Spoiled Wife you say...

I say, "quit driving like a jacka$$ you 'spoiled' biotch!"

Driving to work this morning I was run off of I-10 by a small car about the size of my small car.  She clearly did not see the little blue car in the left lane doing 80 MPH, keeping a safe distance from the car in front of her.  Or she just didn't care and assumed I would...I dunno teleport out of her way. 

I-10 where I was is two lanes...TWO lanes!!!  So I didn't have the option of moving into another lane.  She just came over.  I am not talking turned on the blinker and switch lanes giving me time to react like a normal person.  She suddenly realized she was about to ram the State vehicle going 70 (the speed limit) in the right lane so instead of, oh I dunno BRAKING, she just jerked the car to the left...where I happened to be. 

SIDE NOTE - Honestly you should NEVER do that!!! If you are about to rear-end someone DO NOT blindly go to the other driving lane.  Swerve to the SHOULDER!!! It is safer and there is less of a chance of you hitting someone!!!!

The thing is I kind of saw it.  I realized before it happened what was possibly going to happen so I let my foot off the accelerator.  This didn't help much, well it helped a little because instead of being right next to her I was about a half car's length next to her.  I didn't really have time to brake at this point, it all happened very quickly.  I was able to swerve my little car to the left ONTO THE SHOULDER and hit the brakes enough to avoid her.  I almost got rear ended and my car sure did lose traction, having two wheels doing 80ish on the gravely side area.  The little light came on and there was a lot of dinging. You know the one that lets you know "hey hon, your car is hydroplaning.  Just wanted to make sure you knew. *kisses*"  It really is a pointless warning light.  Like no $hit car.  Is that why I am losing control of you?!?  I didn't realize my tires were no longer connecting with the pavement.  How could you NOT realize that?!?!?! Anyway,  I thought that's it I am going lose control of the car and slam into the freaking middle divider fence thing. FML!

By some grace of God I managed to maintain control of my car and got back in the lane.  As I got back up to the speed limit I caught up to her because the rest of the left lane peeps in front of us were going about 70-75.  As I caught up to her I saw the crap fest that was her car.  It was a nice-ish car. Nothing too fancy, like a Civic, maybe a Kia, or something like that.  Across the back window in HOT PINK was the website "spoiledwife.com".  This just made me groan in annoyance.  Then you also had the license plate which was also hot pink and zebra and glittery.  I couldn't read the actual plate number but I surely was blinded by the words "Spoiled Wife" shining in the morning sunlight. 

SIDE NOTE - You aren't really that "spoiled"...its not like its a BMW or Lexus or Mercedes or something of that nature!!! Stop acting all special in your freaking Kia Rio.  My momma gots one of those and she is most definitely NOT spoiled!

I really wanted to hulk out and run her off the road but I am not crazy (unlike her).  So I decided I would look up the website and give a few choice words to the administrator...thinking she clearly runs it or works for them if she is advertising like that.  Guess what...the domain doesn't exist...it might be "up for sale".  What happened boo did your hubby/wifey not pay the bill???  If your spouse "spoils" you more power to you but do you have to be such a royal douche nozzle about it?!?!?  You could have killed me and the person behind me with your shenanigans in your stupid car with it's stupid decorations!  Not to mention blinding us with the obnoxious blingy license plate.  Look I love sparkles but they shouldn't be on a car...it is a driving hazard.  If your hubby/wifey is so keen on spoiling you maybe you should spring for some driving lessons and keep the bling limited to your person. 

In case you are thinking well everyone makes mistakes...maybe she just wasn't paying attention and normally is a good driver.  No, just NO! I should also mention that once she got enough past the state vehicle, which in my opinion and I am thinking the state operators opinion based on his "Oh $hit" moment, was not nearly enough space she jumped back to the right lane and blew past traffic going about 90 MPH.  Then I saw her swerve back into the left lane causing lots of brake lights to come on in front of me.  I lost track of her after that.

People are such @$$holes!!!!!!!!!