7:30AM is not the time to have an existential crisis...

I wasn't prepared to think yet!  So I got a call...here is how it went.

Me: *barely functioning* This is NOLA Gurl, how can I help you?
Person:  Hi, NOLA Gurl.  This is Ted from (insert customer name).
Me: *confused* Hi... (I didn't recognize him as a contact)
Person: *realizing my confusion* I took Bob's place...he's dead
Me: *suddenly awake* *loss for words* *dammit brain start working* *silence*
Person: I need your help
Me: *brain reboot* Right, okay.  I am, I am so, so sorry to hear that...
Person: *in monotone voice* Well we all get old and then one day we don't get old anymore
Me: *thinking* WTF?!?!!? *said* True...*nervous laugh* Uuuum, so what can I help you with...

I barely caught what he was asking me because I was pondering what he said about "getting old".  I mean there was zero finesse about it but he had a point.  What is the meaning of my life?!?!?!  *hears a whisper* 42.  Dammit Deep Thought, not now!

Side Note:  In case you weren't aware or don't feel like thinking (like me right now), "An existential crisis is a moment at which an individual questions the very foundations of their life: whether their life has any meaning, purpose, or value. This issue of the meaning and purpose of existence is the topic of the philosophical school of existentialism"

I need a break...So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish...I've got my towel ready...time to Hitch a ride....I hear there's a great restaurant at the End of the Universe.

I'ma stop now...I have pondering to do.   

Haters gonna hate, hate, hate... hate, hate....hate....

How many should I put?!?!?  I wasn't going to post anything "serious" today.  I did my remembrance on the 10 year anniversary and while I'll never forget, I wont rehash it every year.  With that said, OMG people are brutal!

I have no idea who this is, I just saw the screenshot

I don't think that is what that means.  First of all at least spell $hit right if you are going to be an @$$hat.  Second, you can't fix anything with hate.  That is ignorant and just makes everything 10 times worse.  Being hateful towards EVERYONE who happens to be Muslim/Middle Eastern because a few extremist went all ape$hit isn't going to fix ANYTHING!  This hurt.  To see that much seething hatred, it is unnecessary.  Of course we should NEVER forget.  It was a horrible day and many perished but you can't blame an entire religion or part of the world for the actions of a few.  Yes there are many who probably supported this action (and they are bad or misguided people, sorry) but there are also others who were horrified to be associated with it.  There are extremists in EVERY religion/culture.  There are Christians I'd rather not be associated with and I have to say all the time "not all of us think like that". 

Then I saw this...

Yea it may not be beneficial to us to take in 10,000 refugees but that isn't really the point.  This statement isn't based on the problems caused by an influx of refugees, this is based on who and where the refugees are from. Where is your bible thumping bull$hit now?  Doesn't it say something about helping those less fortunate, in need, whatever.  These people seem to be in need.  Or should we turn our backs because they aren't the same religion?  Wouldn't you want the world to help us if something terrible happened here or would you want them to shut their borders and write us off as a total loss because we are "stupid Americans"? 

Of course this should be thought through very carefully...I mean the world economy is basically collapsing and taking on more people could be detrimental for any country. But the crazed hatred is still unnecessary.  Yes I know people who fought overseas after 9/11 and I know they suffered greatly because of some of the hateful people over there.  It's a f**ked up situation all around.  I just don't think using 9/11 as a "prop" is the way to go. 

Do I want to endanger my country, its citizens?  Of course not! I just want us to get passed all the prejudice/racist/extremist bull$hit.  

This song may not be about issues today (it is from 1992) but it sure hits home when you listen to it considering all the crap happening in the here and now.

We Shall Be Free by Garth Brooks

History of the song

I'ma post the lyrics too because they are meaningful to me.

This ain't comin' from no prophet
Just an ordinary man
When I close my eyes I see
The way this world shall be
When we all walk hand in hand

When the last child cries for a crust of bread
When the last man dies for just words that he said
When there's shelter over the poorest head
We shall be free

When the last thing we notice is the color of skin
And the first thing we look for is the beauty within
When the skies and the oceans are clean again
Then we shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
Stand straight, walk proud
'Cause we shall be free

When we're free to love anyone we choose
When this world's big enough for all different views
When we all can worship from our own kind of pew
Then we shall be free
We shall be free

We shall be free
Have a little faith
Hold out
'Cause we shall be free

And when money talks for the very last time
And nobody walks a step behind
When there's only one race and that's mankind
Then we shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
Stand straight, walk proud, have a little faith, hold out
We shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
Stand straight, have a little faith

We shall be free

I have a filthy mind...I'm going to hell...in a hand basket...with bells on...

And so is everyone else who commented on this!

What am I looking at?!?!!?  Why are there giant red penis looking things all over S.E. Louisiana?!?!?  That gives a whole other meaning to being f**ked by Mother Nature...  What was in that rain??!?!  No wonder my plants started growing like crazy...

You know you see it too!  And don't tell me "it looks like nuns walking in prayer" because we all know you only came up with THAT so you wouldn't seem as heathenish as the rest of us.

Stop killing animals! Humans aren't carnivores, we are omnivores!

WHAT!?!??!!?  Sugar, do you know the definition of an omnivore?  It is an animal (person) that survives on food of both animal and plant origin.  Animal origin is meat, as in: Beef, Chicken, Pork, Seafood, etc. Look it up!

Humans are classic examples of omnivores in all relevant anatomical traits. There is no basis in anatomy or physiology for the assumption that humans are pre-adapted to the vegetarian diet. For that reason, the best arguments in support of a meat-free diet remain ecological, ethical, and health concerns.

I thought maybe they meant vegetarians but no, they didn't.   Someone else replied before I saw it, saying something similar to the above and their response was just...wow.  "No, not vegetarians.  We still need meat but we don't have to kill animals for it.  We can just go to the store." (I'm paraphrasing) WHAT?!!??!  Well, this post was a wild ride of non-sense from start to finish.

Now I've read a "stupid tweet/post" that went viral saying something similar and remember thinking "do people really think like that!?!? That can't be real!" but COME ON I am related to this person!  Surely they are kidding........making fun of that other post..........right........no.........f**k!  

How do we share DNA???  Are we becoming that dim-witted???  Meat at the grocery was once a living creature (well for now...until they start growing pieces in a lab...*shudder*).  Do these "youngins" not know that? Do they not realize that the pork chop they are consuming used to be Wilbur??? I can understand a young CHILD not really "knowing" but if you are over the age of 12 (I'm being generous here), you know where meat at the store comes from.........it's people, no wait that's Soylent Green.  

I have a request, can we change the status of Idiocracy from "fictional" to "documentary"?

It's what plants crave. . .

 And no I'm not knocking vegetarians or vegans.  If  you choose not to eat meat, whatever.

P.S. The reason there isn't a screen shot is because it was removed about a second after I read It and the 5 responses asking if they were dumb/drunk/high.  

That is being blatantly two faced...to my FACE! I'ma start calling you Harvey Dent.

How can you sit here and listen to me talk about my two friends who happen to be gay and have been together FOREVER! Talk about how it sounds like their pup is their kid, etc.  Being all happy and smiling and saying how it sounds like they are a GREAT couple.  And then turn around and rant to me about the stupid clerk situation in Kentucky!!!  And tell me how she should stand for her religious right or whatever.  How the f**k...what the f**k...I am clearly not on the side of "she is right".  I've made it clear that I do not agree.  How can you sit there and think that that is an okay conversation to have with me??? And don't give me the stink eye when I say she is stupid.  Don't throw scripture at me about "gay" people.  Because there are a A LOT of weirdo "sins" from the Bible that NO ONE adheres to. They are using the Bible as a justification to persecute others. If you want to follow the rules...follow all of them. Stop eating pork, don't wear leather & cotton, stop getting your hair cut & shaving, etc, etc, etc.  Hell by the Bible's standards my dad and stepmom should have been stoned or something because they are both divorced and remarried.

"Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery." (Luke 16:18)

Rambles
More Rambles 

What if it was a DIFFERENT religion standing up for something?  Would you still agree?  No you would be like me, you lousy hypocrite!  You would say that is your JOB!  If the rules of said job clash with your beliefs and you can no longer do that job, find another f**king job! That lady in KY is a government official.  The court ruled anyone can marry...you MUST adhere or resign.  That isn't religious persecution...they aren't telling her she isn't allowed to be Christian, just that there is a new take on a law.  End of discussion. 

And then to go on yet another rant about how because of THAT situation schools want unisex bathrooms.  What?!?!!?  How does?!?!?  Sorry boo, those are completely unrelated situations.

I am not being rude, I'm just refusing to converse with ignorance.  We may not believe the same things yet I am still nice to you but when I POLITELY disagree with you, you are an @$$hole to me.  That's not very Christian.

"Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke [reason with] thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him. Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the Lord." (Leviticus 19: 17-18)


You can have you beliefs without forcing them on everyone around you.  I'm not knocking any religion or non religion.  I preach acceptance...of EVERYONE!

I don't want to be hugged by a bear...bears have claws and sharp teeth and are like 10 feet tall...I'll just stick to slobbery puppy hugs, thanks

So I was leaving an appointment and my contact said "Peace, Love, and Bear Hugs", to which I smiled and said "Bye".  Then I stopped in my tracks...wait...

...but when I turned around they were gone.  Was she wishing me well or threatening me?  I think I felt threatened.  Bear hugs don't sound pleasant, they sound painful.  I know, I know...a "bear hug" is normally referring to a super tight squeeze someone gives you. If you are little (like me), many times you are lifted off the ground as well.  But at this point all I can think of is a rabid Yogi coming at me with claws out and that's just terrifying!

Yes, I know its a Koala but I couldn't find a rabid Yogi pic, so it seemed fitting

Moving on, later I saw this.

It is tagged as "Cute Christmas Cookies".  Sorry, but that is NOT cute...it's a tad morbid!  That is Frosty and friends in the throws of death! You killed my snowman! What kind of mom does that?!?! Okay I find it "cute" but I also have a bit of a dark sense of humor.  I'd probably serve them to kids if they were misbehaving and say "you see what you made me do! Now Frosty won't be able to help Santa."  Then again I don't have kids of my own and that would probably be frowned upon as scarring or something.

Next subject, what on Earth does this even mean?!?!

Is this the newest bat$hit crazy movement?!?!?!  No $hit porn can't be my significant other but who the f**k thinks that is the case???  People use porn because they don't HAVE someone to spend that kind of time with...usually.  And if this is directed at married/committed persons who watch porn instead of being with their family then those "persons" should have a chat with their sig other.  If this is directed at those who are "addicted" to porn (see Don Jon) then yea I kind of get it (not really) but those people probably have other underlying issues and they aren't the majority.  Yes there are sex addicts but it wasn't caused by watching porn, its caused by irregular brain things.

This is stupid.  Like really stupid.  Like this is a joke, right?  Nope, it isn't.  I don't get it.  I don't partake in that industry but I've seen videos.  I still don't think there needs to be a movement against it.  If you want to watch a chick get it up the @$$ from a guy dressed as a donkey, while you get off, that's your thing (sorry for the visual).  If you want to get your partner into your fetish...that could be good or bad or maybe you should have a different partner. 

My point is I find this ridiculous.  Porn doesn't break up relationships or cause sex crimes, it is just the scapegoat.  There are other factors at work here but watching people have rough/different/fantastical sex on a video is being blamed.  Yea some of it is WAY out there but come on.  If you can't distinguish between fantasy and reality there is something else going on with you.  If your hubby is watching that and you don't like it then maybe you should have a chat.  Or if your boyfriend wants to "hurt" you during fun times because he saw it online and you don't like that...you may want to find a new boyfriend. 

People are varying levels of f**ked up.  The porn industry realized that and is making a profit off of it.  Look, if there is a market out there to watch Daleks in sexual situations, there is a market out there for everything.  You can't fault them for exploiting it.  People will get their jollies somehow...at least with porn its usually not harming another person. 

I need a cold shower, pronto

I'm usually not like this but good lord my coworker (and dear friend) brings out the worst best in me.  How on Earth we go from a serious-ish discussion about "This is Where I Leave You" (good movie, check it out) to ogling hot men on the internet and discussing why "even though 300 had a plot we were also enjoying the eye candy", is beyond me.

We were loud and full of giggles (befitting of a couple of 30+ year olds).  Its okay we are basically the only people here but STILL!  So here we are discussing The Rock's arms, Gerard Butler's abs and Brad Pitt's butt when our delivery guy showed up.  We were talking about the movie "Troy" where I STG my friend just finished saying in reference to the butt scene "Yea, get it boy...take her virginity" while I am crying laughing.  Look, he's been our delivery guy for 8 years, we love him and I think he enjoys us since he always seems to show up when we are being 100% ridiculous. Not to mention he isn't bad to look at either.  So of course when he popped his head in my office our girlish giggles turned into full belly laughs, silents laughs and near snorting. 

He CLEARLY heard everything we had said and was grinning ear to ear.  He said since we liked 300 so much he may come dressed as Leonidas for Halloween to give us a treat *wink*.  OMG, what?!?!  Hold up, how long was he listening?!?!? Wait wait wait, I am married, she is married...he is married...this is WILDLY inappropriate.  And while no one can look as good as Gerard Butler (DAYUM!) in 300, I am thinking he wouldn't look too shabby *tilting head to the side* (stop, bad, don't think like that, WTH woman, geez I'm just as bad as those guys I talk about...no wait...no I'm not).  My friend and I made eye contact and once again burst into school girl giggles as he tried to hide his smug smile...he knew we would enjoy that sight...cocky bastard *eye roll*.

But it didn't end there...after he left we kept discussing half nekkid sexy men in movies and it was just amazeballs.  She said she had a crush on this secondary-ish character from 300 which turned out to be one my "types" from a previous post...who now stars on Dominion.  More giggling ensued.  Like so much that our IT came see if we were okay.  When he realized what we were discussing he laughed and said "I love HUMP day."

OMG what is wrong with us?!?  I'll tell you what's wrong...both our husbands have been working almost non stop in the last few weeks...that's what happened.  Which means WE have hilarious discussions like this, watch movies/TV Shows like the ones we were talking about and delve into porn.  I'm not much into that last one so instead I will read hot & steamy fanfics (rather than my not usually sexy Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels) and ogle my fav characters on TV.  *pause* *rewind* "Oooooo nice" *rinse* *repeat*.  Stop judging me, I need a cold shower.