I swear I didn't plan on getting sloppy

Ha...hahaha! Okay so not sloppy but definitely not good.  I don't drink terribly much and when I do it's just a couple.  But the other night...dear god what was I thinking??!?!!?

We went to dinner where I had 3 Old Fashioneds. THREE! I am buzzed from one usually so what possessed me to have 3 is beyond me...

But I did and I was fine. I know this because I had on 5" heels and managed to not fall on my face walking to the car on NOLA Potholed streets.  This is not easy sober so I am going out on a limb and saying the 8 course small plate meal was enough to mostly counter the effects of the 3 glasses of almost straight bourbon!

Then we went to a friend's house for after dinner board games and MORE Drinking.  WTF woman you are not 21 anymore!!! You cannot drink like that and be functional the next day.  Over there I had 3 glasses of wine.  THREE!  Along with chips, peanuts, and other random snackies.  Because the 8 course meal wasn't enough.

I remember saying it was time to head out. I don't remember leaving.  I don't remember the ride home.  I don't remember putting up my coat.  I don't remember feeding the dogs.  I don't remember laying down on the couch.  I don't remember ANYTHING after saying we should head home until 6AM when I woke up on the couch in my dress with makeup still on, a knotted mass of hair, and a cat on my chest.  

I waited for the pang of a headache, the nausea, the hangover...but nothing happened.  So I stripped down, put on a t-shirt and went to bed.  I woke up at 8:30AM and still no "hangover".  How is this possible?!?!?! I've had hangovers after drinking way less.  

The hubs was also past the 6 drink mark but he remembers everything, including me having a full conversation and passing out mid-sentence.  

He didn't have a hangover either.

Around 10:30AM I had a ridiculous craving for a burger, so we got lunch.  AFTER I ate the tell tale signs of nausea and just uncomfortableness kicked in but nothing bad and still no headache.   My only conclusion is I drank a ton of water at dinner, at my friends, and when I woke up at 6AM somehow saving me from a wicked hangover.  

I didn't feel great but at least I wasn't hurting for days like some people my age complain about after a night of binge drinking.  It was a lazy day after but the animals weren't complaining because we cuddled on the couches all day.  

My nipples could cut glass!

TMI...?  Sorry. 

So I ran in the Louisiana 5k and Half this weekend.  On Saturday when we woke up it was 32 degrees but it "felt like" 24 degrees...I think it warmed up to 34 by race time.  On Sunday it was 24 degrees when we woke up but "felt like" 18...I think it warmed up to 27 degrees by race time.  Why do we do this to ourselves?!?!  Oh right because we signed up months ago and this $hit is expensive!

Anyways, on Saturday we ran easy intervals and we were good.  I had on a tank, a long sleeve moisture wicking shirt, a Northface zip up, a Wearguard half zip, running gloves, a headband ear protector thingy, and a beanie.  I didn't remove ANY layers!!!  I know it was only 3.1 miles and if we'd have run more I probably would have stripped off a layer or two but that speaks VOLUMES to me.  As in...it was f**king cold! 

When we finished I was STARVING so we went eat the yummy food at the finisher festival. 

Seriously, if you ever come for the LA Marathon weekend, the finisher food is the BEST!

On Sunday, we ran a little harder...we were VERY ambitious with the intervals.  Before the start I stripped down to just a tank, a long sleeve moisture wicking shirt, a zip up running jacket, running gloves, a headband ear protector thingy, and a beanie.  It was f**king cold!  The ONLY thing I removed was the beanie.  Again that speaks volumes.  We were running pretty hard but it was so cold we didn't take any other layers off.  There was a point where it felt like I had leggings on under my running leggings because my thighs were numb.  My face hurt.  My lungs HURT.  It was like we couldn't get enough oxygen in because the air was cold and burned.  After the 7-8 mile mark we slowed down significantly because breathing while running hurt and we couldn't catch our breath.  Some people may have been fine but many of us were not. 

When we finished we were okay for about 5 minutes and then we were FREEZING.  Thank goodness we had some layers to put back on after.  I was so cold my teeth were chattering.  Even in the sun, I just couldn't get warm. 

I wasn't even hungry.  I just did 13.1 miles and didn't even feel a little grumble.  I got food, of course, and I ate as much as I could convince my stomach I needed but it wasn't much.  And the food was soooooooo delicious...but I was just too cold...argh! 

Even after taking the hottest shower I could stand, I don't think I actually felt warm until 4 or 5 that evening. 

I wasn't hungry until I got to my Dad's for the Saints game at 3:45 ish and I wasn't even that hungry...just a little peckish.  My body was MAD about the whole below freezing running thing.  I was coughing too and was worried I got myself sick.  But apparently you can "freeze " your trachea and lungs with cold air and exertion if you don't cover your face.  Symptoms are fatigue, coughing, losing your voice, and generally feeling like poo.  GREAT!  I feel better now but geesh! We don't have face cover thingys...its not usually this cold down here!

Anyways, I've done races in the cold before..slightly below freezing before but this was different and this race was way longer.  So now I can say I ran a half in below freezing temps...in LOUISIANA no less.  Would I do it again?  Probably.  But I would buy a face cover thingy. 

$hit, I've time traveled again....

So nothing screams I *heart* the 90's more than a chunky heel and sparkly flower things.

So imagine my shock when in my email I have:

Where's my butterfly clips and body glitter!?!?!

What were we thinking?!?

So I clicked it and saw the below... "OMG military chic also screams 90's...".  Its not exact but its close....

I mean I still have my docs because f**k y'all, docs are comfy.

Also, I do not remember my cheapy boots costing 39.99....o_O

Obviously these aren't quite as "Holy $hit 90's" as the 3" platform military style things I used to wear but its definitely pulling at my memories here.

I mean I owned something like the below back in the day so yea....

I know they say styles come back around but that makes me feel old so *plfeet*...

**side note** totally saw another chick in the mall with high-top docs and fishnets with jean shorts and a baggy band shirt & flannel.  I had to do a double take.  I wore that!  That is grunge chic and that was me...OMG stahp!  

obvi not me but you get the gist!

I remember reading this tomorrow

Wait what?!?! That's not how that works...is it?!?!  Someone call The Doctor we have a conundrum!

Apparently time travel is mathematically possible.  Sweet...but I think physics may have something to say about that....right?

Anyways saw this, "Scientists say time travel is possible and explain how in new study" (link)

Sweet! I think.  Wait.  I feel like in the wrong hands this could go...... 

"Evidence suggests that huge gravitational forces, such as those emitted by black holes, can slow down time.
The scientists’ model is based on similar idea: that a strong force could disrupt spacetime and “bend time into a circle for passengers”, which would, in theory at least, mean people could travel faster than the speed of light and therefore go back in time."

Soooooooooooo like a T.A.R.D.I.S.  I mean that is basically a T.A.R.D.I.S.  The answer is, What is a T.A.R.D.I.S.?  Right...? A strong force like, oh say an Artificial Black Hole.....right.....Is the Doctor stranded on Earth again?  Or another Time Lord in need of a lift?  Aliens...? What is happening?

Whatever the case is just because we can Math it doesn't mean we can do it...at least not in the foreseeable future...right? Unless we have done it and created infinite realities which warp around each traveler.  Isn't that the Multiverse theory...or close to it? 

Its to early to science this much, I need more coffee. 

Go home Mother Nature...you are DRUNK!

Southern States don't really have a true winter.  I mean like it gets cool...ish but rarely do we have Hard Freeze Warnings for the Entire state...especially the SE portion of it.  I mean it happens but its not often and when it does...if there is Ice/Sleet/Snow we can't function.  And its usually once in the season for like a day or two.

Thankfully this time the rain stopped BEFORE the temps dropped too much so the Ice/Sleet/Snow was not a factor for the most part. 

But you see I had races this weekend...BECAUSE I AM CRAZY.  I had to bow out of the one Saturday *whew* but Sunday I still ran. 

Now mind you when I checked the weather forecast on Thursday it said  "Saturday 39 with a windchill of 34" and "Sunday 43 with a wind chill of 38".  Okay that is f**king cold BUT we got this...right.  I checked it Friday evening and it said "Saturday 34 with a windchill of 28" and "Sunday 39 with a wind chill of 34"... 

I woke up Saturday morning...

WTF?!?!?  Glad I'm staying home...

You might be thinking that is just a thin layer of ice over water...NOPE!  It is a frozen solid 5" puddle (shut up that is significant down here).  I stood on it.  It cracked a little but it held my weight....So yea, I had on my heater but I also had on  leggings, sweat pants, two long sleeve shirts, and a sweat shirt.  I was still f**king cold...so I basically spent my Saturday under a blanket on the couch with two dogs and two cats huddled for warmth.  I am southern...I am not made for this!

From Hyperbole and a Half (not mine)

So Sunday I get up to run 5.59 miles and see this...

Oh come on now!  F**k you Mother Nature!!!  So yea I ran in this.  The issue isn't the running.  Once you get started (and can finally feel you feet), you warm up significantly.  The issue is when you stop.  Because when you stop, you are sweaty and its still below freezing.  So yea I froze my @$$ off waiting for my friend (which wasn't long) and froze further trying to get some Jambalaya and Beer.  I went home and took the hottest shower I could stand...it took me 30 minutes to warm up in the shower.  Basically I was a human Popsicle.

Yes yes yes I know other people run in sub zero Bull$hit and run in this type of weather all the time but as I've stated before...I.am.Southern....we aren't used to this.  I can handle a cool run but freezing...f**k that...BURR!

What sucks is because we were so cold after the race, I didn't get to go to WWNOLA this year *wah*.  I really wanted to do the autograph thing with at least Stephen Amell and/or Christopher Lloyd.

I used to dance to this song. My BFF and I did that weird pop/hump air to this song. How did I forget about this song?!?!

This is like a throw back to my early teens.  I mean the song came out in 1993.  I was what...12.  OMG I wasn't even a teen yet!  I was going to sock hops & CYA dances and dancing to this!  CYA Dances!!!!!  That is the CHRISTIAN Youth Association.  How WRONG is that?!?!  I even had a cassette tape of it!!!!  Mom what were you thinking?!?! 

I don't even think I understood the whole reference.  I mean I was 12 so I knew SOMETHING but just, just listen to the lyrics!!! Oh and watch the video.  I am having flashbacks of shaking it like a dog and doing the Fire Hydrant.  Wow...just wow.  That's just wrong wrong wrong.  And we thought we were hot $hit dancing like that.  Good doG!

PLEASE!!!Gemme dat donkey butt and dem big ole legs! Update: on Facebook   #12Gauge  https://www.facebook.com/TwelveMuzik/
Posted by Calvin MrGrind Howard on Friday, October 16, 2015