Are you okay?

Says me to the person with the Cryptic posts.  Yea we've all done it at some point but you eventually realize, Facebook/Twitter probably isn't the place to air that kind of laundry.

Look, I get concerned.  I am not being funny.  Okay, I am being a little funny but I am not sure what to make of this series of posts...

Alright...good words of advice on how to not be an @$$hole, kudos.

Interesting bible verse...whateves.

Hmmmmm...are we having a crisis...?

I mean that's true...I've had an anxiety attack...Es no bueno...but you have never had one...or have you...

What the hell is going on???????

Ummmm, well that's depressing. I am seriously concerned...

And here we have a recipe for broccoli.

That is a heck of a ride only to end up with a side dish for dinner.  They are still posting on social media.  No more "deep thoughts", now it is all puppies, silly quotes, and recipes.

So that is my question...should I be concerned? Or just right this off as someone needing attention...a validation that they are in fact not alone.   Even though I know they talk to people EVERYDAY on the phone and in person.  To me this sounds like a classic case of depression, with a touch of manic tendency but when you ask them you get nonsense responses about how they just thought they were kind words or things that just need to be said or whatever.

I want to help but it seems they are content posting depressing messages on social media meanwhile others are asking me and their other acquaintances what the hell is going on with them...so I guess I'll just continue to be here if needed..I only wish they would stop rapid fire posting all of it online and tell me how I can actually help...

Drivers Ed: 101 - also known as common f**king sense

Soooooo while I don't claim to be the BEST driver around, I do understand the rules of the road.  I also understand how IMPORTANT it is to follow said rules.  Things like "when going 10 MPH or more UNDER the speed limit on the highway you should put on your emergency flashers to warn drivers who ARE gong the speed limit (or more) that you are the tortoise to their hare and they should go AROUND you". Or other things like when merging onto the highway don't stop! Well unless traffic is stopped...otherwise you should be speeding UP to merge into traffic. 

Speaking of merging...below is merging...it illustrates your lane MERGING into traffic...you should probably YIELD (NOT STOP) to traffic and assess when you can merge...it sometimes involves a full stop but not always. 

See how the lane flows INTO traffic...see it!?!?!? 

This is also a form of merging...but this doesn't mean STOP!  This barely means yield....this means you have a whole f**king lane to turn into.  You have the right of way....why are you stopping!?!?!!?!?

So jack@$$ if you STOP in this lane...a few things happen. 
1.) I almost rear-end you because you are a tool 
2.) I almost get rear-ended because I had to slam on my brakes
3.) I develop a serious case of turrets, yelling enough profanity to make a sailor blush 
     3b) I will make the lady in another car loose it in a fit of giggles because I am sure a tiny blonde
           yelling at the windshield looks a bit ridiculous

4.) I will lay on my horn until you move your dumb@$$ out the way

No where on that sign does it say stop...it doesn't even say yield.  Actually below said sign it says "maintain speed".  Can you not read?!?!?!

This means stop:

If you don't stop at one of these 1-4 above usually happens again.  See how its RED...red is like "danger Will Robinson"...DANGER...STOP your f**king car, not slow down and accelerate through, that would be YIELDING!

If that was the case, you'd see this:

See it even says YIELD.  It means proceed slowly...not STOP. 

Did we learn something today...aside from I had a bit of road rage this morning and want to punch things...?

Sit on it and spin, Mother F**ker!

The age range of men I find attractive is compareable to the ridiculous range of music on my iPod

Seriously though, my cute little pink iPod Nano is an insane hodgepodge of musical genres.  Yes I know I could use my iPhone but I like my little nano and I've had it forever and I have like 2,000 songs.  Clearly I have quite a music collection.  Well my little nano is getting old, it's a 5th generation and I've had it for 6 years.  With that said I still love it to bits BUT it's become temperamental in its old age.  The scroll wheel "sticks".  I freaked for a while because it got stuck on a particular album and wouldn't let me get back to the main menu.  Since then I don't dare take it off shuffle.  At least with shuffle, I still have access to all of it, *whew*. 

Which brings me to the crazy music selection.  It's a gamble what you might get, which makes my runs much more interesting.  For example, my 5K Saturday consisted of me starting with "Bailando", going to "The Wizard and I", switching to "Shameless", popping up with "Enter Sandman" and then to "Get Low".  So we have Latin, Show Tunes, Country, Rock, and Rap.  My friends were dying laughing when I crossed the finish line with "Get Your Roll On" blaring from my earbuds (okay not blaring but you get the idea).  Conclusion, I have AMAZING taste in music. 

This brings me to the reason I said all this.  My "celebrity crushes" range from "OMG, I feel like a creeper even looking at him" to "JFC, he's old enough to be my dad...and then some but dayumn".  How does that happen?!?!?!  I think it goes back to I see "beauty" in everyone.  Is that weird???  Like I can look at a 24 year old and be like, "he's hot" then see his dad and be like "and now I see why".  And were I single, I'd probably go for the dad because 24 year olds are nothing but trouble, right.  Well unless you are 24...actually even then...I'm weird, that is the only explanation.  I don't make a habit of deliberately checking out older or younger peeps for that matter but I am an observer so it happens.  Which is how I made an @$$ out of myself at the store (see this post).  Or maybe it's because the older ones don't look THAT old to me.  As in, I see them and think maaaaaaybe a 10 year gap, only to find out they are mid fifties+ and I don't know how I should feel about that. 

Which this has CLEARLY been going on for a while because I can distinctly remember being YOUNG and having super crushes on Uncle Jesse & Dr. Ross...oh and don't forget Indiana Jones!  Not to mention James Bond...oh but which one?!?!?!  How about the one that came out during my youth.

But as I've said before, age is nothing but a number so who cares.  You can't help who you are attracted to...unless you are an adult and they are children/teens...in that case seek help...PRONTO. 

That's it, that is how the Zombie Apocolypse Starts!!! This is why I have trust issues.

So I got an alert on my phone.

Right, okay...nothing too weird *nervous laughter*.  I read this article and this one.

Ohhhhh okay, its a sample from the 1970's.  I mean nothing WEIRD about that. 

"Using modern sequencing techniques to study blood samples taken more than 30 years ago, researchers have identified a new virus with similarities to hepatitis C and human pegivirus (formerly hepatitis G)." ~ Ewwwww, not cool!  So what are people just not having symptoms???

"Further analysis of more recent samples revealed that many of the people who were infected had cleared the virus. And even those who didn’t were apparently unaffected by the virus." ~ Ah, okay.  Still, not cool.

"...the role of this new virus in liver and other diseases remains to be elucidated," ~ Ummm that doesn't sound good.  So we found it, we show no symptoms from it but we don't know what harm it does or how to "cure" it. 

I feel like there is a whole group of science people going "move along, there's nothing to see here, move along", meanwhile this "harmless" virus is how we all turn into rabid cheetahs on speed.  In 30 years someone will find this "study"  and be like, "so this is where it all began". 

Yea it was discovered in blood samples from the 70's BUT what if its a dormant virus and is activated by all this "research".   Someone call Robert Neville or Shaun or Daryl Dixon, $hits about to get real.

Apparently this isn't a rock solid excuse............

It gets you an especially weird stare when you are in fact a "supervisor".  Oh God, sometimes I can't help my weirdness!!!

I didn't do anything THAT insane but over the course of time I've said/done things that some may think odd.  It wont make me jobless but it makes my boss roll her eyes and laugh.  So I guess its not "bad" so to say.  It is all in good fun.  And this all didn't happen at once, it's over quite some time but the above is so fitting.   

Evidence:

"NOLA Gurl, there are NOT Vashta Nerada at the end of the hall.  The light went out...please take down the warning signs."

"I am aware that office cleanliness is an issue but the dishes don't need to leave notes on the wall above the sink. This isn't Disney, they can't talk." ~ The most recent note said "please wash me kind sir, I feel so dirty and just want to be clean".  She made the "nerd" reference, not me, Ha! 

"There is not a sentient being living in the microwave, no need to suggest a sacrifice."

"*laughing* It's not funny, the copier is not Bob Marley...the big boss is not amused" ~ in response to a pic left above the copier that said "This copier should be known as Bob Marley because it always be jammin'". Yes I got that from the internet but it was true and I was annoyed.  Plus we ended up with a new copier (the old one was 20 years old!)

"Our office is not haunted or a portal to another universe.  We just work with slobs and you just misplaced your stuff." ~ in response to a sign on my door that said "Enter with caution, possible portal to Universe B". 

"What is 'Pete's world'?  And why do you think that is where your lunch went?" ~ in response to a note on the fridge saying "Either my food got sucked into Pete's World or you ate it.  I am choosing to believe in inter-dimensional travel vs. someone eating my lunch without permission."  

"The janitor is not an alien, well to this country yes but not this planet.  And I don't know what a Slitheen is but I don't believe he is one." ~ trust me when I say this is the only logical explanation for his actions. 

"Who are the Winchester's and why do we need to call them?"

 'There is no NOLA Gurl, only Zuul' is not how you tell someone you are in fact in your office.

We are not going to "Salt and Burn" your desk.  It isn't haunted, the floor just isn't level.  ~ Sure that's what they all say.

Apparently when the A/C is broken the appropriate statement is not "I'm sweating like a whore in church." 


I know there are a ton more but I can't think of them right now.  No pics because then you may figure out where I work and I've already had a stalker show up here...sorry. 

Side Note: I am not being unprofessional, I've been here for 10 years and worked with mostly the same people.  We are a goofy bunch, my goofiness just happens to include a lot of nerd references.  Just because you wouldn't have me on your team doesn't mean I am not appreciated here. 

“There’s no point in being grown up if you can’t be childish sometimes.” ~ Fourth Doctor

This is important...

...a bit graphic but it's important!!!  I try not to go all serious too often on here but I was almost the one in five.  I got "lucky" but it should NEVER happen.  To women, to men, to children, to anyone.  You have no right to claim another person's body without their permission...EVER!

Lady Gaga released a new video for a song called "Til it happens to you". 

Here is an article talking about the video.

Physics, eh? Physics, physics, physics, physics, physics, physcis. Physics!

What is physics?  It is the branch of science concerned with the nature and properties of matter and energy.

So there is this whole "thing" where we say two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time.  It is a relatively simple concept.  If two bodies (solid objects) tried to occupy the same physical space, the forces which control the sub-atomic spacing of the elements would immediately and catastrophically force the occupied space into the VOLUME required for both objects, essentially an explosion.

So in really simple terms if my vehicle is in the the left lane and your vehicle is in the right lane and you try to come over INTO the left lane where my car is located BAD THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN!  And turning on your BLINKER doesn't just "fix" it.   It actually does NOTHING to warn me if you are so close to me that I can't see the f**king thing in the first place.  Ahhhh I hate driving!!!

Side Note - I was looking for the above gif and I found one that is "cut" weird and it is wrong on so many levels.....or I have an extremely sick mind......I am thinking a combo of the two. 

What is happening here!?!?!?!  I like physics and all but...  And isn't he in a school here...of CHILDREN...its so suggestive...its so many levels of wrong Wrong Wroooong WRONG.  And I am laughing hysterically because OMG that isn't right. 

Drugs are bad mmm'kay...and so are idle minds...or is that hands...I'm really bad at these words of wisdom

Driving in a neighboring parish I was behind what looked like some sort of police vehicle.  As I got closer, I could read what was on the back, "Meth Lab Response Team".  What?!?  I mean I know we have "Narcotics" teams but when did we start having teams specific to the type of drug??? 

Then I thought about it and realized they are probably HIGHLY specialized because Meth Labs are a bit volatile.  Add in the ones that are mobile (yes there are mobile meth labs...one blew on the interstate a few years back) and you have a 2 ton bomb on wheels, *I so scared*.   So I guess that kind of response team makes quite a bit of sense but it is terrifying to think that the threat is present enough to warrant the creation of such a team. 

In other news I made an ice...thing and I don't know how....

It's a unicorn ice.  It's the last of its kind...and I killed it *muahahaha*.  I laughed as it melted away in my lime water, "Mmmm tastes like extermination".  Wait...ewwwww.  Sorry, sorry, I'll stop channeling my inner pepper pot serial killer.  It's like it froze mid-splash...but I don't have THAT good of a freezer.  I'm lucky if my ice trays freeze after hours of being in there.  How did this happen?????  Maybe my freezer is trying to kill me...

Moving on.  I saw Speedy smacking his lips and kind of foaming a bit around the mouth,"hmmm odd".  Concerned  what he could possibly have gotten into now, I yelled.  He shook his head and I saw something fall on the floor *raised eyebrow*.  Hmmm, it looks like "Ahhh ewww" *drops it back on the floor* WTF?!?!

Please ignore my neglected nails

Yes, that is what you think it is, I think...well as long as you think its some sort of arachnid.  All that is left is the body and ONE leg.  And can I just say, I am not scared of spiders (obviously, I am holding its remains) but that "body" is quite large for my liking.  He's fine so I am thinking not poisonous BUT why is my house suddenly the real life set of Arachnophobia?!?!  Two days before this he started jumping around shaking his head and we found a half dead (shoosh) LARGE house spider on the floor.  Recently, I've cleared WAY more webs from my corners than I'd like to admit.  And we've both been the victim of tiny spiders crawling on us while sitting on the couch.  Did I drop acid and forget???  I don't understand!!! I use Home Defense and I've been using it for YEARS with no issues!  It's tag line is "Kills bugs inside, keeps bugs out!"!!! It keeps everything else out...WTH!?!?!

Ahhhhhhh!

(insert thing you disagree with) is the DEVIL ~ Mama Boucher

Driving in to work, stopped in traffic, "Lalalaaaaaaaahhhhhhh what the f**k is that?!!?"

*raspy voice* "Come play with me"

Sweet baby Jes...Spongebob has been places, he's seen things.  He has been scorched by the hell-fire and lived to tell the tale.  He is now traveling the country on to warn us of what awaits should we continue on our heathenish path.  Or he is trying to tempt me to the dark side.  I haven't quite decided which one it is yet. Maybe if they have cookies (kidding). 

Speaking of hellish...things...WTF is this supposed to mean!?!?!?

Is this implying women are the devil in disguise, sent here to lead you astray?!?!?!  Listen here d**kwad, at least if you are going to make a "point" use proper sentences, *This speakS volumeS to me.  And if you ever want to get laid again, I suggest NOT comparing females to demons.  Yea yea, it says "adulterous" female in the text but wouldn't the SAME apply to an adulterous male?  Women aren't evil, men aren't evil, people aren't evil...INDIVIDUALS are evil.  Stop generalizing!  My point is, it is dumb.

Then I saw this and wanted to stab my eyeballs out.

First off, ew.  Nothing should be COVERED in the blood of ANYONE.  I know his "blood" is a metaphor for the sacrifice made to save us lowly creatures.  But, I REALLY want to post something so outrageous in response... And not because I want to knock their faith but because these same persons feel they have the "right" to bash my beliefs, attack me, and put me down for thinking differently.  NOT religion per se but other things I've posted about...like Equality, Racism, Rights, etc.  Anyways, I'm thinking pics....


Like this:

He is my fav movie devil

Or this:

The Devils Advocate

But I wont because then my mom will see it and I'll get an earful for being an @$$hole.  Which I'm really not trying to belittle their beliefs, I just don't...*ugh* Here and there is whatever but if you have to profess this to social media everyday that you are "Christian" and then act like a jerk-off to everyone who doesn't agree with you, you may have other issues...

Yes, yes good on you to have a very strong faith BUT I do not think Satan or Jesus checks your Facebook page.  And unless you somehow blessed the server where your page is hosted, your "page" isn't covered by anything accept web-crawlers trying to figure out your online patterns to post weirdo ads to your oh so "sacred" page.  So be careful when you are browsing for Porn sermons, Jesus/Satan may see it. 

Aaldkjsofsidowejsfissdfjk *internal fangirling*

That was the only thing my mind could come up with.  So I was on a "mission".  I had to go to the store and take a pic with a product in order to get credit with one of those free product companies.  Not a pic of a product, a pic WITH the product...so a product selfie.  I didn't feel the least bit ridiculous doing that, nope...not at all *rolling eyes*. 

Anyways, I finished my "mission" and did some shopping.  Whilst walking around with the most random products I spotted an older attractive gentleman down an aisle, near where I'd selfied.  I wont deny, I totally checked him out (he looked cute).  That's when he looked right at me and smiled.  And my brain checked out. 

At this point all I could focus on were his blue eyes.  So he smiled...I smiled...my brain forgot how to work so I tripped over NOTHING, dropped everything in my arms and did that awkward running trip thing catching myself on the shelving at the end of the aisle.  You know, trying to play it off...and utterly failing. 

He looked like f**king Paul McGann. In my head the 8th Doctor was looking at me and I forgot how to brain.  This happened in probably 5 seconds, maybe less.  He laughed, I turned every shade of red known to man plus two more.  I scrambled to pick up my stuff, gave a shy shrug, a manic smile and bolted.  

Now, I am 99.999999% certain it was not actually him but he looked so much like him.  Seriously, this was his f**king twin! But not like the look from the movie.  Like how he looked in that Mini Episode before the 50th Anniversary. 

By the time I checked out and got to my car I was a giggling mess.  That poor man must think I am a nut.  C'est la vie.

7:30AM is not the time to have an existential crisis...

I wasn't prepared to think yet!  So I got a call...here is how it went.

Me: *barely functioning* This is NOLA Gurl, how can I help you?
Person:  Hi, NOLA Gurl.  This is Ted from (insert customer name).
Me: *confused* Hi... (I didn't recognize him as a contact)
Person: *realizing my confusion* I took Bob's place...he's dead
Me: *suddenly awake* *loss for words* *dammit brain start working* *silence*
Person: I need your help
Me: *brain reboot* Right, okay.  I am, I am so, so sorry to hear that...
Person: *in monotone voice* Well we all get old and then one day we don't get old anymore
Me: *thinking* WTF?!?!!? *said* True...*nervous laugh* Uuuum, so what can I help you with...

I barely caught what he was asking me because I was pondering what he said about "getting old".  I mean there was zero finesse about it but he had a point.  What is the meaning of my life?!?!?!  *hears a whisper* 42.  Dammit Deep Thought, not now!

Side Note:  In case you weren't aware or don't feel like thinking (like me right now), "An existential crisis is a moment at which an individual questions the very foundations of their life: whether their life has any meaning, purpose, or value. This issue of the meaning and purpose of existence is the topic of the philosophical school of existentialism"

I need a break...So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish...I've got my towel ready...time to Hitch a ride....I hear there's a great restaurant at the End of the Universe.

I'ma stop now...I have pondering to do.   

Haters gonna hate, hate, hate... hate, hate....hate....

How many should I put?!?!?  I wasn't going to post anything "serious" today.  I did my remembrance on the 10 year anniversary and while I'll never forget, I wont rehash it every year.  With that said, OMG people are brutal!

I have no idea who this is, I just saw the screenshot

I don't think that is what that means.  First of all at least spell $hit right if you are going to be an @$$hat.  Second, you can't fix anything with hate.  That is ignorant and just makes everything 10 times worse.  Being hateful towards EVERYONE who happens to be Muslim/Middle Eastern because a few extremist went all ape$hit isn't going to fix ANYTHING!  This hurt.  To see that much seething hatred, it is unnecessary.  Of course we should NEVER forget.  It was a horrible day and many perished but you can't blame an entire religion or part of the world for the actions of a few.  Yes there are many who probably supported this action (and they are bad or misguided people, sorry) but there are also others who were horrified to be associated with it.  There are extremists in EVERY religion/culture.  There are Christians I'd rather not be associated with and I have to say all the time "not all of us think like that". 

Then I saw this...

Yea it may not be beneficial to us to take in 10,000 refugees but that isn't really the point.  This statement isn't based on the problems caused by an influx of refugees, this is based on who and where the refugees are from. Where is your bible thumping bull$hit now?  Doesn't it say something about helping those less fortunate, in need, whatever.  These people seem to be in need.  Or should we turn our backs because they aren't the same religion?  Wouldn't you want the world to help us if something terrible happened here or would you want them to shut their borders and write us off as a total loss because we are "stupid Americans"? 

Of course this should be thought through very carefully...I mean the world economy is basically collapsing and taking on more people could be detrimental for any country. But the crazed hatred is still unnecessary.  Yes I know people who fought overseas after 9/11 and I know they suffered greatly because of some of the hateful people over there.  It's a f**ked up situation all around.  I just don't think using 9/11 as a "prop" is the way to go. 

Do I want to endanger my country, its citizens?  Of course not! I just want us to get passed all the prejudice/racist/extremist bull$hit.  

This song may not be about issues today (it is from 1992) but it sure hits home when you listen to it considering all the crap happening in the here and now.

We Shall Be Free by Garth Brooks

History of the song

I'ma post the lyrics too because they are meaningful to me.

This ain't comin' from no prophet
Just an ordinary man
When I close my eyes I see
The way this world shall be
When we all walk hand in hand

When the last child cries for a crust of bread
When the last man dies for just words that he said
When there's shelter over the poorest head
We shall be free

When the last thing we notice is the color of skin
And the first thing we look for is the beauty within
When the skies and the oceans are clean again
Then we shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
Stand straight, walk proud
'Cause we shall be free

When we're free to love anyone we choose
When this world's big enough for all different views
When we all can worship from our own kind of pew
Then we shall be free
We shall be free

We shall be free
Have a little faith
Hold out
'Cause we shall be free

And when money talks for the very last time
And nobody walks a step behind
When there's only one race and that's mankind
Then we shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
Stand straight, walk proud, have a little faith, hold out
We shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
Stand straight, have a little faith

We shall be free

I have a filthy mind...I'm going to hell...in a hand basket...with bells on...

And so is everyone else who commented on this!

What am I looking at?!?!!?  Why are there giant red penis looking things all over S.E. Louisiana?!?!?  That gives a whole other meaning to being f**ked by Mother Nature...  What was in that rain??!?!  No wonder my plants started growing like crazy...

You know you see it too!  And don't tell me "it looks like nuns walking in prayer" because we all know you only came up with THAT so you wouldn't seem as heathenish as the rest of us.

Stop killing animals! Humans aren't carnivores, we are omnivores!

WHAT!?!??!!?  Sugar, do you know the definition of an omnivore?  It is an animal (person) that survives on food of both animal and plant origin.  Animal origin is meat, as in: Beef, Chicken, Pork, Seafood, etc. Look it up!

Humans are classic examples of omnivores in all relevant anatomical traits. There is no basis in anatomy or physiology for the assumption that humans are pre-adapted to the vegetarian diet. For that reason, the best arguments in support of a meat-free diet remain ecological, ethical, and health concerns.

I thought maybe they meant vegetarians but no, they didn't.   Someone else replied before I saw it, saying something similar to the above and their response was just...wow.  "No, not vegetarians.  We still need meat but we don't have to kill animals for it.  We can just go to the store." (I'm paraphrasing) WHAT?!!??!  Well, this post was a wild ride of non-sense from start to finish.

Now I've read a "stupid tweet/post" that went viral saying something similar and remember thinking "do people really think like that!?!? That can't be real!" but COME ON I am related to this person!  Surely they are kidding........making fun of that other post..........right........no.........f**k!  

How do we share DNA???  Are we becoming that dim-witted???  Meat at the grocery was once a living creature (well for now...until they start growing pieces in a lab...*shudder*).  Do these "youngins" not know that? Do they not realize that the pork chop they are consuming used to be Wilbur??? I can understand a young CHILD not really "knowing" but if you are over the age of 12 (I'm being generous here), you know where meat at the store comes from.........it's people, no wait that's Soylent Green.  

I have a request, can we change the status of Idiocracy from "fictional" to "documentary"?

It's what plants crave. . .

 And no I'm not knocking vegetarians or vegans.  If  you choose not to eat meat, whatever.

P.S. The reason there isn't a screen shot is because it was removed about a second after I read It and the 5 responses asking if they were dumb/drunk/high.  

That is being blatantly two faced...to my FACE! I'ma start calling you Harvey Dent.

How can you sit here and listen to me talk about my two friends who happen to be gay and have been together FOREVER! Talk about how it sounds like their pup is their kid, etc.  Being all happy and smiling and saying how it sounds like they are a GREAT couple.  And then turn around and rant to me about the stupid clerk situation in Kentucky!!!  And tell me how she should stand for her religious right or whatever.  How the f**k...what the f**k...I am clearly not on the side of "she is right".  I've made it clear that I do not agree.  How can you sit there and think that that is an okay conversation to have with me??? And don't give me the stink eye when I say she is stupid.  Don't throw scripture at me about "gay" people.  Because there are a A LOT of weirdo "sins" from the Bible that NO ONE adheres to. They are using the Bible as a justification to persecute others. If you want to follow the rules...follow all of them. Stop eating pork, don't wear leather & cotton, stop getting your hair cut & shaving, etc, etc, etc.  Hell by the Bible's standards my dad and stepmom should have been stoned or something because they are both divorced and remarried.

"Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery." (Luke 16:18)

Rambles
More Rambles 

What if it was a DIFFERENT religion standing up for something?  Would you still agree?  No you would be like me, you lousy hypocrite!  You would say that is your JOB!  If the rules of said job clash with your beliefs and you can no longer do that job, find another f**king job! That lady in KY is a government official.  The court ruled anyone can marry...you MUST adhere or resign.  That isn't religious persecution...they aren't telling her she isn't allowed to be Christian, just that there is a new take on a law.  End of discussion. 

And then to go on yet another rant about how because of THAT situation schools want unisex bathrooms.  What?!?!!?  How does?!?!?  Sorry boo, those are completely unrelated situations.

I am not being rude, I'm just refusing to converse with ignorance.  We may not believe the same things yet I am still nice to you but when I POLITELY disagree with you, you are an @$$hole to me.  That's not very Christian.

"Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke [reason with] thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him. Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the Lord." (Leviticus 19: 17-18)


You can have you beliefs without forcing them on everyone around you.  I'm not knocking any religion or non religion.  I preach acceptance...of EVERYONE!

I don't want to be hugged by a bear...bears have claws and sharp teeth and are like 10 feet tall...I'll just stick to slobbery puppy hugs, thanks

So I was leaving an appointment and my contact said "Peace, Love, and Bear Hugs", to which I smiled and said "Bye".  Then I stopped in my tracks...wait...

...but when I turned around they were gone.  Was she wishing me well or threatening me?  I think I felt threatened.  Bear hugs don't sound pleasant, they sound painful.  I know, I know...a "bear hug" is normally referring to a super tight squeeze someone gives you. If you are little (like me), many times you are lifted off the ground as well.  But at this point all I can think of is a rabid Yogi coming at me with claws out and that's just terrifying!

Yes, I know its a Koala but I couldn't find a rabid Yogi pic, so it seemed fitting

Moving on, later I saw this.

It is tagged as "Cute Christmas Cookies".  Sorry, but that is NOT cute...it's a tad morbid!  That is Frosty and friends in the throws of death! You killed my snowman! What kind of mom does that?!?! Okay I find it "cute" but I also have a bit of a dark sense of humor.  I'd probably serve them to kids if they were misbehaving and say "you see what you made me do! Now Frosty won't be able to help Santa."  Then again I don't have kids of my own and that would probably be frowned upon as scarring or something.

Next subject, what on Earth does this even mean?!?!

Is this the newest bat$hit crazy movement?!?!?!  No $hit porn can't be my significant other but who the f**k thinks that is the case???  People use porn because they don't HAVE someone to spend that kind of time with...usually.  And if this is directed at married/committed persons who watch porn instead of being with their family then those "persons" should have a chat with their sig other.  If this is directed at those who are "addicted" to porn (see Don Jon) then yea I kind of get it (not really) but those people probably have other underlying issues and they aren't the majority.  Yes there are sex addicts but it wasn't caused by watching porn, its caused by irregular brain things.

This is stupid.  Like really stupid.  Like this is a joke, right?  Nope, it isn't.  I don't get it.  I don't partake in that industry but I've seen videos.  I still don't think there needs to be a movement against it.  If you want to watch a chick get it up the @$$ from a guy dressed as a donkey, while you get off, that's your thing (sorry for the visual).  If you want to get your partner into your fetish...that could be good or bad or maybe you should have a different partner. 

My point is I find this ridiculous.  Porn doesn't break up relationships or cause sex crimes, it is just the scapegoat.  There are other factors at work here but watching people have rough/different/fantastical sex on a video is being blamed.  Yea some of it is WAY out there but come on.  If you can't distinguish between fantasy and reality there is something else going on with you.  If your hubby is watching that and you don't like it then maybe you should have a chat.  Or if your boyfriend wants to "hurt" you during fun times because he saw it online and you don't like that...you may want to find a new boyfriend. 

People are varying levels of f**ked up.  The porn industry realized that and is making a profit off of it.  Look, if there is a market out there to watch Daleks in sexual situations, there is a market out there for everything.  You can't fault them for exploiting it.  People will get their jollies somehow...at least with porn its usually not harming another person. 

I need a cold shower, pronto

I'm usually not like this but good lord my coworker (and dear friend) brings out the worst best in me.  How on Earth we go from a serious-ish discussion about "This is Where I Leave You" (good movie, check it out) to ogling hot men on the internet and discussing why "even though 300 had a plot we were also enjoying the eye candy", is beyond me.

We were loud and full of giggles (befitting of a couple of 30+ year olds).  Its okay we are basically the only people here but STILL!  So here we are discussing The Rock's arms, Gerard Butler's abs and Brad Pitt's butt when our delivery guy showed up.  We were talking about the movie "Troy" where I STG my friend just finished saying in reference to the butt scene "Yea, get it boy...take her virginity" while I am crying laughing.  Look, he's been our delivery guy for 8 years, we love him and I think he enjoys us since he always seems to show up when we are being 100% ridiculous. Not to mention he isn't bad to look at either.  So of course when he popped his head in my office our girlish giggles turned into full belly laughs, silents laughs and near snorting. 

He CLEARLY heard everything we had said and was grinning ear to ear.  He said since we liked 300 so much he may come dressed as Leonidas for Halloween to give us a treat *wink*.  OMG, what?!?!  Hold up, how long was he listening?!?!? Wait wait wait, I am married, she is married...he is married...this is WILDLY inappropriate.  And while no one can look as good as Gerard Butler (DAYUM!) in 300, I am thinking he wouldn't look too shabby *tilting head to the side* (stop, bad, don't think like that, WTH woman, geez I'm just as bad as those guys I talk about...no wait...no I'm not).  My friend and I made eye contact and once again burst into school girl giggles as he tried to hide his smug smile...he knew we would enjoy that sight...cocky bastard *eye roll*.

But it didn't end there...after he left we kept discussing half nekkid sexy men in movies and it was just amazeballs.  She said she had a crush on this secondary-ish character from 300 which turned out to be one my "types" from a previous post...who now stars on Dominion.  More giggling ensued.  Like so much that our IT came see if we were okay.  When he realized what we were discussing he laughed and said "I love HUMP day."

OMG what is wrong with us?!?  I'll tell you what's wrong...both our husbands have been working almost non stop in the last few weeks...that's what happened.  Which means WE have hilarious discussions like this, watch movies/TV Shows like the ones we were talking about and delve into porn.  I'm not much into that last one so instead I will read hot & steamy fanfics (rather than my not usually sexy Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels) and ogle my fav characters on TV.  *pause* *rewind* "Oooooo nice" *rinse* *repeat*.  Stop judging me, I need a cold shower.