Do I look like a sinner? What exactly does a sinner look like? How does a cute smiling business professional equal "you need religion"?!?!?!?!

So I was checking out at the store completely absorbed in the bickering couple in front of me.  They were HILARIOUS!  I'll recap their convo in another post.  So anyways, as I am patiently waiting my turn this tiny Asian woman taps me on the shoulder, hands me a tiny booklet about the size of a checkbook and says "you need this". She pats me on the shoulder and looks at me expectantly, meanwhile her husband shakes his head and looks away.  It was black and orange so OF COURSE I thought it was something Halloween related.  (shoosh, I have Halloween on the brain, alright?!?)
 

A serial killer...right?!?!?

 Then I opened it up...

 And I just, okay...I should have expected that...

SIDE NOTE - I am getting a "Walking Dead" vibe from that "blind" man...you can't fool me brain eating zombie!



I'm not concerned that it is a religious message...that's fine. 

Why is Ray Charles in my comic?!?

I'm more concerned about the representation of humanity...

You know, I don't think the answer will surprise me since you said "Jesus" 50 times.

Also, do demons really say "Yaaah!" when being exorcised?????  Supernatural forgot to teach me that!

"He's got the whole world universe, in his hands. He's got the whole wide world universe in his hands....."

Hmmmm and here I was thinking it was gravitational pulls, dark matter, and whatnot.  (shut up I know its metaphorical...at least I hope...).  Completed control...What about Free Will...?

Like how soon...?  Will I get to at least see what happens on the new X-Files?!?!? (sorry...not sorry)

I'm no expert here but that looks like an invasion.  Hasn't anyone seen a sci-fi movie?!!?!?  That is what happens when Loki opens the portal and the Chitauri come through!  So Jesus is an Alien?!?!  Someone call Giorgio Tsoukalos and tell him he was right after-all. 


There is only one way into heaven...

And it seems to involve a....book? (psssst not the Bible...well the Bible too but don't forget this one...shhhh)

Ahhhhh, I see now...you want some money...that's what will "help" save me.  Good one Jesus comic *rolling eyes*.

So all that to get me to buy a book...really?!?!?

And people wonder why I am so weird when it comes to religion.  I have faith but as I get older my views and understanding change.  I'm not saying these people's beliefs are wrong, I am just saying its rude to tell a complete stranger they need Jesus.  I'm really not trying to be an @$$hat.  No but really why the hell did that woman think I "needed this"?!?!?!?  I clearly look like a heathen in need of saving in my black work pants and pink conservative blouse, buying laundry detergent and cat food.  *hisses*