They both take place in Space...it could totally work!

Conversation:

Me: Why can I watch some movies a million times and never get really tired of them?
Hubs: Dunno, I'm not like that
Me: *glare*
Hubs: What movie were you watching?
Me: *distracted* Guardians of Gallifrey
Hubs: Huh?
Me:  *still distracted* You know with the Racoon and the Tree?
Hubs: Oh...I was thinking with the Time Lord and Police Box
Me:*blank stare* *thinking* *realization* *hysterical laughter*
Hubs: Are you okay?
Me: *trying to talk and failing* *crying laughing*
Hubs: *concerned stare* NOLA Gurl...?
Me: OMG...OMG...OMG someone write this!  Not me...someone else...who writes better...
Hubs: *knocking on my head* Helllllooooo
Me: Time Lord...Star Lord...close enough...
Hubs: What?!?
Me: There was a living tree lady in Season One...Oh, and she could still be Nebula...
Hubs: *guiding me down the hall* Bed time for the wifey
Me: *wistfully* I don't want to go
Hubs: *blank stare*
Me: *uncontrollable laughter* I am funny! *snort*
Hubs: When was the last time you slept...?

Clearly, my imagination runs wild when I'm tired...exhausted...sleep deprived...

Just call me...f**k he doesn't have a NAME...only "The Narrator"...fine, call me...The...Narrator...

1st rule of Fight Club...well at least I'm not Tyler Durden...

So I came to an uncomfortable realization.  I think I use TV/Movies to express emotions that I don't normally..."express".  I mean I have emotions but some seem to come out more freely when entranced by a show...or a book...usually a show...occasionally a "short story" (not Fan Fiction) *uncomfortable laugh*.  They are my "meetings". 

I know I know I know you are over there like:

But hear me out.  I get happy, I get sad, I get in-between...I prefer happy.  So I am ALWAYS "happy"...even when I should probably be sad.  But I don't like to be sad, so as much as I preach "its okay to cry"...I usually don't.  At least not in-front of others...rarely in-front of others.

The thing is I don't do it because I can't feel...I do it because I don't want to (do not Freud me...I know this isn't "normal"). 

I find that I find my release...my coping...my "its okay to cry" coming from fiction...crap!

I relate sad things in fiction to things that happen (or could happen) in my life or around me and have an emotional response.  I am am empathetic person.  If you are sad, I can relate and get sad...I just don't always fully project it until I am alone.

For example...watching the Series Finale of Lost Girl...not terribly sad but sad enough.  Tamsin f**king died after childbirth...that is a relatable thing...*level: tears*.  Her daughter grows up loved but without a mother...also relatable...*level: sobbing*.  Bo and the gang watch out for her...Bo says to her "I won't let you become a 'Lost Girl'..." JFC just rip my heart out people! *level: rocking in corner*

My point is it wasn't THAT sad to illicit the response(s) I had to it.  I find this happens with other shows/stories.  I wasn't a fan of Danny Pink on Doctor Who but I teared up when he died/sacrificed himself...don't even talk to me about Clara's death *level: don't f**king touch me*.  The parting of The Doctor and Rose...RELATABLE...*level: snot bubble*.  I could also just say...Vincent Van Gogh *level: silent ugly sobs*.  The series finale of House (dammit House!!!) *level: laughing through tears*.  Or...Allegiant (the book) *level: denial...why is my face wet, its not sad...she isn't DEAD* Hmmm, maybe I just don't like endings...the finality of things.

Crap, now I'm Freud-ing myself. 

No worries, I am not developing a split personality.  I will not have a Tyler Durden side that creates a club where we beat the $hit out of each other just to "feel".  But I do have a feeling I am not alone...others are probably similar.  I don't know why we do it (and I'm not gonna analyze that, EVER) but it works for me so why change it.

Shut up Tyler!

I think we are overdue for a new plague...

Alright, that sounds really awful and honestly I do not want to go through something like that.  But as stated in a previous post our society is in a downward spiral plummeting towards something really really really REALLY bad. 

I don't know what happened.  I am not a religious fanatic (obviously but I still have MORALS) so I'm not gonna be like "y'all need Jesus" but...ya know what "y'all need Jesus!" Or at least what he represented.  Some sort of moral compass.  Love thy neighbor.  Don't take what isn't yours.  Quit MURDERING people...which if we are being truthful that kind of goes along with the "don't take what isn't yours" thing.  Their LIFE isn't yours to take!!!!!!!

Why can't people cope with their life without enacting harm on another person?!?!  It's like an epidemic!  Life is hard, I know this.  I have stupid crap happen all the time.  Look rejection sucks...but...Rejection.is.normal.  Rejection is a healthy part of life.  Rejection makes you strive harder.  Rejection makes you better yourself so that next time you get what ever it was. 

You will not always make the team. 
You will not always get the job. 
You will not always get the promotion. 
You will not always get the girl/guy. 
You will not always GET WHAT YOU WANT. 

That doesn't mean that you now have the right to harm another person because you were rejected.

Maybe its because I am older but I really feel like the world has become an absolute nightmare.  A place where you can hurt someone or take their life just because YOU feel wronged in some way.  More often than not I am hearing about people who take EXTREME measures against others because they didn't get their way.  It is like they never got passed that Toddler Temper Tantrum phase. 

If a girl/guy/company rejects you:

- You do have the right to be upset
- You do have the right to be angry
- You do have the right to throw YOUR things, in YOUR residence
     ***not at another living creature
- You do have the right to question YOUR choices

- You do not have the right to physically attack anyone
     ***which also means not MURDERING them whether by your hand or a hired one
- You do not have the right to stalk - This includes but is not limited to:
    - Showing up at their work
    - Showing up at their home
    - Showing up when they are out with friends/family
- You do not have the right to harass them
- You do not have the right to damage their property - This includes but is not limited to:
    - Slashing their tires
    - Breaking their windshields
    - Throwing bricks through windows
- You do not have the right to harass their friends/family
- You do not have the right to harm their pets (there is a special place in hell for you if you do)


Just because you have been "wronged" does NOT give you the right to do anything but move on.  You should NEVER lay hands on another person unless in self defense.

No I wasn't attacked but someone I know lost their CHILD because of a "jealous" ex.   It doesn't matter that this person was an adult...they are still someone's CHILD and their life ended prematurely because someone else couldn't cope with them moving on with THEIR LIFE. 

P.S. This includes when you are a parent.  If your child is rejected, teach them a lesson...don't go bat$hit crazy to "save" their feelings.  You are making it WORSE.

P.P.S. People have differing opinions and lifestyles.  Unless their choices are harming you in some way (which is RARE) you have NO RIGHT to harm them or control them.  Live YOUR life and leave them alone to live THEIR life. 

Soooo should I or shouldn't I rub a lemon in my axilla...area...

Click bait *ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*, *psycho music*, screw you interwebs

I saw this on Pinterest and it piqued my curiosity.

Mainly because the only response I had was "ummmm I dunno...it would burn...I guess".  Oh and "why is there an 'it' in there...it doesn't need an 'it'...take out the 'it'!!!"

So I stupidly clicked the link. 


1. Some video started screaming at me (I hate those things!)
2. It was one of those click through slide shows (I REALLY hate those things)
3. This was the first slide

     3a.  Okaaaaay.  That is how to use Citrus on skin...not specifically underarms...lets click through
4. Next was "moisturize" (Cassandra is that you???), then "sunscreen", then like vitamins or some
    nonsense....
     4a. Not ONE f**king slide talked about armpits (wow that sounds much worse when I say it out 
     loud)
5.  The site was so "loaded" with BS it killed my web browser

So now I am annoyed because I had to log back in to everything AND I still don't know what happens when you put lemon on your pits.

My assumptions are it will shrink pores and reduce acne...I don't know why I need this kind of treatment for my arm pits but its on Pinterest so it must be good...right?!?! 

Maybe it kills bacteria that causes odor...or you will just smell lemony fresh...for a bit. 

Can you imagine my hubs coming home and seeing me rubbing half a lemon under my arm....?!?!

How hard do you "rub"? 
Do you leave it on or rinse it off?
Do you do this before or after showering?!?!!?
Does it matter what kind of lemon? 
Can I just use lemon juice from a jar (Not from concentrate)? 

I have so many questions....

***Directions unclear: I now have "fresh" squeezed lemon juice and I smell like a walking can of pledge...who is thirsty? Also, I seem to have attracted ants...***

SIDE NOTE - I am NOT actually trying this...it just sounds like something that would end badly for me.  #mypitsareonfire

SIDE SIDE NOTE - I'd somehow get it in my eye and go blind or something

Dance monkey, dance! *muahahaha*

I was told that "dancing" is not exercise.  Pardon?!?  My friend, dancing is most certainly exercise.  It is cardio, toning, and builds muscle.  But it's "girly" *hello, 1950's...when did you show up*. 

Dancing isn't just GIRLY...just like other sports aren't just BOYLY...manish...manly...whatever.  Dancing is a sport, you tw@t.  So I issued a challenge we do my "not really exercise" Zumba/Hip Hop dancing and then we will do running on a treadmill and weights.  We did this all in ONE day...there was a 3 hour break for food and "recovery".

Side Note - I alternate with the treadmill and weights too...so suck it Trebek. 

During Dance time:

I am surprisingly coordinated and KNEW the dances so while I probably don't look "great" I was more the "How I think I look" and they were more the "How I actually look"

 

After 1 hour of Zumba/Hip Hop:
Me (I mean, I wasn't pretty but full of energy):

I found this online...couldn't find a person to credit...sorry.

Them:

***3 hours later***

It was time for their "exercise".  This meant 2+ miles on the treadmill and using the machines.  I was told "try to keep up".  Okay FINE!  I may not run as fast as them but I can run...they finished their miles before I did.  Once done I did 6 sets of 10 on 6 of the 10 machines (focusing on arms and abs). 

When I was done I found them

Not mine: Photo: istolethetv/Flickr

Me: Ummm you okay??? 
Them: I can't feel my legs...and it hurts to breathe a bit
Me: Too many weights...?
Them:  I didn't do the machines
Me: ??? 
Them:  You win...Dancing hurts
Me: *laughing hysterically*
Them: Its not funny
Me: *still laughing*

I might not be in the BEST shape...I could use some improvement but I clearly have a better endurance than someone who just does a little cardio with a lot of weights. 

**Next Day** I was told muscles hurt that they didn't know existed.  

That's right boo...dancing is a FULL body workout not just certain areas.  Next step...YOGA *muahahaha*

**SIDE NOTE** This wasn't my sig other...he knows better *ehhhehehehe*. 

Can you accidently open a portal by just WATCHING those stupid TV shows?!?!?!

I spooked myself so bad.  I was home alone *doh* and decided to watch Sunday night TV.  Normally I watch the FOX lineup and Downton Abby but FOX had on The Passion Live (which I watched) and well the other one ended *wah*.  What does any normal person do after watching a live action bible story...they watch the new episode of "A Haunting", duh! 

Mind you prior to the live show I was watching reruns of A Haunting....like all day!  I clearly watch these kinds of shows all the time.  A Haunting, My Haunted House, Paranormal Lock down, Paranormal Survivor, Ghost Hunters, Celebrity Ghost Stories, Paranormal Witness...I think you get the idea.  And while sometimes they give me the heebie jeebies, I am not usually scared...most times I'm just intrigued.  I mean I know some people are nutters but they can't ALL be making this $hit up...right?!?!

So as I said it was a NEW episode of A Haunting so I was like sure why not *BAD IDEA*.  This episode was about a DEMON that attached itself to a young girl. 

*quick recap* Her dad died before she was born. Weird $hit starts happening in the house like 9 years later. They think its dad.  Little girl sees dad.  Its not dad, it morphs into this horrifying creature with f**king cat eyes (oh hello "yellow eyes"...watch SPN).  It DRAGS the little girl around the house, hides in the closet/bathroom/HER BEDROOM and is very violent.  I'm freaking out a bit...this is kind of scary.  

Moving on, I go to bed a little spooked but I am fine.  As I am showering I heard a noise so I opened my eyes and see a distorted face staring at me through the curtain, *yipahhhhhhh*...Dammit dog...quit being creepy. I finish up and go to lay down.  Speedy starts going BAT$HIT crazy.  Ummmm...dog....Dog...DOG...STAHP!  He is barking and growling at me.  He is BITING at my arm and literally pulled me off the bed.  He stopped...I got back in bed and he went ape$hit again pulling on my arm.  "What is wrong with you?!!?!"  It started to hurt so I yelled and he stopped.  I laid down and he climbed on top of me...growling...NOT at me, just in general.  "WTF dog, it is NOT play time. Go to sleep, you are freaking me out!"

I got comfy and started reading my book.  I was just starting to get drowsy when one side of my closet doors slowly popped open (its two of those two panel sliding ones). *eeeeeep* "Its a cat. *sees cat in my lap* Its the other cat " I crawled to the edge of my bed....no cat.  "f**k, f**k, f**k."  I pushed the door closed.  I attempted to get comfy again...it popped open again, no cat in sight...*sigh* "I'm going to die".  I pushed it closed.  I just laid back down when my door popped open again *staring in horror* and then one of the doors on my husbands popped open *scream* I dove to the foot of the bed and I thought I saw a black shadow go under the bed.  "WTF this isn't funny!!!"  That was the black cat...right....RIGHT?!?!?  Old lady cat starts "complaining" and growling.  "Oh just f**k me sideways, what is happening?!?!!?"

I jumped up, closed my closet...tethered it shut with a rope belt thing.  I closed the husbands closet and blocked it with the laundry basket, then looked under the bed.  Nothing...no cat....*breathing heavy* "Its fine, we are fine...its FINE!" 

I am now just staring at the TV waiting for something...nothing happens *whew*.  I eventually start to doze off and I hear *knock knock knock* *eyes pop open* *whimper* *pulls covers higher*.  I am clearly hearing things.  *knock knock knock* My closet door is moving but can't open.  "$hit $hit...its a cat, its a cat".  *bang bang bang*. Speedy starts growling, old lady runs out of the room.  "OMG I am going to be a statistic!"  I dove to the edge of the bed...nothing *sobbing* "It has to be a f**king cat!"

So now I am going to be the "stupid girl" from the horror movies.  I slowly lowered myself to look under the bed.  I hear a *hiss* and two glowing eyes come darting at my face.  I screamed, speedy is barking, I fell off the bed head first (we have tile floor...OW!) and now have a black cat playfully attacking my arm.  *with a shaky voice* "I f**king hate you!!!! You know that right!"

It was Demon Spawn.  Apparently she wanted to mess with me for some ungodly reason.  She was popping the doors open and then hiding under the bed, I guess.  Her collar is broken so there isn't a bell. She is in super stealth mode at the moment!  

Soooooo not a spirit or whatever...just an @$$hole cat.  

What is happening?!?! The Passion isn't supposed to make me laugh....

Oh man...oh man...I am so going to hell now.  Y'all!  Y'aaaaaall!  Alright I am watching "The Passion Live".  And it's not bad....really.  Its...just...uh...different.

I am mainly watching because it is in NOLA (NOLA Proud, what what) but I am also watching because it honestly looked good.  And despite the goofiness I post, I was raised Catholic so I wanted to see it.  And it really is good.  But the modernizing of the story of The Passion of Christ is TRIPPING ME OUT! 

I know they said it would be a retelling of the story with modern songs and stuff but I lost it a bit as Jesus and Peter started singing "Home" while walking down Royal Street.  Its fitting but it caught me off guard.

Flash forward to the breaking of bread thing and Jesus bought his bread from a FOOD TRUCK.  I was dying.  He walked up and was like "3 loaves of bread please".  *snort*

Then Judas is having an internal conflict and busted out "Bring Me To Life".  And while I LOVE that song and Daughtry was pretty phenomenal....I just...I guess I never thought of that song fitting with this story.  But it did.  Dang it...I'm conflicted. 

Moving on.  I am home alone and they are all sleeping under the CCC.  And he's about to be arrested, right.  The freaking NOPD S.W.A.T.  team shows up to arrest Jesus.  I lost my $hit.  I said "Dammit NOPD this is why we can't have nice things!  You arrested the Messiah!!!!" And I died laughing a little and then said "OMG, this show is making me a really bad person!"

So I am thinking this can't get any "weirder" and *BAM* Peter is walking through a NOLA hood being asked if he was with that Jesus guy (he denies it...typical).  Then he sings "The Reason" in a freaking NOLA Cemetery and I just...what is happening?!?!?

Suddenly we are watching Jesus get dragged on stage by the S.W.A.T. team in....AN ORANGE JUMP SUIT!  I legit *snorted*.  It's not funny, dang it!  This is a serious part of the story!!!  He is standing trial...and I am a giggling mess on my couch.  "Ooooo no honey boo, orange is NOT your color" (in my best impression of Agador from The Birdcage).

You can't tell me that wouldn't make you laugh...?!?!?!

Holla, Jesus is on top of the freaking WESTIN hotel singing "Unconditionally".  It made me smile but like a happy smile.  I love this song and it does fit well.  Then I got nervous because he is WAY up there and its windy tonight.  But I will say the wind made for a fairly awesome scene. 

And then....we pan out and see my BEAUTIFUL city! Closing with "When the Saints go Marching in" and I just...what an odd choice....I love you NOLA! Never change!!!!

Okay all in all, it was pretty great!  Now when I hear these songs I will think of this.  And that isn't necessarily a bad thing.  I just couldn't stop my giggles...so sue me!