* But *insert names of 4 friends* are in dancing and about my size.
Mom: Well their moms should have thought that through
Me: *mortified*
Mom: Now no more talk about things we can't do, okay *hugs kid*
Lil Bit: *unshed tears* Okay mom *walks away*
Me: *carefully speaking because I am always reminded I don't understand because I have no kids* Ummm, maybe she could try dancing school. . .
Mom: No, I don't want her disappointed when she fails
Me: *stupid stare*
What the hell?!!?!? Why would you do that to your daughter?!!?!? It's dancing school. There isn't a try out...you just sign up!!!! Telling her she CAN'T do something because of her body type...she is f**king 7!!! You are going to give her body image issues!!! FYI, she isn't big either. Yea, she is a little tall for her age but she isn't BIG. Not that it should matter but my point is, OMG! She is already at a disadvantage in life because she is a girl because our society SUCKS! It is true, don't try to tell me different. She needs all the self assurance she can get. But cutting her down without letting her try...just assuming she would fail...you are a female, you KNOW how hard it is. I can't form proper sentences to describe how awful this is! This isn't protecting her...this will cause way more harm than good. She will forever think she can't do things because she isn't built like everyone else! JFC you are supposed to teach her to embrace her body not to feel self conscious about something she can't change!
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