No, I do not want to eat Fido!!!!

Even if its just ice cream....

Link

Why is this a thing?!?!?!   I mean there is that "rumor" that some Asian style food places serve dog/cat as food but you can't look at your Garlic Chicken and say "hmmmm, that looks suspiciously like Mittens"!

"Awww, look how cute...I want to EAT YOUR FACE!". 

Okay wait I say that to my pups but I am just loving on them not ACTUALLY eating their faces!!!!

These are so hyper realistic.  I can't not see a cute little puppy!!!

Ahhhhh, the humanity!

 You MONSTER!!!!

Oh look the whole family can share in the devouring of Fluffy's endtrails.

So do you eat the face or the @$$ first?

That sounds dirty...but really...

This is wrong....soooo sooooo sooooooooo wrong. 

Yea yea I know dogs are on the menu in some....countries and I don't like that but whatever.  I see them as pets so it really weirds me out.

This place is in Thailand so different cultures and such but I am so disturbed by this.  This looks like Little Bit when we got her!!!  She was a wrinkly little psychopath but she's our psychopath and I don't want to eat her likeness.......

And I like pickles!!!!

I've seen all kinds a of weird pickle themed food lately.

Fried pickles...I mean anything fried is good, right...haha...ha...HA

Stuffed pickles...well adding a little cheese and ham couldn't be THAT bad....

Dill pickle bread...I guess that wouldn't be overly pickle-y..."If you assume this bread has a mild pickle flavor, think again. The dough replaces all of the water with pickle juice, adds a ton of dried dill AND a whole chopped dill pickle" OMG...my fingers are swelling just thinking about the sodium.

Dill Pickle soup...ummmm I...I dunno.

Pickle juice snowballs....f**k you man that's just weird.

Pickle Popsicle...you just froze some pickle juice, didn't you?

And today I saw, "Pickleback Corn Dog Bites"

Dude....DUDE!

And wow I just sounded like Bubba...

Anyways, you basically "core" a pickle.  Shove a hot dog in it.  Batter that b**ch up and fry it.

Link

You think I'm kidding.  Man I love a good pickle but WTF did I just watch...

Eeeep

That slide right on in... 

I mean you're gonna eat that right...don't waste the giblets.

Slower you sl*t!

I need an adult, I need an adult!!!!

"Like...a....GLOVE!"

Just a corn dog, nothing to see here

Surprise mother f**ker, its a pickle dog!

What would Rick think??!?!?

Sorry, not sorry.

OMG I should put pickle Rick in place of the pickle!

UPDATE: Ooops, stupid alignment BS.  Fixed now....

She's an ALIEN FFS why does this even matter?!?!?!

Saw this when I logged in this A.M.:

LINK

What the actual f**k?!!?!?  PETA needs to be rounded up and shot into the sun.  Look I don't care what you or anyone else eats.  I really don't.  Unless its people or PETS then whatever makes you happy.  But don't try to force your diet on me...us...a FICTIONAL alien.  Who cares what ANYONE ON TV eats much less an alien?!?!? Have I mentioned she is an ALIEN...?  I'd rather see The Doctor running around being awesome, I don't care if she has a bloody steak or tofu after!

We rarely see The Doctor eat so I don't know why this even matters but the reasoning makes me want to light myself on fire and run around screaming while I pull my hair out and throw the flaming strands at people.

Or maybe just sear a slab of ribeye and eat the bloody thing in front of PETA because who the f**k cares...ahhhhhhhhhhhh! (I keep saying bloody...do I mean it as a curse or an adjective...I'll never teeeeeellllll, *muahahahaaha*)

"Eating dead animals simply doesn't fit with the Doctor's moral compass,”

What are you talking about!?!!?!?  He blew up his planet!!!  Yea yea yea he actually saved it but he thought for a few hundred...maybe thousand years or so it became rubble BECAUSE OF HIM and he sure as hell was gonna blow the mother f**ker up in the 50th.  Honestly, after the crap they put 12 through, he was probably regretting that decision.  

“Considering all the benefits that eating vegan has for a person’s heart, it’d be doubly beneficial for the Doctor!"

STOOOOOOOOOOP!  Please stop.  Superior Time Lord Physiology...do you even watch the show?!?!?

Yes we have a female Doctor WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO BE VEGAN?!?!  Because she's a she?  Would they have done the same letter if another male was cast?  Can we compromise and have a Vegan companion???  And then have the Doctor making constant quips about "what's wrong with eating meat?  I once went to a planet where the plants ate the people and the plants didn't get all weepy about it."

Side note PETA is a f**king joke! I think they started out on the right path, then did some peyote and their logic ended up somewhere past Pluto. You want to help animals find someplace else because these nutters don't need anymore support.

Again, I don't care what people eat but why do we have to make the alien more human??? She isn't HUMAN.  She is an A-L-I-E-N!  Just because she looks human (actually we look Time Lord, they came 1st) doesn't mean she is HUMAN! Not everything has to be a statement.  Now, lets see lucky number 13 grab her sonic and fly off into the stars...

How does that even happen?!?! Those are not edible!

Alright, so lately there have been a lot of food recalls.  I can understand the ones that may be "contaminated".  I mean that's AWFUL but I get it.  You don't clean something properly and *BAM* e coli or whatever. 

I even kind of get the ones that say "may contain plastic".  REALLY awful but a piece of something breaks off and *crap*  there are shards of inedibles in your food. 

The ones that "may contain glass" are highly concerning but again I can understand how it could happen.   But this one...WTF?!?!?!?

"Frozen hash browns recalled because they might contain chopped up golf balls" *link*

How do golf balls get into hash browns unnoticed?!?!  The statement said "the golf balls 'may have been harvested with potatoes used to make this product'." But HOW?  Why are golfballs anywhere near a farm?  Is there a golf course nearby?  Has this happened before?  Where are the f**king quality checks?  

You would think someone looking at the "potatoes" going through a wash or whatever would notice a bunch of small white dimpled balls mixed in with the brownish medium to large POTATOES!

I just feel like someone really dropped the ball on this one.......... (I crack myself up)

Seriously...this

Looks nothing like this....

Maybe...and I mean MAYBE if its dirty...

its closer to being camouflaged in this...

But....usually dirty golf balls are of varying degrees of "dirty"....

And I would think to have a recall there would have to be quite a few golf balls present...right...!?!?!?  Maybe not.  Maybe it was just one sneaky DIRTY ball.  

Still, who the f**k confused a golf ball with a potato and how dirty were those balls that you couldn't see them mixed in with the potatoes...AND how long were they in the f**king field?!?!?!  And why were they IN the field...? I have so many questions....
 
Anyways, bone apple tea or whatever

I'm being funny...laugh dammit! 

What...what did you feed me?!?!?!

Co-worker:  OMG you have to try this!!!
Me: Uhhhh what is it?
Co-worker:  Its sooooo good just try it! *pushes green thing towards me*

Me: Uhhhh it looks like an overgrown UNRIPE fig. 
Co-worker: *exasperated* Just EAT IT!
Me: okay okay, geez... *takes a bite*
*seconds later*
Me: OMG that is soooo juicy and sweet!!! *looks at fruit*

*WTF?!?!*

Right...clearly a FIG...good thing I kinda like figs....

I forgot how "icky" they look once you bite into them... 

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSS!

Well that looks...interesting....

Hmmmm.

Friend on IG: "Hey that looks like a dogs butt-hole after a worm infestation"
Me: Aaaaaaannnndd now I'm going to vomit.....

GROSS!!!!!

I still like figs though. Just wont look at them while I'm eating...lest I envision worms and a dogs @$$ *shudder*

Its a "Melon Fig"...at least that is what I was told....

And here we have a skelton shaking its hips...they don't lie

Shut up, I am funny.  And delirious.  I probably find it funnier because of the delirium.  This should be a wild ride...buckle up. 

I found this while cleaning...First I had NO idea peeling labels could be so gratifying.

I mean look at that pure unadulterated ecstasy.  Oh yea, peels so good!  I feel dirty just looking at this.  I clearly happened upon someone in the midst of enjoying their fetish.  Oh my bad...I'll just...soooooo what are you going to DO with that label...?  But for real...what was the photographers direction???  "I want you to peel that label like you are on the verge of experiencing the most satisfying orgasm of your life." 

I am concerned...I think my friend is saving body parts. *gulp*

What do I do!?!?!  Except that is clearly NOT human. Alien?  Fae?  Dragon?!?!  Do I call Mulder or the Winchesters or maybe Bo?  I was informed it is a "Buddha's Hand"...right...sure...*wink, wink*.  So really...are you a hunter???  What is it?!!?!?  Why is it in Vodka???  What else are you hiding...?  *eeeeep*

So these are NOT craft pieces...

These are edible ball bearings, also known as dragees.  They are basically sugar with a shiny coating.  It took me longer than I'd like to admit to realize that these were "food", considering I didn't know what the definition of dragees was.  Then all I could think of was "Have you ever had those little cakes, with the crunchy ball bearings on top... ever had those... those things? Nobody else in the entire galaxy has ever even bothered to make edible ball bearings! Genius!" (10th Doctor - Fear Her) These look like real metal, dammit (yes, I know that is the point).  I feel like I'd crack a tooth or something. 


*lalala* when suddenly a life size blowup Batman hiding in the aisle.  Jesu....I need an adult and new pants!!!!!  That is f**king terrifying!

I'm Batman

Why!?!?  Seriously though.  It is fairly true to size...well I mean like small adult size.  If I got down in the same position it was only slightly larger.  Can you imagine waking up in the middle of the night and seeing that silhouette in the living room?!?! *ahhhhh* "I need new undies...and possibly a new heart".  Also...what is with the arm/fist placement.  It is very...uh..."suggestive".  He's like semi stroking it AND enjoying it!  Or a least doing the motion.  No really when the air catches it, the arm lazily pumps up and down while the head slowly nods...."Oh my god, does no one else see how wrong this is?!?!?"  Everything about this screams *not suitable for children* NC-17...X-Rated...(okay maybe I am being a tad dramatic) but there were so MANY parents placing children to take pics in the arms of this blow up "masturbating" monstrosity.  (I would have taken a video but there was a line of kids waiting)

Stop killing animals! Humans aren't carnivores, we are omnivores!

WHAT!?!??!!?  Sugar, do you know the definition of an omnivore?  It is an animal (person) that survives on food of both animal and plant origin.  Animal origin is meat, as in: Beef, Chicken, Pork, Seafood, etc. Look it up!

Humans are classic examples of omnivores in all relevant anatomical traits. There is no basis in anatomy or physiology for the assumption that humans are pre-adapted to the vegetarian diet. For that reason, the best arguments in support of a meat-free diet remain ecological, ethical, and health concerns.

I thought maybe they meant vegetarians but no, they didn't.   Someone else replied before I saw it, saying something similar to the above and their response was just...wow.  "No, not vegetarians.  We still need meat but we don't have to kill animals for it.  We can just go to the store." (I'm paraphrasing) WHAT?!!??!  Well, this post was a wild ride of non-sense from start to finish.

Now I've read a "stupid tweet/post" that went viral saying something similar and remember thinking "do people really think like that!?!? That can't be real!" but COME ON I am related to this person!  Surely they are kidding........making fun of that other post..........right........no.........f**k!  

How do we share DNA???  Are we becoming that dim-witted???  Meat at the grocery was once a living creature (well for now...until they start growing pieces in a lab...*shudder*).  Do these "youngins" not know that? Do they not realize that the pork chop they are consuming used to be Wilbur??? I can understand a young CHILD not really "knowing" but if you are over the age of 12 (I'm being generous here), you know where meat at the store comes from.........it's people, no wait that's Soylent Green.  

I have a request, can we change the status of Idiocracy from "fictional" to "documentary"?

It's what plants crave. . .

 And no I'm not knocking vegetarians or vegans.  If  you choose not to eat meat, whatever.

P.S. The reason there isn't a screen shot is because it was removed about a second after I read It and the 5 responses asking if they were dumb/drunk/high.