You want me to steam my what?!?!

So I am not a medical professional but I just read that a certain celebrity is yabbering about this "AMAZING" treatment that involves steaming your lady parts.  I swear I heard my lady parts scream at the thought.  

"You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release—not just a steam douche—that balances female hormone levels. If you’re in LA, you have to do it."

Look, I take hot showers...like burn the 1st layer of skin off hot but something about squatting (sitting) over a pot to expose your Garden of Eden to an herbal steam bath just doesn't seem appealing. I mean steam is water that got too hot to stay liquid so it became a vapor...to me having THAT blow up my hooha sounds unpleasant.  Throw in the herbs that are supposed to balance your hormones and wait...what?!?  I know you can breathe vapor into your lungs and they can absorb things like herbs or meds.  But your vag doesn't breathe and if it does you should see a Doctor stat.  So if it doesn't "breathe" the herbal vapor into the blood stream...can it absorb it?  I honestly have no idea...I should research.

Side Note - I put lotion on the other day that had peppermint in it...you know it makes your skin all tingly for a hot second and smells delicious.  Anyway, I happened to touch a certain area (not in that way you perv!) not long after applying it and I swear to God it felt like I lit a match in my pants...who knew she had such a dislike of peppermint.  With that said steamed herbs may piss her off just the same. 

It also said something about cleansing your uterus...again not a Doc but how does it get into the uterus...?  Sitting in water doesn't make water go in there so why would steam float up in there...I feel like I am missing something.

Whatever the case may be I think I'll leave this one to the celebs and trendy folk because my reproductive system is already temperamental.  If I tried to steam it, it very well may pack up its egg cases and vacate my body while I am sleeping leaving a note that says "if you want a steamed clam, go to a restaurant".

In all seriousness though apparently this is like some ancient medical thing that is having a resurgence.  Who am I to judge?  If you like it, more power to you.  I've not tried it and I probably wont but others have and seem to enjoy it.  See Here.  No really, read that article because it is hilarious!  I've been laughing for ten minutes.