Monday, February 18, 2008

My Main ‘Squeeze’

Well I’d like to say I have a fairytale, everything is wonderful relationship BUT I don’t. What I want to know is, are all men as oblivious as mine? I would like to think he means well but I’m really not sure. At this point he seems to be the biggest lemon I’ve been given so far!

Okay a little background. We have been together for 4 ½ years and we were friends for 4 years before that, so its easy to say we’ve known each other for some time. You would think by now he would have some sort of clue what to do or not to do, NOPE. He was there for me through a few difficult relationships and did he learn anything by having me cry on his shoulder for 4 years, yea he learned how to be a jerk.

Now to my story, let’s see if you have any advice for me. Yesterday while I was cooking dinner my boyfriend was on the computer talking to his cousin. He came up to me and told me his cuz had mentioned a while ago that he wanted to go skiing before a wedding they are both in. Well last night the cousin got the green light from his wife and wanted to know how serious my boyfriend was about going. Mind you last night was the first I hear about this. They are looking to go Easter weekend. Normally I am all about my man spending time with the guys; they need that kind of stuff. But last night this last minute trip with the cousin pushed me over the edge. I went to our room and cried. Now fellas don’t think I’m the crazy Girlfriend that wants to control/be a part of everything, that not me. What triggered me is/was much deeper.

You see we’ve been talking about going skiing, since I’ve never been. But nothing has come of it thus far except talk. The reason I got so upset is not because I was not invited…it’s because I realized something last night…a sort of revelation. We have NEVER been on a vacation together. In 4 ½ years the most we’ve done is drive to South Carolina and Atlanta for a couple of weddings. And it’s not because money is a problem. We both do pretty well. Yes we are trying to save but it’s not out of the question to plan a trip.

Well he finds me crying and thinking alone in the bedroom and has the response of "I’m sorry I didn’t invite you.” I explained why I was upset. Not because of the lacking invite but because of the lack of time together. I’m not the type to ask/beg for things but like I said this just pushed me over the edge, the proverbial “straw that broke the camels back”. He didn’t get it. All he kept saying was “I do want to be with you” or “I love you”. I mean really is that it. Not "I do want to go somewhere with you" or “hey when we go to Atlanta again this summer for yet another wedding, let’s extend the trip into a vacation.” I mean something, anything come on! I know I am flipping out over a small thing...AKA the trip with his cousin but I cannot help it... it’s the trigger. It’s what made me realize all of this underlying ‘stuff’ (there’s more but that’s another conversation in itself).

Am I truly over reacting, should I take a Pill and forget about it? It really doesn’t feel like one of those just let it go situations. It feels more like I better start paying more attention. What kind of boyfriend doesn’t want to spend alone time, away from everything with his supposed love…?