That is the only explanation. I have somehow been zapped back into the dark ages. Or maybe the early 1900's. Or maybe I am in a totally different universe, as in Game of Thrones. You know where is is acceptable for men to think they can control women! Even in Game of Thrones they are trying to break that habit (hello, Asha...Cersi...Arya...)!
But alas it is 2014 and I want to punch someone so bad I am shaking! I wont go into complete details but there was drama. I mean all out stupid "on Wednesdays we wear pink " type drama (as in High School). Yet we aren't in High School, much less the movie mean girls so why all the drama?!?!?
I'll tell you why. Because someone who happens to have a penis thinks he can tell the rest of us (who don't have that appendage) what we can and cannot do. And this isn't a boss-man. A boss-man has the right to BOSS you around some (he signs your paycheck). No this person isn't any of our bosses, he's not a policeman or anything like that, he just happens to share our bloodline. Seriously, why should anyone care who I (we) talk to...family is
family...why should I not speak to someone because you have a beef with,
not them, but their "other" family. So because of that we cannot associate with our family. I, just...what?!
Listen up you Lannister wanna be. You ain't my daddy and you ain't my husband (which in GoT could be one in the same) and even if you were I still wouldn't listen. You know why? Because I am a grown ass woman and there is no flipping way I am going to let you tell me (or the other females) what I can and cannot do. And if I ever here you say "*she* should have known her place" in front of me, holding back a slap will be very difficult. Granted this phrase wasn't directed at me but another female and I wasn't there when it was said. But who says that??? That is like the ultimate verbal slap to any female. It almost as bad as "shhh, the men are talking" or "why don't you go fix me a sandwich". Ya know what F you, you F-ing, F-er! I don't care if we are related you will not speak to anyone like that!
And be glad this isn't GoT, because if it was your ass would have been poisoned by now or shot with an arrow while on the loo by the son you don't really claim.
Having peen does not give you privileges. Having no peen does not take away my rights. Basically being male/female/undecided does not mean others have to bend to your will. We are all human get over yourself!
Ugh, I cannot believe this even happened. The nerve!
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Monday, August 25, 2014
Black wittle baby
I think I had the best misheard lyrics moment EVER! This is a few weeks old but every time I hear the song now I laugh hysterically. When the song first came out I would hear that and think that is the strangest thing for her to be saying and would change the station before I actually listened to the rest of the lyrics thinking it was just as silly as the singing in the shower song. Sorry but that song although it has a good beat irritates me for some reason.
Anyways, I was in the car with the husband and this song came on and he said "Comparing yourself to a black widow may limit your choice of men" or something along those lines. I said "huh". And he said "this song...she is saying how she's like a Black Widow...." I lost it laughing. Like crying and snorting and he was like what in the world. So I said "*hiccup* hahahahaha, okay okay so I swear I thought she was saying *snort* "like a Black Wittle Baby", *bahahhahaha* and for the life of me couldn't figure out why Iggy Azalea would be singing about that." He just stared at me. Since then I have listened to the rest of of the lyrics and it is clear why he stared at me like I was from Mars. There is no reason to "love" anyone like a wittle baby regardless of the color of said baby.
I actually like the song a lot more now that I am no longer confused.
Black Widow Lyrics
Anyways, I was in the car with the husband and this song came on and he said "Comparing yourself to a black widow may limit your choice of men" or something along those lines. I said "huh". And he said "this song...she is saying how she's like a Black Widow...." I lost it laughing. Like crying and snorting and he was like what in the world. So I said "*hiccup* hahahahaha, okay okay so I swear I thought she was saying *snort* "like a Black Wittle Baby", *bahahhahaha* and for the life of me couldn't figure out why Iggy Azalea would be singing about that." He just stared at me. Since then I have listened to the rest of of the lyrics and it is clear why he stared at me like I was from Mars. There is no reason to "love" anyone like a wittle baby regardless of the color of said baby.
I actually like the song a lot more now that I am no longer confused.
Black Widow Lyrics
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
I don't...I don't understand...no comprendo...estoy confundida
I am really trying not to be nit picky but I really think some people need to re-evaluate their jobs. Seriously, if the highlight of your day is calling me to tell me you are going to send me an email something is off. If you like talking to me, fine whatever but if you are going to email info over to me, um, just do it. I don't need to be forewarned. I am not just sitting here waiting for people to call me. I have stuff going on but I am required to answer the phone. So you are stopping me from helping others with your unnecessary call. Plus, 99.9% of the time I need it in writing anyway so calling me before hand is just delaying what you need to get done because while you are calling, others are emailing me their requests and they are in cue before you now.
Also, if you send me an email courtesy says wait an hour (at least) before following up. Don't hit send and then call me. Mainly because more than half the time I don't have it yet. Firewalls, etc. can cause a bit of a delay. So you are calling me saying "hey I sent you an email" and I am going "um no you didn't". Then I am frantically searching thinking I deleted it or missed it and then you say "oh like I just sent it". Alright, you could have started out with that. If its an emergency, send it *URGENT* High Priority. It will jump to the top of my list and I will reply saying "got it, I will let you know once completed". Calling right after you send it does nothing but waste both our time.
I guess it just baffles me. I am all about email, mainly because I have a record of what is said. If I need to I will call but then I usually follow up with an "per our conversation" email. That is mainly just a courtesy to make sure we all heard the same thing.
My point is why call to tell me you are or have emailed me??? My voice isn't that pretty. I sound like a hyper 12 year old most days. Tiny voice for a tiny person. Yes, I do joke around with the ones that call and make them and myself laugh which is fun but now I can't go to lunch because I spent 10 minutes on the phone so you could explain the situation, unfortunately I still need it in an email before I can do anything and apparently it is an Emergency...must be done ASAP. Eh, who needs to eat....
Also, if you send me an email courtesy says wait an hour (at least) before following up. Don't hit send and then call me. Mainly because more than half the time I don't have it yet. Firewalls, etc. can cause a bit of a delay. So you are calling me saying "hey I sent you an email" and I am going "um no you didn't". Then I am frantically searching thinking I deleted it or missed it and then you say "oh like I just sent it". Alright, you could have started out with that. If its an emergency, send it *URGENT* High Priority. It will jump to the top of my list and I will reply saying "got it, I will let you know once completed". Calling right after you send it does nothing but waste both our time.
I guess it just baffles me. I am all about email, mainly because I have a record of what is said. If I need to I will call but then I usually follow up with an "per our conversation" email. That is mainly just a courtesy to make sure we all heard the same thing.
My point is why call to tell me you are or have emailed me??? My voice isn't that pretty. I sound like a hyper 12 year old most days. Tiny voice for a tiny person. Yes, I do joke around with the ones that call and make them and myself laugh which is fun but now I can't go to lunch because I spent 10 minutes on the phone so you could explain the situation, unfortunately I still need it in an email before I can do anything and apparently it is an Emergency...must be done ASAP. Eh, who needs to eat....
Monday, August 18, 2014
It is not always about you!
I feel like screaming this sometimes. It drives me crazy when you are talking to someone and they always turn the situation to them. I am not talking about being sympathetic or having a similar experience and adding to your story. I am talking about just hijacking what you are trying to say.
If I am telling a story and I say "look, I get it. I know she is bat shit crazy". That is not a stab at you. Just because both of you happen to be "ex-wives", me saying another ex wife is loca does not mean I am implying you are as well. Or if I am saying how I told someone how ridiculous I feel a situation might be. Don't say "well tell them its ridiculous. if I said that you would attack me." Um did I not just say I said that. Stop flipping this around. This situation has zero to do with you.
I can only glaze over it so long before I snap and today I snapped. It wasn't nice but it had to be said. I actually said "it is NOT always about you! You are not 'bat shit crazy'. There is no animosity between you and your ex like there is with her. Stop fishing for compliments or I will start telling people you are bat shit crazy!".
I don't mean to be mean but stop trying to get me to say "aw no honey you're wonderful" because I got about 3 hours of sleep and am not in the mood to deal with your shit.
If I am telling a story and I say "look, I get it. I know she is bat shit crazy". That is not a stab at you. Just because both of you happen to be "ex-wives", me saying another ex wife is loca does not mean I am implying you are as well. Or if I am saying how I told someone how ridiculous I feel a situation might be. Don't say "well tell them its ridiculous. if I said that you would attack me." Um did I not just say I said that. Stop flipping this around. This situation has zero to do with you.
I can only glaze over it so long before I snap and today I snapped. It wasn't nice but it had to be said. I actually said "it is NOT always about you! You are not 'bat shit crazy'. There is no animosity between you and your ex like there is with her. Stop fishing for compliments or I will start telling people you are bat shit crazy!".
I don't mean to be mean but stop trying to get me to say "aw no honey you're wonderful" because I got about 3 hours of sleep and am not in the mood to deal with your shit.
Friday, August 15, 2014
I officially live in the swamp
Okay so I don't live in "the" city or even a close suburb. I live further out...not rural but more rural then say Kenna Brah. I encounter strange creatures all the time. Things that unless you live near a waterway or woods you normally don't see in a subdivision.
The first time I saw an armadillo in my back yard I was taken aback. Armadillos don't live in neighborhoods! Of course then the dogs tried to play with it (or kill it, not sure exactly) and it curled up in a ball and I was yelling because rabies, hello! Anyways since then I have seen some strange things when in my backyard in a seemingly suburban area.
Last night was no exception. I was watching Shark After Dark when my pups decided they needed to go outside, NOW! Okay okay geez. So we went out into the night. I don't turn on the back porch light because it attracts bugs and then they fly inside when I open the door. Plus with less light I can see the sky better. So I was gazing at the stars when I heard the dogs take off running *crap*. I can't see that well and it was late so I stayed on the patio whispering loudly "come here!" I could barely make out their profiles along the back fence. Old man lost interest first and went inside but convict was just staring into the night. *dammit dog, grumble*. Finally after a few minutes he came to my side but still wouldn't go to the door. He was just staring away from the house. He started whining and looking at me like "don't you see it!" and I was like "uh no and I am not sure I want to". Then out of no where something the size of a small bird goes zipping passed my face screeching. I am talking high pitched, ear drum busting screech. I hit the deck, quite literally...no really that is going to leave a bruise *sigh*. And he took off running after it. It slammed into the bushes not far from me. I only knew where it went because the bush was shaking.
Convict was staring at the bush, ears up, curious stare, whining. I was in ninja crouching tiger stance, as in standing, bent knees, ready to pounce...not sure what I was going to do but it felt like the right way to stand. Of course, me being curious by nature walked up to the bush to investigate instead of high tailing it inside. I am not sure what I expected, it was very dark. So I nudged the bush with my foot, nothing. Hmmm maybe it flew off in all the commotion. So I nudged it harder, still nothing. If this was a comedy/horror it would have attacked my face at this point but since I don't live in a movie that (thankfully) did not happen. Convict was still staring so clearly something was in there. At this point logic should have told me to abandon my quest and go to bed. Logic be damned! I got really close to the bush and started peering inside. I heard a scuffle and jumped back. I crept back up (seriously why was I not going inside) and peered in again. That's when something caught the faint glow of the street light. Two rather large glowing eyes were staring back at me. Did I scream and run??? Nope, I said "hi there, and what are you?" Then my brain FINALLY kicked in and I was like hmmmmmm maybe just maybe I should leave this tiny creature alone before it eats my face. So I dragged convict inside and went to bed.
I am thinking it was a bat. I've seen bats flying way up high at night before but I've never had one dive at my face screeching. I'm calling this close encounters of the bat kind.
The first time I saw an armadillo in my back yard I was taken aback. Armadillos don't live in neighborhoods! Of course then the dogs tried to play with it (or kill it, not sure exactly) and it curled up in a ball and I was yelling because rabies, hello! Anyways since then I have seen some strange things when in my backyard in a seemingly suburban area.
Last night was no exception. I was watching Shark After Dark when my pups decided they needed to go outside, NOW! Okay okay geez. So we went out into the night. I don't turn on the back porch light because it attracts bugs and then they fly inside when I open the door. Plus with less light I can see the sky better. So I was gazing at the stars when I heard the dogs take off running *crap*. I can't see that well and it was late so I stayed on the patio whispering loudly "come here!" I could barely make out their profiles along the back fence. Old man lost interest first and went inside but convict was just staring into the night. *dammit dog, grumble*. Finally after a few minutes he came to my side but still wouldn't go to the door. He was just staring away from the house. He started whining and looking at me like "don't you see it!" and I was like "uh no and I am not sure I want to". Then out of no where something the size of a small bird goes zipping passed my face screeching. I am talking high pitched, ear drum busting screech. I hit the deck, quite literally...no really that is going to leave a bruise *sigh*. And he took off running after it. It slammed into the bushes not far from me. I only knew where it went because the bush was shaking.
Convict was staring at the bush, ears up, curious stare, whining. I was in ninja crouching tiger stance, as in standing, bent knees, ready to pounce...not sure what I was going to do but it felt like the right way to stand. Of course, me being curious by nature walked up to the bush to investigate instead of high tailing it inside. I am not sure what I expected, it was very dark. So I nudged the bush with my foot, nothing. Hmmm maybe it flew off in all the commotion. So I nudged it harder, still nothing. If this was a comedy/horror it would have attacked my face at this point but since I don't live in a movie that (thankfully) did not happen. Convict was still staring so clearly something was in there. At this point logic should have told me to abandon my quest and go to bed. Logic be damned! I got really close to the bush and started peering inside. I heard a scuffle and jumped back. I crept back up (seriously why was I not going inside) and peered in again. That's when something caught the faint glow of the street light. Two rather large glowing eyes were staring back at me. Did I scream and run??? Nope, I said "hi there, and what are you?" Then my brain FINALLY kicked in and I was like hmmmmmm maybe just maybe I should leave this tiny creature alone before it eats my face. So I dragged convict inside and went to bed.
I am thinking it was a bat. I've seen bats flying way up high at night before but I've never had one dive at my face screeching. I'm calling this close encounters of the bat kind.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Who knew a minion could be so frightening...?
So sitting in our living room having a chat with the hubs and suddenly we hear "bee do, bee do, bee do". What in the world?!?!?! The TV was on mute and neither one of us have THAT as a ringtone (which now I totally want it as my text tone). We just stared at each other, kind of in shock. Then we heard it again. OMG!?! We couldn't tell where it was coming from. Then he picked up his iPad and realized he had been playing some minion game and when he closed the cover it didn't go off like it normally does. So since it was sitting there inactive the minions started talking!
So I started laughing and was like holy shit, can you imagine if that happened at like 2AM. Then I pictured him and I having a "Sam & Dean" moment. Him with the gun & flashlight and me with a baseball bat going all hunter like down the hall way trying to find the creature that was talking. My luck and actual minion would pop out from behind the couch but instead of something adorable it would have razor blade teeth and a hunger for human flesh. Seriously, can you imagine seeing a bright yellow bebette going "bee do, bee do, muak muak, me want banana *snarls not like dog*" while it stares hungrily at you.
I think I'd sh*t a brick! I mean I know how to "banish" evil creatures thanks to extensive reading and watching TV (because ya know everything on TV is true, right). But actually faced with something super creepy...I don't know if I'd react in time.
So that's how my brain works. I take something adorkable and make into something nightmare inducing all because an iPad game made a noise when it shouldn't have.
I have one hell of an imagination, just saying.
So I started laughing and was like holy shit, can you imagine if that happened at like 2AM. Then I pictured him and I having a "Sam & Dean" moment. Him with the gun & flashlight and me with a baseball bat going all hunter like down the hall way trying to find the creature that was talking. My luck and actual minion would pop out from behind the couch but instead of something adorable it would have razor blade teeth and a hunger for human flesh. Seriously, can you imagine seeing a bright yellow bebette going "bee do, bee do, muak muak, me want banana *snarls not like dog*" while it stares hungrily at you.
I think I'd sh*t a brick! I mean I know how to "banish" evil creatures thanks to extensive reading and watching TV (because ya know everything on TV is true, right). But actually faced with something super creepy...I don't know if I'd react in time.
So that's how my brain works. I take something adorkable and make into something nightmare inducing all because an iPad game made a noise when it shouldn't have.
I have one hell of an imagination, just saying.
Friday, August 8, 2014
I just geek'd out in my office...
...my co-workers probably think I am eccentric, and maybe slightly adorable, ha!
We were chatting and someone mentioned Angels and some show they saw previews for but never watched. And I was all um was it like, ahem, Supernatural or Dominion. And they said oh I think that last one. Which launched me into a speech about how, oh my God you need to watch it, it is sooooooooooo good. I mean the pilot episode was a little rough but moving forward it was superb. Seriously, if they don't agree to a season two, I may lose it a bit. And don't even get me started on the crazy characters, evil you love and good you hate and just oooozing hotness. No but really, the attractiveness of the cast should be illegal. *crickets chirping*
Looking up I realized I was being stared at with slack jaws and bug eyes. Oh crap, I let the fangirl out. She just climbed right on out and I didn't even notice. I cleared my throat and said, so yea like y'all should check it out, right, okay.... *moving to leave with my lunch so I can hide at my desk (or under it)*. Then I hear "so do you like Michael or Alex or Gabriel or maybe Claire *wink*." What?!?!? Um...well...I...uh. Hold up! Wait, you watch the show??? Whoohoo, another fan!
Then someone else said "is that the show with the chick from X-Men?" Without thinking I said "no that's Hemlock Grove. Also, known as a bit of a mind f**k o_O." More weird staring. Crap...crap...contain the weirdness woman! (and watch your language) But then questions were asked and I went on another long winded explanation about the show and how if you enjoy supernatural type stuff marathoning it is a MUST! And its on Netflix, super easy to marathon all of season 1 & 2!!! AND a Skarsgård is one of the main stars...win win people! Although I feel kind of oogy thinking he's attractive because he is like super young and stuff...
And what is it with that family?!!? It really should be illegal to have THAT much talent and attractiveness in one family...share the wealth, dammit! *more weird staring but with endearing smiles*. JFC, okay, peace out, going back to my desk before I bust out with anything else strange.
Alas, most I work with are "reality" TV junkies and probably think I am unusual because I prefer fictional television. But because of my glowing reviews I am fairly certain a few of them may check these shows out. Score one for the fangirl *POINTS*.
*muahahahaha* my evil plan is working. You will be assimilated into the nerdom, resistance is futile.
We were chatting and someone mentioned Angels and some show they saw previews for but never watched. And I was all um was it like, ahem, Supernatural or Dominion. And they said oh I think that last one. Which launched me into a speech about how, oh my God you need to watch it, it is sooooooooooo good. I mean the pilot episode was a little rough but moving forward it was superb. Seriously, if they don't agree to a season two, I may lose it a bit. And don't even get me started on the crazy characters, evil you love and good you hate and just oooozing hotness. No but really, the attractiveness of the cast should be illegal. *crickets chirping*
Looking up I realized I was being stared at with slack jaws and bug eyes. Oh crap, I let the fangirl out. She just climbed right on out and I didn't even notice. I cleared my throat and said, so yea like y'all should check it out, right, okay.... *moving to leave with my lunch so I can hide at my desk (or under it)*. Then I hear "so do you like Michael or Alex or Gabriel or maybe Claire *wink*." What?!?!? Um...well...I...uh. Hold up! Wait, you watch the show??? Whoohoo, another fan!
Then someone else said "is that the show with the chick from X-Men?" Without thinking I said "no that's Hemlock Grove. Also, known as a bit of a mind f**k o_O." More weird staring. Crap...crap...contain the weirdness woman! (and watch your language) But then questions were asked and I went on another long winded explanation about the show and how if you enjoy supernatural type stuff marathoning it is a MUST! And its on Netflix, super easy to marathon all of season 1 & 2!!! AND a Skarsgård is one of the main stars...win win people! Although I feel kind of oogy thinking he's attractive because he is like super young and stuff...
And what is it with that family?!!? It really should be illegal to have THAT much talent and attractiveness in one family...share the wealth, dammit! *more weird staring but with endearing smiles*. JFC, okay, peace out, going back to my desk before I bust out with anything else strange.
Alas, most I work with are "reality" TV junkies and probably think I am unusual because I prefer fictional television. But because of my glowing reviews I am fairly certain a few of them may check these shows out. Score one for the fangirl *POINTS*.
*muahahahaha* my evil plan is working. You will be assimilated into the nerdom, resistance is futile.
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