My husband had to peel me off the ceiling....

Okay not literally but close.

So I get this quarterly box from Fortune Cookie Soaps (FCS)...they also do a monthly box but I don't need that much beauty stuff (or do I?).  Anyways, I never signed up for that. 

Flash forward to August.  They announce the September Box will be HALLOWEEN THEMED!!! So I did what I said I wouldn't do an signed up for the damn box. 

So I get it (this was last month) and I am so excited I am about to pee on myself .  First things first...I opened the box and f**king screamed.  Not bloody murder but still *ahhhh* *giggle*. 

God Dammit!!!  Also in the box were fake maggots *rolling eyes*.  Its Halloween...yea yea yea.  So I am INSANELY excited.  Everything smells AMAZING!  I tried almost all of it within a day or so. 

Moving on.  I don't take baths normally...I take showers.  If I do, I don't usually use bubbles, bombs, oils, etc because my body is stupid and I usually have reactions that I'd rather not deal with.  With that said this box came with a bomb.  Its all natural/handmade stuff so I figured "Awww f**k it, ONE BATH CAN'T HURT." 

This was the bomb:

CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE BATH BOMB

Ingredients: Sodium Bicarbonate, Citric Acid, Zea Mays (Corn) Starch, Pure Dead Sea Salt, Magnesium Sulfate, Sweet Almond Oil, Fragrance and/or Essential Oils, Cosmetic Color.

OMG It's Jason, totally trying it.  Problem...I didn't READ the f**king description.  

"You’re doomed! You’re all doomed. There is a curse on Crystal Lake, a death curse. You’ve been warned. When you use this bath bomb, it’s followed by shadows and scents of peachy rings, lemon drops, and woodland flowers. Beware! There's a surprise inside..."

Anyways, I got all comfy in my hot bath and drop the bomb *giggle*.  It fizzed a bit.  Its blue and white *cool*.  Smells DELICIOUS *double cool*.  As the bomb fades away to the end red starts trickling out "Ewww...but okay cool".  I was leaning back relaxing when all of a sudden, something touched my leg 

"OMG there is something in the water with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I see this:

I jumped out of the f**king tub so fast I almost fell over the commode.  

Not realizing the commotion I caused, I was surprised when the significant other walked in.  He was like "WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU" as I stood there naked and dripping all over the floor.  I pointed at the tub...he laughed at me..."Its plastic crazy lady".  Oh...OH....GOD DAMMIT!

So yea, they got me...like got me good.  So just in case you are wondering my heart works just fine...

 

Also, no weirdo reactions (sweet) aside from having a minor cardiac event. 

I need a cold shower, pronto

I'm usually not like this but good lord my coworker (and dear friend) brings out the worst best in me.  How on Earth we go from a serious-ish discussion about "This is Where I Leave You" (good movie, check it out) to ogling hot men on the internet and discussing why "even though 300 had a plot we were also enjoying the eye candy", is beyond me.

We were loud and full of giggles (befitting of a couple of 30+ year olds).  Its okay we are basically the only people here but STILL!  So here we are discussing The Rock's arms, Gerard Butler's abs and Brad Pitt's butt when our delivery guy showed up.  We were talking about the movie "Troy" where I STG my friend just finished saying in reference to the butt scene "Yea, get it boy...take her virginity" while I am crying laughing.  Look, he's been our delivery guy for 8 years, we love him and I think he enjoys us since he always seems to show up when we are being 100% ridiculous. Not to mention he isn't bad to look at either.  So of course when he popped his head in my office our girlish giggles turned into full belly laughs, silents laughs and near snorting. 

He CLEARLY heard everything we had said and was grinning ear to ear.  He said since we liked 300 so much he may come dressed as Leonidas for Halloween to give us a treat *wink*.  OMG, what?!?!  Hold up, how long was he listening?!?!? Wait wait wait, I am married, she is married...he is married...this is WILDLY inappropriate.  And while no one can look as good as Gerard Butler (DAYUM!) in 300, I am thinking he wouldn't look too shabby *tilting head to the side* (stop, bad, don't think like that, WTH woman, geez I'm just as bad as those guys I talk about...no wait...no I'm not).  My friend and I made eye contact and once again burst into school girl giggles as he tried to hide his smug smile...he knew we would enjoy that sight...cocky bastard *eye roll*.

But it didn't end there...after he left we kept discussing half nekkid sexy men in movies and it was just amazeballs.  She said she had a crush on this secondary-ish character from 300 which turned out to be one my "types" from a previous post...who now stars on Dominion.  More giggling ensued.  Like so much that our IT came see if we were okay.  When he realized what we were discussing he laughed and said "I love HUMP day."

OMG what is wrong with us?!?  I'll tell you what's wrong...both our husbands have been working almost non stop in the last few weeks...that's what happened.  Which means WE have hilarious discussions like this, watch movies/TV Shows like the ones we were talking about and delve into porn.  I'm not much into that last one so instead I will read hot & steamy fanfics (rather than my not usually sexy Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels) and ogle my fav characters on TV.  *pause* *rewind* "Oooooo nice" *rinse* *repeat*.  Stop judging me, I need a cold shower.