My little nerdy heart broke a little today!

An icon has been lost. Seriously though no words can really express what an amazing person he was.  If you followed him on Twitter you kind of know. 

Yes he was Spock but he was also so much more.  Look him up, he did quite a bit while he was with us.  

I saw a few days back that he was admitted to the hospital because of complications due to COPD and being as he was in his 80's that was concerning.  When I received the news alert of his passing, I definitely teared up a bit.  It has been nice to see the outpouring of love on social media from celebs and fans alike.  Such a sad day for Trekkies around the world.  

This scene is that much more heartbreaking today.

 

RIP Mr. Nimoy, you did Live Long and Prosper...you will be missed!

This is why other countries make fun of us

I feel like if a person from say, the UK, saw this they'd be like "stupid Americans, they don't even know what lettuce looks like."     

This picture messed with my head.  My brain read lettuce but my eyes saw broccoli.  My eyes won out and I got really excited about discounted broccoli only to be disappointed when my brain finally overrode my eyes.   I mean discounted lettuce is good too, I just really wanted some broccoli.

I am not knocking the blog that posted this.  I love that blog and everyone is human and makes a boo boo here and there.  I just thought it was funny. 


UPDATE:  This was basically confirmed by my Middle Eastern friend who walked by my computer while I was typing and said "Um, that's not lettuce".

Is this promoting sex with a wolf?!

That is bestiality and it is WRONG not to mention ILLEGAL.  Am I the only one that sees it???  I feel dirty looking at it. 

Who allowed this to go to print?!!?!  I am sure the story is captivating but the cover made me cringe. 

 

Its just the first thing I thought when I saw it was "um, the placement of that wolf is a bit concerning." I can't get passed it.  It looks like the wolf and the sexy man are doing...something...not sure what but it looks not right. 

I get that it is alluding to the fact that he is a werewolf  but come on!  Couldn't they have put the wolf in the back....smaller....by the moon...or in the moon.  For god's sake the wolf is emerging from his crotch area!  And he's leaning back sexily...it is sending me the wrong message.  Maybe others will not see it but I can't unsee it!

That is all, buh bye now. 

I grew a wang

Hahahaha did I make you spit out your drink??? *whoohoo*

But seriously...I did grow one just not in the sense you might be thinking.  Over the last few weeks we really haven't been home.  So I have been neglecting our food resources.  There are certain staples we ALWAYS have in our house.  Rice, Pasta, Eggs, Cheese, Onions & Potatoes.  That might seem like an odd combo but you can survive off of those if you have nothing else.

Anyways, since our Mardi Gras-ing is over I started trying to get back into things like cooking and cleaning (ugh, I hate cleaning).  Last Friday we decided we wanted to fry up some shrimp and potatoes.  *whoohoo* "Free" dinner because I had shrimps in the freezer and a bag of potatoes in the pantry. 

**Note**

Yes, I know the plural of Shrimp is Shrimp but some people 

'round here say "Shrimps", so I say it as a haha.

Moving on!  I pulled out 5 potatoes to clean and slice and this came out.

What in the world?!?  It was the only one that sprouted which isn't that odd or why I am "what in the world-ing".  We've already established I have an overactive imagination.  Look at it!  Look closely...closer....CLOSER!  It looks like an alien pee pee *giggle, giggle*.  I emphasize the ALIEN part because if your man has a wee that looks like that...run away...run far FAR away!  Maybe I am reading too much off the wall fanfiction (stop judging me, some of it is really interesting) but my first thought was "OMG Alien Wang!"  And now I just can't unsee the pee pee.

Use your imagination!!! It's got a fairly defined "tip" (not the green sprout, I don't know what that is...maybe a "tickler"...). It has "spikes".  It is WAY tooooo crooked.  This all just screams Martian reproductive organ.  On second thought maybe I should be the one writing off the wall fanfiction...hmmmm.

I didn't have the heart to cut it off and cook the potato or toss it (why am I having feelings for a potato penis!?!?) so I let it be.  I kind of want to see what becomes of my Alien appendage.  I won't lie (that I can't deny.)  Why am I quoting Limp Bizkit?!?! Oh right..Nookie...*snicker, snicker* ... anyway, I want to see if it gets bigger and looks even more phallic *muahahahaha*.

Stop coming to work with Ebola!!!

Okay, maybe I shouldn't joke about that but you get the idea.  We are all 100% capable of working from home if needed.  And I am sorry but if you are white as a sheet of paper, can't breathe through your nose and can't talk without coughing up something...GO HOME!

I have become Sheldon Cooper. 

I do not want your funk.  Why is this so hard for some people to grasp?!?!!?  If you are going to come to work sick at least try to stay AWAY from everyone else.  Don't parade your germs up and down the hall.  Don't touch my phone! Wear a mask!

Not only has the whole place been Lysol-ed but I also went a little Clorox Wipe crazy.  No really.  I had a wipe in each hand and wiped down every surface that might have been touched.  And watch...just watch...I am still going to get sick!

Maybe I should start working from home to avoid the funk....would I then be a hermit...would I then have to create a "support group" called "Hermits Unite"....maybe we should meet every 5 years instead of 10 to amp up the "fun"...would that defeat the purpose...conclusion, I'd be a crappy hermit. 

I am going to down some Emergen-C and hope beyond hope I do not get whatever crud I heard hacked up in the hall. 

Spoiled Wife you say...

I say, "quit driving like a jacka$$ you 'spoiled' biotch!"

Driving to work this morning I was run off of I-10 by a small car about the size of my small car.  She clearly did not see the little blue car in the left lane doing 80 MPH, keeping a safe distance from the car in front of her.  Or she just didn't care and assumed I would...I dunno teleport out of her way. 

I-10 where I was is two lanes...TWO lanes!!!  So I didn't have the option of moving into another lane.  She just came over.  I am not talking turned on the blinker and switch lanes giving me time to react like a normal person.  She suddenly realized she was about to ram the State vehicle going 70 (the speed limit) in the right lane so instead of, oh I dunno BRAKING, she just jerked the car to the left...where I happened to be. 

SIDE NOTE - Honestly you should NEVER do that!!! If you are about to rear-end someone DO NOT blindly go to the other driving lane.  Swerve to the SHOULDER!!! It is safer and there is less of a chance of you hitting someone!!!!

The thing is I kind of saw it.  I realized before it happened what was possibly going to happen so I let my foot off the accelerator.  This didn't help much, well it helped a little because instead of being right next to her I was about a half car's length next to her.  I didn't really have time to brake at this point, it all happened very quickly.  I was able to swerve my little car to the left ONTO THE SHOULDER and hit the brakes enough to avoid her.  I almost got rear ended and my car sure did lose traction, having two wheels doing 80ish on the gravely side area.  The little light came on and there was a lot of dinging. You know the one that lets you know "hey hon, your car is hydroplaning.  Just wanted to make sure you knew. *kisses*"  It really is a pointless warning light.  Like no $hit car.  Is that why I am losing control of you?!?  I didn't realize my tires were no longer connecting with the pavement.  How could you NOT realize that?!?!?! Anyway,  I thought that's it I am going lose control of the car and slam into the freaking middle divider fence thing. FML!

By some grace of God I managed to maintain control of my car and got back in the lane.  As I got back up to the speed limit I caught up to her because the rest of the left lane peeps in front of us were going about 70-75.  As I caught up to her I saw the crap fest that was her car.  It was a nice-ish car. Nothing too fancy, like a Civic, maybe a Kia, or something like that.  Across the back window in HOT PINK was the website "spoiledwife.com".  This just made me groan in annoyance.  Then you also had the license plate which was also hot pink and zebra and glittery.  I couldn't read the actual plate number but I surely was blinded by the words "Spoiled Wife" shining in the morning sunlight. 

SIDE NOTE - You aren't really that "spoiled"...its not like its a BMW or Lexus or Mercedes or something of that nature!!! Stop acting all special in your freaking Kia Rio.  My momma gots one of those and she is most definitely NOT spoiled!

I really wanted to hulk out and run her off the road but I am not crazy (unlike her).  So I decided I would look up the website and give a few choice words to the administrator...thinking she clearly runs it or works for them if she is advertising like that.  Guess what...the domain doesn't exist...it might be "up for sale".  What happened boo did your hubby/wifey not pay the bill???  If your spouse "spoils" you more power to you but do you have to be such a royal douche nozzle about it?!?!?  You could have killed me and the person behind me with your shenanigans in your stupid car with it's stupid decorations!  Not to mention blinding us with the obnoxious blingy license plate.  Look I love sparkles but they shouldn't be on a car...it is a driving hazard.  If your hubby/wifey is so keen on spoiling you maybe you should spring for some driving lessons and keep the bling limited to your person. 

In case you are thinking well everyone makes mistakes...maybe she just wasn't paying attention and normally is a good driver.  No, just NO! I should also mention that once she got enough past the state vehicle, which in my opinion and I am thinking the state operators opinion based on his "Oh $hit" moment, was not nearly enough space she jumped back to the right lane and blew past traffic going about 90 MPH.  Then I saw her swerve back into the left lane causing lots of brake lights to come on in front of me.  I lost track of her after that.

People are such @$$holes!!!!!!!!!

I'm too old for this...

...said no New Orleanian ever!  Okay maybe SOME say this but they are lame (hehehe).  You just have to remember its a "Marathon" not a "Sprint" and your body won't hate you AS MUCH. 

So its Lundi Gras which around here means you either took off of work to recover from the weekend and get ready for tonight OR you are suffering through an insanely slow day while attempting to recover from the weekend. Along with trying to figure out how you are going to manage another evening of parades AND be ready for Fat Tuesday after working a full day.  Oh the insanity. 

Speaking of the weekend.  I am not THAT big of a drinker...I mean we have fun but I try to keep my wits about me.  Obviously this doesn't always happen, I am human after all....well at least I think I am *insert dramatic music*.   I can tell you that today I am not exactly hung over but I am feeling a bit *meh*.   Three nights of drinking and two days of "day drinking" has taken its toll.  Add in the horrifically unhealthy food eaten and getting about 4 hours of sleep (if that) per night and you see why I am a hot mess today.   Seriously though a side effect of parades (at least for me) is every time I close my eyes I see flashing beads, glowing headbands and brightly lit floats zooming by.  It is like my brain refused to shut off!!!!! "Sleep, why you no come to me!"

Friday was prep night...also known as "get your $hit together so you don't have to worry about it Saturday/Sunday".  While getting said $hit together wine was drunk...and it was good. I had a crazy array of stuff purchased from the store.  Two 12 packs of beer, Zapps, Kahlua White Russian, Wine, Mixers for breakfast, King cake, Mini Bluetooth speaker, Wet Ones, "and a partridge in a pear tree"...ha!   I mean it is all essential if you want to have a stress free parading, well minus the partridge...that would just be weird.  Then after that I went to the daiquiri shop and got my "starter" boos for both days.  Damn, that's a lot you might say BUT you are out there ALL DAY!  Meaning you are going to run out of drinks/food if you aren't prepared.  And honestly that is NOTHING compared to what a lot of people bring out.

Side Note - there was also food.  I just wasn't in charge of food.  Others brought FRIED chicken and jambalaya and other assortments of fillers (don't drink on an empty stomach kids...its a bad idea, mmmkay).

So we saw Luke Bryan (Endymion) and John C. Reilly (Bacchus).  And that was pretty cool.  I have battle wounds...not cool.  My left hand looks like I punched a wall but I didn't. I was attacked by a bag of beads.  My muscles hurt from holding chirren and making sure they had fun.  I have random bruises and I really don't know how I am going to eat today but it was totally worth it.  We had so much fun and that is what it is all about.  The kids were filthy and exhausted which is definitely a sign of a good day. 

I am hoping the weather holds out for tonight and tomorrow.  It looks like it is going to be windy and cold which sucks because Saturday and Sunday were GORGEOUS!  Perfect parading weather!!!!

So off I go to eat yet more unhealthy stuff because after a weekend of drinking and eating unhealthy all I want is a freaking chili cheese coney with tots and a coke! *mmmmmm coke*

Oh yea and let me tell you drinking and parading for two straight days means lil ole me sounds like a squeak toy.  *Ugh* I need some hot tea with honey stat!

Guess what day it is??? Guess.What.Day.It.Is?

It's....MARDI GRAS!!!!  Well it is the Friday BEFORE Mardi Gras.  Have I mentioned I like Mardi Gras.  It is my 2nd favorite holiday behind Halloween.  I mean they run a very close race and yea, it is a holiday...at least if you are from 'round these parts.  How could I not love this holiday!?!?  You dress up in completely contrasting colors (purple, green, gold) or some other insane costume that is usually a nod to the great city of NOLA and dance in the streets.  You scream at drunken strangers on insanely decorated Papier-mâché looking contraptions wanting cheap plastic beads which end up being beamed at your face.  And you are probably tipsy which just means your reflexes are off so they actually hit you in the face.  Then we all take pics of your battle wounds and post them to Facebook.  BEST HOLIDAY EVER!

I'm so excited I could do piqué turns around my office *ahhhhhhhhhhhh*.  I just want to Second Line and Mardi Gras Wobble...how the hell am I supposed to sit still for the next two hours?!?!?!  I feel like a squirrel on a coffee bean!  Of course it isn't helping that we are all emailing/texting each other plans for the weekend.  It is in my face every 5 minutes...PARADES! And I'm singing like an idiot, this one is in my head right now  "Ain't no place to pee on Mardi Gras day...Mardi Gras Day!"  

But we have a place to pee...we have a thing...a thing with a seat and a BUCKET!  We WILL have a place to pee on Mardi Gras day (and before)!  It might not be the most luxurious BUT after 6 beers you really don't care you just know you gotta go and you will resort to bushes if it comes down to it.  I don't recommend the bushes...you can get arrested and it's kind of gross but when nature calls and you are drinking....yea.   And its so unfair because for boys it is easy and can be kind of hidden...we girls have to squat, exposing our bare backsides and come on, there really is no way for us to be discrete!   

I just can't wait! I have my tutu and Mardi Gras tiara and Mardi Gras t-shits and I am ready set go!!!  I just need to go gets my gallon of daiquiri and some beers for the hubs...can it be tomorrow already!?!?!?   Do you think I said Mardi Gras enough times???  I feel like its that Limp Bizkit song...you know it (maybe) "if I say f**k two more times, That's forty six f**ks in this f**ked up rhyme"

This post is a mess but I am exploding with energy and this is my only means to expel it right now!

Happy  Mardi Gras y'all!!!

Do you ever look at a product and think, "Why?!?"

I had a moment like that today...

I'm sorry...I mean I love Disney but these are just creepy!  Why on Earth would I want Mickey/Minnie watching me shower?!?!?  It is a FACE hovering above your head shooting high pressured water at your naked body.  All the while smiling at you. "yea, I like how you lather *mmmm* heh, heh (Mickey laugh)."  I know, I know what you are thinking...they are "for kids".  Really?!?!?!  That does not make the argument any better!  "Get your pedo-Mickey shower heads now kids!  He loves to watch you bathe and help rinse off your tiny bits." *yikes*

Why not just do the black silhouette with no face and maybe a colored bow or bow tie or whatever....that way I don't have a creepy smiling mouse in my face.  Why is there a FACE?!?! Also, I won't have a snot stream coming from his/her nose.  Who designed this?!?  The "high pressure" setting shoots from the nose...I just...WHY?!?  "Feel squeaky clean while your favorite Mouse shoots nose water all over you." I think it would be funnier if it had different settings and one was a "waterfall" and it poured from the mouth.  Or the "massage" setting pulsed out from the eyeballs. Ooo, ooo and it can have colored LED lights that blink with the pulse.   "Satan Minnie wants your soul! *muahahhaha*" If you are going to make it creepy go big or go home!

Also...there is a detachable shower head...face...thing.  We have all seen the 40 year old virgin...right?!?!  The scene in the tub...with her "favorite" shower head.  And, yea, this post just went there.  Talk about Mickey and friends.  What kind of Club is this???  There is just something WRONG with this product.  You know...you KNOW some lonely mom is going to use little Johnny's shower head for "things" when he's not home or sleeping.  No one needs a Mickey in their hoohah.  And, OMG, that can be taken so many differnt ways.  Of course that can be new slang for diddling yourself in the shower. 

Friend: "Hey, what took you so long to get ready?"
Her: "Oh, just needed a Mickey in the shower. *wink*" 
or
"Today was my Minnie shower day. *sigh*"
Friend: "Ooooookay...."

I need to stop.  This is a kids product...I am going to hell...where I will be showered by creepy Mickey faces for eternity. Hey at least I can use the detachable head *wink, wink*.  Ahhhh, make me stop!

Cult of the Sacred Drunken Wookie *garbled wookie sound*

So there is this thing called Mardi Gras where I am from, you may have heard of it...  If so, you know for the month or so leading up to Mardi Gras is Carnival Season.  I know many call it all Mardi Gras but technically that is just the day everything comes to a head. 

During this "season" we have parades.  Lots of parades of varying sorts.  Some are NOT kid friendly...those usually take place in the quarter and come with a warning, sort of.  Others are walking a fine line between kid friendly and not kid friendly...those are the best.  Dirty Jokes hidden in plain sight!

Moving on, recently there was the parade of geeks/nerds/browncoats...you get the idea.  The Intergalactic Krewe of Chewbacchus rolled and truthfully, it was super fun!  There was Star Wars everything and Trekkies and Browncoats and Whovians and, and, and OMG so many others!  The "Pope" was Andy Richter and Peter Mayhew was there too!!!

I think what I loved the most is that it WASN'T like the big super krewes and it is all made by the revelers.  Even a lot of the "throws" are homemade.  I actually got quite a bit of "loot" for it being such a small parade that most people go to just see the costumes/floats.  I was getting so much that the guy next to me, whom I'd never met, started teasing me.  It was all in good fun!  At one point a rather attractive girl gave me this glowing ring thing and he said "oh come on, she has literally gotten everything in this parade." and the girl responded "but look at her sweet little face!" So he said "what about my sweet little face?!?!" Then she said, "not sweet enough..." or something of that nature *shrugged* and skipped away. I thought it was hilarious.  I tried to share some "loot" but he didn't want anything.

Here are some pics below...some mine, some my friend's, all awesome!

Andy Richter

Jayne

*garbled Wookie sound*

Phone home...?

Good job! Stay in character!

Holy $hit! This is the cosplay I was talking about in my NOCC post!!!  *argh* it's blurry and doesn't do it justice!  But seriously how awesome is it?!?!?!

Moisturize me!

*argh* blurry again :( K-9!!!

Seriously...a remote controlled T.A.R.D.I.S?!?  And the Doctor is controlling it!  Love!!!

Resistance is futile!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The "loot".  See that obnoxious light?  Yea, I got that for having such a "sweet face". 

Okay, it may be a little who-centric (ONLY 4 of the 11 pics) but I couldn't upload ALL my pics...well I could, but I wont.  These are just the "best" ones.  I will definitely be attending this next year!  Maybe I'll join the Krewe...hmmmmm. 

It's a miracle I made it out of childhood

Okay not really my mom and dad and step mom and everyone else were amazing but by today's standards I should have died a horrible death well before I hit puberty.  I say this because today I overheard a co-worker talking to her 9 year old grandson.  She was saying he could go to so and so's house but be sure he had his CELL PHONE so she could find him if needed and don't ride his bike because its too dangerous, he might fall.  A cell phone for a 9 year old...hmmm and wouldn't the bike be safer then WALKING...?  I mean whatever helps you sleep at night but at 9 I had nothing like a phone (obvi, I am old hahaha) and my mother rarely knew exactly where I was at any given point.  I mean she knew generally where I was but not always the exact location. 

As odd as all that may sound to today's parents, I wonder what else was I exposed to or did that would cause a ruckus today...hmmm.

Just make sure you are home before the street lights come on.

Crap I'm late!!!

There was no cell phone or pager or whatever.  As kids we barely wore watches, even the cool ones we all had back in the 80's/90's (TMNT FTW).  So how else was mom/dad able to deem a curfew.  Something that you can't miss.  Granted in summer this meant one hell of a day and in winter may have led to some whining about it only being 5:00!!!  Regardless mom didn't see me for HOURS.  If she wanted to find me she either drove to the local park where she may find me and my besties roller blading or biking to our hearts content.  Or she called different houses asking if I was there and they'd usually say "yes, can she stay for dinner?" or "no but I think I saw her skate/bike by around X o'clock."  Point being she never really knew exactly where I was and that was okay.

Also, my momma worked.  When I went to school she was at work.  When I was little she managed to get off and come get me from school but as I got older my @$$ walked home.  And had to fend for myself until she came home to cook din din.  Well I took din din out the freezer for her to cook but you get the idea.  And if I left, I sure as hell better leave a note or call her at work and let her know.  But other then that I was a lone ranger from when I got home till after 6:00 (or later depending).

Seatbelts are for wimps, biotches!

Okay not really. Sometime during my childhood these became mandatory, at least in the front seat.   But I distinctly remember riding in my dads Monte Carlo which had a bench seat in the front.  I would STAND in the middle, between my parents as we drove around.  Once the "seatbelt" law happened (or was actually enforced)  I rode mainly in the back seat but I didn't wear a seat belt back there. I was too busy playing on the floor or pretending I was a cat in the back window...can you say WEIRD CHILD!

Also, my grandparents had this super cool Aerostar Van (that doesn't SCREAM 80's/early 90's at all).  Me and my cousins used to ride in style, what what! We also used to ride with no restraints.  I am talking jumping back and forth over the seats, playing on the floor and "hiding" in the "trunk" as we drove WTF MPH down I-10 heading to the Sunshine State. We gave no f**ks about safety, suck it seatbelts, we don't need no stinkin' seatbelts, ride or die, or something of that nature *muahahahaha*

Second hand smoke was a rite of passage

I HATED it but whatever.  How many of you rode in the car with parents that smoked?  My favorite was when it was raining and they would roll the windows UP and smoke in the car.  It was like driving in an f**cking cloud.  Who needs to see the road when you are happily puffing on a cancer stick.  Seriously, we would open the doors like a scene from a Cheech and Chong movie or Snoop Dog video.  Puff, puff give mo-fo...nah just ciggy smoke and a soccer mom with a couple kids. 

One memory I have takes place in the summer.  I had swimming lessons and had just spent the last hour soaking in chlorine when mom picked me up.  It was raining out so the ride home was windows up and ciggy lit.  That smell mixed with the chlorine burned into my nasal cavity was the strangest scent! It made me lightheaded and it was almost painful to breathe...which I am pretty sure is why I plastered myself to the floor of my mom's two door Mustang. I don't even want to know what kind of chemical high I was on at the ripe age of five.

When I got older I would roll the window down, regardless of the rain which got me smacked a few times because I was "ruining the interior of the car".  WHAT!??!!?  I'd rather be soaked...sorry, not sorry. 

Toys were so much more fun...and deadly!
 

That looks safe...right???

There were so many things I played with that would be banned today.  There is one thing I remember that would put most parents today in jail for child endangerment.  It was a giant plastic horse...suspended in a metal bar casing thing...attached with tightly coiled SPRINGS.  Uncovered springs...so you could pinch off a chunk of skin or a finger if you weren't "careful".  You climbed on it and bounced...you know like riding a real horse.  It even threw you off like a real horse because the springs were really unpredictable sometimes. If you bounced just right, it would go ten kinds of crazy wacky and throw you off like a bucking bronco!  I weighed negative nothing when I was a kid so I flew off of it more than once. 
 


But I usually got right back on without mom knowing a thing.  I mean how else was I supposed to play "She-ra Princess of Power" while watching the cartoon?!?  I was She-ra and my psycho rocking horse was Swift Wind, duh!




Also, who else remembers metal playground equipment???  I mean how many times did you burn off a layer skin going down the slide?  Or get a splinter from the wood seat on the seesaw? Or try to walk on top the monkey bars and then jump off? Or swing as high as possible and then jump off mid-upswing?  I mean did we all have a death wish?  And who wore sunscreen at the playground??? Its not like we were at the beach or anything! *phish*

SPF What...?

Speaking of sunscreen....I mean we wore "sunscreen" but only at the beach/pool.  That's the only place you can get sunburned...right???  Anyway, it was usually 15 on the face (because that was important to protect) and like 4 or 8 on the body...that's high enough right?  On the rare occasion my mom/step mom managed to wrangle me back under the umbrella and reapply at least to my face my pores were WIDE open and it would burn like fire!  Water babies made me cry like a baby.  I didn't wear a hat (often)...or a t-shirt...or anything else except my yellow polka dot bikini and my orange glitter gel SPF?  Am I paying for it now?  Yea a little.  I got some dark spots BUT I had a hell of a good time!  Shooo we used to take our naps on the beach...that's what the umbrella was for, right???

I also remember being maybe 10 (possibly younger) and going to the condo pool with just my cousins...adults came and checked on us (occasionally) but for the most part we were on our own... We also thought it was super cool to use that stupidly colored sunscreen and pretend like we were Indians...we were kids...it was the 80's/early 90's....shut up!





Anyway, I am sure there are a million other things but these are the ones that came to mind and made me giggle.  I do not have kids but I imagine my friends/relatives that do, would scream in horror if a child was allowed to do any of this today, hahaha.  

Death by c**k

Its not...its not what you think.  But is effing hilarious!!!!

So I was driving through God's country not too long ago and I realized how much of a city girl I am.  I like camping and such but I think I got some nature in my eye and I may need a spa day.

Like I said driving in no mans land LA for work and I decided to take a detour.  I swear I had good reasons.  But logically I should have stayed on the Interstate instead of following my Google Maps App saying to take this pitted two lane highway through small towns I've never heard of.  I'm talking population 50...if you count the livestock kind of towns. 

The speed limit signs were no where to be seen...yet I saw a plethora of small town coppers just a waiting to give out tickets.  It was the most panicked hour drive I have ever been on.  I had no idea if I should be going 60 MPH or 30 MPH or somewhere in the middle.  At one point I spotted a sign that did say 55 MPH and I was going 45 so I sped up, then 5 miles later it was 35 *slamming brakes* WTH man?!?!!  I hate you small town U.S.A!!!!  I had 18 wheelers and old ladies passing me and flipping me off but like hell I was getting a speeding ticket in one of these little towns!

Anyways, I got to this smallish town that most peeps in LA have heard of because of its Mardi Gras shenanigans that involves chickens.  I hadn't eaten all day and it was like 2:00 PM.  So I pulled off the highway towards a gas station to get a coke and chill for a second. The speed limit only dropped to 45 MPH, whoohoo!  Then something ran (or casually walked) into the road.  I hit the brakes cursing.  It was a f**king chicken...crossing the road... *sigh*.   I decided to text my BFF...the below happened and it was EPIC at least in my head.

Me: I almost hit a chicken crossing the road...

Me:  There's a joke in there somewhere...
Her: LOL! So I take it you're enjoying the drive
Me: I stand corrected it was actually a rooster (the damn thing just looked at me a cock a doodle doo-ed its little brains out....)
Me: OMG I could have died.........death by c**k lol!!!

Her: O.M.G.

Me: Talk about FOWL play
Me: Oh God someone stop me...I think I need food!

Her: No, please don't stop LOL!!!!!!!!!

In conclusion, I am f**king hilarious when my blood sugar is low!

Sure, lets all sign a blood pact and die slowly together!

So there is this smoking ban possibly happening down here...it is causing a very heated debate and I don't quite get what all the hubbub is about.  I do not smoke...never have...well not...not important.  Anyways, I've always HATED IT.  I grew up in a strangely typical 80's household where both parents smoked...inside...with me there...and in the car...with me there.  I didn't realize how much I disliked it until my dad remarried and wasn't allowed to smoke indoors.  That is when I started to notice things...like everything I owned smelled like an ashtray.  Dude I was like 10 and started getting paranoid!  This must mean when I go to school...OMG!  Things happened and my mom thoroughly hated my antics until I went to college but that is for another blog post. 


My point is I have a strong dislike for being around smoke so I may be a bit biased.  With that said when I turned 18 (possibly a little before - tee hee hee) I started going out...party all night...come home sweaty and smelling like a pack of ciggys.  Nothing abnormal about that...its just how things were.   Then I started having a skin reaction.  That's right as a blossoming young adult I developed a rather odd allergy.  Whenever I was surrounded by clouds of smoke, even worse in a poorly ventilated area, (be it a club or a house/apt) my eyes would burn almost unbearably and the next day I wouldn't have just normal purple circles under my eyes...they would be bright red and puffy.  The skin would eventually HARDEN, turn scaly (ewwww), and peel off.  "Hmmmm that's odd."  Anyways we discovered I developed an allergy to smoke...go figure.  I dealt with it...what was I going to not go out...are you kidding, I was in college!  I learned to live with it (cortisone creme was my BFF)...then I went to New York and my perception was forever changed.

You see they had recently passed a law there where you couldn't smoke in a restaurant/bar/club/public area/whatever.  Down here we were working on the just banning it in food establishments (which didn't happen until 2007).  It was amazing.  We went back to the hotel after going out and didn't smell like we bathed in an ashtray!  Of course this was short lived as we came home...back to the smokey bars and clubs of the south. 

I have NEVER forgotten that and have always wished something like that would happen down here.  I have so many friends and family that work in the bar/club industry.  Some do smoke but many don't.  It cannot be good for them to be immersed in that much second hand smoke all the time.  So I was ecstatic when there was talk of this ban. But apparently smokers and non-smokers alike who work in the industry are very upset.  Saying that this will be the end of Bourbon Street...it will kill revenue at the casino...people will lose their jobs. 

Look I am not dumb, I am aware the industry will probably take a hit.  People may stop going out to some of these establishments because they cannot smoke inside or whatever.  But isn't this worth it?!?!  Not only a healthier environment for the workers and non-smoking patrons BUT it would encourage others to possibly quit...maybe.  I am sure the markets in NY and CA (among countless other individual counties/cities) took hits when they banned smoking in bars but I am fairly certain they have recovered.   I just don't see a strong enough argument against the ban.  I guess it could affect tourism but I don't believe it will be to the degree that people are screaming.  I may be completely wrong but I don't think people specifically travel here just because they can smoke in our establishments.  There are studies...many many studies showing no adverse affects on businesses caused by smoking bans. I dunno...I know business owners feel like their right to choose is being taken away...I just can't get behind it to continue with everything we know. 

I think all the rigamarole is because people inherently don't like change.  This is something different therefore it is seen as bad.  Look it is 2015, we all know the dangers of smoking and secondhand smoke.  It may not be proven 100% to cause cancer (2nd hand smoke) but it causes a load of other issues.  This is a step in the right direction, not something negative.

P.S.  Yes I think there are other more important things to be concerned about like the increase in crime in the City but this is what they are talking about right now.

**NOTE**- I am not a business owner nor do I work in the industry so I may be missing a huge piece of the puzzle.  

I got you babe!

Hahaha, whomever was DJ-ing early this morning on one of the local radio stations...you sir/ma'am WIN for today! 

I woke up as usual to my blaring phone alarm.  I went in my bathroom to get ready and turned on the radio.  I was immediately greeted with the refrain of "I got you babe".  Which made me think of Groundhog Day (the movie).  Then I realized today IS Groundhog Day and I just giggled and giggled. 

You see I love that movie.  I have seen it countless times.  And every time, every single time, it still gets me.  It has a profound message.  This @$$hat of a weatherman is forced to relive the same mundane day over and over and over.  To the point where he does ridiculous things, does wonderful things and even kills himself a few times only to be awakened again by the iconic voices of Sonny & Cher and realize it is yet again Groundhog Day. 

It is a second chances movie.  He is forced to keep reliving the same day until he gets it right.  Fate/the universe/some deity stepped in (probably Gabriel...dang trickster) to change his path.  How many people wish for something like this?  I mean not exactly like this but to learn a lifetime of mistakes in "one day" so that for the rest of your life you can make the better choice.  You can learn why you shouldn't be horrible to others just because you feel like you are better then them (you should already know this but whatever).  Seriously, don't be a like Luci...don't be a "great big bag of dicks".  Clearly there will still be hardships and bad decisions but for the most part this guy learned to be a better person, that has to mean something. 

Anyways, kudos to you local radio DJ, you made my morning and made me want to go home and watch Groundhog Day for the umpteenth time!  The only thing that would have made me giggle more is if  it was Tuesday and I also heard "Heat of the Moment".  That my friend would have been EPIC.