**Take 1** Someone should video me doing yard work or house work. Not in a creepy way. I really think I could bring laughter to millions.

I am not one to shy away from #get$hitdone.  I will get dirty/icky if I need to.  I do manual labor when necessary.  I only truly fear one critter (bug who shall not be named).  People should learn from  me (not really, that could be bad).  Also, I act a fool in public...maybe I should have my own sitcom. 

Take 1:

When trimming the hedges (bushes) always beware of wildlife.  It can come in many forms.  The form I am used to dealing with is a royal @$$hole.  His people are known as wasps and they basically claim all lands.

Ima f**k you up! (Not my pic)

So when I hedge, I keep a can of Wasp Spray near by.  The problem is they don't always reveal themselves right away.  This causes me to look like a ninja while gardening. 

Not my pic

My neighbors can regularly see me "dancing" in the front yard.  *run close to the bush, snip-snip, run away from the bush, rinse, repeat*  This gives me the opportunity to run like my @$$ is on fire if indeed there are wasps hiding out.  My recent hedging did not disappoint.  I was "dancing" when a wasp came at me, "ahhhhhh run away, run away!" But I got him, muhahahaha.  As I was about to do my victory jig something pegged me in the head.  *crouching tiger*  

Not my pic

WTF?!? I looked up and saw nothing.  Hmmmm.  So I continued trimming.  Out of no where this bright @$$ red bird flies at my face *scream* *drop trimmers* *runs away*. 

Caw caw mother f**ker! (not my pic)

I swear I looked like Ace Ventura when he encounters bats! 

Not my gif

 Am I in a Hitchcock film?!?!  I slowly approached the bush and kicked it (smart, I know).  *screeeeeeech* *chirp chirp chirp* *running away* "ahhhhhh its going to peck my eyes out!". 

Who needs wings, when I can just dive bomb your face! (Not my Pic)

I crept back to the bush (seriously, I need to learn when to just give up) and gently parted the branches. 

Not my pic

Only to be almost face to face with a royally PISSED OFF momma bird and 3 lil babies.  "dawwwww" *smiles*.  *screeeeeeech* "$hit!" Here comes daddy *running away* "Okay okay, I'll stop trimming, geesh!".