Death by c**k

Its not...its not what you think.  But is effing hilarious!!!!

So I was driving through God's country not too long ago and I realized how much of a city girl I am.  I like camping and such but I think I got some nature in my eye and I may need a spa day.

Like I said driving in no mans land LA for work and I decided to take a detour.  I swear I had good reasons.  But logically I should have stayed on the Interstate instead of following my Google Maps App saying to take this pitted two lane highway through small towns I've never heard of.  I'm talking population 50...if you count the livestock kind of towns. 

The speed limit signs were no where to be seen...yet I saw a plethora of small town coppers just a waiting to give out tickets.  It was the most panicked hour drive I have ever been on.  I had no idea if I should be going 60 MPH or 30 MPH or somewhere in the middle.  At one point I spotted a sign that did say 55 MPH and I was going 45 so I sped up, then 5 miles later it was 35 *slamming brakes* WTH man?!?!!  I hate you small town U.S.A!!!!  I had 18 wheelers and old ladies passing me and flipping me off but like hell I was getting a speeding ticket in one of these little towns!

Anyways, I got to this smallish town that most peeps in LA have heard of because of its Mardi Gras shenanigans that involves chickens.  I hadn't eaten all day and it was like 2:00 PM.  So I pulled off the highway towards a gas station to get a coke and chill for a second. The speed limit only dropped to 45 MPH, whoohoo!  Then something ran (or casually walked) into the road.  I hit the brakes cursing.  It was a f**king chicken...crossing the road... *sigh*.   I decided to text my BFF...the below happened and it was EPIC at least in my head.

Me: I almost hit a chicken crossing the road...

Me:  There's a joke in there somewhere...
Her: LOL! So I take it you're enjoying the drive
Me: I stand corrected it was actually a rooster (the damn thing just looked at me a cock a doodle doo-ed its little brains out....)
Me: OMG I could have died.........death by c**k lol!!!

Her: O.M.G.

Me: Talk about FOWL play
Me: Oh God someone stop me...I think I need food!

Her: No, please don't stop LOL!!!!!!!!!

In conclusion, I am f**king hilarious when my blood sugar is low!