What is a Banshee? A banshee is a fairy woman who begins to wail if someone is about to die. In Scottish mythology, she is known as the bean sìth or bean nighe ("washer woman") and is seen washing the bloodstained clothes or armour of those who are about to die. (Source Wiki, hahaha).
No I wasn't outside washing off bloodstained clothing...I do that inside my house thank you very much. It raises fewer questions from nosy neighbors. What I was doing was letting my pups out to tee tee...really late...like, I probably shouldn't have been awake late....oh and screaming like a banshee. Who knew so many things could happen in the wee hours of the mernin'.
First Speedy whizzed all over the floor before I could let him out. As I opened the door to let him out so I could clean, a 1/2 dead (yes I say 1/2 dead...my hubs says things can't be 1/2 dead...they can be dying...but I disagree. It isn't fully alive, therefore it is 1/2 dead, *plfeet*)...anyway a 1/2 dead dragonfly flew into the house...so dog went out, erratic flying creature came in. *eeeep* I abandoned my mission of cleaning in favor of capturing and releasing the 1/2 dead dragonfly. The problem was I wasn't just trying to catch it...I was also trying to keep a curious kitty (Demon Spawn) from catching and eating it "ewwww". With that said, I was freaking out a bit! I am not frighted of dragonflies...I think they are kinda neat BUT I do have a fear of flying insects getting stuck in my hair (is that a thing because I totally have that). It has happened with a June bug and I was losing my $hit trying not to panic (and failing) but wanting it out of my HAIR 10 minutes ago!
So I am dodging a crazy stalking cat but not wanting to get too close because "OMG what if it gets in my hair?!?!". Soooo I did what any sane person would do...I threw a dishtowel over it to get it out the door. I suddenly heard a ruckus outside, I went to investigate, leaving the flying insect and pee for the hubs to deal with.
I noticed Convict and Speedy "dancing" around my potted plants. Of course I thought "oh wonderful, they cornered a toad....DON'T EAT IT!" I was relaying this to the hubs when convict DOVE into the cluster of plants, WTF?!?! Speedy immediately jumped on his head...double WTF!?!? I ran outside yelling as quietly as I could "Drop it! Drooooooooooop it!!!!" And that is when the light caught Convict's mouth. Gray/Brown fur *screeeeeaaaam* "No no no no no drop it!!!!" The thing is flailing around screeching (it's a rat FYI) and I am panicking its going to bite my dog or it ate poison or I dunno...I was wigging out *waaaaaaaaaaah*.
He was in full on KILL mode. "This thing invaded my yard...it gonna die." He is violently shaking his head back and forth when I reach them. I grabbed his scruff just in time for him to "bear down" and.... and....and...I heard the most sicking *gag* sound *gag* I have ever heard in real life *gaaaaag*. He killed it....by crushing it with his massive jaws *crunch*...I let go of him and fell on my butt...he dropped the limp rat and looked at me panting like "I'm a good boy right!?!? *happy dog smile*". Then speedy wanted to give it some hell as well. I dove for him "Noooooooooooooooooo!" but Convict was all "no way man, that's my kill"...so he picked it up and started running around the yard with it. Tossing it in the air, catching it, barking, and growling...all while speedy chased him barking, and as I ran around the yard losing my mind...
noooo!
stooooop!
Drop it!!!
Dammit dog, that's not funny!
You are such an @$$hole!!!
*chasing me with the carcass*
Ahhhh, don't you dare put that on me!!!
OMG that is disgusting!!!!
I finally got them away from it (NOT EASY) and hubs walks out like, "what is it?!?" Obviously something freaking me out...I don't normally scream man...HELP!!! Tunnel vision had kicked in and all Convict could see was his kill, hubs literally had to pick all 60 lbs of him up and toss him inside while I wrestled with an overly excited (still barking) puppy.
Two plastic bags and some rubber gloves later, it was disposed of..."Ew ew ew ew...its still warm!!!" *shudder*. Thankfully it didn't bite either of them and it wasn't bleeding so *whew*. I went in and Convict was all "but, but, but I thought I was a good boy..." And I was like you are a good boy but GROSS! And then he full on sneak attack licked me in the mouth...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Why would you do that!?!?!
*spit spit* "Not cool man, not cool!
*rinsing with scalding water*
Ahhh, feel the burn.
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