My vagina says you're an @$$hole

Just because you have a penis doesn't mean you can do or say whatever you want.  It goes the other way too.  Just  because you lack a penis doesn't mean you can do or say what you want.  Basically, genitalia shouldn't determine how you treat people.

With that said, I don't care how angry you are...you never never NEVER speak like this to a vendor/client/other human being. 

A client messed up.  Not a big mess up but an annoyance, EASILY fixable.  Except he didn't want to accept he was responsible for creating said annoyance.  So he proceeded to lose his f**king mind on the phone.  At first he just yelled a lot and spoke over me. 

With every shred of patience I could muster I waited until he was done and tried speaking again.  After carefully telling him there was an issue but I could fix it, he started screaming at me that I TOLD him to do it that way.  Ummm no I didn't.  Yes, you did.  Right, lets agree to disagree and get this fixed. 

But it didn't stop there.  As I was actively trying to find a feasible solution he was flipping out about how stupid we are, how stupid our system is, how inconvenient it is that he has to do all the work to fix HIS mistake.  I ignored the slimy dick socket while I chatted online with my CSR. 

Then I hear him pull the phone away from his ear and growl like a f**king psychopath.  He came back and asked if I was going to attempt to fix it or if I fell asleep. 

I calmly responded with "I am chatting with a CSR right now to come up with the best solution." He pulled the phone away AGAIN and growled like a rabid dog, came back and yelled "well I didn't f**king know that now did I?!?!?"

To which I replied, I got tired of you "speaking" over my explanations and decided to just fix it.  The insecure crotch goblin did his best impression of Beast roaring into the phone and screamed "you can't speak to me like that you ignorant c**t!!!!!!!!!!!" 

I immediately hung up the phone and told my boss.  Me and my CSR implemented the solution but I still needed to tell him it was fixed.  Before I could think about just sending an email my phone rang. 

I answered sweet as pie to a fuming psychopath who demanded to speak to my boss.  Sure, whatever.  My boss came on the line and introduced HERself.  The infected whale vagina says eerily calm, "I said I wanted to speak to the boss not another b**ch playing boss". 

The call was immediately terminated. 

My boss called his boss...hilarity ensued.  Mainly because that white trash taint monster tried to deny EVERYTHING.  Um sir, remember when you called in and the automated assistant said "this call may be recorded for quality assurance".  Yea, you were recorded. 

I may have gotten someone fired and honestly I don't f**king care.  Yes, I know I am being insulting here but I didn't say it to him or his boss...therefore I win the decent human award for the day.

Lesson of the Day:  Don't speak poorly to people and if you do for whatever reason make sure you aren't being recorded...dip$hit!  What is wrong in your life that you feel like that was an acceptable response to "I f**ked up and need your help".

Natural Selection.....

I try not to judge but come on people!

1.)  If you have to boil water for drinking (we were under a boil water advisory after the freeze)...LET THE WATER COOL BEFORE DRINKING IT!  Very young kids may not understand this but f**king adults should know not to swallow scalding water ffs!  Ours news stations actually had to say this...

2.) Ice = Slippery.  If you venture out unnecessarily when everyone and their grandmother is saying stay in...please be very very careful...

Thankfully my job doesn't require me in the office.  I know others did/do but if its retail/restaurant/office...why?! No one was working, much less leaving their houses and schools/government offices were closed.  Emergency personnel I understand.  Skeleton crews at groceries/pharmacies if they can get there, I can understand, but the f**king mall...?  

Who the hell woke up Wednesday and was like I know I might die on the road but I really need a new pair of kicks?!?!?! 

No one, so why the f**k was the mall open?!?!?

Again...I try not to judge but this $hit makes me angry...closing for a couple days is better than losing an employee(s) because they were hurt trying to get there.  

3.) Next! Why are people eating Tide Pods?!?!?!?  Stop that right now!  

My 11 y/o niece wants to know if when you become a teenager/adult you become stupid because according to her "Even my 5 y/o sister knows not to eat laundry detergent".   

I am not talking about very young children, people with mental disorders, or people with dementia.  These morons are "normal" teens/adults doing STUPID things to become internet famous.  

This is almost as bad as the dumping boiling water trend that thankfully lasted a very short time but only after some poor child was literally scarred for life.  Or what about the cinnamon challenge where you eat a spoonful of cinnamon and try not to choke to death.  

While I hate cinnamon and would never try this, this was incredibly dangerous.  Ingesting that much at once can cause coughing which causes you to inhale the powder still in your mouth.  Which can lead to inflamed lungs and trachea causing more problems OR you might not be able to catch your breath.  It was a stupid challenge.  

Who the f**k thought this was a good idea?!?  I know people were dared to do stupid things when I was younger...before the internet was so widespread but I don't recall anyone doing anything THIS stupid.  Disgusting and risky...maybe but deadly...never or very very rarely.  

So here is your take away........don't do drugs, drink with caution, Stop eating Tide Pods, don't pour boiling water on people, use cinnamon like a normal person, don't put on accelerant and light yourself on fire (yes, that was a thing for a hot second), don't put salt on your arm and then cover it with ice (it burns), just use your f**king brain!  5 seconds of  internet fame isn't worth it!

Seriously...ANOTHER "Snow" Day

What is happening?!?!  Yesterday it "warmed" up to like the 50's.  This morning it was 42 when I woke up.  By this afternoon it will drop 10+  degrees...WHAT?!?!  Overnight 22 degrees...with a 30% chance of snow.  I mean nothing "sticking" but JFC that's frigid!

Have I mentioned I live in the DEEP SOUTH?  Maybe once or twice...maybe I should say it LOUDER!  We get snow (flurries) every 10-15 years not THREE TIMES in two months.  WTF?!?

So yea tomorrow we are shutting down again because we can't function in the cold...obviously.

Link

Then I saw this from yesterday, I think....(that pink area is in central LA right now)

Ummmmm.  That...is it just me....?

Its funny because we will have a layer of white stuff...right...right... Mother Nature about to...never mind....if I don't laugh I'll cry.

I'm going burrow under some blankets and snuggle with my dogs.

**UPDATE** there is now a 90% chance of snow...not snow showers...SNOW from 9PM-2AM...WTF?!?!?!

My nipples could cut glass!

TMI...?  Sorry. 

So I ran in the Louisiana 5k and Half this weekend.  On Saturday when we woke up it was 32 degrees but it "felt like" 24 degrees...I think it warmed up to 34 by race time.  On Sunday it was 24 degrees when we woke up but "felt like" 18...I think it warmed up to 27 degrees by race time.  Why do we do this to ourselves?!?!  Oh right because we signed up months ago and this $hit is expensive!

Anyways, on Saturday we ran easy intervals and we were good.  I had on a tank, a long sleeve moisture wicking shirt, a Northface zip up, a Wearguard half zip, running gloves, a headband ear protector thingy, and a beanie.  I didn't remove ANY layers!!!  I know it was only 3.1 miles and if we'd have run more I probably would have stripped off a layer or two but that speaks VOLUMES to me.  As in...it was f**king cold! 

When we finished I was STARVING so we went eat the yummy food at the finisher festival. 

Seriously, if you ever come for the LA Marathon weekend, the finisher food is the BEST!

On Sunday, we ran a little harder...we were VERY ambitious with the intervals.  Before the start I stripped down to just a tank, a long sleeve moisture wicking shirt, a zip up running jacket, running gloves, a headband ear protector thingy, and a beanie.  It was f**king cold!  The ONLY thing I removed was the beanie.  Again that speaks volumes.  We were running pretty hard but it was so cold we didn't take any other layers off.  There was a point where it felt like I had leggings on under my running leggings because my thighs were numb.  My face hurt.  My lungs HURT.  It was like we couldn't get enough oxygen in because the air was cold and burned.  After the 7-8 mile mark we slowed down significantly because breathing while running hurt and we couldn't catch our breath.  Some people may have been fine but many of us were not. 

When we finished we were okay for about 5 minutes and then we were FREEZING.  Thank goodness we had some layers to put back on after.  I was so cold my teeth were chattering.  Even in the sun, I just couldn't get warm. 

I wasn't even hungry.  I just did 13.1 miles and didn't even feel a little grumble.  I got food, of course, and I ate as much as I could convince my stomach I needed but it wasn't much.  And the food was soooooooo delicious...but I was just too cold...argh! 

Even after taking the hottest shower I could stand, I don't think I actually felt warm until 4 or 5 that evening. 

I wasn't hungry until I got to my Dad's for the Saints game at 3:45 ish and I wasn't even that hungry...just a little peckish.  My body was MAD about the whole below freezing running thing.  I was coughing too and was worried I got myself sick.  But apparently you can "freeze " your trachea and lungs with cold air and exertion if you don't cover your face.  Symptoms are fatigue, coughing, losing your voice, and generally feeling like poo.  GREAT!  I feel better now but geesh! We don't have face cover thingys...its not usually this cold down here!

Anyways, I've done races in the cold before..slightly below freezing before but this was different and this race was way longer.  So now I can say I ran a half in below freezing temps...in LOUISIANA no less.  Would I do it again?  Probably.  But I would buy a face cover thingy. 

In today's issue of What the f**k is happening....

I saw this:

Link

So let me get this straight.  You created an ad that, like a pregnancy test, can tell if you are pregnant.  Therefore revealing a coupon for a crib.  Okay.  Right.  There has got to be a better way to do this!!!!!  Because after pissing on this you have to bring it to the store to use the coupon.  I'd hate to be the cashier getting handed a bunch of pee soaked coupons.  Just the levels of gross.  Y'all!!!! I know its only in Sweden now but...ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.  Do y'all hate your employees?!!?!?

A close second WTF was this (not gross):

Is this for real?!?!?!  First of all those are two very conflicting things.  Frozen vs Hot....we are talking opposites here.  Did you miss that day in kindergarten???

This exists...the word you were looking for is Milkshake.  Or McFlurry, Frosty, DQBlizzard, etc.  Just make it with Chocolate ICE CREAM or chocolate syrup or whatever!

Were you raised by animals?!?!?!

Wait...that's an insult to animals.  So like there is this almost epidemic happening with the Flu.  Everyone seems to be getting it.  So far I have been INSANELY lucky.  I am taking immune boosters just in case.  I don't care if they are proven, they make me feel better...placebo effect...whatever. 

Anyways, going out in public you run the risk of being infected.  Well I might not want to be sick but like hell I was missing Comic Con.  So I took my stuff and ventured out. 

For the most part I didn't hear anyone severely ill.  Here and there you would hear/see a sneeze/cough but nothing drastic.  But just in case I had my handy dandy false sense of clean (hand sanitizer) and was a little crazy with using it.  But I was touching things other, possibly sick, people touched so better safe than sorry, right.

Towards the end of our day at WWNOLA I was thinking out loud to my hubs how nice it was that there wasn't any OBVIOUSLY ill people.  Can someone slap me next time I make a stupid f**king comment like that?!?!  Because that is just BEGGING the universe to f**k with me. 

There I was walking down one of the many exhibitor aisles looking at all the fun stuff when I went through a "crossing".   Some man walking perpendicular to me full on coughed....INTO THE SIDE OF MY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He didn't attempt to turn.  He didn't attempt to cover his mouth. 

Just hacked up a lung within 12 inches of my face.  He coughed so hard my hair blew in the "wind". 

And not just a *cough, cough*, it was like one of those "wet", I might have an infection, deep chest coughs. 

I was so grossed out I literally froze in place. 

Before I could freak out some other patron dressed as some creepy zombie looking thing smacked him on the back of his a head and said "what's wrong with you?!!?!?!".  He beelined it WITHOUT apologizing.  The zombie looked at me and said "that's how virus' spread" and walked off. 

I lost if laughing, like full belly laugh with giggles.  A ZOMBIE told me, that's how virus' are spread.  I don't know if he was trying to be funny but me and at least 3 other people who were nearby thought it was freaking hilarious. 

"How did the Zombie apocalypse start?", well you see some @$$hole went to Comic Con sick.  "Son of a B**ch!". 

I crack myself up.

Also, we are not talking like a kid or young person.  We are talking a GROWN @$$ MAN who should know to cough into his elbow!!!!

Lucky Dogs for Lunch

I know its a couple days late but this weekend was soooooo much fun.  Wizard World was PACKED Saturday...P.A.C.K.E.D.  We saw Grinches and Doctors and Harley Quinns and Wolverines and and and.  And pick something the cosplays were on point.  Although I must say my absolute FAVORITE was a guy dressed as King Jaffe Joffer!!!  I don't have a pic bc  my phone was misbehaving something awful (stupid cracked screen!) BUT he looked like f**king James Earl Jones.  His cosplay was perfection. 

Oh if you don't know that would be the King from Coming to America....

A close second was Wolverine.  This guy was Logan and you can't convince me otherwise.

See...seeeeeeeeeeeee.  And he was very nice about everyone asking for pics. 

I will also mention the PLETHORA of f**king people dressed as Pennywise.  I have no pics because I basically beelined it away from them but the costumes were accurate...VERY accurate *shudder*.

Anyways, I was super stoked for my pic, right?   Right!  And can I just say David Tennant is like the nicest freaking person ever.  He was like hyper puppy excited the entire time.  He took pics Friday evening and twice Saturday with Autographs in there someplace and a panel.  And the energy never faltered. 

I took my pic during the first session Saturday.  I was probably the hundred and something person he saw and still just happy happy.  Like how do you do that?  I know its part of the job but it seemed 100% genuine. 

So anyways, here's my account.  I was in line forEVER but that's cool, I kept myself amused by people watching, of course!  I was wearing a t-shirt...one of these years I am going to dress up!  That is happening dammit!  Anyways, I was in a Star Wars/Doctor Who mash up shirt. 

So I finally get to the front of the line "yay"!!!!  He was friendly with everyone and all laughing and smiles.  It gets to my turn and I get a "point at" (Maybe a 'okay your turn'...maybe a 'nice shirt'...maybe a weird tick...no clue) and a crazy enthusiastic "Hellooooo, Good Morning!!!!" (I don't know how to type out a Scottish accent properly) and my response.. "Hello" with the biggest stupidest cheesy smile.  I am so f**king lame...hahahaha.  Then a 1, 2, 3 picture and you are off. 

Observations:
- where does he get his freaking energy?!?!
- JFC he is significantly taller than I realized...or I am just short...or both. 
- No really I fit under his armpit
- Seriously though, he had to lean over to put his arm around me
- He is so accommodating to fans
     - a couple had him do a gender reveal and he was crazy excited
     - some ladies had him hold a thing like he was crocheting and it was adorable

People always say don't meet your favorite whatevers because they never live up to your expectations but this was not the case for like the 3 seconds hahaha.  The panel was great too.  Again, INSANELY excited.  How does he do that?!?!?!

So all in all a crazy fun day!  Saw Stan Lee from a distance.  Saw Jason Momoa by being a creeper (shoosh). Side note - I knew he was tall but good lord he is a big guy!  Saw Rowena (Ruth Connell-Supernatural) just chilling in her Autograph booth.  Saw Thomas Ian Nicholas taking selfies and looking like he was having a great time.  The Fonz...the freaking FONZ (Henry Winkler) was there.  I didn't get to meet any of these people because that would have been crazy expensive but just seeing them was super cool!  Also, ran into Rob Kerkovich walking around (Sebastian-NCIS NOLA), told him hello but I didn't ask for a pic...because I am lame.  He is so super sweet! 
 
I love love love going to these.  Its so much fun.  Just being there, walking around, surrounded by other fans...just that its worth it.  Meeting/seeing your favorite celebs is Lagniappe. 

So now I have a pic with David & Jenna.  Who will I get to meet next time?!?!?!  Maybe I should venture away from Doctor Who....NAH!  Or maybe...depends on who is coming. 

Just some sights we saw (wish I had more of the cosplays...stupid phone!):

I was in line and couldn't get their attention

Cool set up at one of the booths WWTW 

Eeep

Baby

Let go Back....to the future!