Monday, March 6, 2017

Please stop talking...pretty please...oh dear this is painful

Right so I am apparently too nice...and too friendly.  Complete strangers tell me the weirdest and sometimes very personal things.  But its not a bad thing and I guess sometimes people just need to get it out.

Right so called someone I am not necessarily close to but have known via business for years.  And the following happened:

Jane: Hello.
Me: Hi Jane! I need your help with _______
Jane: *Silence* Hi...NOLA Gurl
Me: *less joyous* Did you see my email?
Jane: Yes but...but I haven't really been in...I...did I tell you about my relative?
Me: Wha...? No...
Jane: They died...
Me: *danger will Robinson* *abort abort* Oh honey I am so sorry...
*thinking this was the end of it and we'd move to another subject*
Jane: They had (insert AWFUL disease) and...well I am one of many...and...they well they caused it themselves.  They started (insert bad habit) after a bad relationship.  And their kids stopped coming around and we gave up.  And their mom took care of them when they got too sick.  And...well I decided to help to give the mom a break.  But I made sure those kids started mending the relationship because they would regret it. 
So I helped and it was okay.  We talked and bickered and I helped them to bed.  Then things went bad.  They were drooling excessively.  Something just wasn't right.  So we called an ambulance and within 24 hours they died of an internal hemorrhage. 
And the funeral was yesterday....
(short version...there was much more but...)
 Me: Why are you at work?  I mean I know its a distraction but...are you okay...? 
(I know, I know dumb question...obviously NOT okay but I was on the verge of tears.)
Jane:  If I stay home I'll cry all day and night.  It was a big funeral. It was nice but its all a blur.  We are doing something as a family to try to heal.  They weren't that old.  I am just scattered.

Me:  I can't even imagine.  Again I am so incredibly sorry...but at least you got to see them again before they died. 
Jane:  Yes...that helps.  I was....I was the last person they saw.
*suddenly back to business* 
I gave my condolences again and we disconnected. 

I was CRYING at my desk after.  How horrible!  I mean I know they were suffering with this illness but Jiminy Cricket that hurt me and I don't even know them.  Its just so sad.
My take away.  Don't take anyone for granted.  You never know when they may not be there anymore.  Even if you are fighting...even if they are stubborn...try to make amends because you just don't know what is going to happen tomorrow.

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