...I feel like as a whole we are all desensitized to basically everything. There is almost no shock factor left. "Oh look a mutilated body on a TV show" we should be horrified...instead many are like "Eh, that is so something I saw on the news yesterday." Me, "holy crap they just showed an intense love scene in a music video." The entertainment world, "we basically create critically acclaimed porn".
Moving on, anyone else noticing this warped sexual fantasy thing people seem to be delving into. I am not knocking anyone. It is all over TV and movies and BOOKS. And some of it is kinda hot. What ever floats your boat is fine by me as long as no one is harmed in the process and all parties are willing. I am more talking about the glamorization of abusive relationships masked as love with some spice (chains and whips, excite me). Again not knocking the spicy part...I am knocking the underlying abuse. Like the things that should SCREAM bad relationship.
Its those books that are now a movie franchise. Most of us have read them (I did). Most of us were COMPLETELY in love with Mr. Sexy Crazy, well by the end of the 2nd book we were. It was a guilty pleasure...an addiction...why were we so consumed?!?! What most of us didn't do was reflect on what actually happened in the books and realize what an EFFED up person Mr. Sexy Crazy truly is. I mean maybe you thought "well that's not normal" while reading but you immediately forgot that as he passionately slammed her against the elevator wall. I am not innocent of these thoughts. I read all three books in record time and was completely obsessed with the characters. I gave them all 5 stars and raved about how amazing they were causing more people I know to read them. It was like a drug you could pass along infinitely to your friends.
After reading some questionable comments about them, I re-read the books thinking people were just stupid and didn't get it. It was then that I realized this story is in fact terrible. It promotes unhealthy relationships. It encourages obsessive and unhealthy behaviors. For gods sake there is a flipping contract...and it is DISTURBING to say the least, seriously go back and read it! You are literally signing over your life and freedom to someone else...how did I not catch this in its entirety before?!?! Giving them permission to essentially torture you for sexual gratification. I get we are going for ultimate submissive here but something just doesn't sit right. He needs to control her (notice I said needs and not wants...there is a difference) because he was an abused adolescent...this isn't sexy...it is sad. And the underlying message throughout is that she can see the "loving" side of him...she thinks she can change him...she thinks she can fix him...a baby can make it all better (well not at first)...that is why this is fiction...that rarely happens...I would say never but you should never, say never.
Anyway, two consenting adults going into this contract situation whatever, to each his own. But in the book she is so green and he totally doesn't care. You can say he tried to run her off but he really didn't. And she signed it with no real thought to it. He BEAT her! Does no one else remember that??? He spanked her so hard she had welts and couldn't sit at all because according to the contract she misbehaved and he had a right to show up at her apartment and lay hands on her...after she pretty much ran away from him. (I may be mixing up chapters but this is how I remembered it.)Yea, yea she signed a contract but is that how it really works?!?
Not to mention she said "and he touched me 'there'" more than necessary. I mean if we are going for the extreme sexual fantasy factor you might as well say clit or something. "But NOLAGurl she is supposed to be innocent." Screw that I know "innocent" women who know how to use adult words. If she said it once or twice at the beginning fine, but after that...COME ON!
I dunno...I read them, I am guilty of loving the books. But once re-read they really do paint a rather disturbing portrait of the world of BDSM...and from what I gather not an entirely accurate portrait. I am sure there are healthier ways to have a dominant/submissive relationship than what is portrayed. I am all for sexual exploration...this seems more like exploitation.
**UPDATE**
I saw something on Tumblr (hush) and I feel like both posts linked below kind of agree with what I am saying. I don't know much about this actual lifestyle but anyways, see below. Scroll down past the pics (which is the type of stuff I was talking about above) and see the "arguments".
Post 1
Post 2
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